Anyone Else Ready for the Holidays to Be OVER?

Say NO, now say it again NO, do you need to practice it again? NO NO NO NO.

You can't do this. If you can't afford Christmas you have to say NO, I can't imagine buying for relatives outside of the kids, a person's own parents, spouse, and the couple's children. Especially if you don't have the money.

My grandson cried all day on his birthday because we didn't have any money to have a package for him. A friend gave him a gift and let it be from us. Kiddo cried when he saw it. He just wanted to have one gift to open since his mom didn't come and he didn't even have a cake.

We have zero money for Christmas. We have direct deposit so we do have overdraft protection. We're planning on going next week or so and buying Christmas then just paying the fees. It costs more but we had an unexpected car repair that could not be put off. It took every penny of money we had put back for Christmas.

The kids don't deserve not having something to open that day so we're doing what we feel is right.

If we had enough money to buy for all the extra people you listed we'd feel very wealthy indeed.

I think I used to feel that way too sometimes.

But then my kids grew up. And now all that stress is gone, but so is the look of profound happiness when they opened presents, even when it was just a new matchbox car or a fresh box of crayons.

Take a breath girl, focus on what's important, you know what it is.

:)

I hear you!

This is the first x mas without pete. We are in a new home. Money is tight. In fact, the roofers will finally be come NEXT week to put the new tin roof on (there was a delay/mix up in ordering the metal). I am sure that 'little' project will carry us into the new year.

**sigh**

One foot in front of the other!!

best

***and notice I did NOT say happy holidays!!***

Wow, you have 6 kids and you still buy for all of those family members? I would think it was a given that you just buy for your kids. Establish that next year (with lots of advance notice).

Hang in there.
Remember a few things:
1. Everything doesn't have to be "perfect." (Doesn't exist anyway!)
2. All you can do is all you can do. Send text hers a simple card & note of thanks & appreciation acknowledging all they do. Perfect.
3. Keep it simple. Each kid: something sweet, a book, a toy, new pjs. Get a family movie basket with popcorn, snacks. Stockings with practical school supplies.
Don't compare your holiday to anyone else's. Make it YOURS. Big, small, simple, or extravagant....YOURS.
Merry Christmas!

I'm sending you a virtual hug. Yes, I'm overwhelmed too. I'm looking forward to Christmas, but I keep having fantasies about moving far away and owning a horse ranch. I even told my husband this last night... He doesn't help with my stress because he isn't around, and when he is around, he just creates more work for me, and gets upset if I remind him. But if I don't remind him, he forgets! Last night he forgot to pick up my medicine.

Have you thought about not exchanging gifts with the extended family? We stopped doing that, and it's a big relief.

i'm sorry you feel down. i am overwhelmed as well. my kid has a surgery tomorrow. then we have to isolate ourselves for 2-3 weeks to keep her healthy. but christmas is my favorite holiday ever. so nothing will bring me down.

Think positive!
The day I say I can't wait to get through the holidays is the day I'm old, lol.

Christmas should not be about $$$. Forget all the gifts for everybody. Do what you can to get the kids a few things. How old are they? Young enough and they won't miss it at all (like our baby or toddler). 3 and up...even re-wrapped stuff works.

We have 5 small ones so your post hits home, but you have family (times 6!) to be thankful for. Enjoy it and don't let gift obligations spoil it.

Don't buy a thing for family members outside your home. Send a card if you must. Nobody will miss a gift, and you won't go crazy or into debt.

I don't have any easy solutions for you but I would say to skip buying for all the extended family. We used to draw names but we don't even do that anymore. We only buy for our immediate family and good friends, and my MIL and my mom. That's it. No aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
So maybe suggest drawing names with the in laws, and if they don't want to do that just say you're not able to do gifts this year, or spend some time making cookies or fudge with your kids and give those as gifts.
You have a lot going on, so trim whatever you can!!!

I'd start firt with making a big pot of chicken soup to heal the sickies and insure the healthy ones in the house. Since you are 1/2 way there with the photos I'd suggest to pick 12 and make a calendar for everyone. There are many cheap sites that do that (walgreens always has coupons, vistaprint...). 7 year old don't need much for a great party (obstacle course, treasure hunt, making fruit loops and licorice necklaces, musical chairs... rsvp's are tough. i'd call the guests and ask "hey, i'm doing my final head count for Saturday. are you in or out" it's a pain, but it takes the stress out of the wonder. might even get one of the older kids to do it, as they are blunter and to the point so it will go quicker and you won't get stuck on the phone.
Skype. get your family on the internet and video chat. it helps. there is a download called v-mo that lets you conference video. it's free. you all download it and video chat at the same time, from different locations, together.
oh and of course, take deep breathes and count backwards from 10 when you feel like you are losing it:)

Since I don't have my son this season, the only way I could care less about the holidays is with Valium.

Seriously... Without your kids...Why bother?

I am so sorry you are feeling this overwhelmed!! I know this is a crazy time for all mom--me included! I have 2 suggestions:
1. try not to let your kids see you are overwhelmed. I know that is hard--it is for me too!! My older kids were talking with some friends and one of the friends said " Christmas is my mom's favorite holiday! She really gets into it so it is mine too." My kid looks a me and said "haha! Mom, we know how much you don't like Christmas! It is too much work for you!!" I felt terrible!!!
Try to either hide it or simplify it but don't let the kids feel what you are going through.
2. Our public school has a program at Christmas that is run by the school nurse that collects gifts for kids -at our school- for people in need. Those that receive gifts and those that give gifts have no idea who is "in need". It is worth talking to the school to see if they have any such program.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!!!

Not so for me, but I see that you have a lot on your plate. I hope you can find joy in the happiness your efforts will bring, despite doing it on your own, missing your family, the tight budget, and your cold.

Best,
F. B.

Sending you a virtual hug! Try to think about what you are grateful for, and be kind to yourself.

So sorry to hear you are overwhelmed. This time of year can really get to a lot of us, because of the expectations we put on ourselves based on what everyone else tells us we are supposed to do & the measure of success we need to meet.

Last year, I was facing the end of my career before going back to school, so the hubby & I were looking to see where we could seriously scale back, especially on gifts. We hit the jackpot while travelling, & got a big bag of pecans, travel-size bottles of bourbon, & I then printed out fancy a recipe for a Pecan-Bourbon cake, which I gave with the bottles & portions of nuts.

You & your husband should first make sure that your family is taken care of. Now, & going forward. If buying gifts for everyone will tax your resources & put you in an unsafe financial situation going forward, then don't do it!!

As an idea of how to do this, without making people feel like you are "grinching out" on them:
Spend $50 on baking supplies & give everyone home made cakes & cookies. Have the kids help you & take photos while doing it (actual baking photos, & maybe a few staged ones with funny shots of flour all over your faces). Then, put them in some pretty boxes or bags, & hand write a card, with copies of the photos.

Buy some art supplies (no, you DON'T need to be Martha Stewart & blow your budget, as it is so easy to do!) & have your kids make home-made ornaments. Give them some ideas, & then let them be creative. Gifts from the heart.

For me, this year I'm actually sending out handwritten cards to people, and I just finished a home-photo shoot with the dogs in Holiday themed props, that I'll pop into the cards. That & some home-baked chocolate chip cookies should satisfy my classmates! As for family, we discussed & decided adults over 16 would be doing a gift exchange - 1 name each, $20-25 spending. This is our 3rd year doing this, & everyone loves it!

This way, you can continue to keep the "reason for the season" which for most of us is to share of ourselves with family & friends. So, don't stress. Do what you can, & find one thing each day to do with your family to celebrate what's in your heart.

Another thing to consider (depending on a family meeting & everyone agreeing) is to celebrate 1/2 birthdays. The actual birthday is a simple dinner/cake with immediate family & maybe 1 or 2 best friends. Then, in May/June, a party with friends. Better weather, & not so much stress for planning... plus, people would be more likely to be avialble to participate, & not so busy themselves.

Here's hoping you are feeling better soon... Maybe it's time to put your kids to work celebrating the season with peppermint-flavoured hot coccoa in bed to help you out!! (Don't forget to spike it before drinking hehehe) T.

Sending hugs your way. Some days are harder than others for sure.
Many blessings to you

I am sorry you feel overwhelmed. Here are some gift suggestions that are special and do not cost that much..

Also do not feel like you have to give individual gifts. Give a family gift. Make a goal of $30. per family and see what fun ideas you can come up with.

You need to order these this week.

Custom Jigsaw puzzles.

You will need a photograph of what you want on the puzzle. As a family gift I have taken a photo from a persons Facebook page and had a puzzle of their family, dogs. Their home, a photo from their vacation. A photo of their favorite activity. If they ski, skate, at an event.. ..

An old photo of some ancestors. A photo of a child in their Band Uniform, cheerleading, Confirmation ceremony.. You get the idea. Or, The whole family.

I once went to my SIL home and took photos of our nephews messy bedrooms. I then made it a "Wheres Waldo" situation. I made a list of things for them to find once the puzzles were put together. I included the list with the puzzle. 2 army men, 4 pairs of tennis shoes, 3 candy wrappers. etc.. .

You could add bags of popcorn to make it like a "puzzle night" gift. I found a popcorn company called Quinn Popcorn. They make organic microwave popcorn with interesting seasonings.. Hot chocolate mixes.. I think Whole Foods or Trader Joe's sell them.

Forget the 40 photos for the photo book. Instead give them 10 photos and for the rest of the year, every once in a while mail them a few photos a month.

Christmas does not have to be stressful.. Let each of your children pick a recipe to bake something and then have all of them bake a recipe every other night. Freeze the bake goods, then you could give out wonderful boxes of homemade assorted cookies.

Could you do something smaller on these actual birthdays and then have a party at the "half-birthday" to move some of it out of such a busy time?

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I have been there. I also have six kids, though they are all grown now. I would try a couple of different things, but the overall thing would be to simplify. 1. Gather the family and ask if they would agree to making cookies, etc., to give for gifts, instead of spending a lot of money. They can decorate, wrap in plastic with a single ribbon tie and a sticker with to/ from. This can be for extended family, teacher gifts, etc. If the thought is really what is important, then this would be a thought. Also, add a little saying or something. Or you could give coupons for service - sweeping, babysitting, etc. 2. Ask the kids with bdays if they would like to do something different for their bday. They could carol at a children's or old-folk's home and give cookies out or dollar-store stuffed animals or something (the kids might want to come to a different kind of a party and give service, rather than the usual), then come back for hot chocolate & cake. If there are funny looks from anyone, say you decided to go with the reason for the season, instead of the commercialism that is usually there with Christmas. And Merry Christmas to you! :)

I didn't read all the replies so I may be repeating something. I have a large extended family through my hubby. And only 2 kids. We buy for our kids 1st and extended family kids -up to age 18 - 2nd. We don't buy for the adults. We do a Chinese exchange Christmas Eve for all the adults. If we don't have the money that year, we only buy for our kids. They are our priority. If you really really want to do gifts for everyone else, do a family picture. Have a friend take a nice picture of all your family (or just the kids if you have to due to yours husbands work schedule), get some decent frames (dollar store, wal-mart, etc) and give those. I know you want to buy for others but sometimes it just can't be done.
I hope you feel better really quick. Being sick makes everything harder and seem worse. Hugs !!!

We are in a blended family also. It seems the holidays are always a "chore" for us moms. I have been fighting a head cold for the last couple weeks and haven't really cooked, only super fast and easy stuff. The family didn't seem to care. This is the first year I shopped on Cyber Monday. Not really huge sales, but I do have to say that it is SO MUCH EASIER than going to stores. And every day I'm getting boxes delivered...no effort at all! Just need to wrap them now. And my kids joked that actually they are already in boxes so just put them under the tree. lol Sometimes you just have to let some things go when you feel like you do. Cut back on the things that you can. Don't feel obligated to do things you don't want to do. And delegate things to others when you can. I hope it gets better for you. Good luck!