5 Year Old Twins

Hi M.,

I think that splitting the kids up into different classrooms is a very good idea. Your other poster mentioned different learning styles, which is a very good point. My younger son had so much trouble identifying letters when he was 4 years old - it floored me because my older son caught on so early. I took him to a tutor to get help, and she tried several different mediums with him. None worked until she started having him work on the computer, using DK's Bear and Penguin "I Want to Read" program. That was a long time ago, but they have comparable things now if they don't have the same thing. My son loved it, and was willing to work on it, and then the lightbulb went on. They had a corresponding math program too.

This is really worth trying, but separate the kids so that his sister can't tell him what to do. Sometimes little girls are overbearing with their academic prowess when they are small. When they get older, they tend to do that a lot less. (I was one of those girls, by the way! LOL!)

Good luck!
D.

I agree with anyone who says put them in different classrooms. Also, start working with the girl on the tattling thing INTENSELY, now. No one likes a tattle teller! As twins they will always have a bond most siblings don't--it would be a shame to drive any wedge between them because the girl has a stronger personality. EVERY child needs and deserves the room to grow without a sibling overshadowing things all the time. Just my opinion! Bless you all!

As long as they are comfortable being apart, I would move them to different class rooms so they can become more independent of each other and they'll also want that separate privacy as they grow older. I had twin friends through-out the entire elem. school years and they were very different and never in the same class rooms. I think that will stop one from speaking for the other and telling everything about their joint classroom experience. Just sit with him and go over his work as often as possible without him getting discouraged. Siblings always seem to have one smarter and one that needs a little more help.

Girls tend to learn quicker than boys anyway , what you could do is try and do some extra work with him at home in the areas that he is struggling. My first grade son is finding Math very hard so we are working on it at home aswell , his teacher was all for this , try not to overload him , just 10-15 mins each day. Or if he does not have one , then you could consider a Leapfrog Leapster , you can buy educational games that help with number/letter recognition , simple spelling , games start from age 4. If he has a birthday coming up soon this could be the ideal gift.

It seems like boys aren't ready for kindergarten as soon as girls are. That is a generalized statement, so of course, it doesn't apply to everyone. Is their bday late in the year (late summer)? I'd hate to see him held back since his twin won't be, but maybe having them in different classes will help. I don't really know. Good luck!

As of mom of 5 yr old twins (boy & girl), I know what you are going thru. My daughter does a lot better in all areas of her learning. My son on the other hand is lacking in most departments, but it steadily doing better every 9 weeks. We decided to seperate them and the principal of the school recommends that.

Boys are a little behind girls learning wise. Both teachers and any other teacher that I know have always said that girls are "in to" playing school and learning faster...boys just want to play with cars, trucks, and the like.

I suggest that you may want to talk to both teacher & counselor at school or principal and see if you can seperate them. My daughter is like "mother hen" and she answers for him and it bothers him. By putting them in two different classes, I have seen him grow into being a 5 yr old instead of a 3-4 yr old. He has matured and gained more self-esteem. Not that I think he was lacking too much, but she is always looking out for her brother and he didn't have to answer or tell us what was going on because she did it.

We have to remember that they are two different individuals, but sometimes we as parents or grandparents have a hard time seeing it that way. I am SOOOOOO guilty of this. But I do see where he has done other things before her and she gets irritated that he does. For example...he has lost two bottom teeth, where she has only lost one. She is always saying this tooth or that tooth is loose and it really isn't but it makes her feel better that she isn't "behind" her brother too much. :)

This also may be true for your grandchildren....our twins are learning to read & write on a 1st grade level. Which is the new "norm" for our local school. Our daughters teacher has been a Kindergarten teacher for over 20 yrs and she even said that this new class work, makes them older than they should be. She believes that Kindergarten is for kids to color, play with blocks, learn simple things....but it is no longer like that. I find it hard on them as well. I look at the work they bring home and wow I am certainly amazed. The are expected to be reading at 1st grade level by the end of the year. It wasn't like that when I was in kindergarten over 20 yrs ago....we played a lot and learned basics.

As far as you helping him out...I sit down with both after school and do homework. She almost always has a weeks worth of papers to do. He never brings work home as homework unless he didn't complete the assignment at school. So since he is a bit lazy, we sit and write his ABC's, numbers, & name (first & last) paper and it reinforces him in what he has already learned but we make it fun at home. :) There are all kinds of workbooks at WalMart, Barnes & Noble, etc. that have different learning tools for them.

I also bought this cd off eBay called "JumpStart Kindergarten" and it is awesome! You put it on the computer and they go thru the different things they choose. Check out their website: http://www.jumpstart.com you can check it out before buying the cd. I bought it off eBay for a lot less money than it is sold for everywhere else.

Hope that this helps.

Take care,
God Bles,
J. D.

Gulfport, MS

Blessed Momma to Ash & AJ ~ 5 yrs old
Angel Momma to Baby C ~ November 2004
Angel Momma to Baby ~ May 2008

Definitely talk to the teacher for his/her opinion on keeping them together or splitting them up. Explain to the boy that he is a bright kid and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. Point out to him what HE is good at doing. Try to keep the "learning" situation at home very light or he may get turned off to schoolwork altogether. Games incorporating colors, shapes, counting, etc. Trouble, Sorry, any board game to count the spaces. Flashcards for letters. Good luck. I have a son and I think boys have a harder time adjusting to a classroom environment. They are just more active and find it harder to sit still and concentrate. It comes a little later for them. Much backlash on boys lately and so many are being diagnosed with ADD/ADHD when really they just need to run and jump. Best of luck to you & your grandbabies!

Encourage encourage encourage....He is prob feeling behind himself, and helping him understand that it is okay is very important. Girls learn so much faster on paper, mentally, but when it comes to hands on and sports, he will exceed her....Get him involved in some sports to bring him up:)

First of all she needs to be getting in trouble for tattleing. It is a serious issue in my house, there are certain situations that telling is allowed, such as activities that can result in harm, saying naughty words or hurting someone, the kids learn this every day in our home. Tattleing hurts the other person emotionally and therefore is harmful. Emotional injuries are lifelong.

With them being twins they need to be on the same level/grade at this time because he will process any differences and internalize it. He will start thinking he is stupid/dumb/slow and whatever he thinks, he will start acting like it.

Spend extra time with him without her being there to correct him, help him work on the basic things he is going to have to know for his school to allow him to go to first grade. Maybe you can attend class as a volunteer reader or teachers helper and can observe him interacting with his environment. He may need glasses or have some hearing issues, maybe he can't hear the teacher well, sometimes the flourescent lighting can interfere with the eyes ability to receive information and process it.

My thoughts on him moving are: it may be good because he'll get a fresh start, the new teacher may teach a different way that he'll be able to learn more, he may make new friends, etc.... As for keeping him in the same class and her moving: He may miss her terribly, depends on how close their bond is, but he would still have familiar things around, same teacher, same toys, same friends, etc.... As for keeping things the same I would just work daily with him, ask his teacher for ideas on what to do.

Good luck, I am raising lots of my grandkids as a grandparent. I know if one of the kids were having problems then I think these are things I would consider.