2 Month Old Only Wants to Sleep in My Arms

Some of them are like that. It's exhausting, but if you accommodate him now he will be well-adjusted later. You're right -- he shouldn't cry it out this young.

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I agree with Jessica O. Co-sleeping can be safe - and allow you to get much needed rest! My 6-month-old daughter still co-sleeps with me and goes through phases of needing me to hold her to sleep - she eventually gets so exhausted (after about an hour) that I can lay her down next to me for the night.

At 2 months, it's way to early to CIO (personally, I don't believe any age is ever appropriate, but that's just me - every mother has to make her own decision) - but I'd say go with your maternal instincts which tend to tell a mother NOT to CIO.

Bottom line - I highly recommend co-sleeping as what your son seems to need right now - especially if the other suggestions don't help. Try the book "Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent's Guide to Cosleeping" by James J. McKenna which gives a very thorough review for how to co-sleep safely - and it's a quick read (a bonus for exhausted mothers!). James McKenna is an internationally recognized expert on co-sleeping and has documented countless hours of co-sleeping mothers and babies (and all the positive benefits) at the sleeping lab at Notre Dame.

Good luck!

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My boys were the same way. I recommend wearing a tshirt all day/all night so it REALLY picks up your sent. Then, when it is time for your baby to go to sleep, swaddle him in it. He will smell you and will be soothed to sleep...

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Are you swaddling him? He may just like the pressure of your arms. A real tight swaddle can serve the same purpose. Also try white noise. These two things often help infants sleep better without being held. I don't know if you use a pacifier or not, but that sometimes helps too. My son was like this for the first month of his life until we found what would work for him. We also elevated the mattress (pillow underneath one end) and that helped my son sleep better too. He really didn't like being flat on his back. You really need to just keep trying different things until you find what works. I spent more than one night on the couch with my son in his swing out of desperation. Try to get a friend or family member to help out one day so you can take a nap while they watch the baby. You would be suprised what a couple hours of a good nap can do for you. It will feel like you slept for 6 hours instead of just a couple when you are that sleep deprived. Also during the day if at all possible nap if he does, even if it means sleeping on the couch with baby on your chest. The more sleep deprived you get the harder it seems like everything else gets. Sleep is so important, try to do whatever you can to squeeze any extra in.

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Swaddling, white noise (noise machine or fan in room), mommy's nursing pads or clothing for your scent....
With our first I co-slept for the first months out of desperation for sleep. With our second, we went almost straight to co-sleeping because it seemed the best solution. I know co-sleeping gets bad press, but, in a safe bed, with non-incapacitated parents, it is not unsafe, and it is certainly what our little newborns evolved to expect.

By the way, our 2.5 year old sleeps through the night in his own room and has for a long time, and our 10 month old sleeps in his room and only wakes once a night most nights. Babies are such different sleepers. With our first we felt we had no option but CIO when he was around 8 months old. Our second has always been a better sleeper, and I don't plan to ever do CIO -- it is too hard on mommy!

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I too have a 2 month old. This is my second and with my first she was the same way. I bought one of those sleep positioners for her bed and it has worked wonders. Good luck and just keep on trying. I know it is hard, but you can do it :o)

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I found a hanging baby swing online that suspends from a spring, and has the ability to hold my baby so she feels safe and secure. The slightest cry from her, and I tap the swing softly and the bounce/rock sends her back to sleep without me touching her. She sleeps most soundly in this item. I found it on Ebay. There's a brand "Amby Baby Swing", and there's an off brand you may find there for less money (That's the one I purchased.) I recommend it for colic too.

Another mama recommended the vibrating chair: also a great idea, seriously whatever works.

When that didn't work, I would fall back on nursing her in bed for sleep for myself. She's almost two now, and the closeness has only benefited us.

I hope this helps...

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HI M.!

Your little boy is still adjusting to the "real" world :o) He's been nice and cozy inside of you for 9 months, and still needs to feel close.

Make sure he is wrapped in a receiving blanket to feel comforted. Also, make sure he has burped.

You're doing great M.! your instincts are good! Try to have patience. You and your son are simply adjusting to eachother. He doesn't know that you're not getting enough sleep because of him, so don't be mad at him for it. Just snuggle him and give him what he needs. He will love you for it!

Congratulations on your new arrival!

~N. :o)

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Hi M.,
I HIGHLY recommend reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for age appropriate sleep needs and schedules. My daughter was colicky and wouldn't sleep anywhere but in my arms either. I ended up co-sleeping for the first 3 months and napping when she did. At about 3 months old, with the help of Dr. Weissbluth's book, I got her on a great sleep schedule and moved her into her own room. She was sleeping through the night from that point on. Swaddling helps if he likes it, Paige HATED it, but I found that if I got her back to sleep within 2 hours of waking she went to sleep and stayed asleep. Dr. Weissbluth's book does talk about crying it out but I couldn't do it at that age. Email me, I have lots of different things you can try.
Sincerely,
L.

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Hi M.!
I agree withg Page - he's way too young to cry it out! I know you're exhausted, just try to sleep when you can and remember that this will pass. One day you'll actually want to be able to hold him while he sleeps! Have you tried letting him sleep in a cradle-style swing? My daughter loved the movement and because of the seat angle, she felt very cradled and secure and slept much better until she was old enough to sleep in her crib. (Fisher-Price makes a good one I think.) Best of luck!

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Hi - I went through this with my first and finally put him down in the Fisher Price Baby Papasan chair -

http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Baby-Papasan/dp/B0000C...

He did, and now my two month old twins sleep great in this chair - in fact, we only had one, and when one of our twins was sleeping so good in it - we went and got another one. It has little flaps in it where you can tuck a blanket in real tight, and it like, cradles/swaddles them.

Anyway, good luck!

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2MONTHS!!! that skin-to-skin is what will help your babe develop normally and heathily. moms are supposed to hold babies. that's the whole point.

Hi M.,

You might try swaddling. It might make him feel more secure, like being in your arms. We swaddled our son until he was 5 months and he is a great sleeper.

Good luck,
D.

I say hold him and be tired. They are so small at that age and it's a big world! Let him fall asleep in your arms and then try to lay him next to you so you can try to rest. Or hold him in a recliner and sleep. I have so many pics of my dad holding my daughter like that when she was a couple of months old. Both napped well!

Good luck!

I'm not a fan of the "Cry it out" method on any age baby. 2 months is too young to be able to soothe himself. He needs you. Mine is now eight months,but when he was little it was the same thing. I made his bed soft and more snuggly. He took to it fine. Now he has a quilt on top of his mattress to make it a little more like a real bed. Even so, I hold him whenever I can :)

can you have him sleep with you in your bed, then you both can sleep- it worked well with my son, we transitioned him to a crib for naps and then bed time at 4-5 months old. It was easy to just roll over and nurse every few hours when he was that small. We got a bed rail for one side of the bed so he or I couldn't fall off
good luck

Hi M.,

Congrats on your little one!! I know that you are tired, but there will come a day that your little one won't want to sleep in your arms. Needless to say you need some sleep now. I agree with the importance of skin to skin and getting others to help you so that you can get some rest. When my son was as young as your he loved to sleep in his car seat. He fit snugly in it and I would tuck a receiving blanket around him - it was almost like he was swaddled. He would nap during the day and sleep at night like this when I was super sleepy and needed to rest. He also loved his swing. If you don't have one see if someone you know has one that you can borrow. Best of luck! Also, when your little one is sleeping try to lay down also. You need your rest and other things can wait. :)

Put him in bed with you. I had both kids sleep in my bed and they slept fabulously.
Or...take the side off of the crib and fix it into a co-sleeper bed.

I never liked the crying it out thing either. But I did lay them down and pat them on the back to sleep at first. Best to stop b4 they are completely asleep. Let them cry for a minute or so and then go back and comfort without picking up. I think security that you are there is very important but they need to learn independence too. It's a fine line. Good Luck.

M.;
Try also putting something next to him with your scent, even a somewhat clean burp cloth could do the trick.

He might want to be swaddled. Babies miss the tight cozy environment of the womb & being held by you reminds him of that. If you swaddle him tightly that should help. Try reading the book "The happiest baby on the block" or watch the DVD. It will show you how to swaddle properly & make him feel safe & secure to sleep on his own.

A.

I didn't read through all the advice (lot's!) so feel free to skip if you've already heard this one... try a sling. My first wanted to be held all the time so that's what I did. Babies need this right now some more then others. Two months is so little- this is a great opportunity to bond so try to take advantage of it. Try out a few slings, they can be clumsy at first but keep at it, and let him sleep and be a part of your day in the sling. These are a lifesaver.

I just went with it and my oldest slept on my chest with me propped on pillows for about 6 months. BUT a few things that did help transition (we had a co-sleeper next to the bed): put a heating pad under the mattress when you take him out to nurse (or bottle) during the evening or before you put him down at night. Turn the pad off when he's in the bassinet; heats it up nicely for babies. Put one of your shirts under him that you have been wearing awhile. Swaddling is great or try a sleep sack so he stays warm and you don't have to worry about him getting tangled up in blankets.

Suddenly they are not so little- enjoy this holding time while you can. :)

He is still so young. He wants to be WITH YOU. Let him sleep in your arms. You will miss this time when it passes. You can try swaddling too. It mimics his comfort in the womb.

Cry it out is the only way if you want to sleep and will help him to self soothe too. He just has to be left alone long enough to get used to his bed. You could turn on a radio with soothing music.

it's kind of hard to enjoy your time with your son when you're constantly tired huh? I have a medical condition that makes me constantly tired and I know just being tired makes it hard to enjoy time with my son who is now almost 3. I didn't get all the way through the advice you have received because there is a lot but I do have a suggestion. You said you have a basinet in your room. You may want to pull the basinet up to your bed. Then you can lay him down in the basinet and lay or sit on your bed next to it and rub his belly to help soothe him. As well, you could swaddle him before to help him have the close feeling. If he wakes up don't pick him up just rub his belly. He wants to know that you are there for him and that he is safe. As another poster said he also will need to learn how to be independent. I am an advocate of the cry-it-out method BUT he definitely is to young for that yet. Hopefully if you can get him to start sleeping regularly now without problems you won't have to worry about having to have him cry it out later.

Another post mentioned and I agree that you should make sure he is on a consistent eat, sleep and wake schedule. This helps tremendously throughout his life and also helps now because he wants security and if you know exactly when you will be fed, when you are to sleep and when it is that you will be waking up then it makes less to be scared of.

Hi M.,

I too had a child that would not sleep unless I held him and I refused the cry it out. I don't have any advice but wanted you to know you are not alone. The phase will pass (my did after he was 9 months old) and you will miss it. I know it doesn't seem like fun now but try to enjoy his sweet breath and little noises. I slept proped up with pillows and got whatever sleep I could. It was hard but I made it through and you will too.

J.

Try placing two rolled up blankets under the bassinet sheet making a narrow channel for your baby to lay in. This will give him a sense of being held. Warming the sheet before putting him down should also help. You don't say if you are swaddling, but if not, I highly recommend that you do. Hang in there, this will pass!

This is the age where skin to skin contact is so important. See if your partner or relative can help with holding the baby when you need a nap. Baby wearing is also a great way to help meet this need during the day.

My third child was like this...I found she slept well in her car seat. I think it was because she was all tucked in and couldn't really startle herself awake. She slept like this from about 2 to 5 months.
I kept her on the floor next to my bed. If she started to fuss I would drop my arm down and start rocking her...worked like a charm, and I didn't even have to get out from under the covers!

Here are a few things to try (I co-sleep, so that is my first thought for you to get some sleep).
-try wearing the same shirt for a few days, something soft and cuddly, so that it smells like you, after a few days, slide it over the mattress of his bassinet (tightly so he can't move it and choke) and that way he has your scent near him when he goes to sleep. You could also try this with a favorite blanket.
-Try getting him one of those bears that make the heartbeat sound....that might be what is comforting for him.
-Pacifiers?
-Mobile that plays music. I have one that plays Mozart music for 15 minutes (so much longer than the others), while it spins and has these little rings that slide on it so it keeps their attention, but also helps sooth them to sleep. I can't remember teh maker of it, but I got it at Babies R Us, it was expensive ($50-$60) but I'm using it with my second son for naps and my first son LOVED it till about 16 mths old, so it was WELL used.

good luck
K.

ps, I would be careful with the car seat or swing ideas, not that they don't work, but my son suffered from Plagio (flat head syndrome) from laying in one position too long, and a lot of kids get it from being in car seats too long, in swings, etc.

I am right there with you! Mine is 6 weeks old and will only sleep in my arms at night. I am able to roll her onto her back in the bed after a while, but if I get up to bring her to the cradle, she wakes up MAD!
I use a pacifier, but if that falls out before she is fully asleep, she wakes up.
I, too, do not like the cry it out this young. I have, however, started to take a shower after I am sure she is fed and changed and let her cry during that if need be.
I think some babies just need that security more than others. As annoying as it is, I am trying to enjoy it why I can, because they do grow so fast!
I think I will try the advice of putting one of my shirts in bed with her.
I do have machines that make heart beat sounds and other white noise sounds, but, it doesn't work for us. good luck!

Do you swaddle him? If not, I would recommend it. It sounds like he wants that secure feeling. Good luck!

My first thought is I bet swaddling him will give him the feeling of being in your arms. I had to swaddle my son until he was 4 months so he would not startle and wake himself up. I would swaddle him before he gets fussy and overtired, then rock him a little, then lay him down. Hang in there!

How about a tick-tock clock in the bassinet with baby or I saw a pillow in an online magazine signals.com called my beating heart relaxation pillow. Along with swaddling, one of these options may make baby feel more secure. You might also check into the co-sleeper bassinets (I think that's what they're called). If all else fails is there a grandma, family member or friend that could come over and take a few holding shifts?

Oh, I remember those days. They are so little for such a short time. Don't sweat it and try to embrace this time with your infant. Babies only wish to be with their mother's at this early of an age. You probably won't get a whole lot of sleep right now anyway, and if you're breast feeding, it's in increments.

I know it's hard but I would just do what you can to soothe and comfort. He is so little right now. Sleep training usually doesn't begin until much later on. Your sleep will improve also in time. I've just begun to finally get good sleep after about 5 years. I have a 2-yr old and 4-yr old, boy/girl.

I would try swaddling him up good, nursing if you're breast feeding before bedtime, and also make sure that you're getting him on a good schedule with sleep, eat and wake times. Schedules do a lot of good for the family. I think my babies were in bassinets until they were around 4-5 months of age. Then the transition to crib was pretty seamless.

Remember, he's so little right now and will grow so fast. Once you've figured it out, they change on you, and that just keeps going on and on as they get older!

A few good books to invest in are the Good Night, Sleep Tight by the Sleep Lady and the No-Cry Solution.

Best of luck to you! Hang in there. You'll be just fine. Just remember he's so little right now. Enjoy him. Embrace the time together. Babies at this age just want a lot of love, hugs and snuggles!

Best,
Linné

This may not be what you want to hear, but enjoy it while you can! Before you know it he'll be sleeping on his own and you will miss this time so much. My son only wanted to sleep on me when he was little, too. I ended up swaddling him in the Miracle Blanket which I highly, highly recommend. The first time we used it he was 3 months old and he slept 5 hours straight in his bassinet! Also, have you considered co-sleeping? Once we got good at nursing lying down, he could latch on and fall right back asleep without me having to really wake up. I haven't really been sleep deprived since then, even though he still doesn't sleep through the night. If you have safety concerns about co-sleeping, I would recommend reading the articles about it on kellymom.com or askdrsears.com. Good luck!

Wow. You've had the full range of advice so far. I'll just chime in with a small suggestion. Try putting a heating pad in the bassinet while you nurse. When you're done, swaddle the baby (if that helps), remove the heating pad and put him down. The warmth mimics yours and makes for a smoother transition to the crib. You could also put a piece of your clothing in the crib/bassinet. Good luck. Everything is so hard when you're not sleeping! Whatever is happening now will change!

He is too young for the cry it out method so I am glad you don't like the idea. My son did the same thing, he grew out of it. When babies are this young they can't be spoiled by being held too much and that includes sleeping. If he is that attached to you I would try a co-sleeper, I think that is what it is called and put him in bed with you. As he gets older you can transistion him to his own crib. Good luck

Have him sleep in bed with you. My little girl did that too around the 2 month mark, and again just a few weeks ago (5months). They go through moments of insecurity and it is ok to let them sleep with you in bed. We don't make a habit of it, she does really well in her crib nowdays, but if that is what she needs (and what I need) then so be it.
Best of luck!

My son was the same way at that age. What worked best for him for naps was sleeping swaddled in his swing. I put the swing next to my bed and we were both able to get some sleep. While he was a good nighttime sleeper, naps were a stuggle for us and he napped in his swing until he was about 5 or 6 months old. At 2 months old he would also sleep in the baby sling or in the front carrier. I couldn't sleep with him in it, but I could at least sit down and relax or do some things around the house. Good luck! It will get better!

Your instincts are good...don't cry it out. He's too tiny. Just make sure he's been well burped. Even if he doesn't burp after eating, make sure you hold him upright for 15 minutes before laying him down. Make sure he's got a good swaddle. Maybe try a different sleep position. My kids never slept on their backs. I rolled up a cloth diaper and wedged it in their back so they could sleep on their side. They usually ended up on their backs, but it was a comfortable way for me to put them down. Just keep picking him up when he needs it, walk or rock him back to sleep and put him back down again. It's exhausting, but he'll start to get into a routine. And he's just so tiny still, so this is exactly the kind of thing that happens with infants. Keep at it, hang in there and before you know it he'll sleep a full 2 hours, then 4, then 6, etc. It will get better.

~A.