Newborn Drama Queen

Updated on January 14, 2009
A.W. asks from Batavia, IL
24 answers

My second baby was born 2 weeks ago. She is adorable, but is showing a totally different temperment already than my son did as a new baby. I literally cannot put her down if she is awake- she screams unless she is breastfeeding or asleep. The doctor today even said she didn't seem content. I am frustrated and wanted to know if anyone else experienced this with a new baby. My son was so happy from day one and could hand out in a swing or even on the floor and not shed a tear. Is this too early to worry or could this be colic? Any advice would be appreciated- I am trying to enjoy her but it is so hard when all she does is cry unless I am nursing or walking around holding her.

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So What Happened?

You moms are amazing- I definitely feel better knowing I am not alone here with my dramatic newborn. I have pretty much kept her swaddled all day today unless she was feeding. I made sure not to let her nurse in between feedings so she does not use me as a pacifier, and I finally figured out my Hotslings and she stopped crying in two seconds and took a nap- of course when I tried to move her from the sling to the crib, she woke up crabby- but hey we are taking baby steps here. Thank you for taking time to share your knowledge.
A.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations!:)
This is just my experience and I am a first time mom. My daughter is now 4 mo on the 14th YEAY!!! At about the 2 week mark, she started intense screaming and spitting up if on back. I noticed that is was more intense of screaming after she spit up. I took her to the dr several times over about 3 weeks and basically was yelling at my dr that she was colic and i was going nuts, she was in obvoius pain. She said to me she doesnt believe in "colic" and it is either reflux or milk protein allergy and if it was the milk allergy that typically they have reaction to soy also. We tried 4 formulas before she believed me and told me she had reflux. They did a swallow evaluation and then referred me to a pediatric Gastroenteroligist(sp?) The GI dr said i could give her 2ml of supreme cherry mylanta, because it doesnt have alluminum. IT WORKS WONDERS!!!!!
I hope the best for ya!
here is a link to find a pediatric specialist..
http://www.naspghan.org/aspModules/PublicLocateDoctor/Pub...

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K.H.

answers from Springfield on

My daughter was the same way. Her doctor told me that she was just a "very opinionated baby". Her temperment seemed to get better by the time she was 3-4 months, and she was an absolute joy as a child. She is now a freshman in college

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S.M.

answers from Chicago on

It could be colic. Could it be something that you're eating? With my first, he was very sensitive when I had onions.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think there is need to worry, unless you and your Pediatrician are concerned about medical issues. Most likely, you have a fussy baby. My first baby was the same way. We (and the Pediatrician) called it colic -- but there were absolutely no medical reasons for her constant crying. Here's what you should prepare for: the fussiness will get worse until weeks 5 to 6. All babies are most fussy, cry the most, and are most wakeful at six weeks of age. Then, one of two things will happen. 80% of babies calm down. 20% continue this behavior for another 6 weeks. Unfortunately, my daughter was in the 20% group. We used the swing to help her sleep and I carried her around all day in the Baby Bjorn. It was an incredibly tough 12 weeks, but we survived and we almost don't remember it anymore. By the time my daughter turned 3 1/2 months old, she became a different baby...she finally started smiling and interacting, and she wasn't crying all the time. Yours will too (you junst don't know when.) Hang in there, Mama!

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J.B.

answers from Chicago on

I just want to say I FEEL YOUR PAIN!! My son is now 4 months, but at 2 weeks he was the same way. He has gotten SO much better, but still is what I would call a difficult baby.
I went many days without even getting a chance to eat lunch, because I couldn't put him down. I cried a LOT!! I felt like I had failed as a mother. He is my first so I really thought that maybe I did something wrong.
He was colic, even though I was in denial and didn't want to call him that. Everyone just kept saying that he had colic and I would always say, "he isn't that bad" even though I knew he was.
He also had acid reflux, which didn't help at all! Lots of spitting up!! We are now on our 6th formula and have tried 4 different medicines.
He is slowly getting better, but every month I have seen improvements.
By 3 months it was a huge relief, so try to hold out for that, or maybe you will have better luck sooner.
Please feel free to send me a message anytime if you need to vent.

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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like mine! Colic is beyond that, though, from what I hear. Colic is when NOTHING will console them, not even nursing.

Some babies are simply more "high-need". It's rough on the parents, but the good part, supposedly, is that they're more determined individuals who will speak their mind, which is a good quality as long as it's used in the right way. High need babies are just very vocal about making sure their needs are heard/met. They are also often very difficult to put down to nap - light sleepers, hyper-sensitive. www.askdrsears.com has some good info!

My little girl finally grew up and became more independent, although she still has her days. She's 9 1/2 months now, and while it was exhausting for me, I just did my absolute best. The good part is that we danced so much when she was a very young baby, that she's been a dancer on her own for quite a while now.

One other thing to consider is that she might be gassy. Mine was. Cutting out cow's milk and watching that I didn't eat TOO much wheat helped. One Step Ahead makes these wonderful tummy wraps that you can microwave for a few secs to help warm your baby's belly and help them relax to sleep.

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

Get a sling!!! Once you accept that your daughter is high need and wants/needs to be held your life will get so much easier. Both my kids love to be held, my first way more than my second. It is in their nature to be in our arms. Enjoy it. Your ped doesn't know your baby like you do so i wouldn't put too much stock into what she said. It will get easier!!!

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

She is showing a different temperment because she is her own person. Every baby is different. She's too young to be spoiled or to spoil her. She may just be that kind of baby that will want (demand!) to be held more. Yes, it could be colic, it could be anything... If you are nursing her, be careful of what you eat because she could be having some stomach upset from something you ingested (i.e.chocolate, caffeine, spices/garlic/onions, etc...) . I'm certain this doesn't help much that you are not getting your rest too but make sure you are napping as much as you can, don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be Supermom. My daughter just wanted to be held all the time - my son was different. Let your son help, too. Your children are great ages apart - 3 years apart is wonderful.

If you get to the point that she is colicky, there are things you can do to possibly help her, even chiropractic help can be a great relief for some unhappy babies. Don't start worrying - enjoy those quieter moments and get help if you think she is consistently being challenging. Congratulations!

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

Oh my goodness Andrea-I feel for you. I had the same exact baby. She was crying constantly unless asleep or being fed. I took her to see her pediatrician (because I was convinced there was something wrong) and she said she wasn't worried about her health or being an unhappy baby, it was just her tempermant at this time. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through, but it will get better. I know it is impossible to understand when you're looking at your beautiful baby screaming her head off, but I think at about 2 and a half months (my daughter didn't start her crying until a little over a month old), I woke up one morning with Laila and fed her...then sat her in my lap waiting for the wailing to start...and it just didn't. From that point on she has been the happiest, cuddliest baby that only cries when there is really something wrong.

Do not worry about it being colic. Colic is kind of a loose term that they throw around for fussy babies (but if you need reassurance visit your pediatrician). My advice is to pick up the book "Happiest Baby on the Block". The methods he uses to calm the baby down will help with the crying.

Good luck and trust me it will get better.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

We had a similar experience. There were times I cried along with him. My second born was very needy & colicky. Although I primarily breastfed I think his little system was just very sensitive to what I ate and to cold. He seemed to only want to be held & nursed. He eventually outgrew it but remained sensitive to sugar, especially high fructose corn syrup which I have recently learned should be avoided.
It helped to lean on other family members to get a break in the afternoons.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was the same way. It seemed to start in the evenings and go into the night. I had to nurse her almost every hour from 7pm until 3am. Her crying got worse around 7-8 weeks but then started to get better and by 12 weeks she was much, much better. By then, I was able to put her down and she could entertain herself for a few minutes. She is now six months old and such a joy. She smiles and laughs all the time and everyone comments on what a happy baby she is.

Other moms have recommended it already, but if you do not have a sling, I would get one. It was a lifesaver for us! My husband called it "baby kryptonite". Once she started fussing, he would put her in it and literally, in less than 2 minutes, she would fall asleep and be out like a light.

Hang in there. It does and will get better.

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L.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Andrea!
I feel your pain. I was in the exact situation. My son was a dream baby and then I had my daughter. She cried ALL the time!!!! She was a premie and ended up having acid reflux. The only way to get her to sleep contently was to sleep her in a papasan chair because it was tilted upward. I don't know if you have one, but I loved that chair. They were so cozy in it! Just a thought!

Good Luck! Try to get help from family or friends it is a hard time, but it does get better!

L.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I know exactly what you are going through. My first was also the best baby and then #2 came and oh my God. Ours didn't start until about 6 weeks but she was just not happy like you described. It was colic with her and we did try the Mylicon gas drops which helped a bit. Not sure if colic starts that early or not but it did last several months. I also have seen colic tablets and gripe water. I never tried either of them since I didn't see them until colic was over but it is worth a try if she can have it that young. I would ask your doctor for any advice also. If it is colic, I sympathize with you and can only tell you to hang in there. It seems like it will never end, but it eventually does. She is 17 months now and she still has her moments, but is much happier normally. Good luck and hang in there. I really hope it is not colic for you because it is not fun at all.

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L.T.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like you have a high-needs baby. All babies are different and she just needs a little extra attention as she is probably missing the womb. I would read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Dr. Karp's theory is that fussy or high-needs babies are missing a fourth trimester in the womb and during the first three months, we can comfort them by recreating a womb-like environment. For immediate relief, I recommend using a sling or some other baby carrier to free up your arms. The motion, warmth, and comfort of being close to you should help calm her down while also giving your arms a rest. I know it's frustrating, especially when you also have a 3-year old to take care of, but if it helps, try and remember they are little and wanting our attention for such a short time. In a flash she'll be a teenager who wants nothing to do with mommy, so try and cherish these moments. This too shall pass! Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Chicago on

There is a video for Happiest Baby on the Block. See if your local library has it, if not, see if they can get it. I'm sure you don't have time to be reading the book right now. My son is now 8 months and still fairly high maintainance. It gets better, but sure makes it difficult with an older one.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

Invest in a few slings! Dr. Sears would tell you that they are essential to calming a high-needs baby.

You can do everything with the baby in a sling: cook, garden, shovel the drive-way, etc.

It also makes shopping so much easier to just throw the baby in a sling and not have to worry about the car seat, etc.

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S.M.

answers from Rockford on

You have lots of good advice already... all I will add is to make sure her dr. checks her ears when she goes in next. My kids had chronic ear infections, and my daughter developed her first one as a newborn, and had it diagnosed at only two weeks old. By 6 months she had her first "tubes". She did not like swings or even strollers... and I think this was why. That is PROBABLY not your daughter's issue... but it doesn't hurt to check, ESPECIALLY if ear infections run on either side of the family. (they sure do my husband's side!!!) Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Waterloo on

It just sounds like your daughter is a baby who wants to be close to her mommy- nothing wrong with that! I would look into getting a sling if you don't have one already. You are still able to take care of an older child that way and get things done around the house while meeting her need for being held. It's said that for every hour a baby like this is worn they cry 2-3 hours less per day. Any book by Dr. Sears would have lots of good info for you on a baby such as herself. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

get the book/video Happiest Baby on the Block and a Moby wrap. It's a pain to put on but my son would sleep for hours in it and it's much more supportive for both of you than the Bjorn.

www.mobywrap.com

Good luck!

Amy

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D.H.

answers from Springfield on

Does she spit up? Is she struggling and pulling her head, kinda arching back? My oldest was exactly this way and we discovered she had acid reflux at 4 months. Don't wait that long! The doctor can check her well before that. There is medicine and it is safe and will change your life if she really has reflux! Talk to your doctor!
Good luck - I've been there!

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C.G.

answers from Augusta on

My #3 is the same way. It does get better, my LO is now 3.5 months and will let me put her down. My Moby Wrap sling saved me- keeps my hands free and the baby is comfy and happy. I highly recommend you look into something like that. Good luck and it will be better soon.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 14 month old who still doesn't like to be put down. Every baby has his or her own temperment. Both of my girls have been clingy like this. I just hold them, nurse, swaddle, and cuddle as much as possible. Once she's a bit older, you can probably transfer her to the swing more often.

It sounds like you lucked out with your first- I have rarely heard of babies who will tolerate being put down without crying about it!

M.

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N.O.

answers from Chicago on

What about swaddling her? Even if she's awake she might be more comfortable in a small, tight space...my first spent half her life swaddled b/c she hated being in any "open" space...my second was a breeze no matter what I did...they just like to confuse us!

Good luck and congrats!

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A.R.

answers from Peoria on

It could be your baby has an upset tummy from gas. My son would get like that and we tried the mylicon (sp?) drops. They worked wonders! I also had to stop eating salads (mainly just lettuce) because with both my kids it gave them tummy aches, so it could be caused by something you're eating. Keep an eye on when she is worse and see if their is something you are always eating that could cause it and try cutting that food out. Also if you put her in the swing do you swaddle her still? She is still young enough that might be a help. I haven't had a colicy kid, but my son used to cry alot and as he got older he used to eat alot so we thought maybe when he was a baby and crying he was just hungry. One more observation... from what I have heard a colicy baby is always crying and not happy even if you are holding them, so it doesn't sound like colic.

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