We have our son in a church mothers day out and he was having a great time till a new child was added a few months into it and has been aggressive to my son and to other children too. I was told that my son will not just let him bully him, he will defend himself. Although my son will defend himself, he doesn't want to go to school anymore.He contantly tells us how he doesn't want to go because of this child who is always mean to him. My husband too wants me to pull him out.
I have asked that my husband come with me to talk to the director and the teachers about what the procedure is, if by chance if the child keeps being aggressive, if there is a number of times before they are not allowed to come back. This is very trying to me too because being new in town and no family here, the pre school has served as a place for me to be able to get out and do for my family, also the pre school I felt was helping him to be able to get prepared for kindergarten.
My husband doesn't really understant those points because he is at work and doesn't really focus on the needs of our son. Not to say he is shallow, he's a great daddy, just sometimes what he thinks will be great to do, by pulling out will solve the problem. It doesn't, it creates another issue, my son not being involved with other children, no interaction. He needs that so much.
I just feel that if we have to take my son out, that he will be actually the one who will feel punished. This is all the play time he has with others at the moment and social interaction. Any suggestions, or if anyone knows of any preschools that have openings that have strict procedures about aggressive children. It would be appreciated. My son went to a pre school in another state that had policies against kids who were aggressive and after 3 times weren't allowed to come back. There were no problems there. Again any info to lead us in the right direction would be wonderful. Thanks.
I'm not sure what church you were taking him to but my church (McKinney Fellowship Bible Church) has a relatively new MDO program. I personally don't use it because I work full time and my daughter goes to an in-home preschool, but I love the church so I assume the MDO is good too. Good luck!
Have you tried First Baptist of McKinney. They have a good mother's day out program, I think until 2pm in the afternoons.
I have worked as a preschool teacher in a church mother's day out as well as a regular preschool. Unfortunately, I believe that church preschools wish to serve as more of an outreach program rather than a great preschool. I definitely think you should pull your son out and have an alternative preschool to start him in. Many shcools will do just a few days a week and half days (8ish-2ish). They are usually more pricey, but peace of mind is worth a million. Most of the Primrose Schools do part-time. ALso, you can check on a schools licensing violation at the Department of Family Services website. I know you don't want to do a disservice to your son, but the whole point is to get him to enjoy school and if he is scared of the class, you should send him somewhere he'll feel safe. You don't want to cause anxiety when there could be a potentially easy fix.
This is just horrible. I totally understand about the husband thing - I have the same issue. I am starting my daughter in Mother's Day Out tomorrow! I used to be a Director of a very large preschool in Frisco and you should definitely pull your child from where he is. I have looked into so many places here in McKinney for my daughter and they were all full! (At least the good ones!) Anyway, the good news is that January and February is when they register for the next year. I have been on every waiting list there is and finally got a spot at "Tumble Bugs". Not your traditional MDO, but she attends gymnastics there and LOVES IT! The people are great and she gets to do gymnastics class during her MDO week. She goes T & Th and one day they get free play in the gym and one day they get gymnastics instruction. I love it there and the teacher is the Director. I have looked at lots of places and definitely know what to look for. I have worked in preschools for the last 4 years and quit last April to stay at home.
Do you mind if I ask where your son goes? I am just curious as I have gone to all of them and am still on waiting lists at a couple. (Just in case it doesn't work out at Tumble Bugs, which I don't see why it wouldn't.)
Also, McKinney Bible Fellowship is opening up a new class this month as well. They were my 2nd choice and where she would be if an opening at Tumble Bugs didn't come about.
Let me know how it goes, but a Director should be on your side and sympathetic to you. Did you recieve a Parent Handbook or Policies or anything? If not, ask for one. By law they have to have one and all parents should recieve one. If you got one and don't remember what it says, ask for another. There should be a policy on children that bite, fight, etc.
Let me know if I can be of further assistance! :)
A. Mitchell
Hi R.,
Wow, I really feel for you. I think you're right about not wanting to pull him out, especially when he's not the one causing the trouble. I would ask the director for some written procedures for dealing with it - both my kids are in different schools and both schools have that, so I don't think that that is an unreasonable request. Both of our schools have what they call a "zero tolerance" policy. After a certain number of incidents (i think it's about 3), they pull the offending child from the classroom as punishment. In our case, it has worked wonders. All in all, I think it is the director's job to ensure that every child enjoys and wants to come there... so just by telling them that and the links you've seen to the other child arriving, should help get them to realize. Perhaps it would also help if other of the parents also complained.
The other thing to consider too is what age he is - ie if under child development standards what he's doing may be age appropriate in some way, and they may be just trying to wait it out.
I hope it works out!
M.
