Wedding Presents

I would of done what you did send them a card. And when they get married next summer get them a gift then. A card is fine when there not having a reception or a wedding inviting any body. When he gets married and has a reception get him a gift then.

Hi
Either way you look at it, they are married now, and a gift is appropriate.
I would not wait until they have a big wedding, what if they never get around to do it? That does happen, they might not have enough money, might get pregnant etc...and then it will be really awkward!

get something nice, and then attend the big wedding (if any) and feel good about getting the gift out of the way already!

hi My sister did the same thing. The majority of the family gave there gift at the formal wedding. Her wedding was almost 6 months after the JP wedding.

If just starting out then get them a big bag of T.P. and some white towels, or some cleaning suppl.And if then do have a big weeding then save some mony aside and get them a gift card out to eat or shopping.

Since it usually isn't appropriate to take a gift to the wedding, I don't think it matters that you give your gift way ahead of time. The fact is that you are acknowledging their union and showing them you care about them by sending your gift. Don't feel obligated to give another when they repeat the ceremony. A card would be nice, though.

Just me, but I'd give them a gift now. Who knows whether he really will have that church wedding? And they probably need their "stuff" to start their home now, not a year down the road. If and when he does have the church wedding, just give them a nice card. They'll remember you gave them a gift "now"!

My niece got married by a JP a couple of years ago with the same story, that she'd like to have a wedding sometime later. Based on this premise, I didn't send a gift. Well, it's been two years and it's now clear that there will be no big wedding. I still haven't sent anything and feel ackward about it. So if you think it will bother you not to get them something if the later wedding doesn't occur, you should send them something now. If it does, you can make a decision at that time.

p.s. I think I better send that gift now.

D.,
my husband and i were married by the jop may of last year and then we had our wedding ceremony that september with our family and friends present. We recieved gifts for each service, but no one gave us anything for both, nor did we expect it. I did not think any of our gifts or gift givers were cheap. So, please, don't think yourself cheap.
The only concern our friends and family had was "are you going to celebrate 2 anniversaries every year?" and, of course, the answer is yes, but we told them to pick one they preferred, most of them have chosen september, because that was the formal ceremony. You get to decide when you give a gift. Also note that proper edicate dictates that you have 1 year to give them a wedding gift.
The bottom line is one gift is all that is expected. If they expect more they are just greedy.
T.

I would say that it is less about what you are supposed to do and more about what you think they actually need. If they are older and have been keeping house on their own, they probably have twice the things they need and will be fine for the first year. If they are young and have basically nothing, I would send them a little something that you think might be hard to do without for the first year (like a set of measuring cups or the ever-needed heat-resistant Pyrex spatulas). Let's be honest, a year from now you won't be feeling that expenditure and you will be free to give them a $15 Target giftcard or something like that. Just use your judgment. It is about their needs and how you can support them and encourage them, not about what other folks think you should do. God bless!!

A year is a long time from now, I saw send them a gift now, after all I remember when I received our wedding gifts, it was the funniest day ever, to me a gift is like breaking the bottle of the ship to sail, its a new beginning , even if one day they hope to have a church wedding, with the way things cost so much I doubt when the year comes they want to waste the money on a formal wedding.

Blessings to the new Bride & groom

hi,

my husband and i were married by a JP, i did have a shower before then, we had a reception the following weekend and the gifts kept coming.

if your nephews situation i would give a 'toaster gift'. if they do wed in a church and then a reception, maybe a more expensive gift or just give a small amount of cash at the dollar dance with your nephew.

my young nephew was married in vegas and we wernt invited, just the immediate family went. that was cool with me but no gift.

im sure they wont be expecting you to give them two gifts. ive never heard of people expecting more than one gift for their wedding, that would be extremely selfish.
since its customary to give a gift at the wedding, thats what i (and im sure most people) would do, if you feel bad about not being able to give more, maybe just make it an extra special gift. since they are family, i think that they would appreciate anything you were able to get them. after all, receiving a gift is a privilege not a right!

good luck, let us know what you decided to do (and what you got them!)

I think a card is fine for the first wedding and then a gift for the second wedding! I guess I figure that the more they spend the more you should! =)

I personally didn't really care if my friends and family got me something (unless it was people that I just knew had the money) I just wanted them there. I HOPE that more people are like that! but they're probably not. and it seems that that is a great trick to get people to give you two gifts. =) sheesh I should have thought of that!

I think you should do what you feel is the best for you - It can get very expensive to do 2 gifts but I would probably do it now in case they dont have a formal wedding in the future and if they do take a nice picture of them yourself and frame it as the 2nd gift ,depends how close you are to nephew and what they need for there home together ,Maybe a toaster or some kitchen appliance they are always having sales these days and walmart has great prices on that stuff too- always look for the holiday sales we have the big 4th of July sales coming up might be a great time to get something then and if you want to hold onto it till they think they will have the 2nd wedding or just give it to them whenever you feel the right time is - It would be a very nice surprize for the couple and they will always remember you did something for them nice to celebrate there new marriage and life -

My husband and I did the same thing as your nephew. Because our 1st wedding was just us we didn't even expect gifts. I don't think you should be expected to send a gift if you weren't invited to the wedding. Wait for the one you go to.

D.,

I would send them a card with your blessings. If they live close, maybe drop off a personal token... like a recipe of your favorite dessert.
Say something like: Be "sweet" to each other! It can be as easy as $10. A spatula, chocolate chips, pretty kitchen towel and a recipe attached with a wide ribbon. Personal and light. I still use all of my family recipes and we've been married 13 years!

Have you thought of pulling something simple together as a family? $10 from each aunt or cousin, could purchase them pots and pans or something.... then you can be personal at the second wedding.

Good Luck,
M.

My middle son did that and everyone just gave the gifts at the formal wedding the next summer.
H.