6 Yr Old Playing by Herself

I'd have to agree with your husband. Don't sweat it too much. I work with 4 year old's daily, and see this behavior in some of the kid's I work with. They'd rather stay with me and talk my ear off instead of playing with the other kid's. I do engage in conversations with them but do insist that they go play at a certain point so they don't miss out on the playtime. As long as she is happy, and is showing signs that her imagination is being used I wouldn't worry about it. Play with her and if possible bring other kid's into the playtime as well to promote her trust with friends, they will hopefully spark a bond. Good luck and I'll pray for you and your daughter.

signed: E. G.

My 6-year-old son plays by himself at the playground, and does the exact same thing at birthday parties! However, he has Asperger's. At school, he qualifies for some autism programs to help with social skills. Once a month instead of regular recess they have a play group with the teachers actually talking them through how to play together and cooperate on art projects together. For his speech class, he can invite 2 friends to go with him to play board games. He does seem to do better with just one friend at a time(like someone else mentioned otherwise the kids can gang up on him). He doesn't understand what the other kids like to play, he's not really into the same cartoons, video games, or sports. He is smart and relates well to adults, and that's why it took so long for the teachers to figure out that he needed more help. Some kids like this have trouble interpreting body language and facial expressions. I was always shy myself. I now wonder if it could have been partly due to being nearsighted.

You daughter sounds bright and maybe she gets bored easily. But I'm sure it's hard to see you little girl siting alone. Perhaps, if she has one little friend that she can talk to, you can have a "play date" with the child and her mom...even picnic together as families. Maybe she is painfully shy and ya'll just don't realize it because she's not shy with you and the family. Maybe she needs to get to know one or two little girls so she can find her 'nitch', so see what you can do to help her have time to 'grow a friendship' with a girl her age. Try this with only one other child, as with 3 together, it might turn out to be 2 against 1, which you don't want! just help her out a little....without pressure

did you stay at home with her until kindergarten? i used to be a pre school teacher and noticed quite often that if kids were used to other kids on a daily basis, (like the ones that went to daycare) were very social, while others seemed to be just a little withdrawn. the social part will come in time. as long as she is doin well with her academics, and is not complaining about kids being mean to her, i would not worry. good luck and God bless!!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time.
www.formyrugrats.com

Hello,
I am a pre-K teacher. I think this behavior is very normal for many children at this age. Some kids feel very comfortable discovering other intrests by themselves. Some kids do not make the ajustment to playing in groups until about second or even third grade. I would not worry about it unless she is letting you know she feels left out. If she is happy playing on her own you should allow her to enter groups of kids on her own comfort level. Also I would continue to have play groups out of school but don't pressure her to always be with the group when she strays off on her own or maybe she will be confortable with just one friend to play with at home rather than a group.
Good luck.
M.

Is she the oldest? If she is then she has oldest child syndrome where she has only had adults to mimick up until she started school. Sounds to me like she is pretty normal and quite mature for her age. She will eventually find her group of friends that she clicks with!

I guess I have two thoughts about this: First, I agree that a little bit of help getting to know her playmates one-on-one would help. Second, I think it helps to understand the difference between being shy and being an introvert. A shy person wants to be part of things, but just cannot bring themselves to do it, which would bring feelings of frustration or sadness. I am not shy, but I am an introvert, which means that although I enjoy being around people, it drains my energy and I need to be by myself for awhile to recharge. It sounds to me like your daughter is using playground time to recharge her batteries! The classroom can be a very social time, which she doesn't have any control over, but she does have control over her playground time. Unfortunately, that could cause problems with the other kids if they start viewing her as a loner. Which brings me back to my first thought. If she has one friend that she is very comfortable with (I have friends that I feel "at home" with in different situations), then being with that friend for playground time will be almost as recharging to her as being alone. She won't outgrow her personality, but she can learn skills to help her deal with the different situations she faces. I agree also that your daughter sounds very bright, if what she wants to do is go talk to the adults. While teaching her to learn when to give adults their space and not interrupt, I would encourage that part of her behavior. She will learn lots of good stuff from those adults!
Blessings,
J.
Christian homeschool mom to three beautiful grown girls, one wonderful son-in-law, two terrific teens, and one rambunctious, first-class boy

I have a 5 yr old boy who was doing that for awhile. Suggestion get friends to come over and get her to play tic tac toe, dominoes, uno or other interactive games. You can role-play by you and her social situations like "what would you say or do if....you see someone who just came into a group and doesn't know anybody?"....And wait for responses...that's right you can also say "Hi! I am Ethan-would you like to join us?", "Hi! I 'm Ethan -what's your name?", (using happy pitch, etc....) I did that with him for a while and have seen the fruit by seeing him implement and even approach other little kids at Chick-Fill-A, etc. ROLE-Play is awesome...it builds their confidence and you give them the social-speech-language tool to add to his repertoire to use if/when needed). I realized that he was super shy and frequently played alone because he was so shy.... super shy!
So give him tools (ie what to say in social situations). I was so surprised how he "bloomed" by just knowing what to say....i am super social and each child is their own person and don't always imitate others due to their own reservations and level of confidence.... but I think it may really help...and ask "open ended questions...." that require more than yes/no....like "How are you doing this morning?, what would you like to do next?", etc.

I believe she will outgrow it as I myself was a severe stutterer when I was growing up and that was tough...I am still super social.... Just relax and let her be as you encourage her and model social expressions....
SoniaC

My daughter is almost 6 and is not the most social kid. She is much more comfortable around adults and with younger or older children. I was the same way as a child; I distinctly recall simply not understanding the kids I was expected to play with. I didn't find the same things funny or entertaining. I am still that way somewhat as an adult; most of my friends are older or younger, few are within 5 years of my own age.

Her behaviour sounds perfectly normal for an eldest or only child, as well as a highly intelligent child. She probably just thinks differently than the other kids. If she is comfortable, I'd let her be.

Sometimes it does help to give her an idea of how to approach the other kids, some things to say or not say, but it depends on the kid. She'll find her way in her own time, but I know what you mean about not wanting her to feel left out! I have the same concerns for my daughter. In watching her, I've come to see that she has her own place in her classes (she splits kinder and 1st grade right now...she is much more comfortable in 1st grade) even if she is quiet about it.

Hang in there...we can't fight all their battles for them, nor yet protect them from every hurt, no matter how we try (and I for one wish I could!!)