My youngest daughter will be 2 next week and her party will be at a local park. My older daughter has always opened her gifts during the party, as did my youngest daughter at her first birthday. My family is very generous and they always have a large number of gifts, so it takes quite a lot of time. The other children get bored and it seems to just drag on, even though the birthday girl loves it.
Recently, I have been to several parties where the child didn't open the gifts until the part was over - and I thought this was a great idea. I mentioned this to my mom & mother in law and both of them seemed almost offended. Even my mom, who I thought would like the idea mentioned that it might be taken as rude. I said how we would later send thank you notes, but she said that some people really want to see the child's face when they open what they've bought for them.
Anyway - what do you think? Is it rude not to open gifts in the giver's presence or is it socially acceptable now days?
We decided to play it by ear at the party. Since we had a limited time at the park's pavilion, we did gifts last. After lunch and cake (along w/ playing at the spray ground), we announced that we were opening gifts. My husband also pointed out that people didn't have to watch her open the gifts, and could continue playing or whatever it was they were doing. It worked out well... no one felt obligated to watch her open presents, but those who wanted to had the opportunity. Plus, the kids that did watch were really great about watching and helping with no fighting. Most of the kiddos sat watching her open gifts while holding the one they brought. They were all really excited to give her their gift personally and watch her open it. I think we'll continue to open gifts as we always have in the past. The guest really did seem to want to see it!
I do think that a LOT of people get offended when you don't open the gifts at a party. Maybe save the family gifts for later - however - a lot of the kids can't wait to see their friends face when they open THEIR gift. I have had people at parties where gifts weren't opened tell me how rude they think it is. I guess even though it can be a beating - it is part of the party - take the good with the bad!
Why not open the gifts from the other kids at the party and then do a family opening at home later?
My friend does a birthday breakfast for family and family gifts and then does a separate friends party. I know my kids are always excited to see their friends open what they picked out.
Hello AE,
First and foremost, it all depends on where you have your parties. I know I have been to several parties where the place just wrapped them up in a garbage bag and gave it to the birthday child at the end of the event. I, myself find that quite rude as well, however it is their b-day party and they can do it anyway they like.
On the 4th parties that I have had for my son, I allow time for him to open his presents. I think this teaches them how to be thankful and say "thank you" to his friends at the time they presents are given. IF your family is giving him "outlandish" gifts, then you should limit those to be opened at the party and give the birthday child the bigger presents later on their actual b-day or designate another time. I don't take any presents except maybe 1 or 2 to his parties except for the folks who actually attend. It does drag on and on and as you know kids attentions span is only so long.
So, just take a few of the gifts, say if your Mother buys 3 gifts for your child, just take 1 of them and then have a smaller celebration at another time and let them open those gifts later. Not only is that better, but it doesn't make others feel bad if their gifts is not comparable to a more grand gift. Plus, it doesn't make your child look greedy.
Both of my son's grandparents live far away, so we don't even take those with us, we leave those at home to open on his actual b-day date!
Good Luck!
G. B.
I wouldn't....and I won't ever do gift openings at a party again... not only is it a whipping but it's just... A WHIPPIN! Take a picture of your kid WITH the new gift and enclose it in the thank you card... let them all just have fun.... it's one thign for it to be in an controlled atmosphere or when they're older but at 2.... forget it... :)
We took the gifts home without opening them at my son's 2nd birthday party and it was WONDERFUL. The kids were more interested in playing (as they always are). All of the parents understood too, and thought it was a great idea. We had a table for the gifts that was out of the way, and simply told everyone "thank you" as they arrived and said that because opening presents steals time away from everyone having fun that we would open them later.
We made it a point to send out thank you cards with my son's personal scribble on them. You could even go as far as taking pictures as she opens the presents and send each person a photo of the child with their gift.
The grandparents weren't as thrilled with the idea, but they came home with us afterwards for gift opening, so they got to see him open them anyway.
Here's an idea for you that one of my family members did at her daughter's party. Instead of opening gifts in front of everyone as each guest was leaving she got the gift they brought and opened it at that time. Then the mom took a picture of her, the gift and the giver. It worked out great, everyone got to see their gift being opened, and it didn't take time out from partying for the other guests.
My niece just had her 5th bday party, and my SIL only invited close family 30 min before the party started to open our gifts to her. It worked out great! She saved the kids' gifts to her for after they got home. I think it's a great idea!
I don't think it's rude to open them after the party, however alot of people do like to see the birthday kiddo open their gifts. Other children especially like to see their gift being opened up. But, it's your childs party & your right, kids do get bored. I've personally been to some parties where the child didn't open her gifts, & no one seemed offended. I say go with what feels best to you.
I think opening gifts from friends should be done at the party, since a lot of kids love to see how their friend likes the gift they picked out (especially for older kids).
But family members' gifts can always be opened before/after the party. You can have a little family only get together either 20 mintutes before the party guests arrive or after the party where only family members come early or stay late to see their gifts opened (it has worked for us and a lot of other people I know).
It seems people would be mostly offended, perhaps b/c they want others to see how "good" their gift is compared to others? It's amazing how we bend over backwards to make our families happy! My relative has to throw 2 parties every year for each of her children b/c her parents and in-laws don't get along!
Anyways, good luck, it's about the children not the adults!
I like Gladys' advice about only taking one per family member to have opened at the party. The attention spans of children are quite limited, but I know most of them get very excited to see their friend open the present they picked out. I also think it teaches your child to show respect and a sense of thankfulness. How can you tell her that it's better to give than to receive if you don't also allow her to SEE that others do get excited to give?
Hello,
At 2 she'll need some help with the presents anyway so maybe you or big sis can help her out to get it over with a little quicker.
I agree that maybe the in-laws and family members gifts should be opened at another time. Maybe they can bring her the gifts on her actual b-day (if that's not the day of the party)
If it is the day of the party and they got offended by waiting to open theirs, then just let her open them.
She's so young, I doubt anyone's going to get frustrated if it takes a little longer.
The older she gets she'll be able to tear right through them and it'll be over before you know it.
So I would just enjoy the moment and if it takes her a little longer, everyone will survive! : )
Take Care and hope ya'll have a fun party!
We always save the family (mom/dad, grandparents, aunts/uncle) gifts for their actual birthday instead of at the party. We have the party on Saturdays for the friends, but of course family is welcome to come, and then their actual bday we have family over and do simple cupcakes and family presents then. The kids love it because they get two days worth of presents.
We didn't start opening gifts at the party for our older son until he was 5 years old. But, what we did do was ask the family and any close friends over to the house after the party to unwrap presents. That way there's not so many little ones to get bored and the family can share in the opening of the gifts!!
I vote for opening from friends at the party.
If you decide to wait till after the party, please make sure that your guests know your plan. I have seen children ask parents for 30 minutes, "mom, when will she open my gift?" and the mother say "I am sure she will soon, honey" and then hang around well beyond the time they intended to stay, just waiting for the gift opening to signify that the party is over.
AE,
I vote for saving the "opening of the gifts" until after the party. For parties that we go to, the parties sans "gift opening" seem to allow the guests to enjoy themselves more. And it is one less thing you have to sit through. For the one birthday party that I've actually given (we just had my son's 2nd bday party) we opened the gifts at home after the party was over and after he had his nap. He was rested. It was just me and my husband and our son. My husband helped my son open the gifts, and I swear my husband had more fun than ever. And my husband would not have been that relaxed in front of a big group. So, the gift opening turned into great family time.
I also do not like when inlaws and parents get very opinionated about my personal decisions. So, my first thought is to tell them that this is what you are doing and if they don't like it then that's their problem. But, as a second more generous option...you could always let them know when you will be opening the gifts and have them be present for that (soon after the party is over or after your son takes a nap, etc...).
Either way, enjoy your daughter's party and do what is best for you!
-A.
Hi,
I agree that to cut down on the present time, open family gifts at a later or earler time. When it comes to invited friends, I personally think it's a little bit rude to not open the gifts they generously gave of money and time to get for your child. If your kids are anything like my nine year old daughter, they will attend many many many parties over the years that will consume a lot of money and time so the least you can do is open the gifts (help out to speed it along) and verbally acknowledge their thoughtfulness as well as follow up with a written thank you. Hopefully the grandparents would understand if some of theirs had to wait for a more personal time :-)
We didn't open gifts at my daughters 2nd b-day party b/c we had a water party in the back yard and I didn't want wet kids on the carpet. So, what I did was let her open the gifts from the people who asked and then waited for the rest. Plus, after everyone was gone my daughter could open what she got from the grandparents while they were there as well and she got to enjoy it. Most the time it's open and shove aside but this way it was more intimate for the grandparents. Good luck with your decision. I wouldn't take offense to you not opening them!
