Am I Asking Too Much Here????

I'm rollling my eyes at the people that say take an interest in the game. I hate everything about it, especially like you said when they no longer root for one team, i might BIg might be able to get into that, but not watching every single team and following a whole fantasy roster. did i say i Hate it! my hubby follows college and NFL. talk about a single mom. i highly doubt talking about it will help but maybe the sexy half time show will. good luck to ya. and you have my sympathy.

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Graphic / TMI warning... read at your own peril:

When I was dating players (who were absolutely glued to the TV during certain seasons) my favorite way to get their attention was half time. (Obviously, with kids this has to be limited to night games... OR get babysitting for the afternoon;)

I'd strip naked sans heels &/or anything else pretty I felt like wearing. As soon as halftime started I'd strut out wearing my heels and a smile and nothing else carrying a cold beer.

Halftimes were great. A lot can be done in 15-30 minutes without clothes on.

Tip: Put the halftime show on mute, but don't turn it off.

Tell him what you just told us.

No, I don't think you are asking too much. It sounds like there's just some imbalance in your relationship, and this can be fixed.

Decide, first off, what is most important to you. Is it the sex, or your husband doing family time at the park, or his helping with the kids?

Then, write out a proposal. Guys seem to listen more to a game plan than they often do our emotions (which feel like a trap for some men. ugh.). Explain what you want him to do. "I'd like you to choose two games to watch during the weekend. After that, we'd like your company." This may make him think more deliberately how he's spending his time and prioritize.

Another idea would be to sit down on a Thursday night and make a plan for the weekend. When does he plan on doing some family activities? What about the shopping, or the trips to the park? When does he plan on training for the 1/2 marathon? Let him know that you would like to spend time with him too.

If it feels horrible, unworkable, go talk to a counselor. Sometimes, there are other issues in play that aren't as easy to focus on. Even the feeling of being lonely and deprived (and maybe taken for granted?) can work havoc and distress on us, and make some attempts at communication much more difficult and emotionally charged. There's nothing wrong with getting help in working things out *before* they get "bad". This is what healthy couples do, myself and my husband included.

I hope you find a resolution to your situation. I only have to "compete" with the Yankees, the Trailblazers, and Duke games, and it still feels very lonely some nights. I've decided to start movies without him, because I'm *not* waiting around while they go into overtime! Good luck!

So many great responses here. I hate football, especially just the sound of the sportscasters jabbering away, it numbs my brain!

My husband and I came to an agreement: He can have TV during football season, but as soon as the superbowl is over, we get rid of TV for the rest of the year. It helps me a lot knowing that I only have to endure football for a few months of the year.

i was going to say the same thing as someone else did about getting into the game. do you watch it with him at all? make it an event. every weekend during college football it is an event at our house...grilling out, wearing the jerseys, watching the game. the key is not to ask a lot of questions during the game but during the commercials. show an interest in his teams and you may see that he sees a different side of you.

Maybe take an interest in "the game"
I am not going through this , but then I like football season, I look forward to it every year. We make an event of it every fall. We all have our game day " gear" shirts, jerseys, etc, Have football snackies ( little smokies , meatball subs, chili etc) and root for our teams. It's fun.
If you don't understand the game ask him to explain it.
If you take an interest in what he's doing then he might focus more on you.

I have no suggestions but just had to commend Demetra. It is a great idea! Made me giggle.

For the record, I love football (tho Favre and the Vikings are truly killing my enthusiasm this year.). And we make it a family event. We making fun appetizers. I enjoy an adult beverage. The kids and I make banners one week and pom pons the next. We sometimes make chart for a quarter betting pool (i.e. guess the score at the quarters and win the pool etc.). And of course, Monday Night Football runs late...Meaning the kids are in bed by the time it ends...Wink Wink.

You could MAYBE count all the hours he watches sports in a week and then carefully ask if he would be willing to give up 3 of those 20 hours. Make sure you have an activity planned. Meaning, if he says tonight, "Yea, I can find time to do something this weekend." Then be prepared to say "Great! Because we are going to catch the play the local high school is performing on Saturday from 6:00-8:00."

I'm lucky, my husband isn't into sports. I would be okay with it, so long as he kept some nights totally free... as in, he needs to pick some teams to follow and that's it... no need to keep up with every single game. That's plain ridiculous and what sports shows and the internet is for, to hear the final score and any awesome plays.

Also, I agree about getting into it with him. It can be fun to watch so long as you have a team and understand what's going on. Have him explain it to you if you want and make it a little date night. If you aren't into that, then go get another hobby and leave the house or do your craft thing while he's in front of the tv.

I think you should hide the remote. Then, when he asked if you've seen it, tell him you have a deal for him... Tell him it's 'tit for tat'--literally! He can watch each football game in exchange for some offensive tackling in the bedroom... Guys don't like to be told that their ignoring their "game".... And when you give him the remote back (or put it in your bra cup and have him get it...) make eye contact and say, "I'm serious."

Otherwise, you can always get some cheerleading pom-poms and do a little cheer: "Gimme an S! Gimme an E! Gimme an X! What do we want?.."

(I will mention, however, among male athletes there's the opinion that sex drains them of energy. So, if your hubby is in training for a marathon, his avoidance of sex may be on purpose... You need to find out whether he's avoiding it to rechannel energy.)

As for family time, tell him that he can have football on either Saturday or Sunday--but he can't devote both days entirely to football because the kids wait all week to have 'fun time' with dad.

Sit down and think and write out how you feel and which of his actions make you feel like that. Take some time to think it over, and then when you're NOT angry ask if you can talk with him. Let him know that you understand sports are important to him and you want to make sure he has a reaonable amount of time to enjoy them. Let him know how you've been feeling with alot of "I feel" statements NOT "You do, or you this or that." Let him know that you "RESPECT" his need for him and his down time. Ask if you can set up an agreed upon amount of time each week for sports/exercise and how can you help for him to get that time. Then, work out between you some ideas that would make you feel loved, appreciated, and how he can help you with some down time.

nope. not asking too much at all. you want your man to partner with you to raise your children as good as possible.

also, you have needs, too- emotionally and physically. you mentioned sex a couple times so obviously it's something you want (or need). obviously you can take care of yourself but it's not the same i know.

have you talked with him about it? just wondering if he'll be defensive or if there's an underlying issue. is the sex good when you do have it? did something change where he's just not as interested?

Sorry I don't have this problem he has no time to watch too much TV if he does I just let him be he works too hard during the day & when he isn't at work he is helping me at home doing work & playing with his 3 kids..
Your bothered by it tell him unplug the TV & tell him how you feel & what the kids might be feeling

I just wonder what he would do and how he would feel if there were something that YOU were into to the extent that he is into sports. My bet is that he wouldn't stand for it. If I were you I would find something and let it run YOUR life like the sports is running his.

You can always ask him if he minds you going out with your female friends to clubs so you can meet some people who DON'T obsess about sports - - that may make him perk up.

I have the same problem. Remove football and insert the computer and that's my husband. I will watch football with my husband every now and then and my children will to so that we can spend some quality time together.

Something that you can do that will be fun and you can get something out of the deal would be to send the kids to grandmas house and when a game is on, go to where ever he's at with nothing on but a football jersey and that black paint under your eyes. Guys are visual so I believe that'll give you the sex that you want and he will be turned on because it's football themed. I think after doing that a few times, he'll come looking for you and not so much for football games all day and night.

Otherwise you can do the counseling (if he'll go) or you can get mad but trust me, i've done that for years and it doesn't really change until he wants to change it. If they don't see a problem then they won't stop to fix it. The best way to change his mind is to make him see that the alternative to football is better than football. As far as spending more time with the children on the weekend, maybe you can ask him to compromise with you. If he wants more of the "football sexy wife" then take a weekend off or even a few hours on the weekend and spend time with you and the kids.

I am soooo with you!!!!! Football ruins every sunday!! Not only is my husband hooked but my son as well. They spend the entire day glued to the tv. They call it holy day!!! And i don't mean going to church!! Thank goodness my daughter likes to hang out with me when she's home from college. We shop!!! Lol