13 Month Old Throwing Temper Tantrums Already

You are absolutely right about her frustrations because she cannot communicate. Have you tried sign language? It's a wonderful language in itself but also helps get parents and children through the trying time of communicating on 2 different levels. I have used it with my son and it works wonderfully! We used the Signing Times videos and although they are geared for children I learned easier from them than the ones geared for adults. Go to www.signingtimes.com to see the complete collection. Best of luck!

My second daughter started throwing temper tantrums at 10mths old. She picked it up from her big sis but she is a lot worse. She will throw her body everywhere, hitting the tile floor or shopping cart. She kicks so hard etc. I try to get down on her leave and talk calmly with her or take her out of whatever situation we are in (i.e. a store). All children throw temper tantrums some start a lot younger. You need to tell them you understand they are frustrated etc and make them feel like you understand and care about how mad they are, try to distract them and sometimes yes you will have to let them calm down on their own, it is hard but they need to learn to calm down by themselves. Having 2 kids 19mths apart has made it much harder and my youngest is far more advanced becuase of it. Good luck, if your child is anything like my youngest it will be tough. Mine is head strong and gets mad very quickly.

ignore them (the tantrum) go into a different room. Tell her when she is ready to ask what she wants to come and get you. The tantrums will stop alot sooner and she will start asking, pointing, to what she wants. You shouldn't point to things to get her to answer you, she needs to. thats how she'll start to communicate to you. best of luck

Yep it starts so soon with some. I also go to a web site CafeMom and they have a group with all the kids born the same month as my little girl and it reassuring to see what kids all over are doing what my little girl is doing. Some do start earlier but they all go through it sooner or later and some longer than others. I started time outs about then and set a playpen up in another area where she could not play or see me or tv or any thing. I let her know that when she is done crying I will get her. Now at 19 months old she has gotten lots better but if she is tired then I have to adjust to her needs and get her down for a nap or nite nite. Its funny when she gets real mad now and I tell her she will not act like that she either stops or walks back to her timeout spot to calm down. Its so cute! We all need a timeout at one time or another.

My son would also throw tantrums at that age. I would sit beside him very calmly without showing any emotion at all. No words, no touching nothing. Eventually he would stop and I would tell him that was a no no and ask him if he was done. If it started back up I would place him in his room in a pack and play with the door open (in case he hurt himself). Then I would wait 5 minutes and ask him again if he was done. If he stopped, he got out, if he kept going he stayed in 5 more minutes etc.. Worked for me. He is 2 now and if he starts up I ask him if he wants to sit in his room and he stops immediately and says "no ma'am" so cute.

I have a "strong-willed" little boy and when he was the same age as your daughter he was the same way. I tried spanking him and found out the hard way that it does NOTHING but aggrevate him and make him even worse!! I would suggest you put her in her crib until she stops her fit. Even if that means its for an hour. It will be safer for her to bang her head on the crib than on the tile floor. If she isn't in a crib, put her in her room with either the door closed or a baby gate up so she can't get out. When she's done with her tantrum, then go in and try to talk to her. Even if you don't understand what she is saying, just nod your head. If you can get her to show you want she needs or wants, that would help too. The main thing you are teaching her is that you will not listen to her scream. And if you show her that you will talk to her after her tantrum, she will eventually learn that she should talk to you first instead of screaming. I hope this helps and don't forget you aren't the only one!
Jen

S.,

It is more common than you think, i have a 13 month old girl and since shes been 11 months she has started throwing tantrums. we have been to the dr many times and they say its normal just dont accept the behavior! usualy when mine does it i walk away its hard but i dont want her to think she will get what she wants from me all the time. We have all tile floors so when she decides to throw her head on the tile, i remove her to a room so she can do it safely! when shes done then she comes out much happier and then we can work on what she wants. Try to not stop her from doing them, if you do this now it will be easier later.

Although i will have to say i also have a 9 year old girl and she didnt throw any tantrums until she was three or four so these kids now a days seem to be doing everything much earlier! let me know what you learn maybe i can apply it as well. Good luck!
A.

I used sign language with my boys when they were your daughters age. Simple signs like "eat", "more", "all done", etc. It significantly reduced their frustration by giving them a way to communicate. There are lots of books to choose from (see amazon link http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=baby+sign+l... or go to your library). I had a pretty basic book and that's all we needed to make a big difference.

It is normal to start that young. She can't convey to you what she wants yet so it will frustrate her that you don't understand. My advice is to try and head them off before they start. If you notice that it's a certain time of day that it happens or when she's hungry or tired, head it off by feeding her when you know she's about to get irritable or put her down for a nap a little bit sooner. Or if it's a certain toy that she just can't figure out yet and it makes her angry, put that toy away for a month or so and then pull it back out.
But definitely, as the other moms said, ignore those tantrums. When she doesn't get a reaction, she will stop. It may take a while and she'll continue to test you to see if maybe this next time it'll work. I had one that would throw a tantrum so I would leave the room. He would follow me into the next room and throw a tantrum there just so I would know he was angry. I would sit quietly and read a book (look at the book... who can read with a screaming toddler on the floor) and he would give up eventually and go about playing as if nothing happened.
In a situation where other children are around, you may need to remove her from the situation so that she doesn't lash out at them to get attention that she can't get with the tantrum.

S.,
the problem with most moms is that they don't understand what true discipline is...and it mainly means "our discipline"...the following up and following through and NOT/NEVER giving up or giving in....truly training our kids to handle themselves properly. It starts when they are tots...a 13month old knows what she is doing, based on how mom/dad reacts. So if you give in to his/her anger...allowing him to escalate it without disciplining him...even if it takes hours/days to get it through to him...based on how "strong willed" he is...then that is what it takes...but if you give in and say "its too hard" or he throws a bigger/meaner fit...then he just knows what mom/dads limit is...and he'll go there every time. i have four boys, strong, strong-willed....and they know exactly how to act...because mom and dad never allowed them to rule the roost. because of that, they are well behaved, respectful, obedient...and 100% boy! and i love it! they have rules and boundaries, they mess up, they pay the price...and that started when they were 6 months old. they threw food on the floor, their hand got swatted...they didnt like it, they did it again, i swatted their hand...four times in row...and guess what...they stopped it. tried it again, i immediately swatted their hand, they stopped! you TRAIN them! period! so if the 13 month old is throwing herself on the floor, I'd pick her up, swat her thigh where God provided "meat"..and say "no ma'am" you don't do that...place her in a spot that I use all the time...walk away, come back in a few minutes...pick her up, tell her i love her, she's a good girl and she will not throw fits...all the while smiling, not being angry or mad...just normal...setting a tone that this is what mommy/daddy does..no anger, outrage...at any time..just matter of fact...they get older, throw more severe fits, their butts pay for it...in love, matter of factly...hoope that makes sense..i have five to atest to it..and life is awesome...16mos to 13yr olds! it works for ALL kids...and it works the same when you dont make it work. you suffer and so do the kids...they cant stand themselves...just observe the masses and do the opposite and you'll have a beautiful life...or follow Dr Phil and Oprah and have miserable, undisciplined kids who call 911 if you raise your voice or take away their privileged IPOD! hahah sad but true...