Vacationing with Grandparents and 81/2 Mo Daughter

Hello H., I went on vacation with my parents while I was pregnant and had my 19 month old girl. To get time alone I simply went for walks with her or took her in another room and played with her toys. I also took her to bed alittle early so I could have quiet time with her before she fell asleep.
Good luck.

Try taking a walk. As long as you are all at home together it willbe hard to find some personal space. Another idea - when your daughter wakes up from a nap, go into her room to get her and stay in there for a bit of one-on-one play time. Good luck!

You need to assert yourself in a confident but non-threatening manner. You're a mom now - and sometimes grandparents don't see their adult kids as adults. Young kids can get overstimulated with too much attention, so say that your daughter needs "down" time. Can you put her in a stroller and take a brisk walk? Maybe faster than your parents can walk? Sometimes a walk will help her fall asleep - that's a good excuse. Also understand that your parents want to spend time with her, and take advantage of their need to bond with her but letting them do something with her so that YOU get some down time. Moms don't get much personal time or space, so try to use it to your advantage.

Hi H.,
I just turned 37 last week (same ageish) and am Catholic so if I can be of any help with your transition feel free to email. Best of luck.

Hi H.,
I had to live with my parents briefly two different times while we were transitioning during moves, so I can relate to this. All the responses you've gotten so far are great. Between nap times and nursing times, that's a lot of potential for alone time with your daughter. And walks are a great idea. It can be awkward vacationing with parents, particularly if you have a hard time asserting yourself. But honestly, getting things out in the open can really help. Parents and adult children both find it difficult not to revert to original roles. Parents still treat their adult children like children, and sometimes we adult children still feel insecure about our adulthood around our parents, but the thing to realize is that many times it's just as awkward for the parents as it is for us. Most of the time, I think they will be just as relieved as we are to talk things out, and won't be offended by your desire to have some personal space.

I'll be praying for you, both in this situation, and as you go through RCIA. There is so much richness in the Catholic Church.

Go for it ,take your RCIA class you will not regret it. God bless you and yours.

I vacationed with my parents when my son was 5 months old and my husband stayed behind for work. It was difficult at first and I was feeling a bit smothered by my parents and their need to always want to play with the baby, feed him, hold him and tell ME why he was crying. I was starting to feel like the nanny instead of his Mom. after a day or so of this, I applogized to them and told them I was feeling overwhelmed, and I told them how I felt in a non threatning manner. They were shocked, and applogized to me as their only intention was to soak up as much one on one time as they could with him and me. However, they understood where I was coming from and could see why I felt this way; and asked how they could help (that was a nice change.) I explained I wanted to have some quality time with him, and also give THEM quality time, as I was so blessed to have them in my life and I wanted them to be a huge part of his life. so we compromised. I took him first thing in the morning and went for long walks. During nap time I stayed with him in the room and often times snuggled with him and naped too. During the afternoon after his nap it was grandma and grampa time... and it was kind of nice for me because even though I was craving time with him, it was nice to have some free time to do whatever. My mom still made little comments through out the week about trying this or that, I took her infomation in stride and said " great, maybe I'll do that" and some of the advice I did take and it was excellent! It turned out to be one of the best vacations I ever had and a real bonding time with not only my son, but my parents too. And I think they started to see me "as a mom" and not just their daughter! So let them know how your feeling. I think if you say it in the right way, the results will be excellent and you will feel a whole weight being lifted off your shoulders. Best of luck! and OH- go for it w/ R.C.I.A- my husband did this two years ago and it was the best thing not only for him but for the both of us! Our marraige and the way we raise our kids was strenthened because of it! He made some great Christian friends and when he was baptised on easter vigil, it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen!! Best of luck w/ everything.

He rnap times and feedings coudl be your time alone..as in 'I am putting her down for her nnap now and may take one too' or 'we are going for some quiet time to feed her'

If your parents want to be included in everything, just say yout hink she needs some quiet time. If they want to feed her and really be apart of her like that make them a bottle and take sometime for yourself while they enjoy feeding her...

The reply from Diane B was right on target. I'd also note that in the whole scheme of things, a week visit isn't that long and you are right there with your daughter experiencing this trip and new adventure and her new grandparents together. Help her bond with them too and it'll benefit you all not only now but also in the future.

When I visited my parents in FL with a 4 month old, I would nurse my baby in our bedroom for naps and I'd take a book in and read while she nursed then fell asleep. Sometimes I kept her in my lap for the whole nap which I never really did at home. I guess I was figuring out some alone time with my daughter just like you are now.

If my parents offered advice or did something with my daughter that wasn't my way of parenting, I'd try to lightheartedly say, "Oh Mom, that's not my style." Or I'd simply say something generic like "That's interesting, I hadn't thought about it like that." But be sure to give your parents positive feedback and thank yous for all they do that's helpful. It's likely they are just trying to find their way through this too and want to make you and your baby happy.