Wiping Advice

Updated on February 21, 2009
J.C. asks from Bronxville, NY
14 answers

Hello,

My daughter is 2 ½ and is just about 100% potty trained. My problem is that she wants to do her own wiping. For pee, I’m not too concerned. But for poo – it’s another story. She tries to do it on her own but she ends up making a mess and now it has become a struggle. She will fight me and not let me wipe and she will especially fight my mother-in-law who watches her three days a week. Has anyone encountered this issue? I understand her need for independence, however, she’s too young to be able to do it properly. Thanks in advance for the advice!

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D.D.

answers from New York on

I understand that her independence can get you frustrated. Have you tried letting her use actual wipes instead of tiolet tissue. Sometimes this helps with cleaning themselves properly. Also tell her that she needs to wipe herself until there's no poop on the wipe/tissue. I hope this helps a little bit! I tell mine to roll their sleeves up also just in case it gets extra messy.

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R.M.

answers from New York on

My advice would be to let her wipe then help her wash with soap and water.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

my daughter is the same way i bought her those kando wipes with the frog on the case and it helps. good luck

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M.M.

answers from Rochester on

My daughter is the EXACT same way. What I do is give her wipes to wipe herself with. I tell her to make sure she wipes really good and then I follow it up with another wipe. The way I see it is if she gets dirty at least we're in the bathroom where I can clean her up right away. Good luck with it!

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K.I.

answers from New York on

Hi JC,

Unless you want dodo everywhere you and your mom have to be very firm. That means upsetting your daughter and putting down limits. I would go in first and get everything out and then let her finish the job - whether she likes it or not. The reason? Some forms of do do is so messy and smeary (is that a word?) that it can get every where. Also there was an outbreak of some disease in the Riverdale, section of the Bronx due to this. It happened in a daycare center due to the wee little ones not wiping the way they should. It was on the news it spread through out the community, in families, schools etc. People were ending up in the hospital. The wee little ones get it on their hands or toilet handle or clothes and spread it by accident. Everyone in your household could become sick and end up in the hospital. She is only two - I can assure you - no matter how hard she tries she will not wipe correctly.

At the end of the broadcast the newscaster said, "The cure? Wiping correctly and washing your hands afterwards."

Another aside. A teacher said a child was coming to school with such stinky breath. She didn't even want the boy coming to her desk to ask a question his breath was so bad. When talking to the mother about the situation the mother said, "Yeah, he gets so upset when I try to brush his teeth I leave him."

That's parenting today.

Good Luck and congratulations on a fully potty train little girl. My daugther was fully potty trained at 2 1/2 as well.

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R.E.

answers from New York on

tell her that everyone needs to take turns. maybe that will help.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Don't discourage her I think it is great that she wants to do it herself after all practice makes perfect. Get regular baby wipes instead of using toilet paper. Tell her she can do it and then mommy or grandma has to check after she is done to make sure she is all clean. The wipes will do a much better job and if you let her do it first I am sure she will let you check to make sure she is clean. Good luck

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N.D.

answers from New York on

Let her wipe and then say you want to 'check'. Then finish the job. Explain that she didnt get it all and you are just helping her. Hopefully she is wiping before she gets off the toilet otherwise her cheeks go together and its very hard to clean.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi,
I have 2 1/2 year old twin girls who are potty training. Actually, one is just about done and the other is barely beginning. I thought wiping was a bit young at this age as well. I've had a slight change of view since I recently enrolled the girls in childcare a few days starting in the fall and they said if they are potty trained they have to wipe all by themselves! So, I've been letting them wipe first on their own and then making sure they did a good job (even showing them the toilet paper if they missed a spot). I'm also going to give flushable wipes a try. Good Luck!

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S.T.

answers from Albany on

J C, I understand and I have two potty trained and one we will try to make it an issue to work on potty training. Anyways, I would make it clear and be firm that she can do it after you do it. That way, the dirtyness will be over with and she'll still have the independence. That is what I do with brushing teeth. I brusth their teeth and then have them do it afterwards. At least I know that I got all their teeth cleaned and they can practice and have independence. I stand my ground regardless what they do and don't like. It may have to be that you and your mother-in-law stand on your grounds and make it clear that she is to do it your way. That's wonderful she wants independence but when it comes to cleanliness and stuff, you wipe her then she can. If you let her do it first, it'll be messy and then you get into the messiness....yikes. That's my opinion and hope I was helpful. Let us know how it went. :)

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R.H.

answers from New York on

Hi J C,
My daughter is almost 2.5 and I have the same issue. I let her wipe first, than tell her her coolie(hiny, whatever you call it), will hurt if she doesn't let me do it.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Have you tried keeping wet wipes in the bathrooms so at least she increases the chances of cleaning herself thoroughly? She is obviously exerting independence and you want to encourage that. Have her count how many wet ones it takes until there is no more poop on the wipe. Then the potty rule is she gets to wipe all by herself and mommy/grandma gets ONE wipe to see how well she did. You could really get into it by keeping a sticker chart to motivate her. Good luck!

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L.P.

answers from New York on

I have the opposite problem with wiping...my son just does not want to do it. He finally is starting to, but really hates to. SO, if I were in your shoes I would not discourage her, but just be there to coach her on in the process. Then maybe if you are being positive about it, she would be open to let you "fix it up" at the end, by saying, great job...just let Mommy check it out so you don't get a rash or get poopy on your pretty underwear. Something like that.

Hope that helps. But 2 1/2 is a good time to get her on the way to independence in that area...like I said, I'm frustrated with the opposite situation and Mommy does not want to be wiping butts forever! :)

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N.S.

answers from Albany on

My child did the same exact thing. I purchased a watering can, filled it with warm water after he used the bathroom and washed him with it. Then he was able to use tissue to "dry." No fuss, no mess, and a cleaner baby. Its a win-win idea.

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