Black and White????

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner was a shocking movie in its time...I'd have hoped we would have moved on by now, 40 years later. Maybe your friend would benefit from seeing it, with her daughter.
First of all, this is a high school dating situation and not likely to lead to marriage, but it certainly pushed your friend's button. Why? I would suggest that she examine that question, and enlist the help of a counselor if necessary, because ultimately she will find out a lot about herself. It is a also an opportunity for her and her daughter to communicate intimately about their feelings. They both can benefit from this seeming disaster.
Children of mixed ethnicities look so beautiful; i see that as a positive sign, of people of different races marrying and having children. I am a teacher and have had many students whose parents were of different races and there was NEVER any problem. Please let's get beyond skin color and religious differences and see the person within. When my daughter marries, I welcome a person of any race or religion--my only requirement is that he has a good and kind heart.

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C.,
I can understand your friends concerns. My neices mom married a black man, both of them are in the USAF, and my neice is from Tx, so as you can imagine, this didn't go over very well iwth the family. And like I told her, what matters most, that your mom is happy and well loved and taken care of or the color of this persons skin?

My only advise is this...does color really matter if two people make each other happy and are good for each other? Would it matter if the person she started seeing was another female? I hope this provides a little insight.

Hope this helps.

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Seems really odd for race to be a concern in this day and age. If she has no problem with race what could the issue possibly be?

My husband's parents where an interracial couple beginning in the late 50's. Their relationship was actually illegal in Alabama, the state his father came from. My husband's mother came from a snooty white family from Seattle and her parents were horrified. They told everyone that the only reason for the marriage was that their daughter was pregnant. But once my husband was born (2 years later, ha ha), his mother's parents came around pretty quickly and realized their son in law was actually a great guy! So change, even for people with the most entrenched views, is possible.

I guess I just can't wrap my head around why anybody would be upset at their daughter's boyfriend based upon his skin color. I mean, wouldn't you want to know how he does in school, if he likes sports, where he's going to go to college? Because I'm sure there are a LOT of unacceptable boys out there based solely on those factors. Why reject a great candidate for Daughter's Boyfriend because of skin color? That's like saying she shouldn't date someone from Nebraska, or she shouldn't date someone who wears glasses.

Ugh, I just don't even know what to tell you on this one. I'm not sure I could be friends with someone who I knew felt this way...

Well, it is obviously an issue for your friend, now it is just in her lap. Yes, an inter-racial relationship is difficult due to the world that we live in. Relationships are hard at 16 anyway, realizing that this is probably not the person she will spend the rest of her life with. Like with any other teen relationship - the more the parent protests it, the more they want to be together. I think if the parent's concern is for the criticism the couple might get is the issue, then that is an easy sit down with the two and how to handle that. However, if the issue is that the parent has a problem with the other race....that is her issue to deal with, it is not the couple's issue. It is no fun to look at our own fears - but you do not want to project those on to our own children. The more we talk about it - the easier it becomes to deal with.

Blessings, M. S