Boy Meets Girl

It sounds to me like you have the appropriate amount of involvement going on. You control when and how he sees this girl, you're in communication with her parents, you know their values, how could it be better than that? I would want to have that level or more of control over my teen's relationships. 14 is very young to start a serious relationship. I would definitely be keeping tabs.

Kids that age can get pregnant.
Okay, just one scenario.

The human brain, is not fully developed until 26 years old.

The National Geographic magazine, had an issue all about Teenagers and their brains and how they develop and how that impacts their decision making and impulses and why they do things.
It was the October 2011 issue. I read it.
It is a good thing to read, for any parent.
http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2011/10/teenage-brains/...

Me?
If that were my daughter, I would keep in the know.

Me when I was that age? Well, I remember there were kids, who were partnered up with the opposite sex. They went on outings as a group with their other friends. Once dropped off at a place, well the "couples" would sometimes split up and separate from the group. And go wherever they wanted. Such as: Behind a building, making out and groping etc.
And then when it was pick up time, these kids would promptly be at the place their parents were going to be to pick them up. Just like nothing happened. The parents had NO idea, their son or daughter, was with their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" behind a building making out, earlier.
But the other kids knew.

My 13 year old has a girlfriend that is fixing to be 14 but they do go to the same school. Our familys get along great and they are together a lot. We don't really let them be alone. I think at 14 they don't need to be left alone even if they are good kids. Your familys sound like us. I talk to her mom daily and it's so nice cause we both know what's going on and are involved. We even spent Christmas day together. Sounds like you are doing a good job with him.

I think it's PERFECT. This way both families are involved with each other and their relationship will be 'bigger' then just raging hormones. They will both be more accountable.

My oldest is 19, he's had the same GF for 4 years. I ADORE her, and know her family well. Now they are both away at different colleges, and somehow holding to together anyway. It DOES make me sad, the propect that the chance of your first love being your LAST love, but I will still love and support both of them, whatever happens.

Here's the way I see it. Any 'friend' of my kids is a friend of mine, how should a BF or GF be any different?

And yeah, make sure he knows how to treat a girl, and is ready with BC and all that.

Sounds very healthy to me.

:)

Everything you are currently doing sounds fine.

You just have to keep things in perspective. Through you son you have met these parents in another town that have shared values and from time to time you host each other. Don't look at it as involvement in their relationship.

14? then you need to be involved. Kids do things when alone. Yep, and if you want your kid to be a GOOD boy then what your doing is just fine. If they want to keep up the relationship its going to have to be this way or no way at all right? Too young to be too serious. Keep up the good work mom!

As a mother you never should feel too involved, it's your job to make sure that you know what's going on with your son and it's awesome that you are kinda close with her mom. seems like a lot of your values are the same which means each family knows what to expect from the others and the kids are less likely to come up with a scheme, and get one of you.
That being said I had a boyfriend when I was 15. He lived a couple towns away and I didnt have a drivers license. His mom worked in my town so she picked me up, and my boyfriend took me home. His family was very supportive and I became part of the family. My family liked him , but their guard was up " She's only 15, she can't fall in love!!" etc. etc. etc...... Well guess what?????

I fell in LOVE with that boy and eventually he turned into a man, and me a women. We bought a house, got married (after 7 1/2 yrs dating) And now have 2 beautiful boys of are own! He is my bestfriend, our relationship only gets better, aand I go to bed every night thanking god to have found my man in the moon! I also love his mom as my own. She was always so suportive, and I could confide in her with anything. Don't get me wrong there are times she drives me nuts, but I think that happens when your so close. Plus If it wouldnt have been for her raising suh a wonderful caring goof ball, Maybe I still might be searching for the "One"

Love is not something that can be created, I don't care if your 15 or 50, when you experience it, there is no way around it. I would rather be with my first love, then to have broken up and dated around. I never felt as If I were missing out, more grateful to know I LOVE him, and he LOVES me, and we don't give up on one other, we share everything and trust each other 110% because the respect we have for one another is a priority.

We have made it being together almost 13 years and will be celebrating our 5 year wedding anniversary this year!! You never know where your heart will take you, so don't be to easy to judge it as just a little young romance :)

Read Rachael A's answer. Wonderful, astute, a description of ideal circumstances. Congratulations Rachael ! ! !

That almost happened to me. Same idea. Almost same circumstances. We ended up not marrying, but I would have married her. I pined for her for years. We were 200 miles apart. I learned to write because of her. We'd write each other 20 page letters. Our relationship lasted for 3 years like that.

I could write my story, but Rachael's turned out happily ever after. Keep up the supportive involvement. If they fall for one another and get married in 6 to 8 years, then they will have a chance to marry their child hood sweethearts and both will have MIL and FIL they will love and cherish. What a wonderful gift you will have given your kids . . . and grandkids. Kids raised in a happy home have the best of chances for a happy marriage.

Good luck to you and yours.

Awww puppy love! Reminds me of a boy (can NOT think of his name right this second) that I met when I was 12, my family was camping, I had the choice to either play with my brothers, or make my own friends. I met a boy :) He was super sweet, and *gasp* we held hands once!!

My parents got really, really close to his parents, and turns out, we went to the same campground the same time each year, so we saw each other annually.... but that's it. We were pen pals (this was before I was allowed an email account)... it was sweet. Totally innocent... and made for a nice memory :)

As long as you trust your kiddo, step back and let them do their own thing, see where it ends up!!

I think it's great to have family events for kids who 'like' each other so they get to know the families, the siblings, and not just see each other on a perfect 'date'. They get a better picture of how they would all get along as a family if they did decide to make it more official.

Oh, so they are 14? I wasn't allowed to have a relationship at 14. Wow... I agree with Bug, wholeheartedly. 14-year-olds do not make good decisions.

What exactly do you mean by "low key?" If your son is a teenager you SHOULD be involved. Teenagers make stupid, hormonal decisions.

P.S. YES, you have the right. In fact, it's you duty as a parent.

Weird responses so far.... Of course teenagers have relationships at 14. I did.... all my friends did.... I just was not as open with my parents! Good for you for having such a good relationship with your son that he feels comfortable involving you in his life.
Anyway, I hear you on the dilema. Fact is that the relationship is not likely to last terribly long given their age. I am not sure what advice to give other than to keep doing what you have been doing. If you enjoy seeing the other family... carry on, but just be prepared that it won't be a long term friendship for you either. Otherwise you could take turns with pick ups and drop offs. You drop off your son and they bring him home, or vice versa with their daughter. Or if there is somewhere teen friendly for them to "hang out" in between, such as a mall or something, they both get dropped off and picked up by their own parents. Having them meet in public places also limits opportunity for hanky panky situations ;0) At 14, they are plenty old enough to be at a safe public place without parents.

PS - you can stop them from making out at age 14. You can only make them become more sneaky about their behavior.

honest, honest answer: the horse is already thru the gate.

this is the responsibility parents face when allowing their kids to date before they're able to drive.....

we stick with the "no dating until 16" rule in our home. :)

not judging, just saying. You allowed this. You helped create the situation. That's just life. Please be thankful that he's not out roaming the streets. Personally, I'd much rather know what's up!

I'd say you were too involved if they had drama and you got involved in a "Jenny told ME that YOU told HER that MY SON can't kiss!" or something like that. Since the kids are allowed to date at 14 I think it's great that the parents are involved. Just be sure that they realize that your involvement is that of a parent, not a BFF. Set and keep boundaries. Best wishes.

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