17 Weeks Preg. Is It Normal to Lose My Mind and Patience Right Now?

Updated on January 11, 2010
A.J. asks from Denver, CO
16 answers

Help!! I feel like I am going crazy. I am normally a very patience kind person, I usually care about other people, but right now I feel like I am neither tolerant, kind nor caring of other people. I find myself focusing on how everything affects me. I'm normally very out going and a happy person, but now I keep to myself for fear of my head spinning and pea soup coming out on those I love and or a complete stranger. Oh My!! Do I need to be committed?

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Congratulations!!!!!! You are now entering the wonderful world of motherhood and some of the joys of pregnancy, lol. Not sure why we all have different experiences when we are prego, but I have still not lived down my many tantrums. I would put my money on your hormones being the ones to blame for all this. Not all of us can be glowing, pleasant, patient ladies while our bodies are trying to adapt to all the physical changes that are happening. Take a few deep breaths when you feel the pressure building, warn people in advance of your highs and lows, and after the baby is born go back and apologize to all the waitresses, clerks, and in my case police officers who have felt your wrath. Hope you are feeling better soon. If it makes you feel better my friends and family now get a kick out of making fun of me for being such a loony.

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L.A.

answers from Reno on

ok take a deep breath. There are tons of hormones all in your body right now. It's normal to be emotional and all:)

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

i know this may not be ideal, but i just want to mention it because no one else has. it can be ok to take antidepressants during pregnancy. a psychiatrist can explain to you the risk level of ones specific to your situation. during one of my pregnancies i felt like my temper was out of control and an antidepressant was very helpful. i'm glad i took it for the sake of my family. when the baby was born, i switched to St John's wort for a while. it's weaker than antidepressants, but sometimes sufficient. i also prayed a lot for my husband to be tolerant and understanding! good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Pocatello on

For me, it's totally normal. Something about those pregnancy hormones. How I survived... I remembered that my hormones were coloring almost every interaction, and chose to remain silent. I also made my sweet husband aware of my feelings so he could cut me a little slack *and* try not to annoy me. :) The good news is, once you have your baby, you will be your happy self again! Hang in there.
A.
www.breastandbottlefeeding.com

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L.J.

answers from Denver on

Hi A.,

No, you are not going crazy! I became very short impatient and weird when I was pregnant too. I remember overreacting a bit about McDonalds being out of yogurt parfaits one time. After I left the counter I thought "who am I?" The best advice I can give is to not let yourself get hungry, always carry a snack with you and get plenty of sleep. The emotional roller coaster will eventually stop and you will feel like you again. Good luck and God bless!

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Hi A.,
What you have described seems pretty normal to me, I can remember feeling like a crazy person during periods of my pregnancy. I very specifically remember screaming at my husband one night and while I was yelling at him I was actually thinking "he doesn't deserve this, I'm overreacting" but I literally couldn't stop myself. Those pregnancy hormones are pretty powerful stuff, just give yourself a break. This will pass.

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M.P.

answers from Fort Collins on

I'm at 22 weeks and the same way. Try to find something to take away stress (I've started crocheting again) and appologize to loved ones (and strangers if you loos patience with them). I haven't tried counseling yet but as someone who has gone in the past, it helped me just to say aloud what was going on and to have an impartial person listen.

I don't know why the shortness, anger, etc. happens but I wanted to know that you aren't alone. I'm sure that you will get lots of good ideas and pats on the back from the other Moms in this group.

Take care of yourself and know that this too will pass.
M. P

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Pregnant women are notoriously moody. Not everyone with every pregnancy, but enough for there to be that stereotype. So yea, pretty normal.

Make sure you get enough sleep, eat regularly (something small every 3 to 4 hours at least, but go for healthy), drink lots of water, and take some quiet time for yourself each day. All of this will help you deal with the irritability more.

Also don't be afraid to take a "time out." You can tell when you're starting to loose it, it sounds like. Just politely excuse yourself by saying "I'm sorry, I need a moment" and go cool down. This is a good habit to get into anyway, since you'll probably need to do it as a mom too!

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J.H.

answers from Denver on

With my last pregnancy I was pretty even keel...in fact my sister-in-law said that I was nicer. I think I had two really bad hormonal days. This pregnancy is so the opposite. I am emotional and hormonal like crazy. I just keep reminding myself...this too shall pass.
I do agree that making sure I don't get too hungry or dehydrated helps. Also, getting out and taking a 5 minute walk helps calm me down too. I make sure to warn my husband when I am starting to feel irrational and he knows that he has to cover for me extra.
Good luck!

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J.A.

answers from Denver on

Congratulations I think it is normal to feel "crazy" and irritable while pregnant. Quite frankly it is almost certain you will never be the same again, but don't worry you will become protective of your own family and most definately care less about the welfare of others, that is a good thing. Don't stress it focus on yourself, that is what your instincts are telling you to do. By caring more about yourself thann others right now you are protecting your baby.

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B.D.

answers from Denver on

Try not to be so h*** o* yourself. You body is not just your body anymore it is the home of your unborn child and yes your hormones are what is controling these emotions and feelings. you can say you are sorry up front and it is good you can see and acknowledge your behavior. Can you control it...NO. It is ok to stay a little to yourself during this time or when these feeling come on strong and ask others to be patient and understanding. Most will understand. But do not let it keep you away all the time. I am 13 weeks with my second child and find myself losing my paitence with my daughter very quickly and have to dig way deep down not to let it out on her if anybody....she is not going to understand and if anyone she does not deserve it. She is my pride and joy and if ever a time she needs to feel loved more is now. sometimes all she wants after bath is to play a little with me and all I want is to get her dresed for bed...is it so bad to platy fr 10 min..NO but you would think it was the end of the world in my head.

I have taken things out on the schedulers in the doctors office and after thought she did not deserve that. So it is ok to be inpatient and feel all that you are feeling. It does go away shortly after the baby is born, but not right away. I remember a week after I gothome and we had a crowd fro dinner at the house and at one point I felt like screaming at the top of my lucgs and telling everyone to get out of the kitchen....all we were doing was getting ready to sit down and eat some food. This is normal and giver yourself a break.

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K.A.

answers from Pueblo on

Oh, gracious yes. Hormones can wreck havoc on you and your body. Just remember, you only have 9 months, then you don't get to sleep for another year!!!

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M.M.

answers from Provo on

It's actually interesting that someone would ask this question. When I became pregnant with the child I am currently carrying, I am 28 weeks. I had go on a progesterone replacement, because I wasn't producing enough. They asked me all sorts of questions, to make sure I was expecting. I guess one needs progesterone to have a healthy pregnancy. Some people take this drug as a menoposal drug and some take the drug for fertility issues. Well I got the perscription home and reading the side effects; it said possible side effects that may occur are sleepiness or tiredness, dizziness, cough, nausea, vomiting, cramps...worry, irritability, headache, mental or mood changes (such as depression, memory loss, or confusion)...etc. Anyhow all of the side effects sounded like just plain being pregnant. So, I took the liberty to ask my doctor and look up acurate information about this subject. One of the resources, a medical site, I cant remember the site, I am pregnant, I came across said all these emotional, irritability, forgetfulness, is normal. It also increases as the months of pregnancy go on, because the placenta produces more and more progesterone as the baby grows. They said that for some reason the hormones during pregnancy shrink brain cells. They don't know why it happens. They also said that if one doesn't get enough sleep the effects are enhanced. In addition, the effects on every women are different and every pregnancy we have we could act differently. After we have the baby, our bodies go through a withdrawl of the hormones, so some women actually end up feeling depressed, which is called post partom depression. After a certain amount of time, our brain cells go back to normal, its usually after we get enough sleep. I thought it was an interesting topic, because I too am forgeting everything, moody, tired all the time. So, I am able to tell everyone it's normal. Good Luck and pass it on. If I find the web site I will send to you.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

It's totally normal. Just try to find some things that relax you - your are going through LOTS of emotional, physical and hormonal changes. Be patient with yourself and find ways to keep focus on your priorities. Also, just know the hormonal stuff never ends... even after the kids are born... at least that's my expereience.... I was quite the control freak before my two kids. I'm still learning to "let go". Good luck to you and enjoy the pregnancy!

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E.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I was exactly the same for the first trimester...then it ended (for the most part)... there are still moments. :o) Hopefully it will end for you soon. Just remember it is hormones. You are not changing forever. Things will get back to "normal" soon. :o) Hang in there! It is worth it all in the long run.

PS.... the others gave good advice on water and food. Your metabolism is much higher now. Make sure to keep a protein bar and water with you all of the time...it may help sometimes. Also find something relaxing that you like to do on your own - reading, yoga, meditation, etc...

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
Please be kind to yourself- your feelings and behavior are normal. However, being pregnant is not a license to act however you want...which I'm sure you understand since you are concerned with your feelings.
When I was pregnant, my husband would have these sneezing fits-like 20-25 at a time, which is normal for him. I could swear it was doing it on purpose to irritate me and I would just have to LEAVE. I would walk the block, listen to music, what ever. I once asked him, nicely, if he was doing it on purpose to irritate me. Of course he wasn't, but then he understood that it was a trigger, so he would step outside to sneeze!

Hormones are creatures of habit, they follow the 24 hour rhythm of your body and release at the same time in the same amount and the same pattern most days of your life. Now, you have new hormones bullying the regular hormones and your placenta is just releaseing whatever it wants whenever it wants. It's like a child trying to drive a spaceship-look at all the buttons to push!

You really cannot control how you feel, but you can control how you react. So take a break when needed, and it you are crappy to someone, apologize sincerely and perhaps let them know that their particular behavior is a trigger for you right now.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

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