Will My Child Get Addicted to the DVD Player in the Car???

She's a toddler. She asks, you say no. If she throws a fit, too bad.

I have one in the car, mainly for the older two. My 2 year old will point to it and I tell him, "No movie." He may fuss a little about it so I tell him no again and that's it. It's not even worth a tantrum to him.

I would do without it except maybe -- maybe -- for long trips. I know families whose kids assume it will always be on; they watch videos from their house to the store (10 minutes), from the store to school, (five minutes) and so on. The kids don't throw fits to see things but they are SO used to it that it becomes background noise but is always a distraction; rather than talking to other kids in the car they just stare. I wonder how families who use it all the tiime ever teach their kids just to look out a window and enjoy the scenery or use their imaginations? Kids need time that is free of flickering images that do the imagining FOR them, so that is why we have always limited TV and have never had it in the car.

I recommend you ditch it altogether, even for long trips. Get books on CD instead. My daughter has listened to stories on CD since she was very small and still does today. It exercises the imagination and the ability to listen without having to look.

I disagree with the poster who said the screen time issue is "bologna." It's not a sandwich meat, it's fact:Go to the American Academy of Pediatrics at www.aap.org and look at the link to "Media and Children" where they note that studies find that "excessive media use can lead to attention problems, school difficulties, sleep and eating disorders, and obesity." That includes all media use but let's face it, for smaller ones the issue is mostly TV on all the time, everywhere. Don't stress about it; just find other outlets for her, mostly books and more books and yes, books on CD in the car, along with plenty of music!

I didn't read thru all of the answers, all I can say is you do what you have to do in the longer car rides. I used a dvd at this age and it was invaluable. My daughter would have screamed the whole trip otherwise. She is 3 now, and doesn't expect a dvd in the car at all. And after a couple of car trips at that age 14-22 mos old, I used it and she never demanded it. It was more of a gift for me to have some peace. I would say, don't worry so much about these things It's not going to permanently damage them to get a little screen time here and there. And it sounds like you are diligent about not letting her have tv anyway. It will be fine.

Bad idea to start for short trips. Yes, your daughter will demand it. Hook it on only for special long trips and take the holder off the rest of the time. You just don't need to fight that fight every time you get in the car. She may grow out of wanting to watch a movie in the car but it won't happen quickly so you'll have a long few years where she whines for it.

Yes, she would get 'addicted'. You would be setting yourself up for even more/worse temper tantrums if you started this at the way too young age of 16 months. DVD players in the car are for long road trips only!

Oh, and the 'screen time' issue is a bunch of bologna. IMO :) You're stressing over absolutely nothing.

My children only watch TV in the car for long (over 4hr) car trips. I've seen other kids that have access to TV in the car and they aren't even buckled in yet demanding the TV be turned on just for a 10 min ride to the store! I personally think TV in the car all the time is a bad idea. Kids are more plugged in now days and that is just one more thing you can add to the list!

S.

We only use ours for longer road trips. I wouldn't for the shorter ones.

We have a portable one and only use it for longer trips. I don't think they need it for short trips to the store. That's my time to talk with my kids and play games like "I spy" in the car. I commend you for making it 16 months with no TV. That is very hard to do in this day and age but you seem like you put a lot of pressure on yourself to go by the book. You are not a failure just because you don't do it exactly like the AAP says. There are a lot of things I swore I would never do as a mom...until I had kids! Give yourself a break!

Our rule is no DVD unless we are going out of state, like to Grandma's.
We also do not allow electronics on short trips, so no Gameboys/DS's for trips around town.
Make no mean no.

You're not giving her heroine! Jeez. Addicted is such a strong word to use.
I'm really surprised by the number of people on here that are so strict about limiting TV. The AAP has lots of guidelines about raising kids. And most of them are generated due to the extreme number of idiots out there that are clueless, and eventually bring lawsuits. (ie: don't let your child play near the fireplace...they may fall in...)

Here's another spin...she might not like watching TV in the car. My kids don't. I tried the DVD a couple of time on some longer drives, and they didn't care at all. Didn't stop the screaming to get out one bit.

I only allow our car DVD player to be used on road trips that are 2 hours or more. Once in awhile I will relent for a 1.5 hour trip ;-) I NEVER use it around town. I believe children should be taught from the beginning to entertain themselves and to deal with being bored. We listen to tons of music (and I love Kids Place Live on Sirius/XM) and we talk. Even when my kids were little like yours, I would talk to them and constantly point out what we were driving by. Give her some books to look at if it doesn't make her sick.

Don't put up with tantrums over anything! Yes, they're going to happen on occasion, but they shouldn't be happening constantly. Get to the bottom of that issue and teach her NO.

Also -yes, "EXCESSIVE" use of media and tv is harmful, but I agree that the "absolutely no screen time" mandate is silly. Kids shouldn't be watching much, but 30 minutes of Thomas or Sesame Street isn't going to harm your child unless they already have some type of disorder it aggravates.

The AAP is just like any other group -they issue these draconian statements because of the morons in the world. Teachers and doctors as well as society in general see so many young children who are horribly behind in speech, reading and social behavior because their sorry, lazy parent or parents just stick them in front of a television all day, every day. So -it's easier just to say that any television is harmful, when it's actually not if you don't use it as a babysitter and dole it out in small increments.

I am hardcore against having one personally and we are a TV watching family. I know so many people use them because they have a half-hour or more daily commute each way, but I prefer to talk to my children and listen to music when in the car. We didn't use a DVD player or the Netflix on our phones and iPad during our past road-trips (about 3 hours each way) and will not use one when we drive from Phoenix to Disneyland with our (by then) 3 year old. I know too many kids and parents who use them regularly (add smartphones and iPads to that too) when driving, when at a restaurant, when visiting at someone's house, whenever and where ever, just to keep the kids quiet, instead of interacting with people, taking in their surroundings, learning from the world or using manners. They have become.e the technological equivalent to a binky.

my experience with it has been, we've never owned one, deliberately. we did borrow one for two 1000 mile road trips, and in the four ways (there and back for two trips) we used it about once (he was 3 at the time). i don't think they are necessary at all, and honestly, i do think you're right about setting a precedent.

she should allow you to put her into her seat and strap her in safely, because if she doesn't she will get a swat on the bottom and get in trouble with mommy. it's a safety issue, there's no coercion involved. i know she's little, but she's NOT too little to know "no". sounds like it's time she learned it.

and don't beat yourself up over the tv thing. limiting it and using common sense are so much more important than following someone else's guidelines. moderation is the key.

My sister used to watch my son when he was about that age. She had a DVD player in her car and started playing DVD's for him. He then wanted it in our car and would be fussy since we didn't have one. I then bought a portable one also. At first, that is all he wanted. Then it was sometimes he wanted it, sometimes he didn't. Now (he's 4) he doesn't want it. and hasn't for some time. He NEVER asks for it to be on and when I ask him he says no. Sometimes if we are going on a long drive he will watch it, but almost always ask me to turn it off. (even though sometimes I would rather he watch it so he wasn't chatting my ear off!! lol) So, yes as a novelty, she will want it all the time. But it won't stick.

We have them in our car and we just put movies on for long trips. DD would often want it on whenever we were in the car, but I just told her NO, we don't need it on if we are only in the car for 10 minutes. She would whine and fuss about it but I held firm. Now she doesn't even ask (she's 4.5 and we've had the car with the DVR players for 2 years).

She may always WANT for it to be on, but that doesn't mean you have to give in to her! Just used to telling her no and get her used to hearing no because you will be saying it a lot!

i applaud you for being so conservative with screen time! i think DVD players in the car should only be used for trips of over 2 hours. can't speak to it from experience because i never had one. i loved car time with my kids, it was the perfect time to talk with them. we had goofy silly conversations, deep impact-ful ones, thoughtful philosophical ones. i learned to appreciate all sorts of music i would NEVER have otherwise listened to. we played a vast variety of i-spy flavored games. sometimes we just enjoyed silence.
the only thing that gives me pause in your situation is your somewhat over-the-top attitude towards it all. addicted? failure? disaster? really?
it's important, and it's good that you're thinking about it. but i think you might be over-thinking by quite a bit.
the AAP isn't a terrible resource and it doesn't hurt to check in with 'em. but there's really no need to adhere slavishly to their recommendations.
your child isn't even 2 yet. you have plenty of time to develop a good firm no-nonsense 'no' when she tantrums.
and she will. no matter what the AAP says.
good luck!
:) khairete
S.

We don't have a dvd player in our car and I don't plan to ever get one. I do allow my son to watch t.v. at home though (he is 4). Per the AAP guidelines, yes, no t.v. before 2 but honestly, I think probably 1 percent of children actually make it to 2 with no t.v. They are probably Amish anyway! lol I think that it's totally ok to let her watch an educational video like "Bee Smart Baby" or other educational, slow moving show at her age for under 1 hour a day. But that is just my opinion. You need to do what you feel comfortable with and not feel guilty at all. Moms need breaks too, especially if you are a SAHM. What's with the tantrums around town though? Like if she doesn't want to do what you ask or wants something you are not willing to give her? Don't ever use use the T.v. for tantrums...but you already know that.

You're not a failure, you haven't turned it on yet! We also followed the 'no screen time' until after 2 years old, too. We don't have a DVD player in the car, but we do have a portable one that we use for trips and longer travel. We don't use it for anything else. I can only comment on our family, but we've decided that we won't be allowing the DVD player in the car for anything other than vacations, etc. I see nothing wrong with allowing my child the opportunity to let her mind and imagination wander while we're tooling around in the car. Then I also don't have to deal with arriving at a location and the "program" hasn't ended yet. Anyway, to each their own, but you may be setting yourself up for something worse than a tantrum in the future. Good luck w/ whatever you choose!

First off, PLEASE do not feel like a failure if you allow her to watch it. If anything, you are making the road trip more enjoyable for all. Road trips are supposed to be fun and you should do whatever it takes to make that happen.

As for a possible future habit, just be strong and limit the television...even at this age. Even though she's quite young, explain to her, in a basic yet clear way, that it's just a treat and not a regular thing. If anything, it'll probably make her fall asleep. What I would do is leave it off and try everything you can to keep her happy...ONLY turn it on as a last resort.

Good Luck!

I would definitely stick to your guns on no tv while running errands. A friend of mine did this for the exact same reason...to get some peace while running around town. The tantrums have just morphed into other things..."I can't hear it!" "I don't like this one, change it.". "I watched this one last time." "It's not working!", She said it's made getting into the car for anything an absolute nightmare.

I think car tantrums are pretty normal. I know both of my kids went through it. We had special toys that stayed in the car and were allowed in the grocery store. For my son it was a mini magnadoodle board and a set of keys that made noises. For my daughter she loved a mini etch a sketch and her counting leapfrog phone. Same idea, but you are able to stick to your guns a bit more.

Ours has a built in DVD player. We only use it on longer car trips. My kids 8 and 6 know this is the rule and don't ask for it when we are just driving around town.

We are a "no tv" family too (at least for the kids - the hubs and I still watch after they go to bed). My 2 year old also gets grumpy about car rides. A couple of things we do are bring books for her to look at (at 16 months you might want to try books with activity flaps or touchy feely pages), listen to kids cds and sing along or just talk about what we see as we are driving. It is a phase they go through and she will probably grow out of it even without the DVD player.

My experience is that unless you have the remote and the DVD player set out of reach of little hands, you spend a lot of time fixing it. My DD has a DVD player for the car (family use) and really it only comes out on LONG trips. It's preloaded with Shaun the Sheep (her favorite car DVD). At 16 months, I'd find other ways to entertain the kiddo.

My DD could take or leave the DVD player. I drove 3 hours to my cousin's house and it never even came up.

If she gets too attached to the TV, then you turn it off. Let her cry a bit, she'll get past it. We tell DD that the TV has to go take a nap and it goes off so she'll find something else to do.

I found that when my DD went through a phase of tantrums, so did all the babies of a similar age. And lo and behold - it was around the time they learned to crawl or walk. They probably don't like to be strapped in! But they have to be, so bring some soft toys, or special things she only sees in the car. A small cloth bag with something special for her to discover...worked for my DD. And music. Often soothed the savage baby.

Here's something to bear in mind - kids are different. There are generics that work with most, but unless you're a real screw up, you'll find your path to her 18th birthday just fine. Don't worry if YOUR kid didn't get the exact memo as the books. Don't fret every detail. Make informed decisions and if you mess up, say you're sorry and move on to something else. Don't go through parenthood expecting a disaster.

We started only using ours for long road trips. Then we'd turn it on so the hubby and I could talk. Then I'd use it because they were being good - or we were in traffic.

We just got a new car and didn't get that feature! I was so excited!! Both of our SUV's have one, and we traded one of them in for a hybrid sedan. The kids know they can't wait a movie in there at all.

Now, this weekend I'm taking the kids out of town and we'll be on the road for 5 hours on Friday and Sunday. I'm going to let each of them download one new movie to their Kindle Fire's and they can watch those on the trip - or nap :).

We had one but only used it for long road trips.
On the other hand I had no problem turning on the TV at home, at that age specifically pbs (sesame st, mr. rogers, etc.)
And sorry, nothing "normal" about tantrums, not sure what that's about???

Everything in moderation. I don't have a DVD player in my car for just this reason. We use a portable one for longer trips. I visited a friend up north for a week and she had a DVD player in the car that her girls always watched. Throw my boy in the mix who was not used to that and they were fighting over what to watch. (They were ages 4 and 6 at that time). I flipped out on them and told them they were lucky to even have a DVD player in the car, most children don't have that privilege and if they were going to whine about it, it was going to be turned off, which is what I did. They could not believe that I turned their beloved DVD player off as their Mom was driving and she didn't say anything except "go C.". They were quiet after that and learned to amuse themselves.
I have another friend whose boy has to constantly be entertained by the DVD or IPOD touch or Smartphone no matter if we are in the car or where ever. He is 6 and will flip out if told no, that he can't have these things. He eventually gets over it, so I know he can deal with it. I think it is just a sign of the times and that this generation needs to be amused at all times. Again, moderation. But I will go down fighting and will not have a kid screaming because he can't watch a dvd on the way to the store!