6 Week Old Not Sleeping at Night or in Crib

I believe in co-sleeping. I think it was better for me as a mom, because I get more sleep. For two reasons: I didn't have to get out o bed to feed and get baby back to sleep in a crib and I would have worried too much if he was too far away. I would have been getting up to check on him constantly. It was better for the baby, because of the bonding. It is better for milk production because of more skin to skin contact. For selfish reasons, I would not have done it differently. There were so many sweet moments having my baby near me that are irreplaceable. I know it is hard right now, but in the long run, it is a very short time that your little one will be little...

Jen,
I have six, all grown now and have been where you are now. I'm with the doctor, you cant spoil a newborn, he just loves you most of all. I didnt beleive in co-sleeping at first either, but read everything I could and it ended up solving a myriad of problems. One thing I read that always intrigued me was that we never worry about mother cats, dogs, rabbits etc rolling on their young and smothering them. We also never consider separating them from their young. Perhaps we should take a hint from nature. Another thought-I know this sounds simplistic, but are you getting a good burp when you burp him between sides? If you stop and burp after the first breast and then again at the end of the feeding it really makes a huge difference. With all of my breastfed babies it took a lot longer to get a burp and took a lot of patience, but if I did not stick to it we ended up with the 'liquid gold' being spit up.

Hi,
I understand that you are not in favor of co-sleeping, and I'm not trying to change your mind. But some other people reading this thread might want to know more about it, so I'm posting a link below that might help people understand some of the issues better. There is a lot of misinformation about co-sleeping. There are safe ways to do it. It's a common myth that you'll smother your baby. If you are breastfeeding, unless you are intoxicated or very obese, it's very unlikely you will roll over onto your baby. There's some more information here:

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/ramos.html

I thought it was worth posting in case anyone wants to know more about it, whether they choose to do it or not, it's really important to be informed.

Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep!

p.s. I am not in favor of "cry it out" and I am an advocate for co-sleeping, when it works for the whole family. Like you, I was concerned at first that I should only sit up while nursing my baby, etc. and I was scared that it would be unsafe to sleep next to her. So for a couple months of her life, I was miserable and sleep deprived, until I finally started co-sleeping. It's not perfect by any means, but it works for our family and we all get better sleep that way.

If you do get to the point of wanting to read a book about sleep, I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's The No Cry Sleep Solution.

I know have an 11 week old and at 6 weeks I was very frustrated with the sleeping situation. I would rock/bounce him to sleep and just sit there for atleast 30 minutes usually longer to make sure he was asleep then I would put him down and he would wake up 5 to 15 minutes later. We ended up getting a miracle blanket to swaddle him and he didn't like it at first but his arms and hands were waking him up. It didn't take long for him to finally sleep inbetween feedings. Now he is sleeping 7 hours at night and we have a routine of wrapping him up at 7:30 and he's asleep by 8. Sometimes he needs a little rocking, but no more than 5 minutes.

You're not comment about the books was hilarious!!! I am very adamant against co-sleeping also, and I'm a CIO mommy too. But, until my kids were both 3 months, I slept them in a bassinette right beside my bed. I mainly did it for me, since they got up so many times throughout the night during those first 3 months. My daughter seemed to sleep the best when I rolled up a blanket, put it against the side of the bassinette, and leaned her against it. Not completely on her side, but she was elevated a little to one side. Then, I'd tuck the blankets around the rest of her, including the rolled up blanket. I think it made her feel more like she was laying beside me by placing that blanket there. Pretty close to the day they turned 3 months, I moved them into their own room/crib. I still had to get up once or twice a night though. Once they had a couple of nights where they slept all night through, more like around 9 or so months, that's when I let them CIO. My pediatrician told me that once they sleep all night, you know that they can do it, and that it's time to let them CIO. With my son, this worked GREAT! I also made sure to have him on a nap schedule and bedtime schedule when he was 3 months old. With my daughter I didn't follow the CIO, and oh my goodness, I developed a horrible sleeper! Eventually, when she was 16 months old, I had to let her cry it out, and it was much much worse. Babies cry to just cry themselves to sleep. Toddlers and preschoolers cry because they don't WANT to go to sleep and want their mommy to get them out of bed.

First, no, you can't spoil a 6 week old, and letting them cry-it-out shouldn't be in anyone's vocabulary. If he's on prevacid already, then it's likely not gas.

I know I'll probably get reamed for this, but when our 5 year old was 6 weeks, we couldn't get her to sleep in her crib either. UNTIL...we tried letting her sleep on her stomach. Of course, the doctor told us that was a HUGE no-no, but that was honestly and quite literally the ONLY time she would sleep was on her stomach. If we laid her on her back, she was screaming before we even got our hands away from having laid her down.

Our doctor was "comforted" (not sure that's the best word to use) in that neither DH or I smoke or drink, and we were checking on her constantly (she was so quiet when she slept we were constantly checking to make sure she was still breathing); and they still wagged their fingers at us for doing it, but that was the only way she would sleep and the only way for us to save what was left of our sanity at that point from having tried everything else under the sun (seemingly).

Just thought I'd offer that info for what it's worth....good luck!

hi jen,
6 weeks is way too young to let your little one cry. most say not before 6 months. plus, your baby is obviously uncomfortable and i would try to fix whatever is bothering him. letting him cry will only teach him that he can not trust in his penvironment and that his needs are not being met. that being said i know how difficult it can be. you said you tried a swing and carseat? did this work? if so, i would continue letting him sleep this way. they also have bassinets which the baby is almost in a cocoon like shape swinging upright. if baby likes being close to you the arms reach co sleeper is great. it attaches to your bed and you can slip baby beside you when he falls asleep and still be able to touch him pat his back if he starts to wake. this way he is right next to you but not in your bed. also, you really can not spoil a baby. every child is different and some just have stronger needs than others. plus, when they are not feeling well or something is wrong (i.e. acid reflux) they tend to need/want mommy even more. hang in there it does get easier.

Hi Jen,

Great answers, I was thinking of another aspect though. Maybe he is used to hearing your heartbeat as he sleeps? The added stress of mommy not being near may be adding to his acid reflux. Just a thought :-).

Maybe go pick up a baby cd that has the heartbeat audible in it. I had one for my son years ago and a few weeks of that and he started falling asleep on his own.

Good luck!

A.

Hang in there, it will get better. 6 weeks is very young but you should be able to put him down in his bed for a few hours. When he falls asleep, make sure you wait just a bit so that he is sound asleep. It may help to make sure his bed is warm- flannel sheet or warm blanket down first, then gradually change his position to put him down and keep patting or touching him even after you have laid him in there.

Have you considered cutting dairy out of your diet? I have heard many times that people with reflux babies cut dairy out of their diet and it helped immensely! Not to mention anything spice or acidic that could be affecting the reflux.

I completely understand for just a few months ago I was in your same situation. My daughter was very miserable and uncomfortable for the first 4-5 months of her life. She was on Prevacid and Carafate. The Carafate helped coat her esphogus so when she refluxed it didn't hurt so much. Like you, the reflux was hindering her sleep. The only place she would sleep was in our bed which I was totally against. We had twins and never let them sleep with us. But I relented becuase I so needed sleep. Some sleep was better than no sleep! I will tell you that this did not impact her ability to sleep on her own becuase now she sleeps just fine in her crib! She still refluxes but at least it doesn't seem to bother her. We had a co-sleeper in our room as some others had mentioned. Our GI doctor also gave us this sling contraption they use with reflux babies in the crib but we never tried it but it may be something to look into. Bottom line, my advice would be to get sleep whenever and however you can, even if she has to be in bed with you becuase she will be able to sleep on her own if you move her out in time. Also know that it does get better for her and you in time. Best of luck.

Our 2nd was just like this. Thankfully, my husband helped me, but we were both zombies for MONTHS! The sleeping got better, but my little guy was miserable/colicky until he was about a year old. Now don't panic -- we ended up taking him to Riley & they were able to diagnose him where our local docs couldn't. (That was extremely frustrating. We fired 2 of them before finding a great one!)

But back to sleeping. I don't believe in co-sleeping, either. He started his colic/reflux problems right around 3 weeks of age & began not sleeping unless we were holding him. We are very firm about not spoiling kids, but most of the other replies are right -- letting him cry it out at this age is way too early. He needs to know that you are there. Okay, so what worked? We finally got him to sleep in his bouncy seat, while it vibrated. I don't remember how long that took, but I know it didn't work right away. (We tried the shirt, the triagle pads in the bed, elevating the bed & several other "tricks", too - none worked.) After a couple of weeks, the bouncy seat didn't work anymore, either, but the swing began to work. Now most of the time, he had to sleep on us still, though. My husband & I ended up sleeping in the living room together so we could see each other & help if needed. One of us slept in the recliner & the other got the couch. It took a few LONG months, but my son eventually started sleeping in his crib. Again, he had all kinds of tests done & was on medication for allergies, asthma, and reflux (as well as a couple others), but we eventually got him to sleep on his own. My mother in law came over twice during that awful year to let us actually get a night's sleep. (Oh, and we both worked full time & I was finishing up my master's degree - talk about being zombies!) Those were the best nights we had during that time -- just being able to sleep together in our own beds was such a blessing!! I do hope you have someone that can help you. Like I said, we only got 2 nights that whole year, but it did get better. This will be hard, but "this too shall pass." I really know what you're struggling through. If I can help more, feel free to email me back!!! GoOD luck!!

Hi Jen-

I can feel your frustration through the screen! As a Mom already you know that all things will improve with time (Not that it helps you get more sleep now!) After reading your request I was taken back to when I would fall asleep breastfeeding my son in bed and then jerk back awake, scared I was going to drop him, I never did. My son also disliked being swaddled because he had to keep his arms in, so wrapped it around him with his arms out, and that really helped. We also rolled up receiving blankets and put them on both sides to help keep him cozy. Also, could you and your husband take turns at night? Maybe that way you both can at least get a few hours of sleep a night. We've also had success with white noise, although that may not be much help with reflux. I think having your child sleep as upright as possible is the best idea. One other idea might be gripe water. Good luck, just know that other Moms are feeling your pain and are also up at night!

Jen, this sounds so much like when I was a baby! I had so much spit up that my mom could never lay me down. Well, it turns out to be that I didn't have that little lid in between the esophagus and the stomach that keeps the acids down. I suffered from this for many years. It ultimately grew I guess since I don't have those problems anymore but what really helped was to sleep in the same position as the car seat. I know it's kind of hard to keep a baby like that but that was the only way I could sleep.You might want to check if this is what your baby is experiencing.

Regarding the other sleeping problems, I agree with you. It's so scary to sleep with a baby thinking that you might roll on him (plus not getting any real sleep). With all my kids (3), we had a bassinet in our bedroom. We kept them in our room until they were 2 months old. It was convenient for feedings and every time one of them would wake up we could just talk softly and he would go back to sleep. I know what's like when you have zero energy at night with 2 kids and around the clock feedings...so I recommend buying a swing and use it at night. After all, we are only human and there's a limit to how much rocking you can do 24-7. Sometimes I felt my arms were going to give in of how tired I was! Our swing was a lifesaver! At this age though, he is too young to sleep all night and he needs to eat every 2-4 hours aprox. so you can't really expect him to sleep very long. The swing comes handy when he wants to be awake in the middle of the night so he can be entertained a little bit and you can get some extra sleep!

hi Jen,

I think this baby could use a few more burps. Try anotehr 10 minutes of it. There are many different ways to burp your baby, of course, but I think it may be that simple (for the spitting up issue). If one way doesn't work, than go to another method. and as far as comfort. I think the belly aches will be done when there are no bubbles, therefore, no abnormal crying. Also, if the spitting up has come to an end, then it may be something in your diet that needs changed. I would cut out different things for 3 days, and keep track on paper, so you can see what it could be- (dairy etc....)

Good luck and God bless. Enjoy that beautiful baby!

A.

You really can't spoil a baby this young. They cry because the need or want something. If you were throwing up all night long, wouldn't you want some comfort? I know if I don't feel well, I want my husband to take care of me! ;-) My daughter didn't have reflux, but so many of my friends baby's have. They all used the car seat or the swing to keep the baby elevated at night. That help cut down on the reflux. If that worked for you, do it! There is no need to make you, your baby or anyone in the house suffer! If I had to guess, I would say that the laying down is making him feel icky. I know when I have heartburn, I can't lay flat. I have to sleep sitting up. You could try the car seat, but stay right next to him with your hand on his chest, applying gentle pressure. Maybe that will let him know you are there. They also have bears that play what are suppose to be womb sounds. Maybe one of those would work? Is it possible to send your daughter to Grandmas house for the weekend? At least then you may be able to get a little bit of rest. Maybe once the meds kick in he'll be a great sleeper...**fingers crossed**

Dear Jen,
So sorry your little guy is having trouble! Congrats on him, though, and on breastfeeding!

Someone mentioned you could try eliminating dairy from your diet (and other stuff) and keeping away from it for 3 days. i have heard that it takes much longer (more like 3 weeks) for dairy to totally get out of your system.

If you are awake during the day, try calling a La Leche Leader for advice (heck, you could maybe even call during the night, they understand). LLL also has a web site.

There are side-of-the-bed cribs for baby that would let him be right next to you if you don't want him in your bed. You may be able to roll over and nurse, saving you from getting out of bed, going to his room etc.

I hope you are sleeping whenever baby sleeps, as much as you can. I know it is tough with a 3 yo. Could you hire a sitter or mother's helper to come over a couple afternoons a week to play with your daughter? You could be there but try to nap, shower, whatever.

Sometimes when my oldest was fussy and didn't seem to want to sleep, we'd go for a car ride. Or, put him in his car seat, strap him in, and set the whole shebang on the clothes dryer while it was running. Of course you have to STAY RIGHT THERE....

Good luck and blessings to you!

K. Z.

I cannot address all the points in your post, but I can speak to one.

I am an advocate for CIO. When done properly, there is nothing wrong with teaching your child how to self-soothe and fall asleep on their own. That being said, six weeks is entirely too young for CIO. Four months is the absolute earliest you would want to try this technique.

I know you don't want a book recommendation but Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth is an excellent choice for learning more about when, where, and why a child should sleep. Yes, you might fall asleep reading it, but you'll get practical information from an expert who has worked with thousands of patients over 3 decades as opposed to us moms who have experience with a handful of kids.

Okay, you've gotten so many responses so I didn't read any so I may be repeating. I am giving you this advice from a mom of very premature twins (27weeks) who had HORRIBLE reflux. First, I know they ingrain it into your head that you shouldn't put babies on their bellies, but guess what the intensive care nurseries do with babies with bad reflux. PUT THEM ON THEIR BELLIES. Yes, I truly mean it, they do this. If you haven't done this and you are scared to..put a pack-n-play or whatever you have in your room so you can watch him closely and put him on his belly. Second, you can still swaddle him, just do it so his arms are out if that seems to be the thing bothering him about that. Third you have not created a monster by holding your baby so far. This is perfectly normal for newborns to want to be held while sleeping, obviously it is an adjustment for them just getting out of your belly, so this may go on for a few months. That's not to say you shouldn't keep trying to lay them down, but it's totally normal. So, take a deep breath, know that this is okay and it will get better. Goodluck

Hi Jen,

My son is six weeks old today, so I'm right there with you on the sleep deprivation! My second baby had severe reflux, so I can empathize with that as well. At seven weeks, she was only sleeping two or three hours a night total, and she screamed all day. I was a wreck.

I know you said he does not like to be swaddled, but have you tried swaddling him very tightly, ensuring that his arms are straight down? This is the technique used in "The Happiest Baby on the Block." My reflux baby busted out of the velcro swaddler we had. I broke down and bought the Miracle Blanket (www.miracleblanket.com), and she slept for seven hours straight the first night we used it at seven weeks old. It has special panels that hold the arms down. For us, that blanket was worth every penny.

My six week old was not sleeping well either--I thought he wanted his arms out because he got mad whenever I tried to swaddle him, so I was swaddling him with his arms out. About a week ago, I got out the Miracle Blanket and swaddled him very tightly with his arms in and straight. Since then, he consistently sleeps for five- to six-hour stretches.

The only other advice I can give is to speak to your doctor again if his spitting up does not improve. You may need to tweak his medication. My daughter was nine months old and spitting up so much that she stopped gaining weight before we finally got her treatment right (for her, it was Prilosec). Listen to your gut and don't be afraid to press the pediatrician for more help if you feel your child is not improving. Good luck!

Hi. When you swaddle him, maybe try to swaddle his body below his chest so his arms are out, but his body feels like he's still being cuddled. This worked well for our daughter who like her arms out as well. I totally agree with you re co-sleeping. I was terrified at the idea for fear I would roll over and smother her. If anything can you maybe try a bassinet beside your bed so if he fusses you can reach out to him, rock him/sooth him? We used a bassient so that I could be close to our daugther so that when she did get up I was close by and so if she started to fuss I could give her a pacifier to soother back to sleep (which may not work for you). I used a wedge in the bassient to prop her up and swaddled from the chest down. Or, if this isn't an option, maybe sleep in his nursery with him, on the floor or a mattress so that you are close to him and then slowly work with him to get in the crib. Kind of ease him into sleeping alone. Let him see/hear you near him for a while and then get further away until he is able to sleep alone. I tried the "cry it out" and couldn't do it. I felt like a horrible parent. And, if he's hungry you don't want to let him cry it out, because he needs food. Another idea would be to start pumping so that your spouse can take one of the night feedings and you can get more sleep. I ended up exclusively pumping and that made it easier for my husband to help out with the night feedings. Of course you will still need to pump during the night but you can get a longer stretch of sleep. Good luck and I hope you find something that works. Hang in there! :-)

Hello Jen. Coming from a mom who had a baby with reflux, it is rough so I do sympathize with you. Please do not let your baby cry it out. If he is crying, he is needing you or he is hurting. Try bringing in his car seat and letting him nap and or sleep in it at night. My little girl slept in hers until she grew out of it. Her reflux was not as bad and she had more good nights then naught. Reflux is painful and can at times feel like a heart attack.

Also, try feeding him, and hold him upright for a half hour. I know this seems like a long time, but it will save a lot of time of crying and help his digestion. Do not lay him flat after feeds. This will cause the little guy pain and of course lots of crying. These tips were from Nationwide Childrens Hospital.

Most of all, be patient. YOU CAN NOT spoil and newborn baby.

Lots of luck,

M. F

Hey Jen,

I have a 4 month old who sounds just like your son. At our 2 month old appointment our doctor told us to try swaddling again, even though we had stopped (for the same reason you did)...we thought he was crazy but it WORKED! at least until he started rolling over at 3 months old. We also swaddled him with 1 arm in. For his first month he slept in his swing. or on me (just like you). He will get better.

Good luck!

This sounds very similar to how my son was for his first 8 weeks. I didn't sleep more than an hour or so at a time and it took what seemed like forever to get him down after nursing. He slept in his bouncy seat because he would wake up as soon as I put him in his crib (also hated swaddling). Once he was moving his head side to side at a few months I put him on his belly (against the doctors wishes...) and he slept great. I also thought that Gripe Water worked a bit for his bad belly. From what I have read and heard, the longest a baby that young should cry is 5-10 minutes because they really can't self-soothe yet. My mom (who is a lactation consultant) also recommended cutting dairy out of my diet for a month to see if that improved his fussiness. I didn't end up doing it because he started getting better around 8 weeks, but it could be worth a shot. Good luck!

Hi Jen, I am in the same sleep-deprived boat as you, only with my 3 week old. He spits up like crazy when I lay him down flat on his back. I let him sleep on his belly during his daytime naps when I'm sitting right next to him and can supervise, and he loves it. However, I am way too chicken to do it at night. He would also love to sleep on me, but I'm an ER nurse and have seen too many really sad cases of an adult falling asleep and accidentally smothering an infant...don't let anyone try to talk you into co-sleeping. I have been breastfeeding and then going to bed at 8:45 after we tuck my 2-year old in, then my husband gives the 11:00 bottle and brings him up to our room. I am at least getting a few uninteruppted hours of sleep before my loonnnnggg nights begin. A couple of tips, Dr. Brown's bottles (size 1 nipples) with Similac Isomil Advance (Soy, non-dairy/lactose free formula) seems to be ok on his tummy. Also, I use the bouncy seat, tuck a blanket tightly around his body leaving his arms free, set it on vibrate, and bounce the heck out of it until he falls asleep. Anyway, hope some of this makes sense and gives you ideas of how to survive! Enjoy your little one. =-)

Congratulations on your new baby. My daughter had the same problem and was diagnoised at 2 weeks old with acid reflux and colic. She was put on Prevacid but would not sleep lying down. We had a car seat that snapped into our stroller and we would push her around the house, going over bumps and everything else. She would eventually stop crying and go to sleep. I think the motion really helped her. We would then just push her in our room and she would sleep like that. She slept in her car seat for 3 months untl the acid reflux got better and then she would finally sleep in her crib. My daughter also did not like her arms being swaddled but the doctor told me to wrap her as tight as possible anyway and she would eventually fall alseep. She hated it at first but then it finally worked.

No one has mentioned this, but could he be overeating? With nursing, you can't see how much he is taking, are you offering only one breast at a time? You might see if offering him only one breast if he has been taking two makes a difference. Also, if you have made sure he is clean, dry, and full, it is ok to let a baby cry for a few minutes, no matter how old they are. As long as they are safe, the crying won't hurt them. As for swaddling the arms down, it is not a safe sleep rec that babies have the swaddling blanket below their armpits to decrease the SIDS risk. Also, babies can't learn to self-soothe if they cna't get their hands to their face.
Good luck. Hang in there. Before you knwo it, he will be running off, and you will be trying to figure out how to get him to stay in his bed.
R.

Hi Jen, here's what worked for me. Do you own a breast pump? If so, I would start pumping enough breastmilk to have a few botttles ready for him at night. That is, of course, if you intend on introducing a bottle. For me, my son was getting up almost every hour to nurse and I was going through the same thing at home-sleep deprived with an 18 month old to entertain. I decided that he was not getting enough milk to satisfy his hunger in one sitting from just nursing, so I started giving him a bottle of breastmilk when he would wake up at night. Let me tell you, it worked wonders for both of us-a full belly and we both were able to sleep longer and longer. My son was sleeping about 8-9 hours at about 10-12 weeks old. I see nothing wrong with pumping breastmilk into a bottle if it gives your baby a full belly and some extra sleep for the both of you!! Good luck, it WILL get better.