2 Month Old Will Not Sleep in Her Own Bed - Only Wants to Sleep While Being Held

She is so young, you still have hope!!!! You need to decide on how you want her to go to sleep and "train" her to do so. I'm sure you have figured out when she is most tired (after nursing, or after tummy time or whatever) so swaddle her up and lay her down and don't go back. Yes, I know it is excruciating, but don't turn around!!! Time her -- I always gave my baby 20 minutes ("if she is still crying after 20 minutes, I'll go get her") but usually, it didn't go beyond 5 minutes. It just felt like 100 years!! You can help her out with music, or darken the room or whatever, but I would not add too many "crutches" if I were you, because then she may always need that music playing... which may not be as easy to replicate at grandmas house. Sleeping on your own is a very important skill that needs to be well developed for the entire family to live a happy and healthy life. (did you see how many of todays postings have to do with sleep issues????) Good luck. Make sure your husband is on the same page with you and if you need help, ask a relative or neighbor to sit with you during those "screaming moments" or at least call someone on the phone who can talk you out of going into that room. You can do this, and you will be much happier when you do.

1 mom found this helpful

Each baby is different... my firstborn was very much like that too. My 2nd born is much more independent.

She probably likes your arms only, because it is nice and warm, cozy, snuggly, and like a cocoon (ie: like the womb). With my firstborn, we had to wrap her up...but still, it didn't always work with her. We tried all methods, even crying it out even though I don't like that method, but we were desperate.

What we did find is that my girl was just sensory sensitive...not in a bad way, but especially to noise and textures & temperature... this also made her fussy. And she had gas problems. She rarely farted. It was just something I/we dealt with... as she got older... it lessened. But, I did keep to a nap/sleep routine always. I always put her down for naps and sleep with the same routine, at the same times, and did the same thing everyday. This pretty much helped her to get settled down, as she knew the "schedule" and what to expect. Gradually, I could actually put her down, and after nursing, she would fall asleep.

Yes, it was very tiring, but this is what we discovered with our daughter. Thankfully, my son, my 2nd born is much easier. LOL. My daughter didn't even like the slings....she wanted ME to carry her in my arms. But after a time, I just could not... too tiring, and I would put her down... she'd cry, but I'd stay right next to her and play and get her distracted. It's a process....it takes time... and there is an adjustment period... but mostly, they just want the bonding and the closeness of Mommy. As they get older, you will miss that, in hindsight.

Maybe try a bouncy seat, a swing, or something that vibrates...

A couple of my friends, had this problem as well... with them, their baby wasn't getting enough intake.. .so the baby was clingier and never wanted to be put down, much less sleep or be away from Mommy. The baby was simply hungry and didn't get enough... one friend then found out she didn't have enough milk. The other, her baby was not suckling effectively enough...thus was not getting much in. Once they solved that problem and their baby was getting more intake and feeding... the crying and fussiness stopped and their babies slept better and was less clingy. This is just their experiences...

Try different things... I know it's not easy....but what will work for one baby, may not work for another.

She will grow, get bigger and heavier... and it will get harder and harder to carry her in your arms just to get her to sleep....but by then, she will get used to this "habit." Also, at this age, they still don't have control of their arms/legs or reflexes...thus as they sleep, their appendages will flail... and this ALSO startles them awake, thus screaming. They call it the "startle reflex." But this is developmental and will go away once their reflexes matures.

Breastfeeding is on demand, so yes, I did that too and woke up many times a night to nurse. I know this adds to the exhaustion....but it will pass.

Sorry I don't have a "magic" answer for you... just sharing what I and my friends went through, similarly.

Good luck,
~Susan

I had the same problem. It is likely a temperature difference and/or softnes issue. If you have an electric heating pad, put it on low on her bed, and remove it just before you set her down. Also try puting more cushion under her fitted sheet. One thing that also helped me was swaddling her with one of those Kiddopotamus velcro swaddlers you get from Babies'r'us. They can't wiggle out of them so easily. Just make sure you dress her lightly so she doesn't overheat. Especially during the time of her 2 month shots. Another thing I used to do at night was swaddle my baby and put one pillow on either side of me for arm support and hook her on to feed with her feet diagonal against my body. Sometimes that was the only way to get some sleep. It's tough but hang in there.

She is still so young and relatively unaware. What you do now can make or break your sanity for the upcoming months. I think a lot of moms fall into the trap of holding their babies to sleep because to do otherwise seems unmotherly. Trust me, you will regret it. My friends, my sister, and gobs of women from this chat form deal with this issue.

The swing worked miricles in our house to sooth our new born.
We even resorted to using it in the night. (Also a bit habbit forming, but at least a habit that gives mom some sleep).

Because of my difficulties with C-section infection and low milk porduction (resulting in 60 hours of week of breastfeeding and pumping, often a feeding took an hour and a half), I felt if I didn't put my baby down immediatly after feeding in her own bassinet, I was going to die.

I was so jealous of my friends who just held their babies to sleep. But I just couldn't. In the end, my baby was very good about just going down because we did it that way even from the first few weeks of life. I would stand over her bassinet and soothe her, but not always pick her up. I let her fuss, but didn't let her cry it out this young.

I don't have the answer for you but you are not a bad mom if you don't hold her every time she fusses. A good mom is a rested mom. Its okay to put your needs into the mix. You will be a better mom for it. Good luck. This is a trying time. I feel for you.

My daughter was the same way. The rocking eased her stomach problems (she suffers from acid reflux) and she liked the sounds of the rocking chair. We got a cradle swing at Babies R Us that did the trick. It rocks from side to side and back to front. I put my little one in and a few moments of rocking with my hand on her tummy does the trick. She's now 5 1/2 months and has slept in her swing since she was 1 month old.

Hi K.,
I read some of the responses to your request and I did not see one suggestion that I would like to add. If you believe it might be a reflux issue, prop up one side of her bassinett. Put a small towel or something under the mattress of the bassinett to elevate the head of her bed. Once her head is up a little higher than her chest, this could help her acid reflux. My youngest had this issue and once I elevated the head of her bed, her sleeping improved. Does she need to be held during the day to sleep? If not, I would try and figure out what is different about the day and the night. Best of luck...it is a challenge to get enough sleep, when you have small children...and working outside of the home only makes your sleep possiblity even less likely.

Take care and remember that this part of her life is just a brief time. Best of luck figuring out what it is you can do that can help your little one go to sleep.

You are in fact, co-sleeping. It's just as unsafe to hold your baby while she (and you) sleeps as it is for her to sleep between you. She could roll off of your chest and either in between you or onto the floor.
You need to break the habit now, before she gets hurt. Try using a white noise machine, swaddling, etc. to get her to sleep alone. She doesn't know that she's supposed to be put down to sleep, you have to teach her that. When you take her out of the cradle to feed her in the middle of the night, put her right back in there and keep your hand on her tummy until she falls asleep. That way, she knows that you're still there, but she'll learn that she doesn't need to be in your arms to sleep.
Good luck! I hope you get some sleep soon. :)

I'll share some tips that worked with my two babies. Tight swaddling (we swaddled until about 6 mos or so with both babies - they loved it!) and a sleep positioner (we got ours at Babies R Us, it has a little memory foam pillow and two wedges on the sides to keep the baby nice and snug in place). I only have two kids so I am no expert, but from what I have experienced and the advice I got from sources I trust, babies will get used to whatever they are given everyday. I always put my babies to sleep in their beds (with some exceptions, of course, but the norm was to sleep in their beds) so that became the place they preferred to sleep.
I don't know if you are open to letting her cry at all (I've read great arguments on both sides of this issue), but during the night, if she is fed, burped, clean and is not sick, I would put her down in her bed to sleep. If she fights it and cries, it will probably only be 5-10 minutes (I had to do this with my second baby, he never wanted to go back into his bed after his 3 am feeding). She needs to learn that nightime is the time for sleep, not for cuddling with Mommy - I noticed you are working, but I'm sure you give her lots of cuddling during the day when you are with her. Of course, it's much easier said than done. It might be easier if you were able to move her into her own room now, if you think you're ready for that.
Maybe check with her daycare and see what sort of routine they use for her when she naps. If you can mimick that at home it might help her.

Like some of the other moms said, swaddling is wonderful. Also using the heating pad in her crib and placing a shirt you have worn that will have your smell on it will provide her a bit of you but not you to comfort her.

My daughter had reflux, eventually it does go away. Try elevating her slightly. I got a wedge from Tucker. Also check out the following website for helpful information for her, http://www.infantreflux.org/Index.htm

Check out http://www.hotslings.com/ they have very comfortable slings with no buckles.

Good news at this age she can't be spoiled. My girl was the same way. The only thing that worked.....swadle her tight and we but her in a bouncy seat. She slept in the bouncy seat for three months. I swadled her for 6 months. Other friends had their baby sleep in a swing. As long as they're strapped in properly they're fine. Swadleing her is key. If you're not sure how your local hospitals can show you. The tighter the better. It seems uncomfortable to us but they love it!!!
Good Luck
T. H
P.s. my daugter is 2 now and she sleeps great and has for a long time

My 8 year old son was the same way. Dr. Sears calls this baby "High Needs." (My 4 year old daughter was not.)
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/t050100.asp

The sling saved my sanity. (I became a sling expert. I couldn't figure it out for the first 5 months, cursed the money I spent on it, then went to a La Leche League meeting and BEGGEd for help.)

Co-sleeping saved our sanity.

Ever read THE CONTINUUM CONCEPT by Jean Leidloff? That helped change my perspective. Instead of seeing this whole situation as a hardship, I started to feel grateful I had a son like this, because this way he was getting his needs for touch and movement. OUR BABIES, OURSELVES is another good book - an anthropologist looks at babies and evolution and biology and it makes so much sense. (He would cry when I put him in the stroller. After I read the CC, I stopped using the stroller entirely and relied on the sling. I only used the stroller for naps. Something completely clicked in my head for the better (for us). I'm NOT saying you should martyr yourself.

If you really want to learn more about this topic... THE VITAL TOUCH by Sharon Heller, PhD. See an Amazing Babies DVD:
http://www.amazingbabies.com/info/dvds.htm

He could NOT sleep without being touched. I had to hold him (or lie next to him) so he could nap. That went on to about 6-7 months, then I discovered I could leave a small, firm, baby pillow (GRACO used to make these) to hold his back, so he slept on his side.

I wanted to co-sleep from the outset. DH was adamant that it was "not safe." Well, look who was born - the most HN baby on the block... The first few nights at home, I was paranoid about rolling over on him (not knowing any better) and I slept like a PENCIL. I was stiff and straight all night and I could not relax. My son did not make a peep as he was peaceful and relaxed.

By night 3? I started to relax and I realized something amazing. There was no way on the planet I was going to roll over on him and not know it. I noticed that I started to get into a rhythm with him... I started to naturally wake a few minutes before he did, ready with my boob to feed him. I slept SO blissfully and peacefully. I had this immense sense of well-being and peace knowing he was RIGHT NEXT to me and if he needed any help (choking or something) I could help him.

(The hospital was a nightmare for him. He was alone in the bassinet most of the time, howling his head off. I worried that the stress altered his brain. He is OK. I made sure we both had a very peaceful first year.)

Why is co-sleeping not a safe choice for your family? You are already doing it at night, except you are upright and holding him. And you are losing sleep because you can't relax.

Have you read Dr. James McKenna's website? (Do a google search for James McKenna & Sleep.) He is a sleep researcher who researches mother/infant sleep patterns. Here is his website. He runs a mother/baby sleep lab. (When I read his research, it backed up my experience.)
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

There is an article on this site that is titled "Why babies should never sleep alone."
http://www.naturalchild.com/james_mckenna/

His research has shown that co-sleeping can be safe OR unsafe. The times babies have died co-sleeping is because they were in unsafe conditions: Adult and baby on a couch, baby slips through crack. Mother or father on medication and unable to respond to sleeping baby. Etc...

But if you are "normal" and not smoking or drinking or under the influence of any drug. If you are sleeping on a firm mattress, beside your baby (breastfeeding is a pretty idea set up as your body is getting in tune to your baby) then it is pretty safe. Your 5 week old isn't even rolling around yet.

And the thing to realize is that for human babies, they have evolved to expect a human body next to them at night, breastfeeding them. That is why they scream at night. (Being left alone, in the dark, where some predator can get you... our ancestors NEVER did that. Babies brains (and toddlers BTW) have not evolved to know that your street is safe, that there are no predators in the neighborhood and that you no longer live in a cave or tent, but in a strong house is a locked door.)

Some babies (my firstborn, your second) are better (more determined) to get their needs met. That expectation is their "normal." Unfortunately, we as a society are not socialized to expect this. We expect to put them in a crib in another room and have an uninterrupted peaceful sleep.

(Advice from experts is conflicting.
The current AAP policy does not support it. (Is that still right?)
http://www.nd.edu/~lumen/2005_12/InfantCo-sleeping.shtml

La Leche League (they provide FREE breastfeeding support for mothers and families) endorses it.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission - representing crib manufacturers and all the companies that go into setting up infant sleeping - their stance (against co-sleeping) has put fear in parents. Yes the horrible deaths are tragedy, but again they were unsafe sleeping conditions to begin with. It does not mean co-sleeping itself is bad.

More articles and analysis of the CPSC stance:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/sleep.html

The only advice I have is... to go with the flow. Find a way to accept this situation and live peacefully with it. Find ways for it to work for you and your family.

Get help... do you have helpful family that can fly in to help you???

I almost lost my mind the first 3 weeks at home with my son. I held him in my arms ALL day afraid to put him down (he would scream). I was a mess. I was exhausted. DH did not feel comfortable holding him. My sister flew in from the East Coast, stayed with us for 2 weeks and held him for 2 weeks. Literally. That helped me to shower alone and collect my sanity.

This is really hard when you are not expecting it. Know that you are not alone. Once I got my bearings (and found things that really worked for us - slinging & co-sleeping), things were a lot better.

She may have GERD. Our son had it and that's how it first started. Whenever I put him down he cried - he didn't even like swings. The flap from the esophagus to the stomach isn't fully developed so it's like acid reflux. When they tip the contents and acid come up into their throat and it hurts! Does she spit up a lot too - he did that also but it may have started a little later than 2 months. Talk to your pediatrician about the possibility of Reflux or GERD. He grew out of it by 12 months old but we had to hold him upright for 30 minutes after each feeding and tilt his bed etc. I had to pull over in the car often and burp him.

I had the same problem and the cradle swing did the trick. He slept in it for naps and all night for 5 months. He had tummy problems too. We ended up getting 2 of the swings. One for upstairs and one for down. I'm not sure what I would have done without them!

My son went through that same thing and it was so frustrating!
Different things worked on different nights- I would put him in his swing sometimes with a pacifier or with the white noise setting, or sometimes I would swaddle him with his hands tucked and then he couldn't move around so much, it helped him from waking himself up- and sometimes I would put him in his bouncer seat and leave it on vibrate all night. I know how exhausted you become night after night of trying to calm your screaming baby every 30 minutes, but if it makes you feel any better, it was just a phase he went through and he bacame a really good sleeper! I hope you find something that works, good luck :)

Dear K.,

This is not healthy for you or the baby or the rest of the family. You need to get your rest, that is number one. The baby will cry, but let her, experience is the only way that you can teach her right now. Babies are very smart and they catch clues from us, so just be confident, and tell her a sweet good night, and leave, and she will cry and get over it.
Amen, C. N.

Hi K.,

My 4 month old was doing this at same age because her mattress was to firm. I tried placing a thick, firm quilt down to give her some cushion adn now she sleeps through the night like a champ!

Good luck!

In addition to what everyone else said my son wouldn't sleep through the night until I was so tired one night I just put him to sleep in his clothes instead of pajamas and a blanket. He slept beautifully-I was afraid something had happened to him. It turns out he was too hot in his sleepers and blanket. He also hated being wrapped up-I knew this but everyone says they're supposed to be wrapped so I did. Keep trying and find out what makes her most comfortable.
He also hated his car seat so I got a mirror to put on the back seat so he could see me and sang and talked constantly. He didn't really get happy about the car until he was big enough to be turned around and he could see everything and be part of it, but this stuff helped.

On the bright side my son is a love bug now. He snuggles and hugs and kisses even in front of his friends who wouldn't dare act that way with their moms. He sits on the counter while I make dinner and we have a wonderful friendship now. Do what you need to to get through but as she get older you'll appreciate her love and relationship with you.

You might get this too late but I'll respond anyway. I did not try putting my daughter in the basinette until she was 3 months old. Before that she slept with me in my arms also and I nursed and supplemented with formula during the day because I have implants. What my husband and I did right from the beginning is he did the 3:00-4:00 A.M. feeding so I could get some more sleep. Maybe try that and in a couple of weeks or month, start trying to put her in the cradle. It takes a while though and have your husband help.

Hi K.,
Sounds like discomfort to me. Our son had GERD- and it could be that. If, so, it is very painful for them to be laid down, because acid backs up into the esophagus. Keep her in your arms upright as much as possible and when you get tired, one of those "bouncy chairs" which was quite upright helped us a great deal. In fact, our son slept the night in one for quite a while.
It might be tough for a while, but hang in there- they do outgrow it.
S.

i had to hold my now 9 month old daughter too. then we got the Miracle Blanket and it saved us. she also had some issues with something in my diet that i had to eliminate, which i think might have been causing reflux (the laying flat was just a no go.) maybe try elevating her mattress? we didnt co sleep in the same bed, but had her in a cosleeper next to me also nursing several times a night. the miracle blanket helped her sleep in longer stretches.

Just give her time, she's only 2 months old. She'll grow out of it. My son (now 18 months) was the same way - I think I held him for 8 weeks straight. I think they need that physical closeness as newborns. Maybe small increments of time in her cradle will help her get used to her bed. Are you swaddling her? The Miracle Blanket (a swaddling blanket) is a life-saver.

Our little guy was like this too -- needed a lot of contact and nursing all night. Recently at 11 weeks he suddenly got a lot better -- now my sleep is limited only by when my breasts get too full! At first we were congratulating ourselves for figuring out the perfect formula, but I'm starting to think it might be that he simply grew out of it somehow. (So you may be close to a reprieve!) But this is what we try to do that seems to help:
-- sunshine during the day
-- an outing, at least a walk around the block
-- bottle of formula after bfeeding at night (I know, but we've been forced to supplement a little -- and bedtime is great cause it really helps him sleep)
-- sleeper pj's with feet
-- swaddling (at first the waffle weave blankets were best, then he outgrew them and the muslin ones are great, very big and light)
-- we got our cosleeper bassinet to the perfect height by nestling it in a dresser drawer on the floor, where it just happens to fit perfectly (and very safely -- the little tubes fit snug on the outside edges so no wiggling and can't fall). This allows me to easily reach a hand over onto his belly if he fusses a little, without sitting up. I think this helps him feel that I am right there and he feels more secure.

Also for awhile a paci helped at night.

BTW, I think having a cradle next to the bed is considered co-sleeping too -- you get most of the benefits, and a better night's sleep. If you want to try the cosleeper bassinet, it's only like $100 (Simplicity 3-in-1 Convertible Bassinet).

Good luck!

PS -- after reading some of the other responses, I want to add that I am really glad we haven't done CIO. I mean, we try not to overreact every time he fusses or cries a little during the day, but I think it's appropriate to be as responsive as you can at this age. Maybe your husband can help? Mine is a pro with bouncing the baby to soothe him (be gentle if it is a reflux problem). If you get too exhausted you'll be no good to anybody. :)

On th bright side, at least your baby knows how to express her needs! This will ensure she gets a lot of attention in daycare, if she won't allow people to ignore her!

Watch the dvd or read the book "the happiest baby on the block." It's the best sleeing/soothing book ever!
I thought that my daughter could only sleep on me until I read this book. She is 6 months now, but has been very happy sleeping in her crib since she was 6 weeks old.
Good luck.

I had this issue with my daughter. I realized that she just wanted to be held and comforted. Once I just accepted it, it got easier. I did sleep with her on top of me. I propped up my arms with pillows to make it safe. I had to sleep on my back and was always very aware of where she was. I was just very careful not to drink or take any medicine that would make me sleep deep. Everything was fine. My husband slept next to me but because she was on top of me and the pillows acted like a protection barrier she never rolled or moved. This was the only way I got any sleep. I was finally able to get her to sleep in her crib at 4 1/2 months. It took a month and 1/2 of trying every day and night. Some babies just need more comforting than others and I wanted her to know that she was safe with her mommy. That's all she wanted, so I couldn't deprive her of it. Good luck.

have you tried wrapping her up in a receiving blanket nice and snug, like being held in your arms???

I have a high needs baby as well, so I do feel your pain. I don't have a "miracle" answer for you, other than keep trying different ways to get your sweet girl to sleep - enlist dad's help. The swaddling ideas are great - in the hotter months make sure you don't put PJs on her, just a light breathable (cotton) blanket, as over-bundling can lead not only to more waking but also a fever.
I had to wear my daughter a lot as well. She hated her car seat till we turned her around after 1 year, and even now she doesn't really like it.

There is no easy answer.

What I do want to say is DO NOT listen to those who say that breastfeeding is the problem! Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child. The reason why breastfed babies do not sleep through the night is because breast milk is a "complete" food therefore digests more quickly.

You are doing the right thing by listening to your instincts and responding to your baby's cues. However you need your rest and your baby needs a well-rested Mama. There will be some rough nights regardless. You just need to move at a slower pace the next day. And Mamas of high-needs babies and children require lots more help from Dad to stay sane!
I'm sorry I can't give you more helpful advice. Just know there are other moms who have been there and are there.

You're doing a great job!
Good luck.

Hi K.,

it's possible she could be going through a growth spurt right now. remember, a full and satisfied baby (at this age) will

fall asleep at the breast and stay asleep when taken away from mother
has arms relaxed and open
has hands open
your breast will feel empty or lighter than before the feeding

just because she has stopped sucking and has her eyes closed does not mean she is completely full. she may need some coersion to finish the feed. try burping her or checking her diaper then offering her the other breast.

sorry if all of this sounds redundant because you're already doing it.

once you're certain she's full and satisfied, swaddle her well. depending on how cool you keep your house will determine how thick your swaddle blanket should be. more and more stores now stock swaddling blankets made or muslin cloth. it is a very thin fabric that is great for warm weather. righstart.com has some and many other stores i'm sure. do make sure that the swaddle is secure enough that she won't wiggle out of it in a few minutes. you'r trying to mimic the tight fit she felt when she was still inside you.

good luck with everything! i hope you find a good solution soon. :)

I don't have any really revolutionary suggestions, but can offer a voice of support and say that I think it will get better. My baby was similar and grew out of that about a week ago. He is 3 months old. In any case, what worked for us best at night was swaddling. He often hated the act of getting swaddled, but once he was swaddled and soothed, then would allow us to lie him down and the swaddle helped him from waking himself up with flailing arms. Also, swaddling him in a "swaddle me" and then putting him in his swing, turning on the hairdryer - that combo would put him to sleep and allowed us to not have to hold him the whole night. Good luck!

Hi K., this may sound harsh, but if you don't nip this in the bus it will get worse. At 2 months old she doesn't have a will not to do something, it is your job to develope good sleep habits in her, this is why I don't like the breast feeding, dad can't feed the baby, and give mom s break, my husband loved feeding our babies, weather breast or bottle fed they need to be held and rocked to sleep once she is a sllep lay her down, but you can;t keep picking her back up every time she cries, because all you are teaching her is to cry and youget picked up. I'm sure you have read all the stories about breastfed babies not sleeping in their own beds or not sleeping through the night, I read this problem at least once a day throughb mamasource, I just responded to a mom who is breast feeding a 15 month old do you believe it, and the 15 month old isn't sleeping through the night, this toddler not even an infant anymore, cries for a mid night feeding I would laugh if it wasn't so sad. Don'y find youself where this mom is, nip this thing in the bud. I have a 7 week old in my daycare who is bottle fed, I hold her when I feed her, I hold her while I am playing with her, I even rock her to sleep, but if she wakes up and starts crying right after I put her down, I don't grab her back up, I may rock her car seat to soothe her back to sleep, but I don't pick her back up. what i do do is I pick her when she is NOT crying, so she will learn she doesn't have to cry to get attention, and I have only had her for 2 weeks, and sometimes when she wakes up she doesn't cry, cause I think she knows she going to get picked up. Holding all the times is not good foryour baby, and like you said you are tired. J.

We had the same problem with our youngest (we have 4) and didn't understand it, the others had never done that! But it turned out he had reflux, so he was always hungry, not able to eat enough to satisfy himself. So we would sit him up in his seat for 30 minutes after eating and I would take off my shirt that I had just had on and put it under his head so he could "smell" me, and he would sleep better that way. Crazy, yes. But as a working mom who was sleep deprived I was willing to try anything. You should also talk to the doctor about supplementing his diet, your milk may not be nourishing him enough, I had to switch to formula, what a difference!

K.,

My first child was like that and I never did figure out that reason until I had my second child and he was even worse. Turns out both of my kids are intolerant to dairy proteins and my second child is also intolerant to soy proteins. My first child suffered because I didn't know what the problem was. But once I eliminated all dairy and soy (even that hidden in other foods) it only took a few days and he was like an entirely new baby. He was happy and he slept. It was like a miracle. We also treated my second child for reflux (he has silent reflux which means his stomach contents go back up his esophogus but don't actually come out his mouth - so it is like non-stop heartburn) but once we got his food intolerances figured out, his reflux was 99% better.

I would highly recommend you explore the food intolerance issue. Most pediatricians (even my pediatric GI doctor) know nothing about food intolerances in breastfed babies but any mom who has been there and done that will tell you they are real. And treating them can make a world of difference in your quality of life and the quality of life of your baby. I firmly believe that most kids who have so much trouble sleeping are in pain. If you can eliminate the source of the pain, they will sleep. If you want more info let me know. I was dairy and soy free for over a year. Starting an elimination diet is hard but maintaining it is not. I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it made for my son. He went from never sleeping unless he was held to sleeping for 4-5 hours at a time. As another working mom, I'm sure you can appreciate what a difference that made for me.

And do ask your pediatrician about reflux. Babies who don't like to be set down and who don't like to be squished into a car seat most likely have reflux. And reflux can be seriously aggravated by food intolerances. So the issue may be one or the other or both.

Good luck!

T.

Try swaddling her tightly(but not too tight). Also check out The Happiest Baby on the Block.

GL!

OMG I had that child!I hate to say this, but nothing much really helps at this age,not until she's a bit older and you can let her cry it out. Infortunately you can't do that until she's 6 mo or so. Sometimes really tight swaddling helped, as well as one of those pads you put under the crib that vibrates slightly.

There are some things you can do to help her going forward. Does she have a transition object such as a favorite blanket, toy etc? If not, or you're not famiiar with the idea do some research and try super hard to help her develop one so that she has a comfort item when she's crying it out !

Another thing to be aware of. This need to be held can be the hallmark of some aspects of a sensory integration disorder. Who knows if it pertains to you, but I would keep it in mind. We in So Cal are lucky in the sense that Dr Connie Lillas, who is truly the "it" person in sensory integration disorder, is located in Alta Dena. It might be worth a phone call and see if she has any ideas etc. If you do decide to check out sensory integration disorder on the internet, don't freak out, most kids don't have every symptom, just touches of some. My non sleeping oldest (now 13) definitely has aspects of this, and the info she gave me when she was younger was suepr helpful.

Good luck!

Its probably the way you are putting her down. When you lay her down in the crib make sure she is tightly swaddled and hold her in place for a couple of minutes. Hold her in place with some pressure, not to hurt, but so she still feels held and can't move. Then SLOWLY release the pressure. If the transition is too abrupt they wake up.

Good luck!
~N.

Hi K.. I feel for you. You are in the toughest times transitioning from one kid to two. You are still in the training of your baby to follow a schedule. She has a different personality than you oldest, I am sure. Just stick to your 2-4 feeding schedule and put her down. Make sure that her bed is comfy and not cold. I used a heating pad to make the crib warm (remove it before putting baby back). There is no way out of it, you are doing things right. You just need to be cheered on. My own experience is this: my second son did not sleep through the night until he was 8 mos. I hope this does not happen to you. He is my strong willed child, but he is the biggest sweety now at 8.