Inappropriate for Moms to Wear Bikinis?

Updated on May 20, 2013
J.S. asks from Saint Louis, MO
54 answers

Hi mamas,

I had a friend recently tell me that she thinks it is inappropriate for moms --especially mothers of small children-- to wear bikinis when at the beach or pool with their children. I had never really stopped to think about it. I was very fortunate to be able to wear the same size post-children and have SO many bikinis from before that I never went out to look for a "mom suit." I wasn't aware moms had to wear one pieces or tankinis. Am I missing something here? What is your opinion--IS IT inappropriate for a mom to wear a bikini?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B..

answers from Dallas on

I think it's inappropriate for any female of any age, to wear a suit that their body parts fall out of. It's the SUIT, not the body or the age.

9 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I wouldn't say that it is inappropriate, but it is impractical! Moms, especially those with small children, need to be able to swim, run around and be active without having to worry about popping out. If you have a good fitting bikini that allows plenty of movement, and you feel ok in it, then why not.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Miami on

I live in Florida and 90 percent of the ladies on the beach where bikini's. Parents or non parents. I personally wouldnt care.

7 moms found this helpful

More Answers

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

heh. 'tis the time of year for bikini judginess to come back to MP.
it is appropriate for ANY woman to wear a bikini if she's comfortable in it. period. anyone who doesn't like the way she looks in it is free to avert their freakin' eyes.
ETA i disagree with the vast majority who say 'if you've got the body for it' and various permutations thereof, and also with those who say 'if you're not embarrassing your kids.' i'm so sick of women's worth being judged by how hot they are. the only people who should be ashamed of the plus size mom rockin' the beach in her bikini are the people who are mocking her, or whose delicate eyes are offended by female flesh, or pretty much anyone who does anything but muse to themselves 'i might have gone with a brighter shade of blue.'
@@
khairete
S.

15 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

A woman does not have to stop wearing a bikini just because they have children.

Heck, in some parts of the world, women go topless to the beach. And it is no big deal. And men wear scanty bikini bottoms. Too. And these are parents, too.

11 moms found this helpful

F.W.

answers from Danville on

I say...if you've got it, flaunt it.

Wearing one around little kids would not phase me. However, as the mom of teenage sons...I think THEY would be embarrassed! lol

I have always preferred one piece or tankinis - even when I had a bikini body. They are just more comfortable and practical for swimming...diving...our ocean swimming.

10 moms found this helpful

E.N.

answers from Knoxville on

Oh my! If you have the figure after kids then by all means flaunt it!!! It is not inapporpriate to wear what you like. I have seen women in their 70's in bikinis!
I, on the other hand, would NEVER. I am plus sized and have 'hangy' parts that I want COVERED at ALL times! If I saw someone like me on the beach in a bikini I would think "either she didn't look in the mirror or she is lucky enough to not care what others think"!

10 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

No way!! Usually people who say those things, are the people who can't or don't have enought self esteem to wear bikinis. I have a 4 and 6 year old boy, and I've always worn bikinis. Why should you have to cover up your whole body just because you had kids?? Now, that does not mean I would condone mama's wearing g-strings around children, but bikinis are fine.

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't wear a bikini with my young kids because they will pull it down when I hold them. I make sure I wear a suit that can withstand a 15 month old tugging at the top. Now when my husband and I go out without the kids, I wear a two piece. Now the mom at the pool with the perfect body and four kids. I wish she didn't wear a bikini, but that's my jealousy talking.

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Did you ask her why she thought this? I've never thought bikinis were inappropriate for any reason other than the shape of the body. If parts are hanging out, as one mom suggested, it's not appropriate.

I can't think of any other reason for a mother to not wear a bikini. Yes, do continue to wear yours.

I suggest that her idea may be along the antiquated ideas that say a woman (lady) should not wear mini-skirts or show their knees or even way back when, their ankles. Perhaps your friend thinks that since she has children she shouldn't look too sexy?

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I'm 48, have a grown daughter and have never worn anything but a bikini since I was 18.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Must be summer. This question gets asked EVERY year. 'Tis the season.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Denver on

Of course not. That's ridiculous.

8 moms found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Could be a regional social more. I live in CA and I can tell you that societal expectation does not exist here. Our societal expectation is that if it appears you bikini is being eaten alive by your body, then wear a one piece or tankini. But if you are fortunate to get your figure back after babies, get back in your bikini! Personally as a late thirties woman with a 34 DD, I feel I get more support with a bikini top than the tankinis or one pieces. I wear them a little higher and with a little more coverage, but I am not ready to adopt the Lands-end look (not with the little skirts anyways). I will reserve that for grandma-hood.

8 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Orlando on

i think if you have a nice enough body to wear one, why not? (i'm not talking g-strings here, lol) i dont think ANYONE should wear those in public. haha

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I don't wear a bikini, but I didn't before kids either. If I had a bikini body I wouldn't let the fact that I have kids stop me from wearing one.

I can see having a cute tankini for when you have to chase kids, mostly becuase I wouldn't want a "wardrobe malfunction" at the public pool, but the idea that moms should cover themselves just because they are moms is nuts.

I say rock your bikinis as long as you are comfortable :-)

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D..

answers from Miami on

Not sure what being a mother has to do with it. Being inappropriate is something NO ONE should be. If a bikini is tasteful and a woman has a body that works with one, what is the problem?

It sounds like your friend is either jealous or has something against mothers being normal people...

7 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Oh good grief....where is that friend from. Does she think that once you have a baby you are supposed to molt into frumpy mode? Does she wear skirts to her ankles too?

What would she do if she happened upon a topless beach.... YIKES

My daughter is 18 and I am the same size 0-2 and in shape that I was before she was born. Yes, I wear my bikini... it is not strings and inappropriate but it is a hot little 2 piece that I wear with pride.

I don't worry about what others think. If you are comfortable in your own skin and you can rock the bikini, go for it.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Boca Raton on

i didn't receive that memo.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.J.

answers from Dallas on

yes. I don't care if you have saggy skin or are chubby or have a little 'junk in the trunk' if you can see the bottom and see the top and all your stuff is covered. go for it.

I guess I don't believe in the "if you have the body for it" because it's really no ones business:)

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Um - why not? Am I missing something?

6 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Wear what suits you. Pun intended. :)

6 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think it depends on the woman and whether wearing the suit will impede her ability to care for your children. But this could be any type of clothing

Can she bend over, climb stairs, stretch, run, crawl, sit on the ground, with out her breasts, butt crack, and lady parts being seen?

I even think about wearing a sun dress when I go to my nephews baseball games, because people sit under the bleachers and can look up..

I have seen women wear wide legged shorts and when they sit down, I could tell you the style and color of their panites.

So I do not think there is a "rule" as much as common sense about what people wear in general. You do not want to be a spectacle, but you can also still look cute as a mom.. ..

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

There's been a meme going around though my friends on Facebook. One part of it reads, "How do you get a bikini body? You put a bikini on your body." If you are comfortable wearing one, please do. There is no rule that says you can't. It's a matter of your personal taste and your comfort level. Do not let other people dictate for you how comfortable you are in your own skin. Put one on and look at yourself. If you look good to yourself and feel good in the bikini, go for it!

Personally, I choose to wear one pieces or tankinis, because that's what I'm comfortable in. I'm very busty, plus I'm an active swimmer/diver, and bikini tops don't stay put on me. As a teenager I had the misfortune to go off the high dive in a bikini. I ended up 15 feet underwater. The bikini top, on the other hand, stayed floating on the surface. At that point I decided that bikinis simply weren't for me.

6 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I'm not a fan of bikinis for women of any age or stage of life, but I can't for the life of me envision that there'd be a magic cutoff for bikinis that is activated post-baby.

6 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

No, she's either very uptight or jealous of the women who can pull it off post baby.
Of course I live in California where bikinis don't raise an eyebrow at ALL, it's perfectly normal here.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I just checked the Official Mom Manual I reciwced when I have birth.
There are no codes or provisions applying to beachwear.

There is a common sense provision which reads "if increased activity necessitated by taking kids to the pool or beach doesn't negatively impact your swimsuit choice--wear what you choose!"

Keep in mind that even when you're not aware of it, there are eyes on you at he pool/beach. (At least O. answer here have me the heebie jeebies!)

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Miami on

I hope not because I do! It's not a skimpy bikini with strings (because that's just begging for something to happen), but I do wear a bikini. After two kids, I've worked damn hard to be able to do so!

5 moms found this helpful

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

My business:
what I wear
what I think looks nice on me

Not my business:
what someone else is wearing
what they think looks nice on them

I wear a one piece to the pool (indoor) and a bikini to the beach.
____
ETA Darn straight Suz T! I couldn't agree more!

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.W.

answers from Portland on

I know it would be inappropriate for *me* to wear a bikini. (hee hee!)

I am not judging anyone else's decision. Bug said it well. I'm a tankini gal because I need support and I like feeling well-covered. I had bikinis when I was younger and they were more comfortable; they wouldn't be for me, now. I don't want to worry that if I bend over or twist that something's going to flop out! I would rather wear something halfway flattering.... I like the cute skirt bottoms, too.

5 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I've never heard such a thing. I, like you, wear the same size I did pre-kids. I love my bikinis and you couldn't pay me enough to wear a "mom suit."

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Wausau on

How to have a bikini body: Put a bikini on your body.

Go for it. :-)

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Seattle on

I think you have a regional mindset being inflicted upon you. I grew up in SoCalif, land of bikinis, and went to visit my Aunt/Uncle in St. Louis, MO with my 1 year old daughter, and was sporting one of those super high cut one pieces. That was 1989, so you get the picture I hope. And my aunt was mortified that was I wearing such a 'mom' bathing suit. But I had great legs and the figure for it. Her thoughts were absolutely foreign to me.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

LOL
Well . . . I took my wife on a cruise for our 10th anniversary. One of the islands we stopped at was St. Barts. As we are strolling along the beach my wife taps me on the shoulder and points. There is a lady dragging two kids along by their hands. She is really talking to them angrily. I cannot tell what she is saying, but the kids (boys) are about 6 and 10. She is wearing part of a bikini, only the bottoms.

She had it and was flaunting it. Just like many of you have said.

I remember people talking about women's swimsuits the way you are, but it was one piece back them. Times change. Suits change. I wouldn't be surprised to find monokinis to be as normal as bikinis in 10 to 15 years.

AND sometimes, in California, the women ALMOST wear a full bikini ;~))

Good luck to you and yours.

5 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I think it depends on the situation and the suit itself, as well as how you act. Around small kids, acting like a mature adult and wearing a modest bikini is ok. Around older kids (like teens) maybe not. Acting like your are at an adults only event is not.

My daughter's pre-k class had a pool part last year, and one of the moms who actually has a grown child (like mid 20s) in addition to the 5 year old, was wearing a bikini that looked like she was going to pop out of, wearing makeup and jewelry. Acting like a diva and was in the pool but not wanting to get her hair wet...was clearly just putting on a show....inappropriate.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Only if the suit is inappropriate to be worn at a public pool, IMO.

Face it, small children see a lot more skin than most people in our lives besides our significant others (having to take them with you in a changing room, getting dressed at home, nursing, having to use a toilet with an audience...)

I chose not to wear a bikini because of my own comfort level (I'd like to hide these abs now) but if I felt better about my midsection, I'd wear one. I personally wouldn't wear a thong bikini or strings. The other thing I think parents should bear in mind is chasing children in the pool or at the beach. Sometimes my choice of suit is based on activity level. Or whether or not DD was still nursing. Etc.

Modesty is great and I love the tankini option. But I don't think you birth a child and automatically can't wear something else.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Dallas on

My attitude - if I had the body, I might wear one. But I'd wear one with enough material to keep the girls and my booty, etc. covered. I would say it might be inappropriate for a woman to wear a bikini where she was spilling out all over the place, especially in your kid's face, etc. :)

If you feel good in one, go for it.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.N.

answers from Denver on

You know, if YOU think you have the body for it, then rock it, girl! I wear one when I feel especially good about myself (which isn't as often as it was 5 babies ago...) otherwise, I go for something more "flexible" for chasing kids around a pool.
Its not anyone else's place to say whether my body can or should be displayed in a bikini. There are plenty that look better than me, and believe me, plenty that look worse. I get a good chuckle (privately, of course) at the bad ones, and I get wistful at the 20-somethings who don't bear the marks of baby-growing yet. It's all good. All of it.
Rock your bikinis, Mamas!

4 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

If you REALLY look good, and have a NICE body why not....The problem is when moms or woman wear bikinis and they look awful even if they are thin....not all thin people look nice in bikinis and they insist in wearing them!

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I live in Tummy Tuck Central, so there are a lot of moms wearing bikinis around here.

If I had a fashion model body, I'd do it. However, at 43 and after having two kids, I'll do the world a favor and stick with my tankini and skirt. I'm not overweight, but still don't think anyone wants to see my post-baby tummy pooch. I love Lands End swimsuits for this reason (and I'm not a grandma).

4 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

no it's not inappropraite! I wore a bikini up until this year. I recently caved and bought a tankini, which I'm not too happy about wearing (I'm a size 10 now). I think I look OK in a bikini, but I don't like when I sit down, you can see some flabbiness. So, I'd rather just wear the tankini and be more comfortable in my own body (it's a cute one at least). But, if I could drop about 20 pounds in the next month, I would totally be back into a bikini :) I would never have thought that I shouldn't wear one because it's innapropraite.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Having lived all around Southern California my whole life, bikinis are all over the place, moms, kids, grandmas, whoever.

Many moms who are not comfortable with their tummies are in one pieces or tankinis ("momkinis" my sisters and I call them) and that's cool too. I think for the first time ever I'll be exclusively rocking the momkinis this year unless I am able to drop a few lbs this last month before summer :(

I personally purchased some momkinis a few years ago when my daughter started swim lessons, because the moms get in the pool and I didn't think cute bikini's were apprpropriate for the "serious swim" environment (the teachers wear one piece speedos, ya know?)

Guys you should see my MIL rocking her bikinis at the lake every year- she has no issues about showing her large belly and thighs. Personally, I wouldn't at that age/size. But then again every year I think I'm going to look horrible in my 2 piece and then I see those much larger than I sporting them so I get comfortable and start wearing them again.

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Some people will say bikinis are for everyone (and every age) whether they are parents or not.
Just my opinion but the vast majority (not all) of women who wear bikinis have NO business shoving that much fat into so little material.
I just don't have a burning desire to view any mostly naked people whether they are super fit or not.
I just see lot's of people just begging for skin cancer by exposing that much skin to UV radiation.
Of course - if you use swim suit optional beaches - some people bare it all and care not what jiggles or who sees it.
Wear what you want and don't mind what your friend thinks.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from Houston on

If you are trim, and have a nice figure why not? I would never wear one, I have cellulite and I'm about 50 lbs overweight, it would be gross, and would make people puke. Conversely I don't particularly like to see fat wobbly cellulite covered women in bikinis. I have one of those swimsuits with a skirt, and I feel good in that

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think it is inappropriate for moms to wear a bikini - only if the swim suit is INAPPROPRIATE. I have seen lots of moms showing more than I'd want to see, and I can't imagine parading around like that in front of your kids, no matter their age. I'd also imagine, that lots of folks that don't want to see moms in a bikini might be a bit on the jealous side. I mean, if you can wear one after having kids, who wouldn't be a bit envious?

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I do not think it is inappropriate . For me it is not practical, as my skin deformed when pregnant, but I don't view others wearing them as inappropriate .. ...

Mind you people wear inappropriate things all the time. If you have it flaunt it, if you don't well either expect people to talk about you behind your back or to your face.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.R.

answers from Orlando on

Heck no! Not inappropriate at all! Unless (IMO) you don't have the figure for it, and being a mom has nothing to do with that! I live in Florida, so lots of bikinis around here. To me, what is important is wearing something body appropriate/age appropriate. In my past I sported the teeny weeny bikini, and now at age 44 (with a 5 year old), I have succumbed to a skirted bottom, BUT only to hide the unfriendliness of gravity (Lol), not because I have a young child. Not sure what rock your friend lives under, except maybe the "jealous" and "judgmental" ones!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Wear what YOU like. PERIOD.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

It is okay to wear a bikini if it is age appropriate...children or no children.

However, you also have to take into consideration as to whether your children want to see you in the bikini. It may become awkward to your son, when his whole baseball team is raising brows at his mom's _____.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've had four kids and if I thought I could pull it off, I'd definitely wear a bikini. However, for now (10 mos post-baby), I will be rocking my tankini :)
I hope that my bikini days are not behind me for good!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Reno on

Never heard of that one...However I do wear a tankini with shorts because our 6 year old was at the pool one day, looked at me and practically shouted "HAHA! Look at these ladies wearing panties mommy!" Later that day he announced to anyone that would listen that he saw ladies wearing undies where everyone could see them!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Heck, I've seen some teenagers who shouldn't be wearing bikinis. I'm one of those mom's who appreciates a nice looking body (male or female) and there are some people who can rock a bikini and some who shouldn't...moms or not.

I personally am one who shouldn't wear a bikini, I'm a size 10/12 and have the mommy pouch, I feel that no one wants to see that. No amount of exercise, eating right etc. is going to get rid of what I have along with ungodly stretch marks. So, I'm a tankini type of M....but my siblings who didn't get my mom's genes can rock a bikini like nobody's business!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I wish I COULD wear a bikini and look good as a mom of two little kids. Believe me, if I had a bikini body, I would flaunt it. Tastefully, of course!

1 mom found this helpful

B.F.

answers from New York on

I think that is absolutely ridiculous. Why would it be inappropriate for anyone to determine what they wear based on whether they have kids or not?

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions