T.M. asks from Plano, TX on September 15, 2007
Baby Shower Question...
What is the etiquette on baby showers for a second baby. I'm pregnant with my second little girl. (my girls will only be 21 months apart) My mom is wanting to throw me a shower, but she's not sure if it's proper to do so. 1-she's my mom and 2-the little girls will be so close together it feels like we just had a shower
Thanks in advance for your input/advise!
2 moms found this helpful
So What Happened?™
Thank you so much for all of your input! We don't need much at all for this little one, and honestly the only reason I would want a shower is to celebrate her arrival and to have pics for her scrapbook! (I know that's silly, but there are 4 pages of shower pics for my first!) I don't want anyone to feel obligated to buy more presents, so I really love the celebration party idea with the no presents note. Thank you again for your help!
T.C. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
I've been to several 2nd baby showers.
Some of which were themed parties.
ex. Diaper party (coupons, packages of diapers in all size ranges)
Book Theme (tea party): bookshelf, variety of books for the parents to read to the child etc.
there are other ideas too... but these were ones I know the parents loved.
A.M. answers from Dallas on September 15, 2007
That's hard question because you're having another girl -- so you already have a good a collection of baby girl clothes. But I believe that every birth is a celebration -- so perhaps this time around it can be a "baby diaper party" where guests bring "just the necessities" that are soooo important and wonderful to have as a new mom.
We've thrown diaper parties and called it that on the invitation -- instructed guests to give baby essential items like baby shampoo, diaper rash cream, diapers, wipes, etc.
I've also attended book-themed baby showers...where guests only give their favorite children's book to help start the baby's library. This is fun to see which books people love to give for the baby. so cute!
L.M. answers from Dallas on September 15, 2007
Technically, you're only supposed to have a shower for your first child. Some exceptions are....big time gap between last baby and new baby or last baby was one gender and the new baby is another (that one is still a little "iffy") or someone who is financially challenged and maybe needs a little help. It doesn't sound you fall into any of these categories. When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, my girlfriends at church wanted to throw a shower and I wouldn't let them but instead I suggested a girl's lunch to celebrate the coming of the new baby--nothing fancy. Sometimes that's all that you really want is to celebrate with your friends & family. Hope this helps.
1 mom found this helpful
A.T. answers from Little Rock on September 16, 2007
I too think every baby should have a shower wether it be before or after they are born as each one is reason for celebration and I see nothing wrong with your mom throwing you the shower. If you don't want a typical baby shower there is a freezer shower where everyone brings a meal that freezes well along with the reciepe in lieu of gifts to stock your freezer with meals for when the baby is born. (TRUST me, I JUST had my 2nd and meals are even MORE helpful to have when you are adjusting to having 2 exp when close in age.) Or you can have a diapers and wipes shower. :) Congrats either way!
1 mom found this helpful
A.K. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
I guess I am different than the rest of the group...I think EVERY baby deserves his/her own baby shower! It is such a blessing and miracle to have a baby. It is a time to celebrate the new life that is coming into your home! Plus, I was amazed by two things with my second - 1. There is still a lot of stuff that you need that you probably don't have 2. OH MY GOSH - the improvements and NEW fun things that have come out since you had your first! I have two boys, but we decorated COMPLETELY differently for them. Even the paint colors were different. My husband though I was crazy, but as you can tell, I was a second child - and EVERYTHING was a hand-me-down! I didn't want that for my boys. Now, that is not to say that I bought every single thing new, but I did buy some new things. It doesn't have to be an elaborate shower, but I still think that you should have one. Do a diaper shower (God knows that we can't have too many of those!) or just a scaled back cocktail hour shower. Whatever you do - allow everyone to celebrate with you! And most importantly, congratulations! It sounds like you are going to have the best Thanksgiving gift ever! (Also, on a different note...because you are expecting around the holidays - make sure that you take care of holiday stuff WAY in advance. I also had my second around the holidays and I think it is a very delicate adjustment for your first born. Perhaps you can even ask for holiday help versus gifts! It was very difficult to have a baby around the holidays because there is already so much to do - Christmas cards, gifts, shopping, etc. and your elves that helped out with your first are more than likely bisy doing holiday stuff! Just a word of caution - I wasn't prepared for the lack of people able to help - and it is WAY more difficult when you have one at home already!) Have fun and enjoy your little gift!
1 mom found this helpful
H.B. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
I know for sure my mom would say that when they are that close together no shower. My mom's in her 50's and Im in my 30's and none of my friends have had shower for second child. So I would have to agree with my mom. I think its kind of tacky. But I have read the other posts. And a welcome party sounds great!! But I would not ask for gifts, especially when they are both girls and very close together. You got to think of it on the other side. You just had a shower with you first a little less than 2 years ago. And your going to be inviting them to all their birthday party's....there's just so much gift asking you can do!! Sorry Im a straight shooter, im not trying to affend anyone..just my personal opinion.
J.R. answers from Dallas on September 17, 2007
My friend had two girls 17 months apart. She didn't want a traditional shower for the second, but the ladies in our Bible study threw a surprise one for her anyways. She did appreciate getting diapers and a few new clothes for the little one.
Her family did a "Welcome the New Baby" open house at her house a month or two after the baby was born. This way, family and friends got to come and see the new baby and hold her, eat some snacks and cake, and some people brought gifts too. So she was able to get the photos of the new one being celebrated and got some new gifts, without the ackwardness of having a whole second baby shower.
I loved that idea and plan on doing that with our next one. :)
N.S. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
When I had my 4th child (due at the same time my other kids were born), my friends had a "shower" for me at Super Suppers, a meal preparation place. Everyone came and bought and prepared meals for their families, and then gave one of them to me to take home. We took home about 18 meals total, and it was so great to have them there when we wanted them. Also, our friends also had meals that they took home, so it was a good situation for everyone. We had the place to ourselves and they brought wine and a cake and it was more like a party. I really enjoyed it and so did my friends. It was also nice to do it that way b/c then I didn't have to worry about coordinating meals that people brought to us when the baby was born.
T. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
I was pregnant with my second daughter last year at this time and I had a friend ask me about giving me a shower. I declined because it really is not proper etiquette to have a shower for the second baby. However, some of my friends got together and threw me a surprise party that was a "stock the staples" party to stock up on diapers, baby wash, lotion, shampoo, diaper cream, etc. Wonderful idea!! Because I had saved all the clothes, toys and baby gear from the first child I already had all of these things. My baby is now 8 months old and I STILL have baby shampoo, lotion and diaper cream from the shower. The diapers were used quickly! This is a round about way of saying that people like to celebrate the birth of another baby - no matter where it falls in the birth order. He/she shouldn't be any less significant because he/she isn't the first. I was so grateful for all of the staples, and it was so much fun to see so many of friends together to celebrate this new baby. Congratulations!
J.K. answers from Dallas on September 16, 2007
Every baby deserves a celebration!! I have had three little ones and even if they are so close together, new stuff comes out on the market every year. As far as your mom throwing you a shower, if she wants to I don't see an etiquette problem with it. She should though see if some of your friends would like to help out with it and therefore, relieving her of all of the duties so that she can enjoy the shower also as Grandma.