Baby Cries a lot...ideas?

Hi,

I did not have personal experience with this myself but my niece had colic and it was pretty difficult. She would cry and turn tomato red. I would just like to refer you to a website called http://www.fussybaby.ca/ I personally know the lady that runs this and she had this very problem. Hopefully you can get some good information there.
Hope this helps!
N.

1 mom found this helpful

Does she have colic? My daughter did this for months! Have you asked her parents if she does this all the time? Maybe her sibling can tell you if the baby cries all the time at home. YOu could be right, she may just be used to being held...or she is held all the time to stop the crying...either way I would tell/ask her parents!

Sounds like she is used to being held alot. I had to break this habit with my baby girl. We had to teach her that sometimes she needs to be on her own. Have you tried singing to her or talking to her from a short distance? Let her know you are still around. My daughter sometimes gets fussy still when I put her down, but I sing, clap, talk to her while I am doing other things to let her know I am still there. I even let her see me so she is further assured that I have not left her there alone. I will come right next to her and tell her, I am right here and slowly walk away and do what I need to do, making sure all the while she is okay. This way she is always in my sight. I even give her toys to play with so she is semi-entertained. It has worked great for me! I am not sure how old your baby is, but mine is 4 months and she is fine with this. I have never had a sling/carrier. She has learned to be independent for her age, I lie her down to sleep by herself, with reassuring pats, let her play by herself with supervision, and she even holds her own bottle. Try and make her independent too, a little at a time. It takes consistency, patience, and time... and sometimes she will cry, but just reassuring her you are there helps.

Hi N.!
I too deal with the same issue! I watch a little girl that is six weeks younger than my son, and she only wants me to hold her all day long! She screams if I put her down and doesn't stop until I come and get her! It is very frustrating and also hard on me considering I also have to take care of my son! I thought it would get better when she started crawling, only it has actually gotten worse, I can't even leave the room now! She has to keep her eyes on me all the time!
I know her family holds her all the time and they hardly let her fuss, and two days a week her grandmother watches her and holds her all day!
That being said, I was told by my aunt, who is a daycare provider, to just let her fuss every time she comes to my house and she will get used to you not picking her up. When she sees you she will know that you aren't going to hold her all day long. This is something that I have been trying to implement, but it is hard because I hate to see her upset! But my son is 9 months old and needs my attention as well! I really hope this helps!

It sounds to me like she is allergic to either the formula or something her mother is eating if she is breastfed. Also, it's very unfortunate that a child that age is spending so many hours away from her mother - that may also be contributing to the problem. Although, I know that's not something you can deal with, you might suggest that other parents that had fussy babies found that it made everyone's lives easier for one parent to switch to an early schedule (I did that in our family) and the other switch to a late schedule to minimize the baby's time away from mom and dad - it's not possible for you to give her the attention she needs with 3 other children to care for. Some babies also just have a higher need for closeness than others. So, you are doing the best you can by keeping her in the snuggli as much as possible.

My little one did this and still has days where nothing really makes her happy besides being in my arms 24/7 (which we all know just isn't realistic). Much of our daughter's discomfort/fussiness was due to tummy issues. She's milk/soy intolerant and has a very sensitive tummy to many things I eat, so since I'm nursing I've got to be extra careful and eliminate those things that irritate her.

Once we got this under-control and had her napping regularly, she was a much happier baby....but still pretty vocal compared to others her age. The FUSSY BABY Book is an interesting one and gave me some insight to my daughter's behavior. I found mine at Half Price Books.

Hope you find some answers too b/c I know how trying it can be to care for a High-Need Baby, as well as other kiddos. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Have the parents provide you with one of dad's worn t-shirts. His scent might be what she needs to soothe herself. It sounds as if the little one is suffering from sensory overload and needs something to combat that. Hopefully the t-shirt will.

Please do not allow her to "cry it out" as her cries are trying to tell you that she is in distress. She could have sensory issues with her formula, clothes, noise, or other factors in your home. She could have a need to be held tight as this is another area of sensory disorder(tactile). I would take note as to when she starts to cry and what is going on. At this age if it is colic, the fan will only worsen it.

I speak from personal experience, as my son would cry every night from 10p-1a. Believe me when I say that we tried everything until we learned that he had sensory issues.

Lastly, I hope that your mentioning that the child stays for 10 hours days is not reflected in your attitude with the children. Children especially infants pick up on moods and can tell who wants to be bothered. Let mom know that she is not at fault because she had to go back to work. Unfortunately these days, both parents have to work.

Use lots of patience and love....

I second Happiest Baby on the Block. Does she like a swing? You might get a Moby Wrap type sling and wear her on your back. It doesn't hurt your shoulders even for extended wear.

Check your local library or bookstore for the DVD - "the Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Karp. If she's perfectly healthy, his calming techniques might be a lifesaver. He calls the first few months the 4th trimester cause the little one's aren't quite "done" :) The book is good, but the video is really amazing to watch as he calms the babies. It'll teach you how. Good luck!

She is likly unhappy about being separated from her mother at such a young age. Also, babies this age should not be allowed to "cry it out". This infant needs more touch and skin to skin contact. This will help if she has colic or just misses mommy.

Something that will DEFINATELY help is working the "Five Ss" Check out htis website for all you need. This worked with all three of my kids... http://www.babyslumber.com/happiestbaby.html

Good luck!

We use the Harvey Karp method of quieting and calming babies. He has a book called the The Happiest Baby on the Block. It really helped us with our first baby. There is a video that you can watch and learn the techniques. You can hold your baby in a football type hold and they love that. The other is Sshing, where you saying Sssh, like telling someone to be quiet. However you do this right next to their ear. It worked wonders for us. We did it and it really calmed down our baby when he would cry. The library has a video- Fort Worth library (main) and there is a book also. There may be a DVD that you could buy now, you might research it on the internet also.

We also used music and singing to our child. We have several music boxes and he loves music, so that helped calm him down too. There are some CD's for babies with ocean sounds, instrumentals, so you might try a CD player and some music that might really help. I know you said you tried it. Have you tried having the 2 and 5 year old sing to the baby. You could teach the 5 and 2 year old to sing and they could sing to the baby.

Have you tried massaging her? I've heard that can be calming. There are books on it, I've done a little bit of massaging when our baby was very young.

Do you have any Baby Einstein Cd's or DVD's, you might try those. Does she have a pacifier, does the family approve if you use a pacifier. It could be that she might need something like this.

Have you tried reading some small books to her? We've used a sound machine that really helped. It had the white noise on there and our baby loved that. Do you have a sound machine? You might want to get one and see if that will help.

Hi N.,
I do know that some babies are just more vocal than others but too much crying isn't normal. Do you notice that she cries less while being upright? If so she may have infant reflux. Just a thought ")
C.

Since she doesn't cry when in the baby carrier has reflux been looked into? My children did not have explosive spitting up but still had reflux. You CAN wear the baby in a bjorn or a pouch sling all day (even in the bathroom)! Don't buy the sling rider or OTSBH!!! Buy a hotsling with stretch or a bjorn. I did and I know many moms that have also. Yes, it might not be as easy since the baby is not yours.

Does the mom still breast feed and you are having to do bottles? That could be upsetting her. CLeaning supplies - fumes, food odors, sound making toys, laundry detergent fragrance, etc. might be unfamiliar. She also might just be a bright baby that wants to be where the action and other kids are. And 10 hrs is an awfully long time for a newborn to be in an environment that doesn't smell or sound like home so maybe she is not adjusting. Good luck! You are taking on a ton of responsibility with all of the kiddos at your house. Hope the problem can be resolved quickly.

**Just my opinion (oh and several leading peds) but holding a baby at this age WILL NOT spoil her. Children in other countries don't touch the ground for a year, are nursed for several and are definitely not spoiled like children in the US.

I held my first baby a lot, but after experiencing his getting spoiled from it, I learned my lesson and have not done the same with my second son. It sounds to me like the baby has gotten used to being held and craddled all of the time. It is not a bad thing, but it can be frustrating when you have 3 other children to watch. Maybe you could try give the baby a bubble bath and showing the baby different bath toys for her to play with. Once bath time is over, find the Baby Einstien video's or some sort of childrens channel and see if she will watch it. She may just be really frustrated that she can not get up and go like the other children, and if that is the case, it will not be an easy several months ahead. Good luck to you!

Have her parents buy this sling. This will help you to hold her all the time and still have your hands free to do other things.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=266326...;