9 Month Temper Tantrums??

Sounds like she is right on schedule with my little one. Elizabeth started this last month, 9 months old. At first I was completely shocked when she decided to throw herself down on the floor and bite the carpet because she wasn't getting her way. I have to say it made me giggle a bit at the dramatics of it all.

I agree with the not giving in and telling her no. We also tell her "no fits" and just calmly look at her and wait for her to get over it. I don't raise my voice to her. I just speak in my normal tone. I don't want her to think she can get a reaction through throwing a fit. The only time she gets a loud NO is when she is about to do something that could harm her.

I don't know if you have been hit yet, but that happens at this stage too. I have been hit, bit and pinched with her fits. When she does this, I hold her hands and tell her no. Then I take her hand and lightly rub it down my cheek telling her to pet nice. I'm really the only one she hits, but I read in one book that babies do this with the one they trust the most. So lucky me.... :)

It has gotten tons better this month. She seems to have more understanding when things aren't acceptable.

GL!!!!

KUDOES to Shellie's response!!! Another day care provider here....39+ years raising my own two daughters, and many children of others, the same way! I can only add that each time you let her get away with the tantrum....each time you give in....you have to start all over again. Be strong and firm, mom. It's a shame when parents become so concerned about hurting their children's feelings; when the world doesn't work that way. They will hurt more later if not taught by those who love them. Our job is to start early, preparing them for what's out there. Teach her now and have no regrets later. God Bless...

http://www.missbrenda.com

My 13 month old is the very same way. He is so sweet and easy going, but when he gets mad it is all over. He throws himself on the floor, screams and cry's. He started this probably 3 months ago and I don't know what to do. I was going to put a post today so thanks for putting one. I usually just tell him no we don't act this way and walk away. If we are at the store I just try to ignore him after telling him no we don't act this way. It is not working, but I keep trying. I am not sure what to do. My daughter started doing this when she was two, but they didn't last long. I don't know why he started so early.

My DD started tantrums at about this age and I was surprised too. I did not think it would happen so early, but it does for some! My DD is very independant and strong willed so I have done A LOT of work around setting expecations, being consistent and following through on disipline. At this age, time out most likely will not work. But telling her in a firm voice "no" and removing her from the situation will help her understand the rules. Do not give in to her crying, because this will teach her that if she cries enough she will get what she wants. My DD will still cry when she does not get what she wants but it only lasts a minute because she knows I will not give in once I say no.
Good luck! If you start now with being consitent it will carry through the rest of her life!

Liz,
Tantrums begin very early, and so should discipline. According to the Bible in Proverbs 29:15 "A rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself will bring his mother to shame". Now I'm not suggesting you whip your 9month old of course, but, your child is old enough to learn (and understand) "no". When your child begins acting up, immediately speak to her in a firm voice, one different than your nice sweet voice, something that she can recognize as being different. Remove her from the area, take her to the car, speaking to her to let her no that her behavior wont be accepted. Maybe a thump on the bottom of her foot or a spat on her hand, to let her know there are consequences to bad behavior. She is crying out of rebellion and the fact that she "wants her way". You need to show her that SHE is not the one in charge. You are right in that if you dont do something now, soon she will be bratty and wont be able to play well with the other kids.
I'm a mom of 5 and a veteran daycare mom of 100's over the past 15 years. I've had them from birth to school age. I treated them all this way from as early as they began showing signs of rebellion. Their parents were all pleased with how well they minded me and couldnt figure out why they wouldnt mind them. My kiddos loved me and respected me because they "knew the rules". I wasnt mean, but firm, yes. You can be firm and take control in a loving way, but it takes practice.
Get your Bible out and read how God dealt with His children (us) over the years. There must always be a consequence for everything, good or bad. Reward little Ava's "good" behavior, so she will look forward to those responses from you, but then discipline those tantrums, so she can begin to know the difference between right and wrong. The sooner she learns that, the happier you both will be.
In Christ's love,
S.

Hi Liz,

Well, I won't be winning the popular vote with the responses so far, but I am not an advocate of spanking. Yes, I read my bible and it mentions the rod striking in ONE verse. All the other verses describe the rod being for directing and protecting the sheep....take that as you will.

On to my suggestion, I HIGHLY recommend the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" DVD by Dr. Harvey Karp. The book is hard to follow so I dropped it and got the DVD. I still use the techniques with my 2 and 3 year olds and we don't have major temper tantrums. This was something I never learned in College (degree in psychology and child development) so it was refreshing to learn something so effective.

I also am a huge fan of Love and Logic. It is not too early to look into these tools too. WE use Karps stuff with love and logic and things go pretty smooth around here. We have discipline issues but they are resolved quickly and without making us (the adults) tired. This is an emphasis of L&L is taking care of you, knowing when and how. Great stuff. We have listened to the books in the early childhood package on their website as well as the Painless Parenting DVD. I also have a list of classes in TX, but honestly unless it is geared for small children, you may want to wait on those; mostly geared for elementary or older.

You will always get conflicting advice in marriage and parenting; go with your instincts and what you believe; what we say does not really matter, but knowledge is power. Let me know if you have questions.