Both my husband and I work from home so we're both around all the time, though my 19mo son is very clingy to me. A lot of times he fusses or cries when daddy picks him up to cuddle. Sometimes son wakes up in middle of the night and if Dad goes in there he screams and cries harder, even if dad picks him up and tries to sing or rock him (which is what i do with no problem) he still wails. I think I know what the problem is, I've always been the main care provider - feeding, bathing, putting to bed, and I can't remember the last time daddy changed a diaper. Daddy does play with him frequently whether outside or throwing him in the air & doing the fun 'dad' stuff. But only recently started more intimate actions like reading books to him. Any other advice on how to bring them closer and get my son to warm up to Daddy more at times of comfort?
Patience, patience! These periods happen. Sometimes only Mama will do. Other times it'll be Grandma (sniff sniff) who gets the cold shoulder - just because she isn't Mama or Daddy.
Encourage Dad to hang in there and do as much with his son as he can at the moment. In a few months it'll be different.
Kids go in cycles of wanting mommy only and then wanting daddy only. You are on the right track as far as having your hubby be more involved in all aspects of your son's care.
This can be a little frustrating, but it's really quite normal. Just continue to have dad keep trying to comfort him in the night and be involved in his day to day care and play time.
Your heart will be broken and you'll feel a little shocked when your son goes through a phase where he prefers dad.
They go through this and it's all just part of it. He doesn't love either of you any less.
Best wishes.
Part of it has to do with your sons age. 19 months tends to be a very cling-to-Momma age not matter how involved Dad is. One of the things my husband did was to take over all bath and bedtime activities. Now if he is out of town and I have to do bath/bed my son fusses at me for not doing it like Dada!
Around 18-months-old, children develop separation anxiety. Even my kids, who love being with their dad, would throw fits when Mommy left the house or the room for a bit. Kids do grow out of it, though patience and acceptance is useful.
Also, if a kid demonstrates marked preference for one parent over the other, it's important to gently but firmly let the kid know that you (the parents) make the rules, not the child, and whoever is able to dress, feed, bathe, read to, or play with the child will do so. Over time, the child will learn to accept that his needs will be met, even if it's not the person he'd rather do it.
And, it can help if Dad is more involved in child care, rather than just play time. Our youngest had colic and my husband couldn't bear the screaming, so he and youngest didn't really warm up to each other until the baby grew old enough to eat Thai food - and then they bonded over food!
My son went through this same thing at about the same age. It lasted about 2 weeks or so. It hurt my hubby's feelings some, but I kept reassuring him it was normal and he would get past it. He did. Just give him some time and don't force anything on him, he'll come around. Good luck.
