My Son Hates Baths!

Updated on July 18, 2008
L.L. asks from Sacramento, CA
49 answers

Hi everyone, I need advice on how to fix this problem. Before my son could stand/walk, he didn't really like baths but he would tolerate them. He would sit there very still and let you bathe him. Now, however, he can stand/walk and tries to escape the tub while you're bathing him.

Once he learned to stand, he began to stand up while you're giving him a bath. Now he's physically trying to get out of the tub and cries the entire time. My husband is the one who gives him a bath and they have the hardest time. Last week he cried so much he threw up all his bananas he'd eaten an hour beforehand.

We've tried bubbles, toys, splashing....nothing works. I gave him a bath a few days ago and he was whimpering before he got in the tub. We've even tried speaking calmly during the bath to reassure him we're not going to let something bad happen to him. Granted my husband has a shorter fuse that I and towards the end of bath time, he's frustrated and yelling and my son's crying LOUDER. I could give him baths but its the one thing I don't do on a regular basis so I can have 30 mins of ME time. But even when I do give him a bath he still cries...sometimes I cry with him :(.

My husband wants to teach him how to swim but my feeling is we need to get him to be ok with baths before we take him to a pool. He's becoming more active and soon we'll have to give him baths nightly. Has anyone had this issue? If so what did you do? I really don't want this to be a dreadful experience for all of us and its getting to be that way.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your help! I love the fact that when I have a problem I am able to call on my fellow moms!

Well, just to let you know, I gave my son a bath in the kitchen sink and he didn't cry the entire time! He cried when I washed his hair (which I don't do every time but had to because he had a glob of pureed carrots in it) but his hair doesn't take long so he didn't cry for long! He had fun trying to grab the running water and playing with the faucet so he never was bored. We were laughing by the end of it, which NEVER happens. Although he stood up the whole time, he let go of me for a tiny bit of time to just clap with his hands under the water. It may not seem like a lot, but for us this is HUGE!

Just to answer a few of your questions, we only give him a bath twice a week but we know with him being more active, nightly baths are in the near future. And we only filled the bathtub with about 3 - 4 inches of water because that all he really needed. I did notice he was enjoying the running water, so maybe that was our problem before. Usually the tub was ready by the time he got in; I guess not enough excitement :) We haven't exposed him to a pool or other water than the bathtub so that may have also been an issue.

Thank you all so much for your ideas! Because of your suggestions, I have a few backup plans if the kitchen sink doesn't work for very long!

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P.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Try the kitchen sink. The tub may just seem too big and dangerous to him. This may sound more than riduculous, but maybe in a past life sonething happened that had to do with water. Its been said most irrational fears come from something like that. Just a random thought. Anyway, try the sink idea.
Good Luck

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I just posted this a week ago about my 2 year old daughter. I had great responses from many. All the advice ranged from changing the time of the bath, maybe he associates it with a time right after that he doesn't like. Also, if you run the water while he is in there, maybe that scares him. If you don't run the water, maybe that would be fun for him. If you drain the water when he is in the tub, that might scare him.
What I did is start running the water while my daughter is in the tub and she loves to play with the running water.
I also heard that this is NORMAL stage and this too shall pass. So having heard that, I just try to get her in and done as QUICK as possible. The trick is finding why he is so upset. Good luck.

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T.S.

answers from Salinas on

A friend of mine told me that the advice she was given from her ped for her husband to bond with the baby was to hold the baby while taking a shower. I always remembered that and had to use it on occasion with my kids. Just yesterday my son who is almost 2 got a shower with me. They feel comforted and close and they get clean. I would suggest you try that and ease him into the bath. And remember babies don't need baths nightly- you can always use a wet wipe.
Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Wow, there are actually a number of things you can try. first, are you giving him a bath in the regular bathtub? Maybe it's too big and he doesn't feel secure. Try getting a small baby bath and see if he isn't more comforable. Also, maybe don't put so much water in it. He may feel insecure with too much water. Also, has your husband tried bathing WITH your son? You know, getting into the tub or even the shower with him? If all else fails, you could fill up the kitchen sink and let him sit on the counter and put his feet in the sink and just wash and rinse him like that. You might also think about taking him to the pool. For whatever reason, I have known children to be terribly afraid of the water at a pool, but have no problem taking a bath. Maybe it works the other way around? You never know how he's going to react at the pool until you take him there. Seeing the other children in the water might help him overcome his fear. Good luck! Like you said, bathing is an every day experience so it's really hard when it has to be such a big deal.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear L.,
My kids never hated baths. But, when they were infants, I put them in the shower with me and they always loved the shower. Try getting in the shower with your little boy. By the time my son was a year old, he was standing in the shower by himself (I have pictures). I gave him a big plastic cup and he loved filling it then dumping the water on his head to help me get the shampoo off. He loved the bathtub, hot tub, swimming pools, but he was a shower boy when it came to washing. Give it a try. He may not like the water coming down on him....then again...he may love it.

Oh...the other thing....
My first baby screamed every time I put her in the bath. I was worked up into a sweat and shaking by the time it was over. Turns out, because I was afraid of burning her, the water wasn't warm enough. She wanted hot water and I just started putting her in the shower with me. My little boy was the same way.

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A.T.

answers from San Francisco on

L.,
Swimming lessons might be the thing. Sounds crazy but... my daughter hated having her hair washed... she didn't mind being in the tub but washing and rinsing hair was a total screaming nightmare. Then we started swimming lessons, and she started having fun in the water and getting used to water in her face in a non-threatening atmosphere, and now she is fine with having her hair washed.

It sounds like he's really scared. It seems like you need to take your husband out of the equation for a little while - have him do something else with your son so you can get me-time, I know that's important. And then I'd do a few non-baths in the tub, or even a kiddie pool, where all you do is get wet, and play with toys, then get out. You can wash him off with a washcloth outside the tub for a few days. But do everything you can to have good experiences for several days. Maybe even get in the tub with him and just play and then get out.

If he's afraid of water in his face, there are visors you can have him wear, or there's a bucket you can get that has a soft front and you put it on the top of their head and it seals water from going down in their face. Both available at one step ahead I believe. What finally worked best for us was a washcloth that my daughter holds over her own eyes, but honestly nothing got better until swimming lessons and showers afterwards WITHOUT soap. That no-tears soap and shampoo still stings when it gets in their eyes.

I also just didn't wash her hair for a little over a week at one point - we would get it wet, but not wash it, slowly moving more and more toward the top of her head, and we played in the tub every day that week so that she could become more and more comfortable with the tub being a fun place. Good luck!

A.

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

We went through the same thing with my son who is almost 16 months old. We figured it out that the main tub we use is too big and overwhelming for him and then he started to not like the pool. For him, we purchased one of those inflatable tubs that go in the bathtub. It is a smaller space and he feels more comfortable in it. We also use an inflatable kiddie pool in the backyard during hot days to get him to enjoy the water in different places and spaces. Hope you find something that works, I know how frustrating it can be when you have to bathe them at least every other night and it is a stressful time at the end of the day. Hopefully it can only get better!
Jen

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C.J.

answers from San Francisco on

How is he with water on his body when he's not in the tub? Has he ever had a shower - and how did he respond to it if he did?

When I showered with my kids, I would have them wear a onesie or something, because they would get really slippery! If possible, convert your shower to a hand held shower with a hose - then he can have a shower down at his level, and usually you can adjust the force of the water so it's really gentle.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you or your husband tried taking showers WITH him? We went through a similar thing with our daughter. We basically took turns taking showers with her until she was 2.5. Now she's almost 4 and LOVES to take baths.
I think you should wait until he's over his fears before teaching him how to swim. I doubt you'd make any progress.
Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Sacramento on

The previous person had great suggestions. Also try the "tub crayons" he can grafitti all over the place. The tub foam (colored), also makes things fun. Is he too big for the tub ring seat? My daughter stayed in hers until she could absolutely not fit - as she seemed to have balance issues and depth perception concerns in the tub for a long time. She just needed to feel safe and secure. She is a fish in water now - but that was a stressful time.

Bathtime books and videos can also help him.

Best wishes!

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J.K.

answers from Fresno on

Try taking him in the shower with you or his dad and hold him in the shower.

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K.B.

answers from Yuba City on

Take a bath WITH him. Bath time should be ENJOYABLE (but messy til they are 6-7) so you need to change the situation completely. And fast.
DONT do swim lessons, he is just too little. Swim lessons are best the summer after they start kinder.
Can he be bathed in the sink? My kids had sink baths til they didnot fit in sink, it is smaller and less slip room etc. kids like feeling snug.
also way less far for mom to bend over. I also bathed them with me in the tub as infants, the bending over was too hard for me. My husband handed them to me and took them from me when i was done. he would hand me the items i needed too.How did you bathe him as an infant?
I dont know why he is scared of the bath, but yelling is just not cool at all! Some kids are scared of water (and really isnt that a GOOD instinct?) A tub is a big lot of water. Try "bird baths" for a bit then try him in the dry tub with you. A bird bath is a sink of warm soapy and you just wash him off with a cloth dipped in it. (no submersion)Let him handle the cloth how ever he wants, have two if you like: one for him to play chew, one for you to really wash him with. but let him feel in control of something.
After a few weeks of bird baths, introduce him to the tub and let him be involved with turning on and off the water, this is a good time to teach hot and cold. Let your kid be involved, empower him. in every step of the bath routine. Get in the tub and have your husband hand him to you when the water is very low (inch) or even dry to start. You need to remain calm, fun, and reassuring. Turn water on & off if he wants (temporarily) and let him dip his fingers in the water. He may need to feel more in control. Mostly, keep showing him how nice and fun it is. Bath time should relax your kid. Excuse your hubby from this activity if you like but it would prob be better if he sat with you two and visited & helped, but not if it will cause tension. If it aint fun for you, it wont be fun for your baby or husband.

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I would retire your husband if he's yellig at him - that's probably going to make it worse. Just use a washcloth on him.

It's summer - get a kiddie pool and put 1 ich of water i there, and a few toys - not the ones from the bath tub. Then just go outside ad play with him ad see if he wats to get in. Don't make him chage his clothes or take them off - that may trigger the bath anxiety, just let him have FUN with the water, eve if he does't go ito the pool. MAKE IT BE FUN and let him CHOOSE whether he goes in. Maybe if he feels like he's in control a little, it will be fun for him. I would just drop the baths for now. Find a differet 30 minutes for yourself.

Good luck!

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V.R.

answers from Redding on

Things I tried:

Showering with him with one of you holding him==unless he still squirms.

Taking a bath with him and holding him between your legs. on your lap sort of.

Sitting him in the bath tub without water in it and pouring a cup of warm water over him, soap him up and rinse him off. Sometimes its just the water in the tub that scares them.

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D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter (our first child) was this way. It took me years to figure out that she is ultra sensitive to hot water. What feels to be a good temperature to me (and other kids she has bathed with), is too hot for her. Once I started making her baths lukewarm, she stopped fighting it. I guess it could be the reverse too. Maybe the water feels too cold to him?

Our third child didn't like baths as an infant either. I never did figure out what it was that he didn't like, he just suddenly outgrew it. I don't remember exactly what age he stopped crying during baths, but it was probably around his 1st birthday.

Good luck!

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A.E.

answers from Sacramento on

Have you ever taken a bath with him? I am also a working mom and I love taking baths with my 1 year old daughter. She loves it too. It is kind of our special time together or just time relaxing together before bed. Maybe you or your husband bathing with him would relax him a bit?

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S.P.

answers from Sacramento on

couple of sugguestions: have your husband get in the tub with your son. OR use the shower. again this can be done with an adult in the shower also. have you tried a hand held shower?
good luck

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L.,
How about your husband taking the bath with your son? It would be a nice bonding time for them as well. My late husband loved baths and would take our boys in there with him. I used to go too until the older one was about 5/6. It was a lovely time for all of us to be in the bath together. Try it and let me know if it works.
Good luck,
J.

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E.S.

answers from San Francisco on

L.,

I can empathise...and I got in the tub in my bathing suit and we ended up having a great bath time. I bet it wasn't but a month and my son ended up loving bath time. We had toys, snuggles and even popsicles in the tub. Try making it fun, not so stressful. I would give up the "Me" time to try and help your little guy. Have Daddy pick up something else...like putting him to bed, reading the stories etc...
Good Luck! Mom of 3 boys who all love baths and showers..but didn't always love them.

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M.P.

answers from Sacramento on

My son just turned a year and is doing the SAME EXACT thing!!! We try everything to play with him but he just wants to stand and get out of the tub and then slips and gets scared. We even bought a new non slip pad and he won't budge. We play with him and get in with him and he just wants out! He used to love baths but not anymore. But we know it's just another one of his "phases" - this too shall pass.
But he just graduated from swim class and that was a different story. There are things to look at, and Mom is holding on and it's a pool not a tub he can crawl out of. Every child will react differently but I wouldn't let the way he acts in the tub determine the way he'll act in the pool. You could always try! I forgot about showering with the little man, that is another good idea until the phase passes. Good luck and I'll be reading the responses you get also! God Bless.

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P.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Both my daughters (now 2.5 and 3.75) went through a sudden phase of despising their baths. No idea why. So take comfort that likely it'll pass. For the older one, we started just doing kind of a sponge bath while she was standing up. Made it real quick. Mainly our nanny did that when she bathed her. Then when I gave the bath, the only and best solution was for me to get in the bath too. That way I could hold them, they could sit on top of me etc. I did that quite a few times and eventually they both got over their fears. Your husband could try it (if he fits in the tub) but you may have to do it for a little while. Find something else maybe your husband can do for awhile so you get a break. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi! I read in my What to Expect When you are Expecting book that some kids suddenly develop a fear that they will slide down the drain with the water at between one year of age and two, I think. I dont know why I remembered it, but it seemed kind of far-fetched. Anyway, sounds like he's been doing this for long enough that he just is not crazy about the whole bath experience. Have you tried lots of different temperatures? My four year old daughter feels that water that is warmer than just a bit lukewarm is way too hot, and tells me it burns her skin. my almost two year old son screams that the same temp water is way too cold. They are so different that it makes me think there could be a temp issue with your boy without you knowing it. Is he a very warm or cold guy? My daughter goes to preschool wearing tank tops when it's forty degrees out, and sweats when I make her wear a jacket.
Also, an idea - is he too big for the kitchen sink? This may be a place he can start to trust water more so that he can learn to like water better.
Another idea - does he do ok in the shower? My son took a lot of showers his first year. I used to just hold him under the water with me and sort of soap him up at the same time. Works better with two people. :)
Good luck to you!

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C.U.

answers from Modesto on

Have you tried just giving him a shower with you? Our daughter has done that since she was 5 weeks old and it has worked great!

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M.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I can't say that these would work for sure, but these are a few suggestions I thought might help. My son likes the bath, but these are some extra special things he really likes.

1. Playtime in the tub. Maybe if you can do a little playtime in the tub when it isn't real bathtime, he would get used to it. My son loves to fingerpaint in the bath tub. Plus it's the cleanest place to do that.

2. A shower? Sometimes I will throw him in with my husband for a quick rinse off (or vice versa) and some like it better.

3. Have you tried getting in with him? As I am sure you know they are much better able to deal with something if they are comforted by a parent. Plus it's a lot easier to clean and get them to play, and enjoy it, if you are in there too.

Also, if your husband loses his temper, you probably should do it. I am sure that doesn't help.

Good Luck! Kids are tough :-)

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C.B.

answers from Stockton on

Sounds a bit like my son. He loved the bath when he was in his blow up tub, then we moved and in our new house I put him right into the tub...he HATES it or should I say Hated it and now better. I had to start bathing him in the kitchen sink again because he was having such a fit. I think that he hates the fact that there are doors on the tub and he is a little fish in a big pond without his little tub. Now that we do both the kitchen sink and the real tub he is much better. It still takes him a while to sit down but he will play with his toys and warm up to the bath. Good luck.

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Try giving him a shower. My son loves them. We sit him on the floor of the tub, with a towel underneath him, put his toys aroud him and let the shower head run. My son can control when he wants to be in the stream of water and when he does not want to, and play with his toys, we make it fun. Sometimes he gets cleaner than other times, but he's 2, what are you gonna do. Try hosing him off in the sink or fill up the sink like a mini bath and see how he does until he is more comfortable in a big tub.Never yell, he will associate it to a bad thing, and you will never get him in the bath. Tell your husband to calm down, he is only one years old and my guess is, your son is scared of your husband giving hin the bath if he is always being yelled at. It's hard, but he may be scared of something about the bath. Be patient and eventually he will grow out of it. Wishing you success and a peaceful bath time

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter hated baths at ages one, two, and three. We just sponged her off and occasionally (maybe twice a month) held her down to wash her hair amid screams. She would run under the sprinkler and sit in a kiddie pool in season, so that helped us feel like she was getting clean. She never smelled or anything with the sponge baths so we didn't worry about her not getting an immersion bath. I could sympathize as I'm afraid of water myself. Now, at four, she loves baths and even showers and we go swimming often. She just had to get used to water at her own pace.

I'd encourage you to keep searching for a bathing solution that works for everyone--even if it's no immersion baths! It doesn't sound relaxing for you to endure your child's screams in your "downtime," and it's certainly not fun for your husband or son. There is a solution out there for mutual satisfaction and you can find it! Let us know how it goes.

Best,
J.

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C.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't force your son to take baths. It's obviously a tramatic experience for everyone involved and continuing on this path is not productive for anyone. Consider alternatives like having him take showers with yourself and your husband or giving sponge baths.

You also mention bathing him nightly. Children should not bathe every night and doing so will only dry out his skin. Children don't sweat like adults so they don't need to bathe as frequently. At most, children can bathe every other night, unless they are extremely dirty.

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G.R.

answers from San Francisco on

We take bath/showers together and I usually let him play with water and try not to force him into the bathtub. I discovered that after a few mintues he goes into the bathtub by himself. And starting to go to the swimming pool with him improved his willing to have a bath at the house.

If I force him into the tub then is a disaster and he screams a lot!

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L.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like bath time has become about a power struggle. Why don't you let your husband take a break from this stressful activity? Back off a bit on the baths and only give him a full-on bath a couple of times a week. The other nights, use a damp washcloth. For full baths, be very quick and very neutral (I know it's hard, give it a shot). If you cry with your child, you're confirming that there's something dreadful going on. Just try being matter of fact: "It's bathtime, sweetie, I know it's not your favorite, but we'll be quick. Do you want the washcloth this time?" If he does take the washcloth, you can get one too. To speed things up, you can even get a handheld. (since he's already so miserable, my advice to you is to go for speed and not be too careful about getting water on his face while bathing -- it will make his life easier for later if he gets used to having water on his face.)
Sorry to be so long-winded; one last thing, try spending some time with water play in the back yard, even just a bin or two of water with fun pouring toys and graduate to a kiddie pool after a few weeks, but don't insist that he get in. Let him play on the edges if he wants.

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N.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Sorry to hear you are having such problems with bathtime. Your son seems to have a negative connotation with taking baths. It could be his dad getting angry or maybe it started with something else and has now become a stressful thing for him. Maybe you can switch with your husband on another activity, like feeding or playing earlier in the evening.

Your son is only 1 and is not capable of reason. He only knows what he has experienced. If he has had a bad time once and then it's been reinforced that is what he knows about bath time. To get him to like baths again, start with a sponge bath outside the bathtub but in the bathroom. Sing songs, let him take the cloth and wash his feet or his belly. Then after a few times when he has relaxed, introduce him to the bath again. Keep bathtime short and nonstressful.

Another idea is to take a bath with him. Sit in the tub with him and play with toys and soap. Everything is more fun with MOM!

Good luck to you. I know it can be stressful with an active child while you are also working and taking care of the home. Just take a breath and know that it is all worth it in the end. :-)

Cheers!

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H.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Have you tried having your husband get in the bath and then you bring in your son to him and have them take that bath "togther". Maybe if you do this a few times and they play some sort of game in the tub maybe even those Tub Crayons so they can draw on each other.

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N.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

Have you thought about taking him in the shower with you?? My son didn't take a bath for about 8 months because he liked showering with dad. This way they get to play together, wash and have fun. When your son is cleaned up YOU can get him out and get him dressed and spend a few minutes together while your husband finishes up. My son loved this and my daughter is loving it too. She is 11 months and she just started taking baths because she wants to be in the tub with her brother. Before that, I showered with her and she played with the water while I washed her. Just a thought, good luck to you and family

N.

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M.G.

answers from Modesto on

Awww.... poor little guy! =(
Have you tried one of those handheld showerheads that has a hose on one end? Maybe hook one of those up and give him a "shower" with it with only a little water in the tub at a time. Each week, fill the tub a little bit more until he is ok with being submerged in the water. If he feels intimidated even with just a little water in the tube, maybe start without water in it at all, and go from there. Also, be sure to have some non-slip stuff on the bottom of the tub so if he does get up, he won't slip and bonk his head.

And as for swimming, maybe give it a try, but if he does not want to go into the pool, well, you know what to do. ^.-
But if he enjoys going into the pool, maybe he will start enjoying bath time too.

Good Luck!

M. *~

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H.L.

answers from San Francisco on

try showering with him.

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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hi L.!

Oh Gosh, I remember those days! I remember having to "warn" my neighbors....."I give my boys a bath 7pm, so if you hear any screaming, it's probably just Bath Time" :o) After the first night of screaming, they were glad I "warned them", because it does sound bad if any windows are open!

I ended up having my husband install a Kitchen Faucet with a "squirter" for a "shower". This way we could pretend that we were at the Haircut Place. I layed towels on the counter, and rolled a towel up to use a "pillow". This made hairwashing alot faster, and controlled the amount of water that went in their eyes.

This time of year, it's the hair that's most important, because they can always go swimming to replace a "bath" until he has a break from the tears.

I'm not sure why kids go through this around this age, but BOTH my boys did, and most of my neighbor kids did. I remember last summer when I heard "screams" to doors away, it was "Katie getting her bath" :o)

Anyway, you just try to figure out a way that works for your son :o)

Good Luck!

Love, N. :o)

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S.E.

answers from San Francisco on

Try showers. My daughter loved taking a shower. I lowered the hand-held device and she used to sit on a towel in the bottom of the shower. I'd hand her the hand-held and she's spray the place.

She did not like having her face washed. That was the big deal for her, so we save that for last, just before she gets out. Now that she is older, she takes charge of washing and I just monitor. (We started that at 3)

Maybe the water is too hot for him? Maybe he associates the tub with feeling unstable (slipping and sliding), or water in eyes is the issue?

Good luck,
Stephanie

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B.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Does he have a problem with swimming pools as well or a baby pool? he could have an allergy, yes an allergy, to water. There could be something going on with his skin that makes this painful.

Get to a specialist,not your pediatrician, and get him checked out.
Good Luck.

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N.L.

answers from Fresno on

Hi L.,

Sorry to hear bath times are such a struggle. Sounds like your son is afraid of the bath (especially if he get so upset he is throwing up). Maybe you can try bathing WITH him, so he realizes nothing is going to happen to him with you there. If he still doesn't like it, try the shower. Either way, make it as calm of an experience as possible. Maybe put on some background noise he likes (ie CD of his favorite music) so it won't seem so loud in the bath.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck.

N.

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J.W.

answers from Stockton on

I am so sorry to hear about your issues with the bath. I actually started with a bath chair and when he could stand up and walk we moved o the bath without it and he instantly wanted to get out and was nervous to even sit down. not crying but still didnt know what to do. the one thing was he gets a bath almost everynight he doesnt fall asleep before bath time...trying to be consistent and have a routine is what most kids desire.

maybe going to the target store and leting him pick out a toy for the bath and then put it in the bath might be more excting for him....also what i think was our turning point ws i got in the bath with him and he sat on my lap and played with me in the tub, he was much better doing the bath on his own and sits in the tub now.

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R.U.

answers from Sacramento on

Forget the baths, give a shower. We had the shower head with the hose attachment and began giving our children baths around 2-3 years because I was having serious back pain and hey, it's a lot faster! You say your son is only 1 so you may need to wait until he is really stable on his feet.
As for swimming, take your son to the pool this summer and don't expect him to get in the water. Let him see how much fun other kids are having. You & your husband take turns getting in the water without asking your son to go. He'll soon see that he is being "left out" of the fun and want to try. It may take several trips and it may not at all. I seriously feel your pain as my son has a mind of his own--I just have to find out ways to make it seem like it's his idea.
Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Have you tried bathing with him? Our kids didn't love baths much either, but when dad got in the tub with them they thought it was great. It might help ease the transition to bathing by himself if he sees it as a positive bonding experience with dad. Hope you find something that works!

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N.D.

answers from San Francisco on

My suggestion is to remember that the bathtub is big shiny echoing place that is probably a little scary to your son. Have you tried clearing out the kitchen sink and bathing him there where he might be nearer to you and closer to your arms? My daughter doesn't like baths either but the only way my husband has been getting through it is to sit down at her level, and let her play and sing songs for like 10 minutes first. It took a couple of weeks but she started to relax around the tub and not be so tense. It sounds like your son can tell that the bath tub is a scary tense place. Try and lighten the mood some.

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C.L.

answers from Fresno on

I would try a M. and me swim class. I started swim lessons with my daughter at 13 months and she cried the entire 1st class (very stressful). The 2nd class she didn't cry, but was still bervous. The 3rd class on she would jump in to me from the side. She now loves being in any kind of water. This might help with bathing and teach him how to swim also.

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S.F.

answers from Bakersfield on

my son was like this for a while and still sometimes fights the bath. i think about that age he recognized the bed time routine and started fighting it. but he LOVES going to the pool, so, don't let the bath deture you from going swimming. but when he used to fight at bath times we tried the shower(which was worse!), and getting in with him (which helped but you can't always do that.) what really helped for us was changing the time when he had his bath. we started giving it to him in the mornings after breakfast, and that really helped. i think he was just too tired for a bath after dinner. and we did that for quite a few months. now he's nearly 2 he can has baths at night again. and i know that bath time is your ME time but it's not much quality time with a screaming child and husband. so, if you take over bath time and give your husband another 'evening job' like meals or story time. that can give you the quality ME time that you so rightly disearve. good luck and hth.

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S.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi There. We have had the same issue with our daughter. It really started right before she turned 1. Nothing bad happened, she just started hating her baths. Vey similar to what you explained. After she turned 1, we started swim lessons. She hated it at first, but by the end was really starting to like it. I noticed after her second class that all of a sudden, she was fine in her bath. It was almost as she was scared of the water and the swim lessons helped her cope with it. Then the next year, getting close to her second birthday (it's in May) she was starting to hate baths again. And as usual, we started the summer off with swim lessons and again she is fine with the bath again. So much so that she swims in the bath on her tummy like she is swimming in a pool and practices her kicks, bubbles and holding her breath.

Maybe try swim lessons, its worth a shot!

S.

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Try getting in the bath with him. Maybe if he sees that you can do it too, it won't be so bad for him. Just a thought.....

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A.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi L., It can be very frustrating for the whole family when our babies don't enjoy something. My oldest was the same. This is what worked for us. Before she was 2 I would get in the shower and hold her the whole time and give her a shower with me. It made her feel safe and she was still a little nervous but the tears stopped. My husband would stand at the shower door with a towel telling her he was right there and he would take her out as soon as she was done. That worked for a while. When she was about 2 1/2, I would put on my bathing suit and get in the tub with her. She thought it was the best thing in the whole world (Show him it's ok to splash eachother) and have fun. She actually started asking to take baths! You will be surprised how much this will help. I know moms need to have our ME time, but you may have to take that at another time of the night, for a little while anyway. Swimming will fall into place once he sees water as fun. A.

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A.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi L.,
I have a 16 month old little girl who has gone back and forth from loving to hating baths. When she was really little we would wash her in the kitchen sink, then as she got older we put her in the tub in a bath chair and she hated it. I tried taking her out of the chair and she still hated it. I eventually put her back in the kitchen sink and she loved it again. I think she just wasn't ready for the large tub yet and it scared her. Eventually she outgrew the sink and I had to put her back in the tub. This time I made sure to make the bath very shallow so she would feel safe and it worked. As she's gotten older I have been able to fill the tub higher,but still never past her belly button.
As for swimming, if you find that he responds the same way to a pool as he does his bath it might tell you that he's afraid of water, but if he doesn't than I would guess that he just doesn't like the washing part of the baths. It might be a good experiment to give you some more information since he can't tell you yet what's upsetting him. If it is the washing part he dislikes you might try making up a rub scrub silly kind of song that you can sing to make him laugh while you do it. Just a suggestion.

Good luck!

A. R

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