13 Mo Old...1st Overnight Stay W/o Mommy & Daddy

Updated on January 08, 2008
L.M. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year!!! I am a 1st time (Full Time working) mom of a beautiful/energetic little girl named Rose. My husband and I have only gone out twice since she was born (made sure we weren't far and home by 10). I always felt not to burden people if she woke up crying after she went to sleep (she did this when she was smaller & sometimes still does). She goes to sleep with no problems on her own 99% of the time. A bottle is part of our bedtime routine, but we're working on getting rid of it. Tomorrow night we are going to dinner and movie for my hubbies birthday....YEAH!! But only by the pressures of my sister telling me to let her spend the night at her house. I gave in...now I'm worried. I don't want Rose to be frightened when it's time for her to go to sleep because she's not at home and w/o mommy & daddy. I know she will be fine, but it's me. I plan on bringing 2 lovies and some of her familiar toys. She will sleep on an air matress with my niece, so she's not alone.

What else can I do to reassure 'myself' she will be O.K.? I'm sure I won't sleep because I'll be missing her so much.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Well...I made it. We dropped my daughter off at 4:30 went downtown for dinner and a movie. However....we saw 'The Orphange'. He got to pick the movie since it was his b-day. I asked my husband if it was going to make me sad and want to hug Rose. He said he didn't know.....it did. We got home around 11:30...way way way past my 9:30 bedtime. It felt weird with her room empty...I kept her light on so it didn't look so dark. I woke up a few times during the night. It was like Christmas morning when I was a child...I couldn't wait for morning and pick her up. I called a couple times to check on her. She was fine. My brother-in-law said all she did was walk around, scream and laugh. New things to look at. She did wake up a couple of times. She ended up sleeping in my sister's bed. When I saw her this a.m., let me just say she's more excited when I get home from work. We are going to try again next month.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I will say....coming home with an empty child's room is awful....this may sound bad, but I cannot imagine how it is for parents who loose a child. You must be so strong and makes me treasure my time with her even more.

More Answers

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Chances are, the night will be much more difficult for you than her. Tell her that you and daddy are going out for the night and she's staying with her aunt and her cousins. I bet she'll have so much fun that she won't even notice you're gone. *sorry* Also, don't let her know how nervous you are. If she picks up on it, she will be frightened. Make sure your sister knows exactly what the bedtime routine is, so she can follow it. I have no doubt that you'll be worried and missing her, but try to enjoy yourself. I don't know how old Rose is, but I'm guessing she's the same age as my dd. I know whenever my little one stays somewhere else, she tends to sleep better than when she's at home. Not sure why that is. Enjoy your kid free night! I bet when this one's over, you'll already be planning the next one!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,
My son has a crib at my mom's house and he spends the night there once in a while. He's 16 months and does just fine. But he's been doing this since he was about 3 months. Does your daugther go to daycare? If she can fall asleep there, then she should be fine as long as her routine is followed. I"m sure your sister will call you if Rose is having a hard time. But try to get out more often. This will be good for you, your husband and Rose!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Chicago on

My husband and I actually went to Jamaica for 5 days when my twins were 16 months old and my older daughter was 5. My mother, mil, sister and husbands niece all helped out by staying at our house. It was really tough the first day/night there, but after calling and checking on them we were able to have a great time after that.

Go out and enjoy yourself for an evening. I think once you get home and realize you have the house to yourself for the evening you will be fine.

Enjoy.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Terre Haute on

L.,

Take a deep breath. Okay Time to Exhale. Now Rose will be staying with your sister. Does your sister visit often? Is Rose comfortable with her? If so then that is a really good sign. She will be just fine. Your sister has children and understands that she has stepped up and is taking the responsibility of your darling little Rose. IF she wakes in the middle of the night Your sister will be there for her and rock and cuddle her. Rose will be SAFE. Just keep telling yourself that if you did not trust your sister with your lil' girl then you would not be doing this at all.

You and your hubby really need some time to yourselves!! Go and have fun. How many times do a couple that have young children go on "dates" You are so lucky!!!!

Take a cell phone and tell your sister that you will call just to check up on Rose and make sure that everything is going well. Don't call after 8-9 at night. Let your sister try to put the baby asleep with no interuptions.

And just think of all the Romantic things that the night might hold for you and your husband with no interuptions coming from the baby monitor. :o)

Good luck!!

Keep reminding yourself that you would not let her go if you did not trust your sister and that she will be SAFE AND SOUND.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.N.

answers from Chicago on

We recently had a work party in the city for my husbands company. Well, we had planned to stay in the city but I coach swimming and I had an early swim meet and my husband had some work to do so we decided to drive home the night of the party. We had a choice to keep our 5 month old at home with us and pick her up at her grandparents house around 1am or sleep at home without her and pick her up in the morning.

I decided to let her stay the night at Grandma and grandpas. She did great and could have cared less where she was! Her grandparents spoiled her with love and attention all night and in the morning. I was nursing at the time so I had pumped at home and she had my milk with her. She did great. The hardest for me was walking out the door. Once I got out the door and on her way I was completely confident in my in laws. I have a great husband they raised him so why worry about my daughter??? Trust your sister! And have a great time:)

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K.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi L.,
My 16 month old spent the night with my sister over the holidays, I know exactly how you feel ;)

My dd sleeps in a crib so I brought her a playpen. I would recommend making it as close to whatever she sleeps in at home.
Also, I saw someone suggest your sister coming to your house, as nice as that sounds, and it would be easier since your daughter will feel at home, I also believe that at this age they are ready for exploration of the world.
Being in someone elses house is good for them.
My daughter slept great in a playpen in their room.

She did cry everytime she walked by the door where she said bye to mommy
:( and say mamamamama
It broke my heart to hear that BUT she spent time with her aunt and it is GOOD for her to know others besides mommy and daddy love her and care about her and care for her....
Also made her appreciate me more! She came back wanting hugs, kisses, constatnly caressing me everytime she came near me :)

Amy

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

L. -
By the time you read this your daughter will have already had her "sleepover". I hope it went well. I just wanted to say that I had the hardest time being away from my boys when they were little. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy my time away because I was so worried about them! Over the years, though, it's gotten easier and they survive just fine. They learn by doing it that mom and dad always come back! It wasn't too long before they actually looked forward to spending the night at Grandma and Grandpa's. Makes it a lot easier to go and enjoy yourself! Good luck on future outings!
M. G.
(sahm to 2 boys - 7 & 9)

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

That is so exciting that you and your hubby will have a nice night alone!! I am a firm believer that every couple needs to get away from the kids once in a while to enjoy eachother and act like a married couple, not parents! Your daughter will be just fine! I'm sure you will be thinking of her the whole night, but try not to let it ruin the evening! You will be so glad to have the night alone, and then you can look forward to giving your daughter big hugs and kisses in the morning. Your sister has gone through this already, so you know Rose will be well taken care of. My advice would be to just think only of you and your husband while out, talk about things other than the baby, and enjoy!!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

1. Have a great time
2. Your anxiety may rub off on your daughter. So "fake it" being very confident and casual about the sleep over.
3. Don't worry about burdening a baby sitter with wake ups. They are doing it for a one night stint and are not worried about being tired the next day, starting bad habits, etc. They will just respond however you ask them to without over thinking it. It is not as stressful for the sitter as for the parents!
Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Just keep thinking , she is with your sister. Who better to leave her with than her own family. She will probably have so much fun with her cousin, she will just go to sleep.

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N.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, L.! I can certainly understand your apprehension - I have a 15-month-old, and it's hard for me to leave him to go on dates with my husband, but we do try once a month. I've never left him overnight, so I can't imagine. Good for you - it's important to focus on your relationship with your husband too!

Just one thing: I read recently that babies shouldn't sleep on air mattresses. Do you have any other options, such as a Pack-N-Play or other portable crib? Here is a link to the Consumer Products Safety Commission article about air mattresses: http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml08/08137.html

Be safe, and have a wonderful date! Write in again and let us know how it goes. :)

N.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

This might sound bad, but if you drink, have a couple of drinks! :) It will relax you and help you feel better about it. And, of course, if you have a cell phone, I would call to say good night at bedtime.

I think Connor was only 2 months old the first time we left him overnight. I have always felt very strongly that it is good for children to stay with close relatives so if something happens and they HAVE to, then they are comfortable. It was really hard the first couple of times, but once I was out I had a great time.

Enjoy this time with your husband. A happy marriage helps lead to happy children.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

The most important thing to remember is that she will be with your sister. Someone who loves her and will take good care of her. I was nervous the first time too, but you will realize that your little one is getting bigger. And this will be good for her to spend time with her aunt and cousin.

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't want to dash your hopes. We just had a couple TERRIBLE nights over Christmas because even though we were there in the next room, my son was sleeping in a new bed in a new place. Has she ever stayed there while you were with her? You are right to worry a bit only because if this is her first time at your sister's it could be hard. Any chance you sister can come to your house instead? It would be much easier on your daughter if she wakes up in the middle of the night and she's not in a strange place. We've never had any trouble leaving Eli in his own bed with a baby sitter, but I guess he couldn't handle waking up in these strange places. He really didn't sleep well until a couple nights after we got home.

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C.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am going through the same kind of ordeal right now, however I am going to New York City with my oldest son for his school and have never left my 21mo old over night due to nursing still at night let alone go out with my man.....I know how you feel and I am with you on the worrying however only positive attitude and self reassurance can help this matter....I wish there were magic words to be said to make us feel comfortable about leaving our children but unfortunately there are no magic words...good luck and I am sure everything will be fine....you must just keep telling yourself they will be fine...something you could do is have your sister promise you if she wakes no matter what time to call you just to let you know she is okay.....

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