Another Wedding Attire Question - Groom

Here's what you do...

Sit down and realize that you just wrote "my wedding" not "our wedding" and that you've been seeing it as exactly that. Now realize how wrong that is. You aren't marrying yourself, you are marrying a great guy who loves you very much and whom you can't imagine spending your life without.

Once you do that you go to him, put your arms around him, give him a huge kiss and say, "Honey, I'm sorry for being so selfish about the wedding. Its going to be the happiest day of my life and I just want it to be perfect. I realized that it will be perfect no matter what because I'm marrying the perfect guy for me. I don't care if you walk down the isle in your underwear, I'm just happy that it will be you at the end of the isle."

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I will find and burn every bolo tie in the world just to end this arguement. I hate them too, UGH!! (But I do love that we're both getting married around the same time, YAY!)

ANYWAY, I think you have every right to go bridezilla on this one. Are either of you REALLY going to remember who wore what (with the exception of you)?? He needs to give up the bolo tie idea... not that it really matters, they're. just. so. silly.

Why does he feel so strongly about this!? Tell him, okay, your son can wear a bolo tie, but as a compromise since you want your son to look like a clown, he's also wearing pink nailpolish and kitten heels.

I LOVE THAT DENISE P. SAID SOCIAL D!! :)

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This probably isn't what you want to hear...but I think they're kind of cool in a Mike Ness/Social Distortion kind of way....LOL (and I am in NO way a "western kind of gal"!)

How about this -- either:
1. No tie

or

2. You get to pick/approve the bolo tie?

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Yeah, it's petty and it's your thing you need to get over. If you can't stand it, get someone to photoshop in a tie after the pictures are taken--LOL.

Honestly, though, to think that people are going to make fun of him and that he doesn't realize it really assumes he's pretty daft. Maybe YOU don't get it. Men aren't as dense as we give them credit for and he did grow up in Montana....maybe that's his idea of formal wear, maybe that's what he envisioned himself getting married in? Plus if he's wearing a vest, it's hardly noticeable. MAYBE you can even get him to wear a cowboy hat too. hee hee

I don't have an opinion either way on it in terms of style but it might mean more to him than you are realizing. Don't be bridezilla. If you can be unemotional about it, chat with him and ask him if you can reach a compromise on it.

Honestly, the bigger deal you make about it, the more likely he is to dig his heels in. Be gracious. Be sweet. This is his wedding too. He may ultimately choose to do what you want but be willing to give him what he wants.

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Oh no... is this your first Bridezilla moment? Just kidding... I completely see where you are coming from on this one.

Maybe he could wear the traditional tie for the ceremony and "formal" pictures and then put on his bolo tie and boots for the reception and take some more pics? You could even "join in" by taking a few pictures in a cowboy hat if he thought it would be funny or cute.

My BF got married on his wife's parents' dairy farm... yikes, but they are both ranchers it was "their thing". Having said that, everyone wore their "nice clothes" for the ceremony, but after all of the formal pictures were taken, the guys put on their boots and hats and "us girls" did the same- boots and hats. Those are actually the best shots from the wedding b/c we're all laughing and having fun.

Just a thought-

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First of all this wedding is not YOUR wedding. It is both of your Wedding, practice saying OUR wedding.

Breath. I also HATE bolo ties.. they are even laughed at down here to an extent.

I like the Compromise that Krista suggested, he wear a traditional tie during the ceremony and the formal portraits (and only if HE remembers) he can change into the Bolo for the reception.

Or you actually give him a Bolo you approve of to wear.
I am sending you strength.

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Weddings make people insane. It's a tie. Let it go. He has family in Montana and he loves it there - but you discount this like it doesn't matter in your question. He'll probably get COMPLIMENTS on it if it's a nice one BECAUSE it isn't traditional - it's different and interesting.

Now, I'd worry if you feel like this about what he does in general, cause that's a bad sign. But if it's just wedding craziness, try not to let yourself get crazy over the little stuff. It's not worth it. You said yourself " I was all about "this is our wedding, we can do, dress, etc. any way we want to feel comfortable." - except for him? That's not fair. You're not going to like or agree with everything he says/does while you're married - you need to pick your battles and a tie that he likes shouldn't be one of them.

I googled it to be sure I knew what you were talking about, and I have to say that some of them can be very attractive - they just aren't traditional.

Here's an idea - maybe you've only seen ones that you don't like. I would compromise and go shopping with him to find one that you DO like - here's a link to one that I thought was rather nice - http://www.sheplers.com/mens/bolo_ties/102479.html?Source...

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I would take a bolo over the blue tux my daughter's boyfriend is saying he is going to wear if they get married. I can't say "over my dead body" fast enough! Go on line and see if you can find one that you both agree on. Its y'alls wedding. Its not going to really matter what he wears, unless its a powder blue tux! Congrats on your wedding! Its a trip of a life time!!!

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Haha, I had to google "bolo tie" because I didn't even know what it was! Can you guys find a middle ground...perhaps even no tie, just open collared shirt? It is really hard, because you can't say "This is what I want on MY day"...because it is "OUR day".

I have to say, I agree with you though!! That is without a doubt a "western" thing, and it may look a little strange if nothing about your wedding and/or attire is western!

Good luck with this one, you'll have to let us know what happens

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My husband loves Hawaiian shirts - the louder the better. I think they're hideous. If he had wanted to wear one for our wedding, I would not have objected. I married the man, not his clothing. When I look at our wedding pictures, I don't really notice what anyone is wearing. I see two people who love each other and the friends and family who showed up to celebrate that love.

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Ask him to wear a regular tie for some pictures as a favor to you and then wear whatever he feels looks better for the service and the rest of the pictures/activities.

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If my future husband told me he was gonna wear a bolo tie at our wedding, honestly, I would go ballistic, so I can't really say I blame you! I think you have to tread carefully, though - you certainly don't want a huge blow-up before the big day. Try explaining to him that although it may seem silly, it's really important to you that he look a certain way for the pictures and that you have your heart set on him wearing a regular tie. I like the earlier suggestion of changing the tie for the reception (if you could stand it!) - maybe he would go for that if you present it as an option. Kind of reminds me of when my daughter went to prom and her date "threatened" to wear a pink polka dot bow tie (he was serious, and would have been the only guy there with a bow tie) and she freaked out saying he would ruin all their pictures - in the end, she was able to convince him that he would look much more handsome without the bow tie and they compromised on a solid pink tie - thank goodness! The bottom line is that is IS your day - I really think you should have the final say. GOOD LUCK.

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Everything that Joann C said but be sure to add the fact that you will laugh at that bolo tie (in an affectionate way) years from now! Oh, and remember, no one is going to be able to take their eyes off of you anyway you will be so beautiful so the tie won't even be noticed!

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Do you have anything else in common with this guy?

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What if he told u he didn't want u to wear what you wanted? Let this one slide. In ten years you'll laugh at the pics!

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Take a deep breath, and let it go. Let him wear it. It's his wedding too and if this means something to him, you really want to start your new life fighting about the style of tie he wears? I understand you want your wedding to be special, but it won't be if you turn this into a fight.

A couple of years ago, my SIL got married. It was a beautiful wedding, she was in a gorgeous gown and he was in formal wear, even a top hat. But when you got close enough to actually see him, his shoes were black & white converse and the band around the top hat was something a little odd, but I don't remember what it was. The point I'm trying to make is that my SIL REALLY didn't like the idea of the converse but it's what he wanted and it was actually his only stamp on the whole wedding when it was supposed to be "theirs".

There was also a similar thing at my wedding because both of my brothers have their left ear pierced. They chose to wear earrings to my wedding. I was fine with it but my husband wasn't. He was really against men having piercings of any kind when I married him (he's come a long way since). He wanted my brothers to remove them, especially since one was in the wedding party. We sit down and discussed it. I would have let him have it if they were wearing long dangly things but they were both small discreet diamond studs. I hadn't even realized they were wearing them until my husband pointed them out. So I had my brothers stand across the room and asked my husband if he could tell they were wearing anything. When he said no, he also said he realized how silly he was being and he let it go.

So, this all ties back in what Joann C. says. :) Don't sweat the little stuff, luv. Congratulations on your wedding.

1 mom found this helpful

ew! Im so with you! Unless youre marrying Mike Ness, its a no go! lol
cant you get him in a vulnerable moment and convince him otherwise? wait, no wait...wait until you actually go try these things on and let him see for himself how he looks. With my BIL my bf and I went with him and convinced him on everything :)

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Well. On the bright side he is involved in the planning of ya'lls wedding day.

Up until two days before our wedding, my husband was going to wear work boots and carhartts down the isle. Cute, huh? The fellow seriously doesn't have a fashion oriented bone in his body. He wears work pants, work boots and a mucked up shirt every day.

So here's what we did. We looked online to find suits that he liked (and that I liked as well). Turns out, Tom Waits had the look he wanted. Bravo. Deal. Skinny tie black, suspenders, black suit (a timeless Calivin Kline wool number that was on holiday sale) and Black Frye boots. He looked handsome, if I do say so myself. AND felt handsome and comfortable. The trick was he didn't want to look stiff or formal - because that's not the type of guy he was.

There's got to be a way for your fiancée to get his rugged, tough, Montana look and also be the sans bolo tie groom your looking forward to seeing on the isle. Try looking for photos of men whose style he appreciates, and pick and choose from there.

BTW I didn't care for weddings...until I had one. Found I'm actually quite particular!

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Yes, I agree Joan is right. But just to be funny, Maybe you could make a ridiculous bargain to bring the message home to him. What does he hate that would be embarassing to him? Mom jeans? Biker boots? A nose ring? Lady Gaga fishnet gloves? Tell him, it's great you want to express YOUR individuality on OUR wedding day. In that case, I think maybe I'll wear my fishnet gloves. That ought to get his attention! Or go with the theme. There's nothing like agreeing with a man to really piss him off! Bolo tie? cool, I'll wear my Wrangler jeans and cowboy hat. I'm teasing of course. Conrgatulations and have a great wedding.

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