12 answers

One Year Old with Temper Tantrums

Is it normal for one year olds to have temper tantrums? My daughter has always been strong willed (and we recognized this since she was about 3 months old). It appears that she wants control of every situation (like I think that alot of toddlers do). For example, if we give her a piece of food and then decide that maybe we should break it up more for her, she'll get mad when we try to help her. If we DO help her, she'll throw a tantrum even if our help is quick. In this case, she refused to eat her food after we helped and cried harder. When we tell her "No" or "We don't act that way", she has tunnel vision in her tantrum and doesn't appear to "hear" us. Sometimes we resort to ignoring her tantrum, but she still cries and cries and cries. My shock is that I thought this was supposed to happen when they are 2 years old...when they can reason a little more, understand and receive discipline, and have a limited vocabulary.

My husband, mother and I take care of her, and all of us have relatively stong personalities (and maybe that doesn't help either -- it's in the genes) so we're ready to stick to our guns, but we don't want to set ourselves up for worse behavior later by not acting firmly enough now.

Anyone else out there experience this with a one year old and what do I do? What type of discipline does a one year old understand? Maybe everyone experiences this, but I need suggestions then.

By the way, she is really sweet 99% of the time, but she's also very strong willed, tenacious and independent.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hi~

My daughter who is going to be two on June 15th has been very strong willed since birth. She is very strong minded and also has had temper tantrums since about 16 to 18 months old. She is a bit better now that she can communicate a little better with us. Although she still has her moments with real little things or even the bigger objectives. I use 2 minute time outs every time this happens. Her time out is typcially up stairs in her room. She knows that when she starts up that we don't tolerate that downstairs so therfore if she wants to keep it up then she will have to go for a time out. She does scream riddicullously but she also doesn't want to sit up in her room by herself so she stops pretty quickly. I know it is awful but I believe she should act respectful in the home and outside. My daughter is also a very good, sweet child most of the time but she has her stubborn moments. I wish you luck, and hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

My daughter was a angel til she had her first birthday. Then the tantrums started, it's all a test. They test and test to see what they can control, manipulate, and get away with.

Just be firm, strict, and consistant and things should get better. I had alot of luck with ignoring the flopping kid on the floor act. I would just walk right over them out of the room and it worked like a charm. You can start having consequences for actions at this age. If they throw their bottle out of their stroller don't repeatedly give it back, it turns into a game. If they throw food at dinner time, dinner's over don't give in and feel bad that they're going to go hungry because missing a meal isn't going to starve them to death. Just do stuff like that and try not to "give in" that's what really makes matters worse in the long run.

My daughter is 5 and I'm still going through all of this, although it's easier to deal with these days.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi~

My daughter who is going to be two on June 15th has been very strong willed since birth. She is very strong minded and also has had temper tantrums since about 16 to 18 months old. She is a bit better now that she can communicate a little better with us. Although she still has her moments with real little things or even the bigger objectives. I use 2 minute time outs every time this happens. Her time out is typcially up stairs in her room. She knows that when she starts up that we don't tolerate that downstairs so therfore if she wants to keep it up then she will have to go for a time out. She does scream riddicullously but she also doesn't want to sit up in her room by herself so she stops pretty quickly. I know it is awful but I believe she should act respectful in the home and outside. My daughter is also a very good, sweet child most of the time but she has her stubborn moments. I wish you luck, and hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

I try to give my daughter options. Cutting up an item for eating really isn't an option at 1 yr old due to the choking hazzard, but perhaps you could offer her more control in other areas surrounding her meals, and other things. I ask my daughter for her choice for alot of things. Fork or Spoon, Water or milk, Bowl or Plate or even clothes or toys to play with. Giving her a choice I've noticed has REALLY cut down on her tantrums, however, there is a downfall because sometimes I believe it's hard for her to understand why some things aren't her choice, and so we still get tantrums. We try to ignore the tantrums if we can. (As long as she's not throwing things, or hurting herself or anyone else, I ignore it.) When she breaks things or hurts someone or herself, she has to sit on the naughty step for her poor choice of behavior. She has the choice and I make her aware of her actions after she behaves poorly, and we try to offer other options for her to vent her steam, like walking away and watching a show on TV, or playing with a different toy, or even drinking a glass of water or going to the bathroom. Anything to get her attention off of what made her mad to begin with so she doesn't dwell on it.

If she has tantrums at the table, she is NOT allowed at the table. We say, "Ok, you're done at the table if you're going to choose to behave that way. Just remember that the only way to get a bedtime snack is to eat a good supper. No supper, no night time snack." And we pick her up and remove her from her chair. She always wants to come back and eat.

I don't think that tantrums are ever going to be gone completely...heck, even us parents have them once in a while, they just take on a different form, so don't give them too much worry, it's a natural process for them to control their tempers.

1 mom found this helpful

Its completely normal, my daughter did the same thing from 10-13 months, now she is 15 months and its been getting better. She is learning more signs and words and how to react in certain situations. My advice would be not to ignore her tantrums, at this age it isn't about getting her way. She gets upset because she is mad and frustrated and she needs her caregivers to help her to feel secure not punished when she is having these feelings. We do a lot of re directing her attention when she is really upset and then once she has calmed down, we go back to the activity and try it again. It seems to be working great for our daughter, hope this helps you too.

1 mom found this helpful

Tantrums are a normal part of development(even in some 1 year olds) but that isn't to say that your dc might not be more spirited than average. My son is very strong-willed. Even at daycare they noticed that he was like other toddlers, just more so! The worst thing you can do with an extremely strong-willed kid is get into power struggles so you have to be a lot more creative. First of all, if you haven't taught her sign language, start immediately. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be to be strong-willed and opinionated but not be able to speak?! Then start learning about ways to give her choices on things that don't matter, while at the same you set solid rules for safety and health. A book that might help is "Raising the Spirited Child". http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Percept...

I struggle with this everyday...I confess, somedays I wish I had a kid that would just be obedient...but then I stop and appreciate that he is not a kid who will ever get pushed around by anybody.

1 mom found this helpful

Hello,

My 11 month old also has temper tantrums. For the most part he is pretty good. And he will have his good days when he listens to "no" and "don't touch that". But many of the times he will be touching something he is not supposed to like the blinds on the patio window and it is like he doesn't hear me when I am tell him no. So pick him up and move and say no, you can't play with that. And sometimes he will get so angry that he weill arch back really fast and I worry he will fall and smash his head. And we also have had issues eating, like with spitting. And we tell him no spitting and touch his lips. And sometimes he will just start crying from that. One thing that helped with that was teaching him how to say all done in sign language, but now he will do it all the time even before he started eating. But anyways, I think it is normal that they have some kind of temper. They are learning new things and don't want to be told no. But I think it is important not to give in. And I also have to remember to watch how I act because they learn from example. Good luck!!

From what I've read children that young like to feel like they are independent and in control. I can't advicate the power of distraction enough! If you want to take some food to cut up more. Give her her juice or something else to hold. My daughter is only 10 months, and that seems to work for me.. Other than that, I'ce read that reverse psychology often works on toddlers, and limited choices. They say that children around 2 would rather hear "let's color on the paper" then "don't color on the walls" (of course in an emergency situation NO! is what's called for) Again, my daughter is only 10 months old, so I don't have a lot of experience with this yet. This is just what I've seen from friends and family of toddlers.. I hope this helps...

I agree with Patty. It seemed the more choices I could give my daughter about other things involved in the meal the less she had tantrums about the things I did have to help with. The tantrums seemed to lessen and now she is almost 4 and nearly tantrum free.

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.