2 Questions About a Wedding and Birthday Party. Please Help!!

There is no "law" that states you even need to get a gift. You are pouring enough money into this wedding already. You can even talk to her about it. How about you buy a housewarming gift at a later date? This is your sister, I hope she won't be hung up about a gift.

On your second question. I know of many parties where the gifts are not opened, especially when the birthday girl is so little. At this age, they don't use manners when opening anyway. You might even be embarassed that she rips something open and disregards it by tossing it on the floor.

Go ahead and wait to open them at home. You can teach her to take note of the gift, talk about who it is from and that you will need to thank them later.

I definitely think that 150 is more than enough to spend on a wedding gift- but some people say that if you are in the wedding, that alone is your gift to the bride and groom.

As for the birthday party, its not rude to open the gifts at home and write thank yous later. Honestly, at 2 years old kids don't want to sit through it, and you don't want the children seeing something that they like and have to make them part with the item! They just don't understand at that age, you know? Hope I answered your questions :)

R.,

First - I think $150 is more than enough for a wedding gift. That is what I normally give to my family members for their wedding, even if I'm not in it. And I think because you are in it and have spent so much already, you shouldn't feel obligated to give a huge gift.

Second - about the b-day party. Whenever we have a party outside of the house, we do not open the presents there and we take them home to open. If there happens to be extra time, we may open them there - but we do not plan on it. this way, the kids get to enjoy the party longer. It works out good for everyone.

Good luck with everything. And have fun at your wedding and b-day party.

C.

As far as the wedding goes... I think $150 is more than enough if you want to spend more than you've already spent. We got $100 from a couple people when we were maried (6 years ago), but they were uncle batchlors with no family or other expenses. My SIL gave us 1 night of our honeymoon which came out to about $80. (we stayed at a B&B for a couple night).

I love going to bday parties (of all ages) where the kids DONT open gifts with their guests present.........$150 is very generous & probably not expected...if you are going to give anything then give cash

Hi - We haven't had a family wedding lately so I'm not sure what the going rate is as far as monetary gifts so I can't help you with that part of the question other than suggest, if you are creative, and don't want to spend so much you could make something sentimental for your sister as part of the gift - maybe something pertaining to a childhood memory.

As far as the birthday party, my daughter has attended some birthday parties where the gifts have not been opened due to lack of time after the activity & eating. None of the kids seemed to mind - they were more excited about the activity anyway. At my daughter's last party we ended up having time to do gifts but the party person assigned to us at the location said many people take them home, especially with younger children as it takes them longer to complete the activity & eat. My daughter did enjoy receiving the thank you notes to know that her friends "liked" the gifts. Good Luck & have fun at both occasions!

Skip the opening presents, they only want to play with the first thing they open anyway, just make sure you take the gifts away as soon as everyone are in!

Have fun!

You have gotten a lot of good responses, but I wanted to add one more...
I know I did not want gifts from the people who were in our wedding. I knew how much they spent on dresses, tuxes, shoes, etc., and that was more than enough. Them being such a big part of our special day was the really important gift they gave. I know several other people who have said something similar, but I realize not all people feel that way. You probably know your sister best, and your sister is probably somewhat aware of your financial situation. That being said, $150 is generous, but possibly not necessary.

As far as a 2 yr old b-day party, Most 2 year olds don't want to sit still and watch gifts being opened, especially if it's at a jump place or Chuck E Cheese (or there's something more fun to do). I've been to many parties where the gifts were opened later, just make sure to send thank you notes since you didn't thank people in person.

$150 is very generous, especially since I am sure that your sister has to know how much you are spending on the wedding. I would give cash instead of a present though, because cahs always comes in handy!

As far as the birthday present thing, I never has my kids open presents at the party until they were at least 4. Saves confusion and crying for gifts that the guests can't have. 2 is a tough age to understand that everyone doesn't get toys!

Congrats on all your special occasions, and good luck!

That is plenty!!!!!!! I would even say 75-100. Weddings are getting out of control and who has money now a days?

I think your wedding gift amount is very generous, so don't worry. I also think it's okay, and even preferable, NOT to open gifts at the b-day party. Most kids' parties we go to (2 - 4 yr. olds) do not open the gifts at the party. It gives the kids more time to play. Also, you don't have all the friends opening the gifts taking the fun away from your child.

T.
www.mydiaperbabycakes.com

Regarding wedding gift - $150 is a generous and thoughtful amount to spend on a wedding gift. No cheapness there!

Regarding your two-year-old's birthday party: Two-year-olds can be unpredictable, combined with having a party at a different venue, other than home. I would opt for opening up presents, later, at home (after her nap, perhaps!) and enjoy a present-opening celebration, then. Plus, opening presents in front of "other" two years old and having your little birthday Princess screaming at her friends "That's MINE, don't TOUCH!", isn't always a pretty sight. I speak from experience.

Enjoy!

$ 150 is fine but I would give cash. You've already given a shower present etc so she has something from you. Trust me they would rather have money.

In regards to the bday party , not opening gifts is fine. You will not have time to have pizza cake etc in forty minutes . Some people do it but it would be more fun for everyone to wait.

So, I agree with everything you are planning ! Have fun at the wedding and birthday party :)

I have a friend who with her older child just took the presents home and opened them and sent out personal thank yous. I think that's fine if they are older and understand what's going on, but @ 2, I think part of the fun of the party is watching them open the presents. I am not trying to be rude, but having learned from my own mistakes, I would suggest a smaller scale party for a 2 year old...they won't remember it and it's too hard to do. I had a HUGE 1st birthday party for my son and it was stupid, it was hard on him and me. So, for his 2nd we just had a few friends and family over and it was much more comfortable.

As for the wedding gift, whatever you have to spend is fine and your sister should understand that. I have friends who asked me to be in their weddings and knew that I didn't have any extra money, so I was told not to buy a gift at all & I would think, being your sister she would understand completely. After all, your involvement in the wedding is a gift as well.

I agree with everyone else....

$150 is fine (not cheap)

It's not rude at all to have your 2 yr. old open gifts at home. It would be overwhelming for her to open them all at the party and it would give you a headache trying to remember which gift goes with which family when everything is being torn open. Do it at home and let her open them up at a slower pace. (Maybe two gifts a day.)

I've been to about 50 2 year old, 3 year old and 4 year old parties. It's really hard for them to sit still through present opening at that developmental stage and they want to grab everything they see, etc. Out of about 50 parties I've been too over the years for my kids's friends, only ONE opened their presents there and it was for a 5 year old celebrating at home with family and a couple friends. So, I think it would be well within the norm. I'm sure people do it, but I haven't seen it done before and I think everyone both understands and more importantly thanks you for it (if they have their own little ones in tow. I can imagine it might be different if it was all adults and a one year old.

At my wedding I had the best gifts and tons of money gifts, but I really believe one of, if not THE, best gifts I received was a picture (beautifully and professionally framed) of my non-drinking (and totally against alcohol) mother and father having a drink of beer at a party in the 1960's. I thought I would laugh my %$* off. I never had seen this picture and they looked so young and beautiful I couldn't believe it. They looked so human. It was just the best. Cost? With framing and copy of pic...probably less than 50 bucks. But as the commercial says .........
PRICELESS!!!