What Are Your Thoughts on Having a Baby Shower When You Already Have One Child?

I am also due to have my second child (a boy) in Dec. My first (a girl) is now 4 years old. I am throwing my daughter a "big sister" party instead of having a shower myself. I am asking everyone to bring a gift to help her get ready to be a big sister. They are also welcome to bring a gift for the baby. I did register (mostly for clothes, bottles, etc) but I still have all the big stuff from my DD. You could also have a diaper shower. Just have everyone bring diapers in all different sizes since you don't need any big stuff. Congrats on your coming bundle of joy!!!

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My SIL was in the same quandary as you. She still had a lot of stuff from her first baby and didn't feel like she really needed anything, but was getting some pressure from outsiders. What we ended up doing was having a tea party at a local tea house with a bunch of girl friends, and it was a gift card party. The desired stores were spread by word of mouth, and everyone showed up with gift cards to the different places, where she was able to buy things like diapers and bottles and a few fun things. We had a blast and it was a great way for her to stock up on consumables that she had used up with the first baby.

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I agree, for children past the first, don't have a baby shower. You could do a diaper/wipes dinner. All gifts are different size diapers and/or packages of wipes, and instead of the cake and cookies you could have a dinner. Nothing fancy, but little finger foods. I had something similar for my second and my sister is about to have the same for her third!

Congrats and good luck!

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I'm with you - you don't need another, and it's certainly not grandma's place to throw it. My babies were 4-1/2 years apart and different genders, so we had a celebration for baby thrown by my sisters. What you might do is have a "diaper party" - everybody bring a package of diapers and have a good time celebrating the new baby. If they want to get you a gift, that's great, but I wouldn't register necessarily. That's a good compromise. And don't forget to include big brother.

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Of course you don't need another baby shower. I was the exact same way. You don't have to do anything! However, I'll suggest something which you may not have heard of, not as a way to appease your mother but to celebrate with friends if that is what you choose to do. It's called a BLESSINGWAY and its origin is Native American. The mother-to-be (of any pregnancy, not only first-timers) is surrounded by her friends for a celebration of her power to give life. The women gather together and give their "positive energy" to the expecting mama so that she'll know that she has their support in her upcoming journey of delivering her baby. It doesn't have to be granola, as someone might say, or it can be....you gather, talk, uplift the mama, eat, enjoy being together and celebrate motherhood. The presents from each person coming could be inspiring words, written or not, and as each person shares it in the circle, she adds a bead to a homemade bracelet given to the mother at the end of the night....it's really the memories and love you're giving her (and when it's sincere, it means much more than another cute baby outfit). Each person can leave with a candle and then when the mother begins labor, someone tells all the rest and they light their candles and keep them burning until the baby arrives. I know there's more Native American tradition which I can't remember, but you can google it. I think it's pretty cool because you can do a Blessingway however you want, but it's an alternative to a wrapped-present-focused baby shower. All the best as you enjoy this chapter in your life!

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Congratulations S.,
Where I come from you only have one baby shower.
To have a second seems selfish.
Your mother is overstepping and needs to realize that if your friends are your true friends then they will buy you a gift for your second son when he arrives. It is not possible to take gift giving joys away from a friend, but it is possible to alienate friends by expecting a gift at a 'shower' thrown by your mother.
If you are in need of specific things that you failed to ask for the first time around then simply asks your friends for those items instead of unneeded clothes.
God Bless
Hope you have many more boys (and or girls) and a happy and healthy delivery !!

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I'm a lot older than you, a great-grandmother, and in "my day" you only had showers for the first one, but times have changed and it is not unusual to have a second shower,just don't make it a big grandious affair. They're always coming out with new things that they didn't have even two years ago and people love to buy them. You used the term "first son" so I assume that the second one is a boy too. If it's a girl,then you definately want a shower. Your mother is correct about family members not hosting showers, except if it's a family only event. Congatulations on your coming event.

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i read the other responses - and i think the "sip and see" suggestion is the best. I am 54 yrs old - and I was taught the following about baby/wedding showers: immediate close relatives should not host them (ie: parents, sisters) and when it comes to baby showers - you have them for only the first child. Years ago the purpose of a shower was to shower a friend with gifts to "help them out" as young couples and young parents were just getting started and needed so many things.

Nowadays - i am invited to showers and gift registries to provide every whim for the recipient - and i personally feel it is in very bad taste.

the "Sip and see" is a great way for others to see the baby - and as mentioned, some friends will want to bring a gift regardless - but it wont be expected - as for a shower.

In my opinion, when a second child is a different sex than the first child, then you can have a "finally a girl/boy" shower that would focus on the clothing unique to the sex of the baby - and things that you would not already have.

I agree that the fun lies in getting together and celebrating life - and I think the "sip and see" idea more closely aligns to that premise.

congratulations on a growing family!

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Why don't you suggest just a diapers and wipes shower (God knows they can be quite expensive) and the people closest to you can buy whatever they feel like buying you. Do you have any siblings? I threw both my sisters a shower and am now hosting one for my husband's niece. It is now perfectily exceptable for family to do it. Every child should have a shower to welcome them I think. If you are just not comfortable with one you could always wait until the baby is born and have a meet the new baby shower. But don't forget your other son. You and your parents should buy him a couple of things so he won't feel left out. I have three children and we did special things with the two oldest when we had a new baby.

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The reason most people think it is OK to have a second shower is because etiquette is dead these days.

I am not old fashioned but was raised by a Mom who was a stickler about stuff like this.

Even the advice columns in the newspaper or books on these topics clearly say it is in poor taste and never to be thrown by a family member.

Your friends are NOT going to tell you but you will have friends who forked out money and gifts for your first shower and they will resent having to do it again. Especially friends with no kids (I do have kids). These guys get hit up for baptisms, showers, holidays and birthdays and when they don't have kids of their own, I think they resent the expectation for more.

Go with your first instinct.
REMEMBER.....IF THEY WANT TO BUY YOU GIFTS THEY WILL. But this way your aren't forcing them to.

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HI S.,,,,
sure you can have 2 but your family can to it thats no biggy so get out the party stuff
cood luck L.

I myself do not agree with having more than one baby shower cause of tradition... i have 2 boys only 21 months apart and now I am expecting my 3rd that will be 21 months apart from my second boy... I have a feeling if this one turns out to be a girl wether I want one or not my MIL and Husband will plan me a baby shower. I feel that if someone wants to plan this for you let them just do not expect a very big turn out and understand it is what it is. People usually complain about anything that takes up a few hours on a Saturday and Sunday anyway even if it is your first baby shower

It is still okay to have a second baby shower, just don't register at target or anything. This is basically a little party for you to fill you up with the necessities and cute outfits. not really big stuff. But a second shower is great!

I think your right your not suppose to have a second baby shower. I mean theres always stuff that you could use like diapers, onesies, bath shampoo and lotions. I got lost of stuff for our unborn baby at Christmas which supprised me! But your mil is also right the family isnt suppose to host. If your friends want to throw you a supprise baby shower go, smile and have fun. If not tell your mil that you dont want one nor are your going to pressure your friends into having one. sounds like your mil is a pill! Hope you can build a better relationship and communicat better. But I also think my shower advice is old fashioned like no white shoes after labor day kind of thing. Now people do what ever they want. Congrats on the new baby.

Three words for you:

Diapers and Dishes

We ALL know that lots of diapers are invaluable, and can get rather pricey, and you could also have your friends each make a dish that is frozen and reheats well for after your bundle arrives. Just be sure they bring the recipe along with it. ;-)

Congrats!
M.

Go ahead and have one. I did for my second....but he is a boy vs. my first is a girl. One of my friends that has 2 boys, she had a "book" shower. We all bought her new books for the baby. Or have one themed on necessities like diapers, wipes, etc. Let your family and friends celebrate the arrival of your new baby!

I totally agree with some of the suggestions that you've already received. Have a diaper shower ALL sizes. You can NEVER have too many diapers!

Best Wishes and most of all Have Fun!

S..
www.ohsobella.com

Hi S.,
I feel that a baby shower isnt all about gifts. But also about sharing your joy with your friends. If that makes sense? But of course, gifts are great too....LOL You say you have everything from your first child. What about diapers? We all know theyre awfully expensive and not getting any cheaper. Formula, new bottles? How about that new set of clothing to come home in from the hospital? Blankets, sheets? The list goes on and on. Let them throw you a shower. Your friends just want to share in your joy.

Good luck and congradulations on your upcoming arrival.

J.

For my second shower (which I really didn't think was necessary) my friends gave me a "Mommy's Shower" which meant that all the gifts were for me! That was fun. I got a massage, a pretty pj, some nice soaps etc. Maybe that is an option.?

I also think who ever throws the shower should be a willing participant and is not made to feel that they MUST do it.

I agree. Diaper showers have become the norm for baby #2.

I would want the baby shower any ways. They just want the joy of sharing this expierence with you.it'll be fun just let them do it!!!!

Congrats!
I believe that baby showers are to welcome the new one into the world..not necessarily to get gifts. If it would make you feel better, have the shower and donate the gifts to a woman's shelter.
Good Luck...

My playgroup has always had showers for all the pregnant moms (even 3rd babies!), but we usually called it a diaper shower, which was great because diapers and wipes were things we all needed even for a 3rd baby! That also didn't stop people from buying other stuff, too, but that kind of takes the 'stigma' off of having a shower for a 2nd baby.

A shower is always nice, clothes get stained and worn out fast with little ones. However make it one that the men can come to also, and have a couples party. Remember he was part of this occasion also. It will be fun, there are games like dressing up to go to the hospital that both can play. etc. Have fun and let everyone that wants to come, come. This is a time to have some fun with friends.

I have a 2 year old son & I'm pregnant with my second boy. I had a shower this past weekend. I kept a lot of stuff from my son but there were some things I got rid of or like the bassinet came back (lent out) broken. But even if you don't need anything like that you can always have a diaper shower. Since you already have one child you know that you can never get too many diapers!

For my first baby, I had four baby showers hosted by friends, family, and co-workers.

Four years later, a good friend of mine gave me a "Sip and See" baby shower after my 2nd daughter (2nd child) was born. This was the first time I heard of a "Sip and See". This event was a great way to introduce the new baby to my group of friends, who I highly enjoy spending time with. I didn't expect any gifts since I already had everything from baby #1 but friends brought gifts on their own accord - it's a pleasure they enjoy and is always optional - never forced.

I am expecting baby #3 any day now and another good friend wants to give me a baby shower (or a combo mommy pampering/baby shower). Since the baby's sex will be a surprise, we decided to hold this event after the baby is born so we are shooting for mid-November. Again, I don't expect any gifts. The main purpose is to bring all my friends together to enjoy my new bundle of joy. I already have two girls so I don't need any girl clothing plus I still have all the other necessities such as crib, bassinet, bouncy seat, etc. If I have a boy, then the girls clothes (other than the neutral colored onesies) wouldn't work but I don't expect anything. If someone pings me on what I would truly need, I would say diapers and baby wipes (I am just too practical).

The main thing to keep in mind is that these events are not about what gifts you will be receiving, but it gives friends and family the opportunity to get together and enjoy visiting with you and the baby, and just have good ole' friendship time together.

As a Christian, Jesus said that life is not meant to be spent alone but with community. If you keep this in mind and exclude what is considered "the right thing or not the right thing to do", then your mind will be much more at ease.

Hope this helps!
K.

I second the diaper shower. My boys are 17 months apart and my friends did that for me. I got a few new things which was nice to have that were specifically for my second son. You don't realize it as much until you have two, but just because I have two boys their preferences are very different.

Have another baby shower...I have 3 kids and had 3 baby showers. The toys and technology change quite a bit in 1 year to 2 years time. OR if you do not want a baby shower now wait until after the baby is born and have a "welcome baby shower". That way you can introduce your new bundle of joy to everyone and they can shower him with love and gifts. Let me tell you that you can never have to many diapers as gifts! NOW calling someone and telling them to throw a shower for you I consider a little rude and inappropriate to do. If your Mom wants you to have a baby shower have her call one or more of the friends for HELP organizing one TOGETHER, not to make them throw you one. Best of luck and congratulations!

I don't think it's appropriate for anyone to ask someone else to host a shower. If they want to host it then they will decide that on their own. I have never heard that family members aren't supposed to host showers. My sister hosted my baby shower. Also, I find it very inappropriate to have a baby shower for a second baby so close to the first. People will bring you gifts when they come to see the baby after the birth.

Second showers (and thirds, etc.) are usually inappropriate, especially if you plan to invite the same people. They already helped you start your family. That's what it is for. My MIL wanted to do this for me too. I told her it felt wrong to me and made me very uncomfortable. Then, I read (more than once) in magazines asking the same question. They all said it wasn't really appropriate. If it's a new crowd - or that's just what you're family has always done and everyone's expecting it? Or your youngest is 16 and you have nothing anymore, maybe. Otherwise, people still give you gifts when they want to - they just don't feel obligated to because they were invited to a shower. People still gave me gifts with my other children. But, most don't.

I think you should have one! It sounds to me like you are one tired mama and one more thing is just too much. But people want to bless you and to give your new little one some new things. A few new fresh clothes, some diapers, bottles etc. shouldn't cause too much trouble. Just go and register for fun stuff since you have all the big stuff and let grandma and your friends dote on you and your new little one. It will be fun! Congratulations on your new little baby :)
p.s. I didn't know anything about the rule that family can't host, my mom and mother--n-law hosted my shower so I think it is fine for your mil to host if she wants to, especially since this shower will be low key :)

Instead of another shower (since your babies are very close in age) how about a sip and see (a meet and greet party) after your new little one is born to give people the chance to meet him. Then people can bring a gift without necessarily feeling obligated to do so like at a shower.

I'm still sad that I didn't have a shower for my second child. Unfortunately, no one offered to have one, and it saddened me that no one thought enough of my second child to offer. There was 5 years between my two boys, so many things I had with my first had been given away to family and friends before #2 came along. But even more than that, it's the celebration of a new child, not the gifts, that makes a shower so wonderful. EVERY child should receive a shower to celebrate this incredible, once-in-a-lifetime event. The joy is not diminished just because they didn't come first. :)

First off, congratualations on your growing family. Since you already have all the baby equipment, and plenty of boy clothes, may I suggest having a diaper shower? My daughter had one for her second little girl, and it was great. Her guests had the opportunity to get together for fun, and to bless her with needed items like diapers, baby wipes, and breast pads. It's a nice way to celebrate your baby's upcoming birth, without the expense involved in giving traditional baby shower gifts. It also helps out with one of your big expenses by setting you up with plenty of the consumable items you'll need.

baby showers are more of a celebration of new life........not free stuff, which is why i don't think its tacky, i'm pregnant now, but my daughter is almost 6 and i have since given everything away, so my recent baby shower was a lifesaver. This time around i did the whole thing differently, it was more grown up, and i am happy to have had the experience twice.

A good friend of mine was in the same boat -- and decided to have a "baby sprinkle" instead of a full blown shower. She said that your presence was present enough for the celebration, but if you really wanted to get something - diapers, wipes and a few other necessities were needed.

Or, perhaps request that friends and family bring their favorite children's book to build your kid's libraries... or that they come for the celebration and bring a book or toy to donate to a local shelter??

i WOULD SAY YES HAVE ONE.... IF YOU HAVE EVERYTHING... SEND INVITATIONS WITH SUGGESTION... DIAPERS... WIPES.. BABY SHAMPOO.. THINGS YOU KNOW U WILL NEED... I HAVE 5 CHIDREN.. ALL GROWN NOW BUT HAD A SHOWER WITH EACH ONE...BLESSINGS...gYPSY

Since you already have most everything, why don't you have a diaper/wipes shower. That way all your friends can celebrate with you. That's what we did with one of our friends who also had everything and didn't think it was right to have another. It was a surprise shower and she loved the diaper and wipes theme, (things she actually needed) hope this helps. M.

I am the same. Have a 17 month old son and expecting in December a baby girl. It does feel awkward because you don't want to seem like you expect gifts after already being blessed with so much from the previous child. I have asked several of my friends their opinion and they all say that if someone wants to do it, let them!! So, I am going to do just that. Good luck and congratulations!!

S.,

Personally, I think a shower for each child is great! It's a celebration of an upcoming new miracle and time for joy & fellowship! I have 2 children and was given showers for both. I appreciated everyone's thoughtfulness. I've never heard of the only one shower is appropriate & that family members shouldn't throw it. I do think being that you specifically stated you didn't want a shower, your Mom should honor your wishes. If someone else offers to throw one for you, that's great and accept their thoughtfulness, but I don't think your Mom should go "fishing" for someone to host it. Your friends will bestow gifts whether there's a shower or not, if they choose to do so.

Best Wishes & Congratulations!

My friend through a second shower and called it a BABY SPRINKLE for one of our good friends!!! I thought it was so cute. Most people brought things like diapers and clothes...but do celebrate your second child.

A lot of my friends w/ 2nd or 3rd babies have had a diaper shower. You always need those! :) Or another great idea if you're into scrapbooking... or even if you're not but have a friend who is: Have a baby book scrap party. Let all of your friends/family make a page for the baby's scrapbook. Then you can just go back and add pics later.

You could request a diaper shower or a casserole shower. These showers are cheaper to put on and you get items you will use. I would only invite very close friends and family.

Casserole shower - people bring you the recipe and the casserole frozen with instructions on how to heat up.

My sister didn't have one for her second. Once the baby arrived friends and family sent gifts.

Hi S.,
Congratulations on your second baby! Our church always throws a shower for the second baby. We call it a diaper shower and people bring essentials like diapers and diaper cream and usually a few outfits. Even though you still have everything from the last baby it is always nice to get diapers and a few new things. It always works out really well even if the person is having a baby of the same sex. I hope this helps.

We just recently had a couple of diapers and wipes parties for some expecting ladies in our Sunday school. We called them sprinklings instead of showers. I don't think it is tacky or in bad manners to have another party of some sort celebrating the birth of your child. There have and will be 8 children born this year in our class and each one is getting a party whether it is a first, second, or third child! If people want to do this for you, just let them. It is always fun to just sit around and chat and eat some cake!

I think that having a second shower is fine if your friends want to give you one. Every child needs to be celebrated. You could just have a diaper and wipes shower or you could ask everyone to bring only a small gift and then have a donation box set up at the shower and give all the donations to the pregnancy help center.

I totally think you should have one. There will always be things that you need that you won't think much about until your baby gets here. You can still register for items, you just leave off the things you have. You will always need clothes and diapers and travel kits, first aid kits, etc. Plus you don't want to start now of your second son only getting hand-me-downs. It's still ok to do handmedowns but this baby should have a few of his own outfits that he's the first to wear. Plus friends enjoy being a part of the shower and getting to the shopping for a new baby. I had a boy and any time a friend would have a baby shower for a girl I went all out. Same when my son strating getting older and was more of a big boy than a baby. If there was a new baby coming I got to buy the little socks and clothes etc. You should definitely have a shower.
Have Fun,
M.

For my second son, my sisters threw me a diaper shower. All I got was diapers and wipes. What a blessing not to have to buy them! I was set with the clothes from my first son and now the diapers. It was a lot of fun too. I had my son a month early and got home from the hospital 4 days before the shower, so everyone got to see the baby that they were bringing diapers for.

Just tell your friends/family not to buy you anything big since you still have everything from your last pregnancy. You can never have too many diapers/wipes. Maybe some personalized gifts would be nice. Or you could have a mommy shower. Everyone could get you something to pamper yourself with or give you "coupons" for cleaning or meals while your in the hospital or when you get home. Hope I've been of some use to you. Congrats and good luck.

I had one as my first was a girl and second a boy and I was very leery, as are you. I don't think that having one is bad, but just be prepared for not as many people to show up. Granted, we didn't invite as many people, but I don't think it seems like as big of a deal to others when it's your second.

Although to me it seems presumptuous to ask someone to throw you a shower instead of throwing it herself, I know lots of people who have a shower every time they have a baby :)
I think it's just an excuse to have a party, and that can be fun. Also your friends probably want to opportunity to celebrate this baby too. If you don't really need a lot of stuff you could always register for fun stuff like clothes (is this baby a different sex than the first?) or maybe for nursery decor, or treats for mommy... (day spa gift card?)
Anyway, it's just my opinion, but if people want to have a party for you... why wouldn't you?

I'm in the minority, but I think that it's not appropriate. If you just want to have a party, that's different; but to actually ask for gifts for a same-sex baby so soon after the first is tacky. It's like you're asking people to fund your decision to have a baby...every time. Those who want to buy you something will, anyway, but an actual shower is a no-no. When you're pregnant with a girl, you should have one, or if you wait several years to have one.... Back-to-back (couple of years apart)same-sex bebies only get one shower. Sorry.

You could let them give you a shower where everyone brings a meal to put in the freezer so you don't have to cook much after the baby is born. Another idea is a diaper shower where everyone brings a pack of diapers and wipes. These are something every mommy needs!

I did have a friend who wanted to throw a shower for our second child because she thought each child needed a picture for the baby book & I thought this was a good idea at the time...but honestly it was weird receiving gifts at a baby shower when we had so much...We didn't have any other showers after this because we really didn't want to seem like we were asking for stuff since we were pregnant again...That's not the reason we were having babies...to get things...rather, we had folks over and had a party a month or so after the birth (usually about the time we baptized the newborn) and some folks brought food and gifts when the babies were born and we put these pictures in the baby book.
Just let your friends know that you'd love to have them bring a meal by and visit after the baby is born and this would be enough of a showering of love for you. If your friend want to organize a Care Calendar to fill a couple weeks of food for you I believe www.carecalendar.org (or com?) is a good tool.

Good luck!(and as my mom says...just smile and be gracious whatever they do :)

My friends gave me a diapers and wipes baby shower. It was great. I celebrated my third child with my friends AND I did not have to buy diapers and wipes for 12 months. It was great!

I have a 16 month old n due in dec, I told my mom I didn't want one cause she spent so much money on the first one. I have never heard of it being bad manners for a family member to host a shower till I got on this site. People can come if they choose to, n if you have everything don't register, n people would probably enjoy buying u cute cloths, etc. I say tell your mom to host one she would might really want to.

Okay, straight out. Have a shower. How many kids are you going to have? None, more, what. I am exactly the person who never made a big deal out of anything that was happening in my life. It made me feel selfish and uncomfortable. So as a consequence the people around me stopped making any deal whatsoever. By the time I was married there was no wedding shower. I have two kids and the only baby shower I had was from people at work. They don't even know that my family or friends didn't do one. Conversely I have sisters who make a big deal out of everything. They got multiple wedding showers and more than one baby shower per baby. All of their now grown kids got multiple multiple showers with no shame involved. I think they go overboard but I think I got shafted. So which way do you want to play it. My only chance now is my 25th wedding anniversary and my 50th b-day which my kids will probably do since they care. If these people care and want to do it let them. It will make them happy. It will let you be the center of attention for a little bit. Pamper yourself, get dressed up, smile, and have a good time. You could always regift or donate the items you don't want or need. Or just go do a registry with the things you do need or want even if they are not traditional baby shower items. Who cares, the party is for you and baby.
Good luck,

I was like u. I only had one baby shower with my oldest. And keeped all the stuff and used it for my other 2. But u should have a Diaper party and if u r gona use formula then have a Diaper, Formula party. And jus have them bring all sizes of diapers. My friend did that and she didn't have to buy diapers for like a whole year. Formula too. Good luck

I think if someone has a financial need for help in preparing for a new baby, then another shower is appropriate... There are times that close friends want a way to help out their friends who might being feeling overwhelmed or financially stressed'.

For example, I have a friend whose children are 12 and 10 and she was surprised to find out she was pregnant again. Needless to say, they didn't have any baby what-not saved from 10 years before... So, yes, having to purchase all the clothes, blankets, cradle, crib, etc., was going to be a big expense and the shower helped... (It probably also helped with easing any emotional anxiety she may have felt about having one after she thought she was "done").

I think the idea for a big bother party or a diaper party is great. OR, you could always have a formula party and donate it to the food bank; The TX food banks are in urgent need these days, especially after hurricane Ike. Diapers are needed too.

If you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it. I felt the same way having two girls in a row. I really didn't need anything. Although, I love the diaper idea as some suggested. Another thought is to have a girls day or evening out. Just some time to get together with a few close friends before life gets hectic again. Maybe manicures or pedicures or dinner out. Congratulations!

I know exactly how you feel--I was in the same situation 6 mos. ago also w/my 2nd son. I decided to just go w/the flow and not put up a big fight about it. I tried to keep the shower small (very small--only about 10 pp.). I registered for a few items I knew I could use and also for a double stroller. I ended up getting a lot of gift cards and diapers and it ended up being fine and very low-key. It took me a long time to figure out if I really needed anything and decided I could really use a double stroller. It's come in really handy--my kids are 2 and 5 mos.

I disagree with those that think it is tacky. It would be tacky if you threw it yourself expecting gifts. But like many others I believe that the birth of a child is a miracle and should be celebrated whether its your first or your fifth. I say if some of your friends are wanting you to have one, then let them give it to you. They are just wanting to celebrate with you in your joy. When my sister adopted her first child who was six, we gave her an adoption shower because we didn't want her to feel left out of having the experience and sharing her joy. I say just register for the things you do need like diapers, wipes, and some cute new outfits. I am sure the baby would want some of his own. Congrats and enjoy!

I agree that if someone wants to do it, let them. I would NOT, however, think it's ok for your husband to request it of one of your friends. Etiquette-wise, close family (like mom, sisters) were not supposed to throw a shower, but then again, you were only supposed to have one. Nowadays, most people don't pay attention to that. So if Mom wants to do it, let her.

Your close friends will want to bring you a little gift when the baby is born anyway. If someone wants to host a shower, great! If not, no big deal. Many people have diaper showers for subsequent babies, too.

My friends and I (my close group) were raised with the old etiquette of no more showers, so instead we do a "girls' dinner," where we cook (or every one brings something) and have the mama over, and give her whatever presents we like. And yes, there is still cake. But officially it's not a shower!

I have found that if people want to give you a gift, they will. I have also found that most people don't think it's bad anymore to have a second shower, even if the baby is the same gender. People will enjoy giving you diapers, clothes, and gift cards. So if you have a friend or family member who wants to do it, don't worry about it so much, and enjoy!

And showers were originally meant to literally "shower" the mama with gifts. People get so up in arms that "all babies need to be celebrated" but showers were originally meant to get the new parents ready for baby. So if some people still don't think it's right, expect that, as traditionally, it's about the mom. I still think that it's fine to have another shower, since most people do, but I just get irritated with that "every baby needs a shower" insistence....for one last time, it's about the mom. Now, a Welcome the Baby party is different, and definitely meant to celebrate. Just my two cents, added after reading some other comments.

I would think that a diaper shower would be good for you. That way everybody can celebrate the new baby and you dont have the "I already have that" thing going on. I would, however, still register at your local Babies-R-Us/Target/Wal-Mart. Let me tell you, I hate baby showers in the worst way...(they had to drag me to my own,LOL) But I have been invited to too many to count in my old age. I think that easiest thing for me is to simply buy a gift that the mother has selected via gift registry. At least then I know she wants/needs it. Go for the gold, girlfriend!!! We all do it...its kind of a way for us gals to pass the ol' plate around!!! Think of it this way...how many more baby showers will you attend in the next 30 years? We all do it to help each other out...plain and simple!!! Thats what showers are for...

M. :)

P.S. Congrats on the baby!!!

If your friends think you are crazy, they will probably have no problem bringing gifts, if they do have a problem with it, they may just not come if invited. I would let your Mother plan it and "co-host" it. If you have a close friend who wouldn't mind, ask her if your Mother can use her name on the invitation. Have the shower at a public place or at your Mother's house so you don't inconvenience your friend. If you want to be practical, you can have a straight diaper shower...everyone needs diapers, or call it a "Pamper" shower where they can bring diapers OR a gift to "Pamper" you. It sounds like you have enough on your plate to worry about, just let them take care of you...you can do the same for them later on! Relax and enjoy!

I had a shower for each of my 4 kids, girl, boy, then 2 girls. I wasn't expecting a shower for my 3rd or 4th child because I already had everything. But my friends didn't get to celebrate with me for the first 2 because we lived in a different area. They were more like "celebrate she's here" parties. They were held after the babies were born so people could meet them. My 4th shower my friend threw a diaper shower where people brought diapers, that is something you will always need. Your friends just want to celebrate the occasion with you. If you don't feel comfortable with gifts for the baby then just get together and have a girls night.

Every baby deserves a shower! That's my opinion. And as you know, diapers, diapers, diapers are always in need. You can select the theme: children's books, diaper party or register at a store for what you DO need.

Enjoy the time your friends want to celebrate with you. They can't be in the delivery room but they can have this time with you.

Good luck and may your delivery be a beautiful one.

When it comes to baby showers most people are pretty relaxed on the "manners" of one. Usually the family is not supposed to host, but I've been to several where sisters or mothers or in-laws have hosted and I and the other guests thought it was wonderful. Also, many don't have a baby shower for the second child if it's of the same sex of their first. So, i see how you were not expecting to have one this time around. I'm sure though if you did have one that your friends and family would think it was wonderful and not weird or shouldn't have been thrown. On the other hand, if you aren't really wanting a shower and don't want to have to get your husband to call a friend and all of that, then i would stand my ground. thank your mom for her suggestion and either skip it all together or maybe have a small lunch out with very close friends and family to celebrate (this would give the opportunity for gifts, but they wouldn't be expected since it's not a formal shower). By the way, congratulations on your soon-to-be addition!

Maybe just have a shower for more of the "essentials", diapers, wipes, lotions, etc.... since you already have the major stuff from you 1st. I don't think it would matter if a family member hosted. I had some showers that my family hosted for me.