5 Year Old Behavior

Been there and still doing that!! My five year old does the same with making up things I have said. I finally stopped arguing with him about it and that has helped. If he says something then I firmly look at him, bending down to his level and I tell him that he knows that I did not say that, but if he continues this behavior he will go to his room and he has been sent several times, but I stay consistent and usually after that warning, he stops. Also, I go through the "forever" rantings also, I think that that might be do to the fact that they really don't have a concept of time. I taught my son how to tell time and that has helped some with that, because I show him on the clock how long it will be or on the calendar if it is days we are talking about. I just stopped giving in to the drams of it all and he doesn't seem to want to do it as much. Hope all goes well.

Actions speak louder than words, Mom. Explain it to him once, give him a hug and then ignore him, if he continues to obsess about it. Walk away, if you have to. Then, keep your word, when the time comes and quietly remind him that he's getting to help pick out the balloons and later on that he is at the party. Letting you help him with more and more things will make things easier, too.

I'm sure it's just a phase he's going through and no amount of telling him will work. But he'll continue to question you, as long as you give him that attention. Then your frustration makes it worse for both of you. Again, just give him a hug and tell him how silly he's being, then be still and wait till you get the opportunity to show him. He needs to learn to trust you more.

T.---My 11 year old is exactly the same way. He always has been. It doesn't matter what the situation is, he asks endless questions about it and many of them are the same question just worded differently. And yes, they all somehow come back around to "how does this effect me" and then the worry and stress comes across his face. I don't know what it is. I've always been confused by it as well. Even now that he's 11 years old you would think that he would have some capability of figuring out some things on his own, especially if it's something that we have gone through before. Even now some things take a tremendous amount of explanation and assuring him that he won't be forgotten or left out or inconvenienced in any way by something going on with the family. My husband had to sit down with him the other night about a punishment he received. It took more than 2 hours of round and round conversation as to why he was punished and how his behavior could be different in the future, but as of today, I'm not sure anything got through.

That "did you get them in the mail" question was right on key with the kind of questions we get from Joe. I completely understand your frustration and I know that I have reacted in ways that were probably not very productive, but after years of dealing with this kind of behavior, I'm not sure what to do about it either. I'm not sure if it's normal.

I really enjoyed reading the suggestions that you received. There are some pretty smart Mamas out there. The only thing that I would add is for you to read "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood": Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years (Paperback) by Jim Fay (Author), Charles Fay (Author). Something that I say A LOT, calmy of course, is "when your voice sounds like mine we can talk" or, "when you voice sounds like mine you may come out of your room". Another one is "I love you too much to argue with you." This book will cover both of these and more in detail.

Also, pray for patience for you and obedience for your son!

M.

Well my first question is, is he starting school for the first year? If so, that explains some of it. He is probably more tired than normal, and not sure how to deal with some of the anxieties and new feelings that he is having. Also, it is getting a rise out of you, and so he will continue. I agree that you need to make a simple statement about what the truth of the situation is, and send him on his way. If he wants to cry all the way to school, let him. He may need extra time with you after school so little brother will have to be otherwise occupied, but dont feed the drama..they love it. My 7 year old started doing this too a few years ago, and sometimes she still will, but I never entertain the theatrics and tell her that I would love to talk to her when she has calmed down and can remember what I really said etc.. It is a phase, but it will come around everyonce in a while too, so good luck!! ~A.~

Kids are pretty smart and pretty good at getting what they want. It sounds like he is really wanting the attention and argument you give him due to his response. Sounds like the best bet is to ignore. Respond once, like with the "forever" deal, say "no of course not forever, i said ______" and then if he continues say "oh sorry, I am not arguing right now." and walk away. Sending him to his room even is too dramatic and gives him more fuel. Just leave the room. Then later when he has calmed down sit down and have some game time or something so he sees when he is a sweet boy he gets attention, when he is crying and arguing he does not get attention.
This is what we have done with our kids' silliness and it has worked for us. When we stopped playing the game and stopped letting them control us we found out everyone was so much more even tempered. Good luck!

Kids are just...REALLY dramatic. I agree with the previous post. Tell him gently your explanation and leave it at that. If he continues to whine, tell him to go to his room until he can be a big boy. Tell him if he doesn't stop throwing a fit, he won't get to help pick out the balloons, etc. Can you tell I'm a briber?

I also very much agree with spankings...w/o the spanking, the dramatics go on and on and on and on...hang in there.

GL!

Thank you! My 4 1/2 year old is the exact same!!! I've worried about her because she has said stuff like that before and that we don't love her and she cries. I don't know where she gets that and it breaks my heart. I have noticed her being a lot more difficult since a baby brother intoduced into the picture almost a year ago. She's gotten so much more dramatic. She's even taking it to Mothers day out because she will tell me she sat alone and has no friends and I talked to the teacher who said that wasn't true-that she is friends with several kids in the class and they never sit alone. I look forward to reading the replys you get and thanks for posting!
You're not alone and I'm there with you on getting so frustrated!

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