I'm still getting use to driving my giant Minivan (I drove a very small car for a good 20 years). In any case, my neighbor parked half-way across her driveway, right across from my driveway last week. She normally parks in a different place on the street, but my hubby's car was in her way. When I went to back out, I didn't see her car where it normally is, so of course I hit her car. In fact, I couldn't have backed out the direction I wanted to go without hitting her car. (I hate the way our street is set up!)
I immediately told her to get a quote, that i'd pay for it, etc. I gave her the check. Her hubby buffed out most of the dent, and they are now $687 richer. Her car is 12 years old, so I'm not surprised they aren't fixing it. But would you take such a large sum of money from a neighbor and not get the car fixed?
These neighbors are renters. Not sure if that matters, they've lived there 2 years now.
I keep reminding myself of the good deed I am doing by giving them the money. it is the right thing to do. So I'm OK with it all, but I was just curious, what is the right thing for them to do? If it was me, I would have said "don't worry about it, it's an old car," but I'm not like most people.
I just keep getting reminded of my terrible mistake when I see her car. If she'd get it all the way fixed, I'd at least not be reminded of my mistake --I felt awful about it. Instead, I get to see this tiny indention, it's like this giant reminder of what a truly shitty week I had last week (found out FIL is dying of cancer).
since I hit her car, my neighbor has stopped parking on the street --her normal parking spot. I'm actually surprised her car hasn't been hit before. Another car was recently hit on the street, as there isn't really much room to park on the street, allowing other cars to back out. I'm super happy she has stopped making it hard for me to back out of my driveway!
BTW, I wasn't trying to run from any responsibility. I know I was at fault, thus why I gave her the money and didn't involve the insurance. I do look at it as a good deed, however, because I could have asked to see a bill instead of one quote. I could have called the cops and had them see if she was parked illegally (she was partly blocking her own driveway). I didn't do any of these things, I owned my mistake and immediately rectified it by paying her a large sum of money.
you paid for the damage you did to their property. If that happened to my old car and I was really tight on bills I'd probably not fix it and use the money for bills or groceries and pay later to fix it when I could with my own money. Either way you are paying for damage you did. they might need money more than you do so you cant say what you'd do in their shoes.
You did what needed to be done, dont worry about it anymore. I always do stuff like this when Im super stressed. It doesnt help matters does it?
I think its a wake up call, to me anyways, to slow down and think straight.
:)
Be careful!
I bumped into a beat up old truck used by a gardener. Tiny bump. I thought they'd forget about it since it was so minor and the truck was very beat up. Less than a week later they contacted me. I can promise you they took the money and never got the truck repaired. They saw this as an opportunity to make a financial gain.
um. you didn't do a good deed. you righted the wrong that YOU enacted. you hit their car, it's up to you to make reparations.
it's really none of your business whether they party with the money or use it for something else or get the car fixed.
there is never an 'of course' when you hit someone's car. she was in her driveway. you hit her. your fault.
they don't need to fix their car so you're not reminded of your mistake.
it's not about you.
khairete
S.
Yes, I would. The thing is you must make them whole, they are made whole by paying the full amount that it would cost them to properly repair the car. Sure he buffed it out himself and that took labor on his part and that he didn't properly repair it removed value from the car. So even though he pocketed the money he will still lose it in the back end when he gets rid of the car.
After reading your what happened I feel compelled to point out she was not required by law to produce a bill before you had to pay. She only had to produce an estimate. No one is required by law to fix a car damaged by themselves or others. You on the other hand are required by law to make them whole.
I'm an insurance agent in AZ. I know its hard to swallow, but you hit her car so you need to pay for it. Had it gone thru insurance, you would have had to pay your deductible AND had an AT FAULT ACCIDENT on your record for 3 years....not good. So yes, its her option to actually fix the car or not. She could have done that if she got the check from the insurance company. This happens a lot. And the age of the car doesn't matter. If she is to sell it, it brings the value down so she would take a hit on it on her selling price. So just try to let it go. You did the right thing. Good luck! P.S. Next time, get THREE estimates as they can be a huge difference, pay the lesser of the 3.
Let it go.
You did the responsible thing.
You damaged her car (doesn't matter if it was a Pinto or a Mercedes--it was HER CAR).
You paid for it.
You're done.
Actually SHE could have turned it in and YOUR insurance would have increased--so she did YOU a good deed by letting you pay for it out of pocket with no insurance claims involved.
Sorry about your FIL :(
Your collision is actually pretty normal.
Many people with new vehicles have small collisions when they first purchase a larger vehicle than they are used to. Parking garages, parking lots.. anywhere that backing up is required.
You did what you were responsible for. At least this is not on your insurance record, they could increase your policy..
It is up to them how they spend or use the money..
Let it go..
It doesn't matter how old her car is or whether she gets it fixed or not. You damaged it, so you get to pay for it.
I know that it sucks but your entire post you somehow try to justify what happened to make it not your fault: you're not used to the car, the car is too big, the neighbor parked in the wrong place (BTW where I live it is not illegal to park blocking your own driveway, you just can't block someone else's), the street is set up wrong, there was no way to avoid it....
I think you will have to come to the realization that these $687 where in fact just an expensive driving lesson because you made a mistake by not backing out with care and such hitting another car! It might make you feel better to think of it as "charity", but really fact of the matter is you messed up and paid for it. Sucks being reminded of that every day when you look at her car, but such is life. Better to accept that and move on.
Good luck.
You did the right thing. And you don't know her story. Maybe that money helped them pay bills they might not otherwise have been able to pay.
You made a mistake, you did the right thing, time to leave it alone. Just be glad insurances didn't have to get involved and that your car wasn't damaged.
When I was in college, someone hit my car. I fixed what needed to be fixed to get it on the road and drive safely, and the rest paid for some of my school stuff so I didn't have to take out an extra loan.
You were paying them for the damage you caused. That in no way implies they are obligated to fix it. The money is theirs to do with as they please. Them cashing the check releases you from any/all future claims as well as the guilt you seem to be carrying about the accident. They are called accidents for a reason, if not they'd be called "on purposes." :D
I've not been in this situation before but I'd like to think I would NOT except money from my neighbor for repairs I had no intention of making. Not knowing their situation makes it difficult to say one way or another. Perhaps they were struggling financially and this just happened to come their way.
Look at it this way, the Lord works in mysterious ways. You may have inadvertently been the financial miracle they were in need of at the moment.
Peace and Blessings,
T. B
Honestly, you did the damage and made it "whole" again by paying the estiment she got. If you would have called the cops it would have added points to your lisence and then your insrance cost would have gone up and you may have had to pay out the deductible anyways (if you have one).
As to her getting it fixed... since I'm sure if it is an older car, she doesn't have a note so she has the right to fix it or not. I know you would rather her fix it, but their is no law against her driving a dinged up car.
As to them being renters... I don't see why that was even metioned or any issue with it - there are good long/short term renters just as there are bad ones... there are also bad home owners as well as good home owners.
Atleast she didn't have to make a report, cause issues with your driving record - make you spend time in court and all the other B.S that can happen when you have an accident.
BTW - sorry about your FIL - I wish the family the best and him as little suffering as possible!
I would let it go. You did the right thing by paying the bill. She can choose to use that money any way she or he chooses. No big deal. Maybe she or he is trying to save to purchase another vehicle. I probably wouldn't have fixed the dent either. I would have put that money in savings for when the car eventually dies.
I'm so sorry about your FIL. Yours is the second post I've read in a day about family members dying of cancer.
Please let this go. Your neighbors did the right thing, and so did you. They could have insisted on getting your insurance info, and you would have been out the deductible and STILL be looking at the dent in the car.
It doesn't matter that they are renters. Their property means something to them. They would probably buy a new car if they could afford one. The money that you gave them is probably LESS than it really would have cost to get a good place to fix it (the car places seem to always find something wrong underneath.)
I'm sorry, but they deserve to be paid for the damage to their car, regardless of whether or not they fixed it.
Again, so sorry about your FIL. Hugs to you and your family through this tough time.
Dawn
My hubby did the same thing. He backed into our neighbor's son's old BMW...and I mean it was an old, beat up and tired car. We watched them jump it about every other time he left. We were trying to avoid insurance. We told them that we'd fix the bumper, just get us a quote. My hubby only dented to bumper. So later that evening, they knocked on the door and wanted us to call a tow truck to take it home. When my husband mentioned it was only the bumper, their son informed us that he was too terrified to drive it home, because he didn't know what else we had done to it when it was backed into. Then he also started mentioning the repair costs and how he wanted to be reimbursed for "sentimental value" of the car. That's when we stopped them and told them to file an insurance report. A few weeks later the mother "thanked" us for her son, apparently he wound up getting almost a grand for that. I still have no idea how that happened, the car wasn't worth a grand. He never got it repaired and every time he came over we were reminded of the money spent on him. It's annoying, but it's legal and their right to do so. It's annoying and unneighborly, but don't beat yourself up over it. It was a small accident during a rough week. We've all made driving errors. You did it, you made them whole and now it's over. No one was hurt, insurance didn't get involved and maybe the money really helped them. It's not all bad mama!
I agree with you, I would feel a bit stiffed too. It's hard to say to someone, "I know I hit your car, but it's not that bad, so I don't think I should pay you that much." So, you did do the right thing, obviously (and you know that). But I'd still feel stiffed.
I don't understand why there is even any question about it. YOU HIT THEIR CAR. Whether or not you value their car or them as neighbors, you are responsible. Whether or not you are used to driving your new car, your husband parked where he usually does, or your street is set up perfectly, you are responsible. You paid them, not because you are nice and it was a good deed, but because you are responsible for the damages. I am really surprised at the number of people who think it is up for discussion.
To answer your question, I would never have taken that money from you. Not on a 12 yr old car.
You did the right thing, but I wouldn't have taken your offer.
I hit my neighbor's car just before I moved in, almost exactly the same thing you did. It was a really embarrassing "hello". He got the estimate from his mechanic. I paid the $550. It didn't go to insurance and raise my rates. I would look at it as you did your part and it's over. Maybe they had a need that came up or maybe they had no intention of getting it repaired and just took your money. But either way do not feel guilty. Maybe they will remember how to park in the future. My neighbors now do not park directly across from our driveway...where it's legal, but not smart. Move on and take care of your FIL.
Once you put that money into their hands, it becomes their money and they are free to do with it what ever they choose. Sucks. Yes but it is what it is.
Let it go and keep it moving. Seems to me there are better things for your mind to be occupied with over and above this minor situation.
I would use my energy and time for making FIL's life as comfortable as possible and discovering as much about him and his life as I could. The kinds of things you would want your children to know about his life history and character and just lavishing him and your husband with tons of love and affection.
Avoid the rabbit hole of dwelling on the mistakes of the past. Live in the present and consider your future.
I would have called the police to get an official report that I could turn in to my insurance company. That way it is all legal and there is a record of the payment and other stuff.
The fact that they chose to not fix the car any more than they did shows me that they know the car is not worth fixing. To be honest if my car got hit I would most likely no get it fixed either. I would use the money to buy up several months of food.
You did the right thing . . . what they do now is their problem. You should have a clear conscience.
Is there an underlying issue of not liking your house or neighborhood? Could that be what's really bothering you? I'd try to get at the root cause of the negativity. Sounds like you're having a rough time.
I'm so sorry, too, about your FIL.
Yeah, I get it. I think I would be cross about it. Next time, I would tell them you'll pay to have it fixed, and then write the check to the repair company.
I don't think there is anything you can do about it now.
I know what you mean. Would I take the money? At first I thought I wouldn't. If I wasn't going to fix it, I didn't think I would take the money. Then I looked out the window and saw my 1999 minivan and started thinking that I might take the money and not fix the van but put the money towards a newer minivan.
I really do know what you mean, though. I think if I were you I would probably feel like she took advantage of me. I know logically that's not true, but I think I would still kind of feel that way.
You did the right thing, and you are going through a difficult time. Hang in there! I'm sure things will start to get better soon.
I wouldn't characterize this as a good deed. Even if you had gone through your insurance company, there is nothing that forces her to use an insurance check for the actual repair. She could have just taken your insurance check and spent it. Actually, paying her out of pocket, rather than going through insurance, was probably less injurious to you, depending upon how much your deductible is, and having a ding on your driving record.
Just because most of the dent has been buffed out does not mean the damage has been repaired. If there is even 1 scratch, it will start to rust within a few months. Rust on a car hurts the car's value. In truth, she'd probably have been wiser to have repaired the car professionally and totally. By just taking the $ and having her hubby do a half-done repair, they'll probably have a bigger problem with it in the future.
What a truly crappy day! If it were me, I would have used the money to get the car fixed all the way. If my husband was just going to buff it out, I wouldn't have accepted the money.
You did the right thing. Your neighbor did not.
In this case, they were parked illegally so they have some responsibility in the accident. I would have told them to give you the actual bill (not a quote) for getting their car fixed and then I would have paid that. But what is done is done. From now on, report any parking violations to the police. In my sister's neighborhood, the rule is that no one can park closer than 5 feet to the curb cut for a driveway. The curb cut is where the curb starts to angle back. Find out the law in your neighborhood and then get the police to patrol and ticket offenders. That way this isn't as likely to happen again.
Wait I'm trying to understand where her car was parked I'd say that if she were illegally parked (because that it was it sounds like) I wouldn't have given her the money.
And if she took the money she was supposed to be getting the car fixed that is what her agreement was by accepting the check so I'd ask for it back.
J., you have had one helluva shitty couple of weeks.
I backed out of my driveway, a few years ago, w my van, and hit a handyman's car. He was working at my neighbor's house across the street. His car was old as well. He told me in to worry about it. Had he wanted to pursue it, I would have called the police, had a repot done, and had my insurance take care I'd it. I do understand your question. Some people take the Insurance money and never get their car's fixed. your insurance will still go up. $687 seems like a lot of damage.
Here's hoping for some good news for your and your family soon!
Updated
J., you have had one helluva shitty couple of weeks.
I backed out of my driveway, a few years ago, w my van, and hit a handyman's car. He was working at my neighbor's house across the street. His car was old as well. He told me in to worry about it. Had he wanted to pursue it, I would have called the police, had a repot done, and had my insurance take care I'd it. I do understand your question. Some people take the Insurance money and never get their car's fixed. your insurance will still go up. $687 seems like a lot of damage.
Here's hoping for some good news for your and your family soon!
wow, some people are really ragging on you... sorry for that.
You made a mistake, you owned it and took care of it. Yes they should have used the professional service that gave them the quote, but maybe money is tight for them, or they know the car is going to die soon so they used that to repair the transmission and it was so needed they can't believe their luck, or maybe they know they can't do without a car until xmas break when they only need one car so this got it liveable till then, or maybe they are just money grabbing trash. It doesn't matter. It would make ME feel mad, especially cause you do see the car all the time. But if you didn't see the car all the time you wouldn't know how they handled it and it wouldn't bother you. Impossible as it is to do, just try your hardest to get over it. Of course I still am cross over the neighbor who...
