Hello... Recently, my 13 year old son told us that his classmate said he hears voices at night that tell him to "do things" now, what these things are, I do not know.. Additionally, the child had some pills for which he told my son he was taking for ADD.. My son said, do you have a prescription for those and the child said no. My question to you is this.... Would you tell the principal or the child's teacher what you heard ? my concern is......... one... this child is going to hurt himself, hurt my son (if he finds out he said something) and/or hurt others.. or no one at all and perhaps this is just a child that may need some attention. I don't know the child very well, but my encounters with him have always been positive and previously he seemed perfectly fine. I should also add that this child's mom was sick a couple of years ago with breast cancer and I am wondering If somehow that is playing into all this... Whatever it is.. I am VERY concerned and need to know how to approach this delicate situation.. again, I also fear for my son and worry that if this kid says the voices tell him to do things.. I don't want those things done to my son... suggestions?
Well FIRST of all I would not take everything a 13 year old child told me as absolute truth. Teenagers are notoriously dramatic, I mean come ON, I love my kids and I trust them and believe most of what they tell me, but this is not exactly reliable information...
You want to get down to it? Invite the kid over, spend some time with him, talk to him, then judge. And decide what to do (or not) at that point.
I don't hear voices but I do feel my art calling to me.😉.
I would definitely take what you heard 2nd hand with a grain of salt. Honestly, from what you have written, you have no basis what so ever to believe that this child is suicidal or would ever hurt your son. I personally would do nothing at this point. If you are going to lose sleep over it however call the school's guidance counselor and express your concerns. They know how to handle it so your son is not involved.
I remember having a few friends at that age telling me things that made me uncomfortable, including one who said she was hearing voices. When I talked to my mom, she just blew off; I wish she hadn't, because it just made me more scared.
Turned out, the friend who was hearing voiced was later diagnosed as schizophrenic. Another friend was being abused. The rested of them were just messing with me, wanting attention. My friends with the issues, their parents had no clue at the time, and years later expressed the sentiment that they wished someone had spoken up sooner.
My point is that you can never be sure of what is real and what isn't, and who isn't getting help and who is. It doesn't hurt to speak to somebody who is a position to help, just in case something is wrong. If it turns out to be nothing, so be it, you did due diligence, but if something IS wrong with this kid, maybe you were the one who helped detect it early. If it is already being taken care of you can help your son cope with his feelings around this boy.
And why should he stay away from, as one poster suggested below? Is it just because he's different? Or because he said something off the wall? We need to learn compassion for people who are different from us. Just because he might have mental issues doesn't make him pariah.
ADD and ADHD can be co-morbid with other conditions, including schizophrenia. Schizophrenia usually shows up during puberty - though can show up as late as mid-20s. Most schizophrenics are not dangerous. All that said...
...maybe this is real and maybe it isn't. I am not sure who you should call, but probably someone should be told just I case this is real and isn't already being dealt with. I have not heard of this as a side effect of ADD meds, but we don't use the usual ones for other reasons.
I would call the school guidance office. It's all hearsay, but if the child is taking medications for ADD (prescription or someone else's prescription that isn't his own) then if he is hearing voices, it could possibly be a side effect? If he is taking meds not prescribed for him, then that needs attention as well... The thing is, you have no idea what pills he was taking, and I'm betting neither does your son. Would you be able to recognize a prescription ADD medication vs. an illicit or illegal drug? Would your son?
Sure, maybe the kid is trying to get attention. For me, that in itself would make me wonder why he needs that attention. Ya know? What kids volunteer that they are taking meds not prescribed for them and hearing voices just for some attention? If that is all made up for attention, then I'd wager the kid needs some--perhaps some counseling.
You can talk to the school guidance office, and they can take it from there.
If you think the child is in danger, talk to the school, perhaps a note to the counselor. It could also be that the child has a condition you are not privy to know about and your child does not have all the information.
I would think this kid may be saying this to get attention. He may have been playing a game. If he is autistic these sort of comments are a part of the autism. My 11yo grandson, who is in special ed, is autistic with several learning disabilities, still has difficulty knowing the difference between fantasy and reality. He also has ADHD. He has not taken ADHD medication but is only starting with Adderall now so i can't comment on medication side affects. My grandson has a rich imaginary life. He sees and interacts with invisible kids. The doctor said this was not a concern because the voices don't tell him to do things. Watching him I see that he's in charge of the action. In this world , he has control. He has very little control in his real life.
I suggest you talk with a professional in the guidance department. They may already know this kid and can reassure you. If not, the counselor knows how to investigate the situation. I would only talk with a counselor. Let the counselor talk with the prinncipal. The counselor will investigate and be able to give facts Instead of hearsay.
Also keep in mind that your son is telling you words without what was going on before or after. It's common for one child to misunderstand another child especially when one kid is autistic.. In addition to the words said, one needs to know how they were said and in what context. A counselor will figure it out or they already know the way the other child communicates.
I would not assume this is serious but I would talk to the school counselor.
do you know the mom? that would be the best place to start.
i agree it's a concern, but be careful about putting TOO much stock into what young teens report each other saying. much drama is common at this age. what specifically makes you 'fear for' your son?
and what specifically does your son want to do about it? is he an assertive sort who would be comfortable saying to the other kid, 'this is very worrisome and i think we need to go to the teacher and discuss this'? is he a nurturing type who wants to sit the other boy down and have a long heart-to-heart about what's going on? does this make him very nervous and uncomfortable and he really really wants out from under it and for you to take over?
these are all perfectly acceptable responses. and good for him for bringing it to you.
i think staying calm and gathering more information would be a good strategy for now.
khairete
S.
Yes, I would tell the school authorities and make sure the parents know about this.
Of course you need to take things kids say with boxes of salt, but you can't ignore them, either. You should talk to someone about this not because you are afraid for your son, but because you are concerned about the other kid, in case what your son said is true.
Had any of my kids had told me at 13 that someone said something similar, I would have believed them.
sounds like the pills the other kid is taking is causing the child to hear things that arent being said outside the childs head. but..first, hedge your bets, and keep your child to stay away from the kid, just in case the voices in this other kids head is telling them to hurt someone..mainly your kid. add meds are not harmless, they can cause hallucinations and paranoid behaviour in people who take them recklessly without a prescription. talk to the other kids parents, and tell them your concerns about their kids behaviour..they might not know about it, then, sit down and thank your kid for telling you about the problem, but until the other kid gets some help, your kid needs to find someone else to spend time with..just in case the kid goes postal. K. h.
I would talk to the school counselor, acknowledge that you don't know for sure what is true and what is not, but still tell that person everything you have heard. Regardless of whether it is true or if he is saying it for attention, this child is crying out for help.
Most cases where there is a psychotic break it's in the late teen years or early 20's. There are cases of it happening in the early teens but it's not very often.
Please talk to the parents. Even if the school knows about this they can't say anything to you. The parents might or might not share with you either but at least they'll know something is wrong.
First you should tell your child to not hang around those type of people.Then tell the principal and the pricipal will call there mother. Also try to get to know your child and get to know his friends.
