Bathing My 20Month Old

I agree with Peg M.'s suggestions. Don't try to force her into the tub. In fact don't bring up taking a bath in the tub until you've tried desensitizing her as Peg suggested. Be sympathetic with her about her fear. Stop doing whatever you're doing at the beginning of her protest and before she gets over worked about it. I think she'll gradually let go of the fear and be back to enjoying bath time.

This is a thought that might be way off. She may not be as fearful of the water now as she was at the beginning and may now be protesting the idea that she has to get in the tub. This could be a control issue and once you relinquish control to her she'll be comfortable getting in the water.

Oh, what an uncomfortable situation for you all! I imagine your daughter understands most of what you say, and can probably communicate some of her own thoughts. I would be inclined to start by keeping up the wash cloth baths and gradually desensitizing her by several means:

1. Empathize with her. Don't tell her she shouldn't be scared or that there's nothing to worry about, because that's obviously not her actual experience. Tell her, "Oh, yes, honey, I can see how scared you are. You just noticed that sometimes water feels different, and much bigger, than your bath."

2. Help her remember, when she's NOT anywhere near bath time, that she enjoyed her baths: have a doll or puppet act out bath time games, and have her wash them, IF she likes, in a dry bath (plastic tub), and then gradually introduce a few inches of water over repeated sessions.

3. Give her water-oriented games to play. An ice-cube tray with different food colors in the cups, with a small spoon, Q-tips, or paper towel to mix colors. A shallow tub with boats, rubber duckies, floating balls, cups and pans. A water pistol on a warm day, or a lawn sprinkler. Supervise her closely so she won't have any mishaps that might frighten her further.

4. If you can find books or cartoon videos that show characters enjoying water, but are not too overboard with it, she might tolerate those.

5. When using the washcloth at the sink, start letting the sink fill more and more over a few weeks. Assuming she washes her hands without panic, try introducing more water then, too.

6. There are kids who don't tolerate soap well and get washed with water only. A wet washcloth may not do a perfect job of hair-washing, but it will probably be good enough. I even read an article lately that washing hair really isn't necessary (though may take some adjusting to). If her hair is long, you might consider a cute, short hairstyle until she gets beyond the panic.

If all else fails, I have read that a couple of moms on this site have simply held their kids down and bathed them until the fear gradually collapsed under its own weight. Since the emotional outcome of that may be unpredictable, though, I'd want to start with a gentler approach. I sure do wish you all happy bath time.

Try taking her to the store that offers unique bath toys that moves or makes noises. Ask her to pick out a few for the next time she needs a bath that she would like to play with. Then when you do have bath night, mom get into the bath tub with the toys and try to encourage her to want to come in and play with you and the toys. My little girl did the same thing and now she wont get out of the tub unless I empty it. :)

Have you tried a sprinkler on the grass? Kids love to run in and out of the water drops and there would be no body of water to frighten her. At least she would get semi-clean and probably have a great time cooling off now that the days are getting hot. I think the fear will pass as time goes on if you don't force her.

D.

Have you tried bathing with her? Maybe if you and she climbed into the tub together for a bath, that might help.
I feel badly for the both of you, and hope it gets better soon.
Good luck.

Wow, it's tough, each kid is different and each stage is different. We have 5 kids and they seem to always follow our example--if we are excited they will get excited (eventually). If we are stressed over it they will be stressed.

Have you tried a bubble bath?

Also, blowing bubbles in the tub without water one night--and give her a birdbath, then a little water the next night and she gets to blow bubbles, etc, one night at a time? During the day talk about how exciting it is going to be to take a bath.....

Or you could take a bath with her? We also have one kid who hates the pool, used to hate baths but would take a shower with us if the water didn't get in her face.... go figure.

Take her in the shower with you. Have her sit on a washcloth so it's not to slippery. She can bring in a little container to pour and collect water and a few small toys. Tell her it's like being in the rain.

I work with kids in a therapeutic setting, and the first thing I would urge is to not hold her down and force her. She has a fear, and forcing her through it can cause trauma and a long-lasting fear of water. Just don't force it. Her fear may not make sense to you, but it's very real and scary for her--she's fighting for her life in her mind.

Whatever sparked the fear seems to be beyond her reasoning and control, so you have to approach it gently. There are good suggestions on this page already. I would definitely bathe with her, whether in the bath or shower...at first, you can get in and put some toys in, and just have her in the bathroom with you. You can play while you're in the tub or shower, and she can be on the outside of the tub playing with you. Just build it up slowly, don't make a big deal about it, give her praise for getting closer to the goal, and don't worry too much. This too shall pass. Just show her it's okay, take it slow.

Bring her in the shower with you.. I have been showering with my 10 month old son since he was 6 months. I put a little basketball net on the tile low to ground and bought one of those foam frog mats from Babies's R Us and he sits on that so if he falls back he lands on foam. But your daughter is 20months so that won't be an issue. Just tell her she is a big girl now and do get clean with mommy (or daddy) . Get a big size hair and body wash with a pump and her own body loofah on a hook in the shower low enough for her to reach herself and show her how to pump out the wash and scrub herself down. Shampoo your hair first so she sees you do it then do hers. My 6 year ols has been showering himself since he was 2 and to this day he does it. Now my baby sees me turn the shower on and will clap because he knows it is time to play and get clean. Hope this helps.