Hi...my 7 year old told me tonight she didn't like herself because of her tummy sticks out. She said God doesn't like her because He made her like that. Ok, granted, it was late, she was tired in the car on the way home, passed bedtime. BUT! It goes on a little. She said she has to go 6.5 hrs (school time) sucking in her tummy. She doesn't want to be made fun of. I asked her who makes fun of you? She said nobody, but then she mumbled and I couldn't make out what she said and didn't push it. Now let me put this in perspective for you. She is right at the tip of the healthy BMI index, meaning she is 84 when the cutoff of being overweight is 85. We do our best to eat healthy, however, this one has definitely inherited her dad's sweet tooth! I monitor the junk food, etc. She likes vegetables and is pretty varied in her diet. The help I need is getting her to feel better and confident that she is just fine the way she. I was exactly like her at that age and I grew out of it and was a petite size 3 around 100 years ago. She takes karate and is pretty active. I hate to hear her say she doesn't like herself. Her sister told her she was plump once and we've talked about that (that won't be heard around this house anymore). Thanks for listening.
Would it be helpful to look at lots of magazines, books, websites, athletes, etc. with strong healthy bodies of all shapes and sizes?
Explain that the world would be SO boring if we were all exactly alike. It would be like Baskin & Robins with only vanilla.
Explain what the function of a healthy body is. And that it cannot be defined by a number.
Poor baby, this is why I loath the media. As long as she is active and healthy, getting her veggies and all she is just fine. Sadly, young people can't see this. I wonder if kids at her school are talking about this, perhaps emulating their older siblings. My DD is 8 and didn't want to wear a kangaroo costume because the pouch made her 'look fat' despite her super tiny size. I catch her in front of the mirror sometimes, checking out her size. She worries she will get big. I just periodically remind her that she is beautiful, that activity and health are all that matter and show her pictures of successful woman that are not a size double zero. Good luck momma, letting our girls leave the house sucks!
I'm in the same position with my daughter who just turned 9. So far it is an occasional comment, but I'm concerned that it could become a bigger issue as she gets a little older. My daughter is also right at the edge of what's considered "normal" weight and overweight. She also eats a varied diet, goes to karate and swimming lessons and likes to be active. Her father's side of the family is tall and large, mine is smaller. I do remember being like she, with a litte extra weight, at a stage during elementary school, but in 3rd grade she is bigger than I was in 5th!
I'm extra concerned about my daughter because I suffered from eating disorders from age 15-20 and it is not something I want my daughter to go through.
I'll be checking the answers you get for new ideas!
My 9-year old is the perfect weight but she has a tummy too. She eats healthy food, we allow sweets in moderation and she does 5 hours a week or more of cheerleading/dance/gymnastics. We're not worried because we're pretty sure her tummy is leftover "baby fat" and will go away in its own time.
That being said, she gets self-conscious about it sometimes. When she does I let her know that everyone has something they don't like about their body or wish they could change so she's not alone. We should worry about the things we CAN change, like who we are.
I know that sounds all cheesy but it seems to work for her. We also talk to her about why she likes her friends. Does she like them because they are tall, short, have blonde hair or are skinny? NO! She like them because of who they are.
One thing we DO help her with is to dress in a way that's flattering to her. Every girl likes to feel beautiful, and the right clothing can do that. My daughter really wanted a bikini, and while I don't really love the fact that little girls are wearing bikinis, I let her try on a few. The top of the bikini bottoms hit right under her belly and the top hit right on top of it. She LOOKED like she had an even bigger belly, and that's when she commented on it in the dressing room. So I encouraged her to try on some tankinis so she could still have the two-piece option. She LOVED how she looked! It's now her favorite suit and I think she looks absolutely darling in it.
Try taking your daughter shopping and try on lots of different clothes in different styles. Make it a fun day with lots of modeling! Help her to discover which clothes make her feel pretty. From watching a lot of those makeover shows, sometimes changing the outside CAN help you feel prettier on the inside. It's not a bad thing.
Your daughter is beautiful just the way she is! I hope you can help her to see that.
Talk to her and tell her beautiful and smart she is. Kids, especially young girls need reassurance. Try and instill self confidence in her. If you have a little extra cash, and time to spare, try to have a girls day out. Maybe go shopping, get a mani-pedi, something like that. Let us know how it works out. :)
Everyone has some sort of little belly. Even when they stand up if they don't have one, then they do when they sit down!
Kids are supposed to have a small pouch. It means that they are growing normally.
One thing that we've done for our son is cut the sizing tags out of his clothes. That way he doesn't focus on what 'size' he is. Of course it doesn't help when I DO have to buy new clothes.
Sugar ruins the body's ability to chose what it needs. Get it out of her life and that will be that.
Really.
WestonPrice.com can help.
Try raw honey,barley malt brown rice syrup. These are sweet, and don't mess with the body.
Best, k
momma hugs to you. I was your daughter. Keep telling her she is beautiful. I always thought god made me ugly so that i didnt turn into a pretty flower. have her go to a nutritionist. maybe she needs to hear from someone in the field. someone may getting her at school and she is afraid to tell you. this happened to me alot. I had a girl that i wanted to be invited to her bday party so bad..i followed her around and gave her everything i had for two weeks and never was invited. i never told my mom. she is also seven so they are still meant to have a litle of the extra kiddo love on them. my milk shake in the middle is this way. she may hit a growth spurt when she is older and shoot up and not gain a pound.
please remind her she is just at the start of a very beautifully long process...and She doesnt have to change for anyone. It is so tough to be a pre teen teen you name it. there is so much shown off.
hang in there and keep us posted.
I went throw this with my daughter and every once in a while we talk about things like this.
My daughter never was over weight but she was in the line, when she came to me and told me she felt her tummy was big, we had many conversations:
I explain that thin wasn't always better, you could be a thin person and be sick and tired. I told her that being unhealthy things was too easy and too dangerous, but being healthy, strong and energetic takes good habits.
I help my daughter to get in a better weight by teaching her doing it the right way. We cut down the sweets and we become more active, we got her magazines and I show her mine (Oxigen magazine) where women work really hard and eat really healthy for have nice, strong, healthy bodies.
But getting a flat tummy wasn't all, we also look for things that give her a good self steem about her self. I sopported her passion for drawing and she is an AMAZING magna creator, that makes her feel special, she get so much joy when people on the street complement her drawings (it happens often).
I also explain that she is still growing and what she sees now in the mirrow is constant changing.
We also have to be careful on the way we talk about our selfs, I have FAIL about this many times because I use to be size 0 and now I am 4 sometimes 6 and I have talk about how I don't like, big mistake of mine.
Lucky my husband catch me soon and we talk about how womens body change with babies, I also try to talk about my weight lost in a healthy maner in front of her and not like: I am fat, but more like: I will like more energy, I want to live long for you so I need to be healthier, etc.
I think is great that they know that what they have inside is the most important but I would also don't complete turn away her feelings about her body but instead use this feelings to help her to learn how to do changes to her body the right way for the right purpose which is be stronger, have more energy, live longer and healthier, etc.
So I would work both ways, inside and out but pointing the right reason of it.
ask her if she would like to start exercising with you. you both can go for a 1 mile walk in the evening. ask her what she would like to do about it. also tell her that she is very young to worry about body image. i feel bad that she has gotten teased over this. remind her how beautiful she is. have her stand in front of the mirror and point out all the beautiful things about her. the way her eyes sparkle, her bright smile, her cute freckles-glasses- etc. remind her how kind she is. also tell her that kids who make comments about her belly or weight are not kids she wants to be friends with. give her a huge hug :)
