40Th Birthday Party - - Exton,PA

Unfortunately I think you have to foot the bill unless you'd somehow made it known upfront you weren't. I did for my husband's 40th bc it was a "party" I was throwing so how could I then expect other people to pay? I don't ask people to chip in for a party at home... Likely they will bring presents since it's a big bday and you're making it an event. So that's their contribution. In terms of separate checks, I guess it depends how your friends do things. We have never requested separate checks even when we're all going to chip in. It would be considered very tacky and in a way insulting. In this case, it would be even worse in my opinion because you invited everyone to a party. Also, as a former waitress, separate checks are a huge burden and in a nice restaurant, sometimes not even allowed.

You have to pay and don't take money. Plain and simple.

You should definantely foot the bill. If it is too much $$ I would pare down the invites...or do what I did.

Do an appetizer buffet, or even just have the restaurant bring out appetizers and maybe even a large salad or two; so people can chat and nosh at random. Since we were at a bar/restaurant I had it casual in the bar area so people could mingle. I gave everyone three drink tickets so that when they presented them to the bartender they would know to put it on my tab...once the tickets were gone, they were on their own (my husband has some friends who have serious drinking habits, so I wasn't about to foot them getting their "drunk on," but still wanted to provide some of the libations).

Let the restaurant know what you want...they are very flexible. Even if you want to go full meal, you can have them pare down a specific menu with say 4 choices so you can control the amount it costs...and help the restaurant out to simplify the ordering.

Oh, and I wouldn't allow anyone to help with the bill.

Hi, Nikkie:
Usually people pay their own check.
Just to make sure let everyone know that it will
be that they pay their own check.

You can ask for separate checks when you sit down before you order.
Hope this helps.
D.

It depends on how you worded the invite. If you are worried about the budget, I would suggest working with the restaurant to do a "set menu" that includes beer, wine and soft drinks. Generally, the restaurant will put out 2 reds and 2 whites with a few beer options. They will then charge you for bottles that are opened (generally less expensive than "by the glass"). If people would like something other than what you have offered, they can pay for that themselves.

If you sent out a paper invite, odds are pretty good that people are expecting you to foot the bill. If someone offers, I would respond with "that's a generous offer, but certainly not necessary". If they insist (and some will), you could offer to have them "buy" a bottle of the wine or contribute to the gratuity.

If you invited and you are calling it a party, you pay. I recently was invited to a 40th "party," got a babysitter, went to the party and when the bill for my table came, everyone had split, thinking the host was paying. My husband and I got stuck with a $100 bill and we were PISSED, to put it mildly. We also spent $40 on our sitter. If I had known we had to buy our own, honestly I don't know if we would have gone. The host emailed me the next day when she realized, and she sent me a check for the price of the other's meals. DON'T let this happen. It is tacky, tacky, tacky.

You pay. People will give your husband presents, and some may give $ in his bday card, which will defray some of the cots. To keep cost down for my husband’s 40th, I did a “cocktail party” with just appetizers and drinks. I had the bar open until we got to a pre-arranged amount and then it switched to a cash bar. I did it later in the evening (8pm-11pm), so it would be clear that it wasn’t dinner.