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Ok Need Help with Punishments for 22 Month Old ASAP PLEASE!!!!!!

Ok so my son is 22 months, I am trying to go the non spanking route. Here's what he is doing, He has found out that he can jump. So he has started jumping off of our kitchen chairs. Not good. And I know he is going to act like this, but when I tell him to stop he just looks at me and laughs. (It's funny but I have to do something) I also have a problem with him running from me (and he's faster than me LOL) when I try to take something that he's not suppossed to have, Like screwdrivers (husband left them in his reach ONCE) and other things that he knows he's not suppossed to have. He is just being a baby, But I have to find someway of letting him know that he's not suppossed to be doing that.

So timeouts are good, But how? He fights me to much to be able to strap him in his highchair. He is to little to tell him to sit for 5 seconds let alone 2 mins. So I NEED IDEAS!!! PLEASE!!!!

2 moms found this helpful

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So What Happened?™

He is now 4yrs old. I forgot to update. We just pushed through that stage.

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I fully second the Love and Logic program. There's no spanking involved, but it is a great way to discipline quickly and effectively. I use it as a discipline tool for my son, but also in my junior high classrooms. The great thing is that the kids are experiencing the CONSEQUENCE of their actions, rather than a punishment inflicted by you. They have no choice but to feel as though they are responsible for the consequence they are experiencing, because you deliver the consequence with firm empathy rather than with anger or frustration. Grab a copy of Love and Logic for Early Childhood. It's a quick read, and the concept is simple and easy to apply both at home or out in public. Good luck, B.!

First of all, do not laugh at anything you don't want repeated. You have to be patient and consistent. When he gets on a chair or anything else and jumps off say no. Warn him if he does it again he's going to timeout. When he does it again, put him in time out for 2 minutes. If you don't want to consistently put him in a corner or chair over and over every time he gets up then put him in his room with a gate in front of the door. It sounds like he has learned he can pretty much do what he wants and you better get a handle on the situation before he gets any older. Use an authoritative voice when you mean business. No matter how much he cries or screams never give in, no matter where you are. If others don't like it, they can just get over it. I definetly believe in positive reinforcement and lots of praise as long as it's genuine and well deserved. So lots of that, too. Good luck.

I was just reading about age appropriate discipline. Here's a link to some good guidelines and ideas.

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-...

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My kiddo is all grown up, but there are still lots of little ones in the family. What I see so often when I watch parents with their little ones is the tendency to punish everything. Life is all about exploring and learning when you're 2, so make it safe (physically and emotionally) for your son to learn and do new things. See his "misbehavior" as an opportunity to teach him something whenever you can, rather than just saying no.

For example, on the jumping, think of it as a new physical skill which is a good thing for your son to be able to do. Rather than punishing him for jumping off chairs, show him all the appropriate places he can jump. Teach him to pile pillows on the floor and jump off a step stool, or find some other way to let him APPROPRIATELY use the new skill. His timing may not be great, and he may want to jump when you don't want to supervise, but the more you indulge him, the sooner his fascination will wane and you can get on to the next fun phase!

As far as him taking (and running with!) things he's not supposed to have, try keeping your initial reaction very calm. If you're gasping and hollering, "Eeek! Give me that screwdriver!!!" your son may enjoy pushing that button. Try saying something like, "I see that you found Dad's screwdriver. Can you show me what that's for?" Then let him help you loosen and tighten a screw in a doorknob or somewhere else. This way, the screwdriver doesn't become a "forbidden fruit" (which he will only want more!) and he won't have to run because you won't be chasing him. He also learns something in the process and the two of you don't end up mad at each other.

I just read the part about you having other kids, so I hope my suggestions aren't insulting! Enjoy that little guy because, as you already know, they grow up really fast!!

3 moms found this helpful

B.,

In our risk adverse culture, my question may come as a surprise: What is wrong with jumping off the kitchen chairs?

Here is an article I read recently that may interest you about giving kids the chance to learn by experimenting with small dangers. This helps them to test the limits, learn their own limits, and be better positioned to manage their behavior properly later on.

http://www.openeducation.net/2008/08/04/our-risk-averse-c...

My daughter loves to climb and jump. I signed her up for gymnastics at around your son's age BECAUSE she was swinging and jumping from my kitchen set like a monkey. She is the most physically adept child in her class and circle of friends. I believe this is in large part due to my allowance of her development through experimenting with these types of behaviors (e.g. tree climbing). It never fails that when she skillfully climbs a tree, someone in the vicinity loudly exclaims aghast that she is going to fall. She never does.

Safety is one thing, but excessive restrictions might just repress his need for physical activity and exploration. If the chairs are particularly unsafe (perhaps they are high spinning stools?), can he be guided to exercise his jumping desires to another location that is equally satisfying for him?

Incidentally, my daughter never hurt herself at that age. And, one of her cousins was the same way. She is more prone to a minor scratch or bump now at 5, but that is still how she learns.

My view is very consistent with the Love and Logic style of parenting. Perhaps when he is testing his limits, a cautionary verbal warning and tone from you "be careful" "watch out for the slippery floor" will help him know to be on guard, then let him make his own decision. If he falls, pick him up, kiss the boo boo and give him empathy. Better to learn about danger from the kitchen chairs than later on with a car on the highway. Then he decides if he wants to do it again. He may just learn a more skillful and safe way of doing it. Or he may decide he doesn't like getting hurt.

Look at the daredevils in the Olympics! Many of their parents were worried for their safety over the years, but is that a reason to suppress their dreams of Olympic Gold? Ultimately it's their life, not ours.

As for clearly unsafe activity like running with screwdrivers, knives, etc. can you just babyproof a little better? This is better than chanting "No" all day long. Not surprising this riles the little daredevil up further.

Regarding behaviors that are simply out of the question and dangerous, again, Love and Logic is a good sensible training course.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

There is a great program called "Love and Logic" www.loveandlogic.com. Woodhaven Presbyterian Church in Irving is doing a free seminar on Sept. 13. You can find more information about that event on their website www.woodhavenpres.org. The guy who is speaking is one of the founders & is fantastic. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I got this advice from my pediatrician when my son was little. First make sure there is NOTHING in his room that is dangerous. Put a hook lock on the oustide of his door, like the ones you see on old timey screen doors. When he acts up, put him in his room and apply the lock when you leave the room. Even though he is in his room with his toys, he can have his fit and have time to think and calm down. Then when he is calm (if he doesn't fall asleep), then let him out. A few times of it and he'll know what it is. I also spanked my kid and it's not mean, as long as you don't do it an anger or beat them. Spank him on his diaper or butt (thru his clothes always) and he'll get the message.

Hi B., you are not alone. Try and think of discipline as teaching and not punishment. He sounds all boy and this is normal. :)

~Try this, when he has something that he is not allowed to have, try not taking it away - as in the screw drivers. Teach him how they are used instead. Tools are way too much fun to lose to mom.
~My son could identify a Phillips from a flathead by three.
~Now knives and other very dangerous objects are serious and need to be removed right away but take a minute to talk to him about them and why he can't play with them. Show him what they do - like when you cut an apple or a carrot and he can eat the product while he listens to you talk about the dangers to his fingers and body and why this is always a no no.

~What about making a game of it and use pillows from the couch? Have a 'jumping time'. It might take some of the adventure out of making you so excited while he is on the kitchen chairs. :)

My son still jumps from the furniture - he says he is flying and it feels great. It scares me but I have made it as safe as possible for him. He loves airplanes like a fanatic and who knows who he may be when he grows up.

I also read to take a 2x4 or 2x6 and place it on the floor and let them 'walk the plank'. Building a fort is nice with blankets over the kitchen chairs so he is under them not over. How about a box and pretend to be pirates. Something he can sit in and use wooden spoons as oars. These were great fun at 2 and 3.

~Try distractions and not punishments. So less stressful and you are not feeling like you are struggling all the time and it will build his self esteem too. What fun for you both.

Good luck and many great adventures to you both!
C.
www.goingtotheark.com

I was just reading about age appropriate discipline. Here's a link to some good guidelines and ideas.

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_the-discipline-tool-...

To add to the holding the baby is something called the basket hold.
Sit with your child on the floor.
Cross his arms in front of his chest and hold his hands without force behind him and you can also place your legs on top of his.
I know this sounds extreme but it doesn't hurt the child at all it is using physics to hold him in place with little to no effort on your part.
It also helps to talk to him soothingly and tell him why he is being restrained.
The child is then released when he calms down.
I had a son that when I put him in time out in the corner he would spit at me and not cooperate in any manner.
This is finally the only thing that would get his attention.
And later I would ask him if he needed the basket hold to calm down and most of the time he did not.
Good Luck - D.

My nephew did the same things! (Instead of a screwdriver, he did it with a large butchers knife he somehow got a hold of). My sister-in-law put him in time out, which often meant she sat down in time out and held him in her lap (she didn't say anything or hold him in a "hug" position - that would just reinforce his bad behavior). She held him facing away from her but with a firm enough grasp of his upper body that he couldn't wiggle free or hurt himself or her. He had to stay there with her until he calmed down, then he could get up. He wasn't able to sit in time out by himself until he was a bit older and by then, he knew that sitting in time out meant sitting still until he could be calm enough to get out, with or without someone holding him.

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