Trouble with Breastfeeding

You need to RELAX. Baby's can sense when mommy is stressed. This may be adding to his inability to latch. He is still very young. As a new mom, it can be very overwhelming at first. Try to find somewhere quite, where there are no distractions. Whatever you do, do not give up. You'll both get the hang of it.

my daughter and I had trouble breastfeeding. she wasn't gaining weight. She wasn't latching well. She was getting too much air in. She had reflux, so when she did latch she usually ended up pulling off and crying only part way through. She didn't have a strong suck and would get tired out and wouldn't get to the hind milk. You name it, we had the problem. It really stressed me out. I wanted to breastfeed exclusively, and I felt a lot of pressure to hang in there. I was exhausted, crying, I felt like a failure. I was stressed every time a feeding came up. In the end, I nursed until I could and when she wouldn't take me anymore, I followed up with a bottle and I pumped if she wouldn't take me at all. I did that through her 7th month. I finally felt better when I let go of what I "should" and "shouldn't" do, and accepted the situation in front of me. Thank god for formula and alternatives. If we hadn't had them, I not sure how we would have made it, my girl was NOT gaining weight. So, the bright side is you DO have alternatives. If you're feeling crazy, and stressed, it's not doing either one of you any good.

if you want to stick in there, I'd say just keep getting in with a lactation consultant as often as possible. Maybe hire a baby nurse for a week so she's there at every feeding to get you latched until your lo gets the hang of it.

GOOD LUCK!!

You are doing a GREAT job, a lot of people would have given up already. Breastfeeding can be a breeze or can be very difficult- but it's WORTH IT. My first baby was a champion nurser, my second one was very difficult at first. It feels like forever when you are in the middle of it. Just know that it gets easier and easier- I've noticed with mine that 6 weeks always seems to be a milestone where things fall into a bit more of a routine as baby adjusts to life outside the womb.

It also helps to nurse in the same place, perhaps hum the same song, so your baby will learn to expect what's coming. Your baby is looking to you to figure out what's happening, and will respond better as he learns with some rhythm and ritual. Some babies/personalities really need this!

On a side note, when I was struggling most with nursing my midwives told me to have some pale ale- the hops in pale ale aid lactation/production and it will relax you a bit! Just half a bottle (6 oz) used to help me, dont' overdue it of course! Pale ale has the most hops so other kinds won't really work for this purpose.

Do not give up. I had the same problem. My baby lost weight for the first month of life. I ended up getting a pump and pumping between feedings or in the middle of the night just to make sure I had enough to give my baby. Have you tried pinching your nipple and putting it in his mouth? If you can get that lactation consultant again, do so. Otherwise, just try to feed your baby often so that he gets enough milk.

Keep trying--Lots of babies lose a little weight at first, and it is hard to tell how much he's getting without seeing those ounces, like you do with a bottle. I nursed 3 kids, and the first one was really rough -- I cried a lot, too, because it was really painful, until I realized that my son wasn't turning his lower lip down enough. Once I started turning his lip down with my finger, it got much better. I found breastfeeding more convenient, easier and cheaper than bottle feeding, and all the research keeps finding more and more benefits for babies: fewer ear infections, less obesity, better immune systems. Plus it creates a really special bond. But it can take time to get it right.
Having said all that, you're the only one who knows your own situation, so you have to do what's best for you. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty, whatever choice you make! Good Luck! It gets easier! (My 3 are now 7, 9 and 11)

I'll make this short for you, since you have a lot of long responses. My son did not get the hang of latching on either, and it would take me sometimes 1 hr to 1.5 hours to get him to latch on! But I just kept with it and eventually he got it (and now I can't get him off the breast ;) It took time - he was a good 2 months before he really had the hang of it.

Also, once he gets it, let him feed as much as he wants, since you are worried about his weight. Good luck!

I used to cry after and during breastfeeding :-)
it hurt, it was nerve-wrecking, baby cried... it is very hard... just hang on.. it will get better. don't give up yet. my son didn't have trouble latching on but he tortured my breast so bad that it was cracked and bleeding, I couldn't go on. what worked for me was pumping. I pumped for 3 months, ocasionally trying nursing again. i didn't give him any formula but didn't torture myself either. Pumping was such a relief! My son had enough milk and I had healing breasts! after 3 months, my son was able to latch on without killing my breast! he finally learned! and after that nursing was a breeze! i breastfed for 15 months. try pumping and nursing! your son will gain weight and will start learning to latch on. the only pump that works: medela dual action.
good luck, and don't give up!

I'm sure that others have suggested this but contact your local leche league group. They can be a huge support. Also, don't give up... it will get easier. My older son took six weeks to nurse properly. I cried and cried and pumped and bottle fed. He would only latch on with a nipple shield (he also got a late start due to being on oxygen at the hospital). I used the nipple shield but after four weeks began to offer him the breast without it. Eventually, when he was six weeks old, he began to nurse from the breast directly and after that everything went well. He nursed until he was two years old. Take heart, my second boy is now seven months. He latched on at the hospital and even nursed lying down when he was a few hours old. We have had a seamless nursing relationship. I expected to have difficulty again and didn't. Keep at it, see a consultant again if you need to (I know a great woman in the Bronx if you're nearby), seek support and have patience. Your son will nurse. You're doing the right thing.

I see you have already got a lot of replies - this is an emotive subject. I think it is great that you want to nurse your baby. I too wanted to nurse my daughter and I had similar problems to use. My daughter never learned to latch on correctly and I became very sore ( I couldn't even walk down the street without being in agony because my nipples were so raw). So I nursed for 4 months using a shield. However that didn't really work either as it is a less effective way of nursing and the baby has to work much harder to get the milk. My daughter was hungry ,and therefore cried, all the time because I refused to supplement with bottles as I, like you, had been told that it would all work itself out and if I used a bottle my milk supply would diminish. By the time she was 4 months old I was so stressed that I could barely hold myself together. My relationship with my husband and my daughter suffered as I put myself on such a guilt trip for not "being a good enough mother" I finally decided to stop nursing and bottle feed and my daughter became a different child, happy, contented, settled, and I became the mother I wanted to be, calm and confident.

Nursing is undoubtedly the healthiest option for your baby IF IT WORKS FOR YOU. I am convinced however that if you are stressed about it and feel it is not working, then your baby will feel that stress too. I really hope nursing works out for you - but don't make the same mistake that I did and let your preconceived ideas of how to be a good mom ruin your first times with your child. You won't get them back, and you won't want to look back like I do and remember them as a time of stress. If you feel nursing isn't working and that you have tried for long enough then give up and bottle feed with out feelings of guilt. You are a good mom for even trying.

By the way, I now have 3 children, and haven't successfully nursed any of them, although I have tried with them, and my mother in law has 8 children and she too didn't manage to nurse any of hers either, and she too tried each time. You are not alone!!

Hi K.,
When I breast fed, I did it exclusively and pumped milk at lunchtime when I went back to work. I found the more times each day the breasts are emptied, nature tells them they need to make more milk. I would recommend getting a pump and pumping milk between the feedings so your body builds up more milk. Drink plenty of fluids, eat protein and dairy also and you should be good to go in no time. I am ____@____.com and will be happy to help further.

Hang in there!!!!! I would go back to the lactation consultant or ask her to come to you. Contact your local Le Lache League leader. www.llli.org Sometimes it takes a little time. Plus since he had a bottle in the NICU he could be having problems with nipple confusion. A bottle is much easier for a baby to get milk out of then a breast. Just please don't give up. You're trying to give your little guy the best food possible, and when you finally succeed, you'll be greatful that you didn't give up. Good luck!!!

Relax! You're doing a great job, and there is no need to panic or worry. You've gotten some good advice from other moms, so just a couple things to add. It's possible that your son is reacting to your stress and that is why latching on is sometimes great and sometimes difficult. I struggled with my first for at least 2 weeks, and eventually found that if I consciously relaxed before nursing, it helped tremendously. I spent a few minutes praying and doing my getting-ready-for-labor relaxation exercises, but try whatever works for you.

Second, I went back to the hospital where I delivered for a few feeding times, and the nurses there helped me to get a good latch going. At the time I couldn't afford a lactation specialist. You could certainly get help from La Leche League, too. I found that just having experienced moral support was helpful. Blessings!

K.
My advice is to pump your milk and give him a bottle. I had to do that for five weeks b/c my little guy had difficulty nursing. W/in the five weeks I would try nursing him and if he didn't latch on he got a bottle and I pumped and then there were times he latched on great. I wanted to be able to nurse but when he didn't latch on and got a bottle I figured at least he's getting mommy's milk! If you stick w/ it like I did he will get the hang of it eventually. I know it can be stressful but try not to stress b/c it can affect your milk supply as well. Good Luck and I am willing to offer any more suggestions if needed.

My daughter would not latch on either-even with much coaching from experts, breast shields, and even running a tube into the breast shield to insure some easy access to milk to encourage her. We decided to offer her a diet of both formula and breast milk that was pumped. This way she was getting the essential nutrients and antibodies that she can only get from her mother, but using formula as well insured that she was not going to go hungry. Pumping took a lot of time-as did caring for my baby- so we only did this the first two months. But I feel good that I did all I could to give her some breast milk (even if we weren't able to offer breast milk exclusively.)

K.,

I have nursed 4 babies and am currently still nursing my 15 month old, and it was very hard at times. I have dealt with latching problems, engorgement, extreme pain (I am very fair skinned so it pretty much always hurts to nurse for the entire year), and most recently mastitis.

The most important thing is to make a committment to it and then never give up. It will be hard for some moms, but if you stick with it, it will get better. Don't bottle feed and don't give formula. You won't starve your baby. I don't know why your baby is having trouble latching on...some do because of flat or inverted nipples, some do because of extra large nipples (for the size of the newborn baby's mouth), and some do because mom gets engorged. Whatever the reason, keep working with the lactation consultant. They are wonderful. You will make it through this time! It does get better.

I had the same issues with my son latching on at first. I had to use the nipple shields for much longer than 5 days. Use them for a couple weeks if you have to. He has to learn how to latch on to those before he will be able to latch onto your breast without them. I would recommend seeing a lactation consultant again. Don't give up, many women do. I know getting started is the hardest part and no one tells you about that. All you hear is how good breastfeeding is for the baby, and how its supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. It was really hard at first. I wouldn't bother messing with an eye dropper or a spoon. Just keep at it every two hours. Good luck to you!!!

OH my gosh! I was in your shoes! Only my milk didn't come in for 10 days due to trauma (for me) at his birth. My son also had a tongue that was "tied". They snipped the part that was making it difficult for him to latch. Was he checked for that?

I used to put him on my breast and then use an eyedropper filled with formula to get him to "nurse" when in reality he was drinking formula. After the fourth week (he was then 4 weeks old) we both got the hang of it. It can be very frustrating.

Remember, you're both new at it. If you really feel strongly about breastfeeding, keep trying. It will pay off. I wanted to cry too. I thought I was starving my child and that I was a horrible mother. I'd give him a bottle of formula after I'd struggled to feed him for 45 min. and he'd suck it down. I was crushed.

Then one day, it just worked. I had won! Seriously, keep doing what you're doing. There's nothing wrong with giving him formula once in a while until you know he's satisfied. Many babies fall asleep while nursing - my son did - and that is a huge challenge to keep them awake long enough to get what they need. Don't give up.

A friend of mine spent every day for a week in the lactation consultant's office until her son nursed properly. It is so worth the battle. you're a great mom, trying to do the right thing for your baby. It will pay off. Try the eyedropper (they have them with long skinny tubes, so your son won't "realize" there's more than just your breast in his mouth) as it can get him to start sucking more thinking he's getting a lot from you. Good luck. I'm here if you need any more support. I was totally in your shoes and now my son is 14 months and still nurses once a day. It's the most amazing bonding time.

Dont give up!! Your baby is getting enough food! If he wasn't he would not have gained weight. Losing an ounce is nothing to be worried about. Try not to get upset about this. It will all work out. Good luck!

I had nursing issues in the beginning also. My baby is now 4 months old & I am succesfully nursing him. It is worth the hassal in the begining. Please be patient!

my advice is to stay with it. it's so important. Mt sister in law is a breast feeding specialist. she is wonderful. if you want i could give her your info. I had to pump and put the milk in a bottle that was attached to a tube; attached to my finger, then breast. It was tough. I had twins, but i stayed with it. good luck. J.

K., congratulations on your new baby boy! I myself had trouble nursing my first baby. I went through a lot of pain and scarring of my nipples, stress about the baby's weight loss, crying, visits with lactation consultants etc. I remember at one of the baby's weight checks the doctor gave him a bottle of formula and he chugged it! I cried so hard thinknig of how I was starving my poor baby!

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. You are doing a good job. My advice about nursing is to just keep at it if it is still something you want to do. As long as there is no medical defect like a tongue tied baby or a baby with no sucking reflext etc, the baby does eventually LEARN. It took about 8 weeks with both my son and my daughter before they got it down right and me too(yes there is a learning curve for the mom too)!

First, you have to unlatch them immediately if they do not do it right. It might take three or four or eight times of putting baby to breast which is difficult when you have a hungry screaming baby but BE FIRM about this. Do not let them nurse if they are biting or sucking instead of SUCKLING. When you feel them latch correctly you will naturally let your shoulders down and your milk will flow more easily and you will be more relaxed. Your son will learn to suckle correctly after repeated applications. It is just human nature. With my son I had to pull his jaw down every time. If he clamped down on me incorrectly I would stick my finger in the corner of his mouth and pry it open. He would get so mad. I would do this again and again at each feeding until both he and I got the latch right. But finally after almost 8 weeks he was latching on correctly!

I also learned that you have to be a little forceful and not so dainty. Of course, with my first I was so careful and the baby seemed so delicate. But you really need to force their jaws open so they do not bite down on you and you need to be forceful when using your pinky to pry their mouth open to unlatch them when they get it wrong. You have to cup your breast and flatten it a little to shape it into their mouth. You also have to be quick. Once their mouth opens wide you have to take your breast and rush it into their open mouth. What works best is if you press it on their bottom lip and then place the rest in while resting it on their bottom lip. After repeated successful latches the pattern will be established.

ALSO K., do not be afraid to supplement if necessary. I felt very defeated and like a failure when I had to supplement because I did not make enough milk (due to a medical condition). However, once I accepted the fact that my baby would still be healthy and happy and would always be my baby, that it was okay to supplement. What I would do was always give breast first until empty and then top the baby off with formula. If you are only using breastmilk then definitely pump so your supply does not go down. But once you introduce a bottle after each feeding they will learn the pattern. The baby will NOT reject your breast. But you need to be consistent, always give breast first. The baby will love the warmth and nuzzle of your boosom. Once it comes time for weaning it will be so much easier to do since baby will be used to bottle. This is how it happened for both my children. They became used to both breast and bottle and I could easily give one or the other with no fussing. I hope it works out for you as well.

Best of Luck.
Warm wishes,
R.

Hi K.,

Congratulations & good for you- you are doing great! It is rough when your baby doesn't learn to latch on right away. Definitely check out la leche league or see a lactation consultant- they will give you great advice & support. My son never opened his mouth wide enough when he was that small, so I had to open it for him. Try holding his mouth open as wide as possible while bringing him to your breast- this helps the baby latch on. If he doesn't get a good latch, stick your finger in the side of his mouth to break the suction and try again. You may also want to go back to using the breast shield for now if that helps.
Also, my son was (& still is) a lingering eater, and would take an hour to nurse, even if he did latch on, just because. If you are afraid that he is not getting enough and do not want to supplement, definitely try pumping & an eye dropper or spoon. You may even want to pump between feedings just to increase your body's milk production, as it may make it easier for your baby to nurse if there is a little more ease of let-down. My son would latch on, suckle a few times, and then wait for the let-down reflex to do all the work so all he had to do was swallow. After the milk stopped flowing, he would suckle & wait again.
I hope that this works out for you. Do not get discouraged, you and your baby can learn to do this! Good luck!

I was one of those people who only wanted to breastfeed my daughter. I did not understand the moms who did not. When my daughter was born she had a very hard time laching on and I am pretty sure the nurses gave her a bottle in the hospital behind my back. We took her home and she was loosing wait and starving. For a month I tried to breastfeed her. Every two hours I tried putting my daughter to my breasts then gave her a bottle and then pumped. The two of us were very stress out and I was not enjoying motherhood. My husband was giving me as much help as he could but convinved me to move over to formula and stop breastfeeding. Within 48 hours my daughter was the happiest thing in the world and I was able to relax and enjoy her. I had a lot of guilt in the begining but looking back it was the right decision for us. I am not telling you what to do but I am telling you my story. There can be alot of outside influences making you feel one way or the other but you should look at your heart and make the right decision for you. If you chose to fight through this and get your son to latch on I suport you. If you chose to put your son on formula I suport you too!
GOOD LUCK AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!

You might want to be mindful that breast feeding is tougher than bottle feeding. The baby has to work harder to suck from the breast. Thus, once they get with the lazy bottle method, they do not want to go back to the hard work.

Try to keep yourself as stress free as possible when it is time to breast feed. Breast feed him on a regular, but when he doesn't want it anymore, just stop, take a rest, until he is ready to try again. Do not worry about the baby's weight, right now, he will not starve himself to death or anything close to it.

My son is 6'9' and his first five months was mainly breast milk after he got use to it.

Have you looked into a breast feeding support group? I had a lot of difficulty with my fisrt child and had no support so I gave up quickly. My my son I was more prepared and had a lactation consultant set up to support me as well as a group I could go to at least once a week. It was very helpful to be around other mothers breastfeeding and being able to ask simple questions but also having help if needed. In the end I had to give up breastfeeding due to physical problems with me not my son. I think we both ended being happier but I still wished I could have made breastfeeding work for us.

Do whatever is best for you and your son. Good luck.

Oh I feel your pain! I had trouble w/ both my sons. With my first son, he was a 'dinner w' friends' eater, he would latch on, drop off to sleep etc. I pumped 7x/day and finger fed or SNS fed for 3-1/2 months. *Every* ounce was a battle and it took FOREVER for him to double his birth weight and even gain back his initial weight loss. After 3-1/2 months, I found a different lactation consultant and I urge you to do the same. It never occurred to me that there were different suggestions...I needed a totally different latch, an asymmetric one. I also suggest contacting La Leche to get some support. W/ my second son, I supplemented w/ Earths Best Organic Formula and initially I did it w/ a eye dropper. If possible get some more help and support. Try and reach out, you will find surprising people struggled w/ breastfeeding, it's NOT easy, it's NOT something you pick up right away. GOOD LUCK!!

First of all, you are not alone. You can see how many people have gone through similar things. Nursing made me cry a ton also because I just felt like it was something I SHOULD be able to do and it was the main thing I could give my child and he needed . . . so why couldn't we get it right? I thought we were such a failure. It wasn't until 6 weeks that I found out that trouble with breastfeeding is the norm among all my friends, not the exception. Some specific suggestions:

1. Get back to that lactation consultant and get some more hands-on help. Don't worry about the cost, I promise you'll pay more in formula if you have to go that route. She'll help you keep working on that latch. Be pushy with your l.c. if you need to be - make sure she understands exactly what your problem is and that it is URGENT. DON'T LEAVE UNTIL YOU FEEL MORE CONFIDENT WITH THAT LATCH.

2. Talk to her about a Supplemental Nursing System (SNS). That's the thing where you nurse and give a little formula in a bottle around your neck, through a tube, simultaneously. MAKE SURE YOUR LC USES IT WITH YOU UNTIL YOU GET THE HANG OF IT. I was never able to be coordinated enough with, but it does sound like it might be the perfect solution to your problem.

3. I did not have a baby in NICU, but I don't think 1 oz in two weeks sounds bad at all. They have standards for these things - certain % weight loss is a problem, but otherwise don't fret about it. I don't want to be the one to say this definitively, but it does not sound to me at all like you are starving him. Another good thing to talk to your LC about.

4. The feeling like you're constantly feeding for only a little bit of milk is totally normal and will eventually get better, I promise. This was the hardest part for me. Feeling like I was going to be doing nothing but breastfeeding and pumping all day, with no end in sight. But the truth is, one way or another, you will settle into a routine after a while and you'll get (a small) part of your life back.

5. This is your best window of opportunity though, so just think of this as your full time job for a few weeks - pumping to keep your supply up and working on the latch to get him nursing better and that's IT. ASK FOR HELP. Don't be shy - ask people you normally wouldn't dream of, if Dad is back at work or not in the picture. ASK FAMILY, FRIENDS, NEIGHBORS. Babies used to be raised by a community, the way we do it now is not normal. I didn't ask for enough help and then felt like I couldn't handle simple things, like making my own lunch and also pumping and breastfeeding - so I dropped a pumping or didn't eat and now I wish I had listened to people when they said to do nothing but nurse and pump and sleep and eat. Literally, feel OK with asking people to get you a glass of water if you need it.

6. Eat and drink a lot. More than you think you want to. You need it to build your milk supply.

7. Foods that support milk production: fenugreek and fennel tea (or any of those nursing mom teas you see around); oatmeal; quinoa; dark beer (it's OK, you can have one a day for sure). AGAIN, ASK SOMEONE'S HELP IN MAKING ALL THIS, BUYING IT, ETC.

8. Whatever is the outcome - NO GUILT. YOU ARE A FABULOUS MOTHER. Only you can make the right decisions for your baby and you are doing a great job. Every drop of breast milk you've given him until now has been a true gift and you should be really proud of yourself for it. If it doesn't work out, make sure you remember this. You have given your baby so much already and you are going to be giving him so much for your whole life. Work from a place of strength, not fear. Focus on every drop he gets, not on the ones he doesn't.

9. Know that however this settles out - there is a wide spectrum of how people breastfeed. Exculsively pumping, breastfeeding and supplementing, you name it. I am at four months and I have been through every breastfeeding scenario you can name. We finally settled into a routine where my son nurses only at night, we feed formula and a little pumped milk during the day. Mostly, he gets formula. This does not sound like where you will end up - you are doing much better than I was at 2 weeks (GOOD FOR YOU!). I'm telling you this just so you realize every little bit of breast milk is helpful and you are doing great and don't be afraid - THINK POSITIVE.

I had so much trouble with my daughter and latching on. I used the shield and she was much better with it. Every time I tried to take it away she went crazy and I just couldn't take it. Like you, I was crying, she was crying, it took us a very long time to nurse and I was exhausted.

Our solution was to just keep on using the shield. I felt so guilty and bad about it at first because I thought it was wrong in some way. The truth is that you have to do what works for you. My little girl is four months now and we use the shield every time we nurse. She gets one bottle a day (from dad) because she gets the vitamin D drops; and to get her ready to start daycare in a few weeks.

If it were not for the shield I would have stopped nursing her and been on formula after only two weeks. There is nothing wrong with doing whatever works for you. I am so happy my baby is on breast milk exclusively, I just have to use the shield. We got one from the lactation consultant and bought an extra one, the full contact one, and she loves it.

Don't feel bad about using whatever works for your baby. A shield, a bottle with your expressed breast milk, whatever. You are not less of a mom just because your baby won't latch. You are not doing anything wrong. Sometimes it just doesn't work. You would be making a mistake if you would deny your child a tool that works just because you have it in your mind that there is a "right" way to nurse. Don't force him, just do what works. You will both be better off. Good luck!

I remember wanting my son to get all the benefits of breastfeeding, but after 3 weeks he needed much more milk than I could produce. The lacatation expert told me just to keep nursing and more milk would come in, well it didn't, and I ended up with a baby screaming for 5 hours until I had my husband give him formula, at 3 weeks he sucked down 6 oz and kept it down! From that moment on I supplemented breast with bottle and pumped in between to keep up my milk. Not all babies latch well, what's important is making sure your baby is fed. Sometimes our original visions of parenthood change as we adapt to our children's needs - and that's OK. Your stress also equates to stress for your baby which can make things even harder. My cousin never gave her daughter a bottle. When she had to go away when her dtr was 6 mo, the baby refused to eat all day since she was able to adapt to anything else besides the breast. It was a terrible day for everyone and from that moment on, my cousin learned that adaptability is important, just as much as a schedule is. There can always be flexibility in a schedule. As a parent you may need to compromise your original thoughts of feeding, based upon your child's needs - and that IS doing the best for your baby. Don't be disappointed in yourself! Do what is in your heart and is the least stress for you and baby. Good Luck!

hey there...don't give up yet! Have you consulted with Dr. Tina Smillie? She's a pedatrician whose has a practice in Stratford soley dealing with breastfeeding....it's called Breastfeeding Resources, her whole staff is awesome and their number is ###-###-####.....it took my son awhile to get the hang of it too and we had a beautiful 18 month breastfeeding relationship, in great part to the support and education of her practice. Gook Luck! D.

Hello K.,

I was very dissapointed when my little guy would not take to the breast. He had not eaten for four days and was getting jaundice. At his checkup the doctor said to feed him, so I expressed and gave him a bottle. He got better without the need for hospitalization and gained weight. The doctor told me at his one week visit that if I wanted to breastfeed to do it now before he "forgets" how to do it, but it would be 2 days of heartache for everyone while he adjusts. Well since he had just gotten better, I chose not to force him to breast thinking his health was more important. After a while I felt cheated out of the breastfeeding experience.

My little guy is now 2 days way from being 4 months old. Guess what? He has proved the doctor wrong, he has been on breast a few times for me this week. I think if I keep offering him a breast, after I pump so the milk is flowing, and when he is not too hungry [he is very impatient when it comes to his food] we will contiune to have breastfeeding moments.

I hope this helps.

It can be so hard in the beginning-2 weeks is still very "new" to breastfeeding. I always say after 2 months you will both get the hang of it. I breastfed my first for 13 months and currently breasfeeding my 7 month old. I think the best advice is to just keep at it! I know it seems totally overwhelming, but he will get the hang of it eventually! Is he crying while trying to latch on or is he falling asleep? And eating for 10 minutes might not be so bad-both me kids by 2 weeks were eating for less that that-If you have a lot of milk and a strong flow-then he may not need more time? Also, maybe try to feed him more often for now to get his weight up. I know this probably seems overwhelming now, but he will get it! Also, I highly recommend finding a Lactation consultant outside of the hospital-they are usually more seasoned than one who is still learning in the hospital. Hang in there! I had 2 months of pure hell with my first, but then it all just clicked and then was such a great experience. Good luck!

I see you have gotten many resposes but I identify and want to share my experience to encourage you further. My daughter was born seven weeks early (she is now 3 months old) and she actually fed surprisingly well from a bottle for a premie. I started offering her the breast after she was a few days old and she had limited success with latching on. She spent 2 weeks in the NICU and started trying to breastfeed her exclusively when I visited though she was being bottle fed formula and expressed milk when I wasn't there. The nurses would sometimes act suspicious that she wasn't getting enough volume, but I longed to be a breastfeeding mother! When we took her home I dealt with the same emotions you have mentioned. My daughter would be so upset when she got hungry that she couldn't latch on. I didn't know about breast shields and never spoke with a lactation consultant surprisingly. What I ended up doing was feeding her an ounce or so by bottle then switching to the breast. First of all, she was more calm and less hungry. Also, it seemed to help her to practice on the bottle nipple that would stay more firm and rigid. (I guess that is the purpose of breast shields?) When she would go to the breast she was more coordinated. Now, that meant I still had to pump to have breastmilk for the bottle and I was overwhelmed trying to keep up with all those steps. But I got familiar with it, had a rhythm soon, and in about 3 to 4 weeks she stopped needing that bottle nipple to practice on! I had started to just put her on the breast out of fatigue and desperation to meet her need quicker. And it eventually worked! Now the time that she spent going from bottle to breast makes her very versatile with her feeding. And that is a necessary quality as she has ended up having to take a daily medication in a bottle. She can thankfully switch from one to other. But now she will also refuse a bottle when she wants the close comfort of the breast.

I really hope you are encouraged to be patient. It is worth giving it some more time. However, take care of yourself too, and if you give up on breastfeeding, it will surely be to provide your best self for your child.

You will not be a "bad mom" if you bottle feed. Your child's health and growth is more important than how you feel about yourself.

First of all, you're doing a great job sticking with it, Mama! Be patient with yourself & with your son. Some babies latch-on when you first take them into your arms, & others figure it out over the first few weeks or even months. Babies on both ends of this spectrum can thrive on mommy's milk. Based on my own experience with a fussy nurser, I have this to offer: - First, wash your hands then check the inside of his mouth (lips, under tongue, inner cheek, etc) to be sure he does not have any irritation that could be making nursing uncomfortable for him. - Next, always try to get comfortable before nursing...climb into bed for a rest, snuggle or put some music on in the background so you can enjoy the extra time you will pass together...with a new baby, you need ALL the down-time you can get! It's important NOT to feel as though you are "waiting" for him to finish or worrying about how much milk he gets...just relax your mind. Talk baby talk to him, interact, make eye contact...all of these things will nurture him in addition to the milk he receives. - Drink LOTS of water or (caffine-free) tea while you nurse & between nursings. - Finally, after nursing & after burping, rub his little tummy in click-wise circles to aid digestion. This also leaves him feeling blissfully satisfied & ready to drift off to his sweet baby dreams. My son was a challenge to nurse also, he was fussy and turned away every couple of minutes so it took him 35-50 minutes to complete a feeding; kicking, squirming & breaking-away then having to latch on again 6-12 times per sitting! He also spit-up half of EVERY meal, so he was hungry & needing to nurse again just 1-2 hours later...this went on for the first 4-5 months. The way I was able to cope was to let him sleep in my bed and nurse on demand (i.e. constantly!) knowing that time together now is more important in the big picture than the laundry that didn't get washed, or dishes, etc... Hopefully you have a family member to help you thru this so you can focus most of your time on Baby & You.
·:*¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*:·Blessings to you, Mama! ·:*¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*:·

For some it is the hardest thing to get through is the first 4 weeks. I know it seems like it will never happen but if you persevere it will! I suggest if he only nurses for a short time. Just try and feed him more often. My first loved to fall asleep about 5 minutes in. Stroking his cheek or tapping the bottoms of his feet used to helped keep him focused. I know positioning is really hard in the beginning as you feel like your all thumbs but for (sorry a bit graphic) it helped to hold my breast like bottle and really jiggle it in his mouth. It feels like your going to choke them but you won't as long as you are not covering his nasal passage. Really getting it down in there, and get as much of the areola in there as you can.

HTH Best of luck, you are not alone this can be really really hard and discouraging but YOU CAN DO IT!!!:)

K.,

I had major difficulty nursing with both of my children, but was able to successfully with both. I'm not sure where you live, but the specialist in the state of connecticut is Dr. Tina Smillie, at breastfeeding resources in stratford. I work primarily with her Nurse Practitioner, Robin, but they were able to help my children learn to nurse correctly.

Try not to get to discouraged and I know that it is very hard not to. I was not able to breastfeed right away with my son, he was two months early. He went through numerous ways of feedings. At first he was tube fed breastmilk and they alternated with a bottle as well which was discouraging because I thought for sure that he was going to take a bottle and that he wouldn't nurse. When he was about three weeks older we tried nursing and we were not that successful but I was determined. When I returned to my local hospital from the NICU I also worked with a lactation consultant. I would try to nurse, then a bottle to make sure he was getting enough and then I would pump and like you said it was such a long process. We also did a finger feed. Where you introduced to that? It may help. After about five weeks my son was starting to catch on with the nursing but he was also familiar with the bottle as well so it wasn't difficult when I went back to work. He did well with the bottle and nursing. Stay persistant and he should catch on. It is such and emotional rollercoaster the first few weeks. Try not to be so worried easier said than done and maybe try a bottle the worse case senerio would be that you would not be able to nurse but you could pump and bottle feed and that would be just as healthy. I hope that this helped. Good Luck!

I went through a similar ordeal with my son; although, he was premature. He was unable to nurse at first because of his prematurity, so I pumped breast milk and it was fed to him to a tube in his nose. When we started the actual breast feeding, he would exhert himself so much trying to latch on that he would feed for only a few minutes. I was driving myeslf insane over it, as well. I wanted so badly for it to work out. At some point, I realized that it would be better for him to take to the bottle and be satisfied than expend so many calories TRYING to eat. Honestly, it made life so much easier for all of us. I felt guilty for a while, but when he was happier and I had one less thing to worry about, it was nice. I hope it works out for you, but if not, just be content in the fact your son is healthy, happy, and you won't have to cry after anymore feedings from frustration. :)

I had an awful time too. I lasted two weeks of exclusive breastfeeding, then pumped and had to supplement with formula (because my big fat baby ate faster than I could keep up with pumping!!) My baby had the same exact problem with latching on and I was in so much pain and so frustrated and used to cry SO MUCH that I finally decided I needed our feedings to be more pleasant... so I went to bottles. At the time I was so depressed about it - I wanted to breastfeed more than anything and it broke my heart that it wasn't working. I had the consultant - everything! My advice to you is to do what you need to do to enjoy feeding your baby, and if you feel like it's time to call it quits DON'T FEEL GUILTY. Women are so h*** o* themselves... you've given your baby an incredible gift already - you can't fail!

My baby was also in NICU for the first few days, and my breastfeeding situation ended up being very similar to yours. I also tried the supplemental nursing system (you have a dropper of formula with a tube attached that you put into baby's mouth as you start to nurse that helps him get latched on), nipple shield, and a hospital grade pump for filling bottles. I also met with the lactation consultant at the hospital and had a doula and another breastfeeding mom come to my home to observe and give advice. Even with all of that, he still struggled and cried hysterically while trying to get him to feed and even once latched on, would only nurse for a few minutes. The shield was the only thing that helped a little with nursing that I could do by myself. If that was working for you, I would say to continue to use it and try going without it when he's a little bigger and has a better hang of feeding. Also the Medela milk storage system has bottles where the cap doubles as a cup-that worked better for us than a spoon. At the hospital, we used an empty plastic medicine cup.

Besides that, if you feel guilty and are crying and he is crying everytime you feed and you feel like you've done everything you can, it's not going to traumatize your baby to switch to formula. After 2 months of trying 10-12 times a day, I finally gave up myself. My poor little boy (who actually wasn't little-11.1 lbs at birth) had been screaming for hours gobbled down formula like we'd been starving him! Now at 5 months, he's in the top percentiles for his age and eats anywhere between 9-12 oz four times a day. I'm not saying that switching is what you should do-I'm just saying that you should give yourself that permission if trying all the time seems to be making you and the baby miserable and you think he's still hungry.

Having the first feeding experiences in my child's life be from a bottle (in NICU) was not my choice, but it was what happened, and I will say that it certainly made a huge difference in being able to breastfeed successfully. Some things you can't control. I think it's better to have a content baby with a full tummy of formula and a momma with less stress and guilt then a baby crying because he can't get the breastmilk and a mom who feels bad about the experience and herself because of it.

Whether or not you continue to breastfeed is a personal choice. Only you can decide what's right for you. I certainly wish you the best, either way.

Awww! Honey, you two will find your way with each other and be just fine! I know it's so hard right now learning to nurse and you are going thru so much just trying to adjust. I had the same thing, but little razor gums grinding back and forth causing blisters and bleeding, sore, raw, cracked nipples. (Smoothies nursing pads rock!) Also... I didn't know how long to nurse and would have him on for 20 to 30 minutes making matters worse. Turns out he was a 3 minute nurser and got it all in a quick time... but other friends took 30 minutes. Each little one is different. So glad to hear you found a lactation consultant- that was the ONLY way we got thru it! She was our birthing doula and she was amazing and helped us find our comfort zone, position and helped me so much. I would cry from sheer pain. What really got me thru was my resolve that not nursing wasn't an option. I was going to nurse no matter what! Soon after hurricane Katrina happened in New Orleans and I would watch the news coverage and wonder and cringe for all the formula fed babies, and then I'd think about all the nursing mamas and how easy those babies had it, both for sustenance and comfort. There is nothing like the comfort that a child receives from that mamas milk! I just finished nursing after 3 years and my little one has to learn to find a different type of attitude adjustment that a quick nurse would cure. It's not only comfort, it's like a wave of yummy goodness and nice feelings that comes over them from our milk. Going back to the beginning... my midwife (who was also a tremendous help) told me about when the new baby gets a good milk meal that they get "milk drunk" after they feed. We used to giggle at our little guy whos tight, tensed arms and legs would release and he would go limp after nursing. You'll see! You are doing everything right with your will to nurse and your determination. Just keep with it, forget about the dropper, don't listen to the weight worry, snuggle up in bed, drink nursing tea, or lots of juices and water, ask for help with the dishes, laundry and cooking, and take time out to recover and get to know your precious bundle. It may help to swaddle? just to calm the baby and make a convenient package for you to get the right position. Trust your own mama's intuition, the millions of years behind us and realize you're the superwoman you are and that you two will get it right with a little practice. And meet again with the lactation consultant... it took me a couple of sessions... and get in touch with your local La Leche League- they have a great book out that explains so much! Snuggle in and watch your baby change... in 10 days you wont even recognize the difference b/c of how fast he'll grow! Lots of love, R.

i had trouble breastfeeding my son too when he was born. initially i pumped milk and fed him with a dropper. and then i used a silicon nipple (perhaps what you call the breast shield) for a while. that really worked wonders for me. i didn't stress about getting him off of that--i would try about once / day on my nipple and one day he just got it. it took me about 8 weeks to get the hang of nursing but if you want to stick with it, then you'll be able to. don't worry about him latching on--eventually he will. i know that it is difficult, believe me, but just try to be as patient as possible ane eventually the two of you will get the hang of it!

There is a way of feeding the baby (you should ask the lactation consultant about this) which gives both breast and formula at the same time. You wear a bottle around your neck with the formula in it and a very tiny tube gets taped to your breast, When the baby sucks on your breast, he gets both breast milk and formula at the same time. It makes it easier for him since he doesnt have to suck as hard. This in turn will make him want to suck more. My daughter was 5 lbs 12 oz at birth and lost about 6 oz by her first visit to the dr. We only needed this for about a week or so and then she caught on and nursed well for the next six months until I went back to work and had to stop nursing. Good luck.

G.

Hi K..

You are doing an awesome job! I know how stressful it is to go through this production when breastfeeding is supposed to be so natural and simple. I think everyone has given you great advice. I would like to add that if the baby is successfully latching WITH the shields, maybe you should keep using them for a while. If this simplifies the process and makes it easier for him to get an appropriate amount of milk and fully empty your breast than keep it up. In a couple of weeks, this chaotic stage will have passed and he should develop the muscle strength and coordination to be able to effectively empty your breast without the shields.

Even in the best of situations it takes time to establish a breastfeeding routine and feel confident that it is going well. With my first it was effortless, my second took a month to surpass his birth weight, my third took to it quickly but gained slowly. In the end, all three did spectacularly well and I am so glad I made the commitment.

Keep up the great work!

K. don't give up...Your son gained a substantial amount of weight the first visit. An ounce is not bad. My daughter who is 10 months now I am still nursing her. In the beginning she too went to the NICU and I learned they gave her some formula which I was a little nervous that would be all she would want. Breastfeeding is defiantely a job and one that you are going to have to love. I know from my experience with my child if I was upset, nervous, or anxious she would get that vibe off of me and I would make her feel the same way. Just relax and know that you are of the many few who are in fact trying to nurse and your hard work and dedication and I must add perserverence has and will pay off in the end. Keep up the good work!

What you should do is nurse him as long as you can keep him nursing. Then when he's done, pump out all of the hindmilk he missed and give that to him. This way he's still nursing, getting practice and getting better, while at the same time getting that rich fatty hindmilk with all the calories, so it will keep his weight in check. The nurse is right, to use a dropper...this way he wont get nipple confusion and will still get the hang of nursing. Just always breastfeed from the breast first. Dont do every other feeding. Breast first, then the hindmilk from a dropper. He WILL get the hang of it...don't despair. The first weeks are tough. Neither of you have done this before and you both need some time to figure it out. Breastfeeding can and will work for you. You just have to work a little harder for now to make sure he gets the hang of it. Before you know it, it will be a breeze for both of you and it won't take so much extra work. Please, please message me anytime you have a question or arent sure about something. I am a trained breastfeeding counselor and am glad to help! Hang in there Momma, you're doing great!

I have a two month old that I was up crying after every feeding also. I also had to do the syringe thing. My son went from 8lbs 8oz to 7lbs 9oz. and now he's in the 75%.

One of my suggestions to you would be to have two pumps on hand. It gets hard w/the limited amount of sleep to have to wash the pump after every feeding, having to wait till both are dirty helped.

Also, what worked for me was to feed no longer than 10-15 min on each side. Then give him the syringe. I noticed the longer if I tried to nurse for more than that, it frustrated me.

Just don't give up, it takes a little work and patience. It was right around the two weeks mark that it finally starting working great.

Hang in there! My son had a terrible time latching, and I finally figured out it wasn't for lack of technique; he just couldn't open his jaw wide enough. I brought him to a chiropractor who specialized in babies and mamas. After two 'adjustments' (which on newborns is so gentle it hardly looked like she was doing anything) he latched like a champ and it was smooth sailing from there. I'm not saying this is what your son needs, but it took me quieting down just long enough for my motherly intuition to speak up. Don't give your power to the 'experts'--you are the expert when it comes to you and your son. You just need to trust that instinct.

Good luck!

im so sorry. i have no advice but just want you to know you are doing the best you can, dont stress out so much. i would def get more help from the lactation consultant, maybe contact la lech league and maybe someone there could help you on a more ongoing basis.
i would think something must be going right for sometimes him to latch on for the 15-20 minutes. does he seem hungry after the 10 min feeding?
just get some help right away from LLL. i can tell you some nurses at the hospital actually preferred babies to be bottlefed. not everyone in the medical field will be as supportive. dont give up, but also dont let this become too much of a burden. you could still pump, or use formula and you will still be a great mom, but hopefully, with a little time, he will get it. good luck.

First thing, you are doing FANTASTIC. It's not your fault and you are doing everything you can do.

Call your local lactation counsultant from the hosp. you delievered right away. Go on www.lalecheleague.com and request email help. You can post a question to your local LLL support person and they will get back to you within a few hours.

Please have your doctor check if your LO is tounge tied. BOTH mine were and I had a HELL OF A TIME getting them to latch. No one caught it with my first one and between that and his food allergies, I gave up and always regretted it.

The 2nd was also tounge tied and no one caught it at the hosp. either. Same issues with latching, etc. The pede found he was tounge tied. She snipped him right in the pede office (I almost DIED right there...but the baby didn't even cry!!!! There wasn't even any blood. I couldn't believe it!!!) The second she clipped him, he was latching like a champ.

There are many things no one tells you about BFing. Like, at 3 weeks, they go thru a growth spurt and don't get off your boob for what seems like FOREVER. (usually for us it was eating for 15-20 min. every 1/2 hour for 4 hours) Talk about wanting to rip your hair out. The do this at 3 w., 6 w., 9w., 12 w., and so on.

The MOST helpful advice that I got was to set goals and NOT TO QUIT until I reached that goal. Let's face it, when you are struggling like this, you aren't in your right mind. It's a fight or flight response!

My FIRST goal was 1 month. I promised myself that I wouldn't quit till then. When I got to 1 mon. I saw improvement, so I upped it to 3 motnhs. At 3 motnhs, I reevaluated. It was getting even easier. So I set a goal of 6 months. By then, it was like 2nd nature and I couldn't believe how miserable I once was in the beginning compared to the 6 mo. mark. It was like a whole new me.

Hang in and feel free to email me with questions. I will be happy to help!! :)

Jenn

You have my sympathy. I would look for a La Leche League group for some support and set up a couple of meetings with a private lactation consultant until you are sure you have the issues ironed out. Good Luck.

i also had some trouble in the beginning. my daughter latched on right after birth, but since i came down with a fever during the delivery, she was taken into the nicu for monitoring. after the initial latch on she only liked one side and that was difficult to get her to latch on. the hospital gave me a guard but that also did not work. she soon started to feed with the guard but feedings still took about an hour to an hour and a half. so here are some of my suggestions: first, i know that it is hard but you need to relax and be confident that you can do this!! there will be no milk for him if you dont. breastfeeding is mostly a confidece game.if you believe you can do this you will. second- you have to make sure that you do not give up at each feedings- for example- if he eats for 10 minutes and then stops and you give up the amount of milk he ttok in at that feeding will be the amount that you produce for the next feeding. so getting him to eat enough will insure there will be enough milk for him at the next feeding.you do not want to decrease your feedings because he will start to loose weight and you will not produce enough.if so pumping will keep your supply going. thirdly, make sure that you keep up with the feedings. if you give up or wait to long in between feedings your milk supply will also decrease.lastly, persistance will pay off. keep trying. i know that it is difficult and discouraging. but he senses your emotions. if you are stressed he is stressed. try a quite place with some relaxing music and a large glass of water(make sure you drink a lot of all day) and try your best to relax and be persistant. it may take a while but it should work out for the best. when he gets to upset while feeding you will need to calm him down before trying again. there is no way he will latch on if he is upset. if you start feedings with droppers or spoons it will just make it harder to breastfeed in the end. the more practive for the both of you the better. also if you use a sheild he will ge used to the sheild. i used it and then it was hell getting her off of it.The sheilds will also decrease your milk supply. doing different things like shields and spoons and droppers will only confuse him. he will not have a consistant way of getting his food so stay with one way. my daughter is now six months old and loves breastfeeding just as much as i do. best of luck. if i think of anything else i will write you back. xoxo

Hang in there!!! I also had a hard time with my first baby. It took my husband and I both at every feeding to get her to latch on. Ask for help from your partner. This way you can hold your breast and get your son to open his mouth, while your partner can push and hold the baby to your breast. The lactation consultant showed us how to do this. I thought it looked horrible and mean to the baby, but after a few days of this, she soon learned how to latch every time. She would never take a bottle...she would rather starve, so we cup fed her. We used a little cup (like you get with tylenol, or other medicine) and she lapped up the milk like a kitten. The nurses at the hospital showed us this trick. This way you don't have to go back to a bottle! Don't stress!! He knows you are stressed and it will affect your milk supply! You are doing great! Keep it up!

i used the breast shield for three months & it made nursing a breeze! my son eventually weaned himself from it & once he was off of the shield he was a pro. it'd say stick to that until all is normal & then wean him from that slowly.

Stick with it! Could there be a medical issue that is getting in the way of his latch? (i.e. tongue tie) If not he just needs lots of practice. I cried every day for over two weeks while my son and I struggled to "get it." What helped the most is when my calm husband would sit behind me and let me lean back against his chest (sometimes he'd hum so his chest vibrated, the sound and sensation soothing all of us) so I could cry while the baby fought and struggled, but I felt like we were both getting the love and encouragement we needed. Get support and encouragement every way you can - that will make all the difference. It's hard, it's frustrating, but he will learn.

K.-

Hang in there.....I'm not going to lie, the first 3 months are hell! I was in a similar situation, in which my son was in the nicu. They gave him a bottle supplement and we got off to a very rough start. My son also had weight gain issues during the first 2-3 months, but I didn't supplement as the doctor suggested. My son is now 20 months and we are still nursing, it has been an amazing experience, don't give up! Don't worry about feeling as if you are starving your son, our bodies are amazing and WILL produce what the baby needs as long as you allow they to latch when they want. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the draining hour long feedings followed by tears are temporary. Before you know it you will both get the hang of it, the baby will become very efficient with time. FYI- my son has been 80% height and weight since 7 or 8 months old, they will gain!
Your experience and frustrations are completely normal, that is why most moms give up by 3 months! If you want it to work it will!
M.

K.,
I had a similar problem with my little guy. He had problems latching on. It took him a few days he eventually got latched on but, I was not producing enough milk so I had to supplement with formula. I breastfed him for 6 months with supplementing formula. Like you I wanted to breastfeed only. My son's ped. says boys are lazy, they like to take the easy path. The problem may be that he was originally bottle fed and has found that he likes the easier route. Don't give up I didn't, I just gave a little.:) We sometimes have to compromise, but keep trying he may just need a little time.I know it can be "very Frustrating", so maybe Something else that may help you is meditation. When you get ready to feed him, make yourself relax, think of pleasant things, free your mind of the task at hand. You may be so tense that he is picking up on that, so try not to try so hard, as the saying goes:).
Good Luck, Hope this helps.

Hi K., Please calm down and relax about breast feeding. Your baby can sense your stress and it may be affecting him breast feeding. Do your best to breast feed, but remember it is not the end all of everything. If the breast feeding ends up not working out and you must use a bottle THATS OK. My baby is one year old now, I breast feed and formula fed for three weeks, then went to formula only. He is the healthiest, strongest baby ever. He walked at 10 months, can wave bye bye, does How Big and is so smart. People often think that he is 18 months, but he is only 12 months. So my point is, if the breast feeding does not work out you baby will be fine with a bottle and formula. It does not mean that you are a bad mother or are doing wrong by your baby. Our society makes new mothers feel like outcasts if they can't or choose not to breast feed. It's ridiculous. Yes breast feeding is good for the baby, but so is formula. Society has taken what should be a health issue and turned it into a moral and ethical issue. So, stop stressing about breast feeding, it should be a joyful experience for both you and your baby, but you are making yourself so crazy that neither of you can enjoy it. Keep trying and do your best, and if it does not work out, don't worry, your baby is and alway will be perfect (and very lucky to have such a caring and loving mommy).

I feel your pain. I am the mom of 3 boys and nursed all of them. My last one is now 5 months old and he gave me such a problem with latching and nursing - just like your son. I finally contacted a local laleche woman who gave me great advise. Now I will admitt that this sounds strange and was difficult to do with other little ones but it paid off and I have not had any problems with him nursing since. Her advise was to strip the baby down to only a diaper and yourself down from the waist up. Lay the baby in between your breasts and keep him there for 24-48 hours. You can use a carrier as long as it has him on your skin, do not use a bjorn like carrier. Be sure that you attempt to latch him on every 2-3 hours. If he does not latch within 5 minutes do not keep forcing him, it will only frustrate you and him (believe me I spent most of our begining time nursing in tears). The most important thing is that he eats so try using the dropper or spoon if you do not want to use a bottle. Stay with him through the night like this and he will eventually learn to latch on by being close to you and having your breats near him. It sounds strange and it is not easy to have a baby attached to you for 24-48 hours but it worked great. My son only took about 20 hours and then we never had issues again. Now he is a great nurser and our time together is wonderful! If you have questions I would contact a laleche expert for help. Good luck!

Okay sweetie, you are not starving him! Breastfeeding is not easy and he will get the hang of it....he sounds like a small baby, was he early? If he was that could be a part of your issues....I have 5 little boys(nursed them all) and some got it quicker than others and my 3 that were early(by a week or so) caught on after about a week or 2...Try to take a deep breath and get comfortable before you need to nurse(and think about it, you've got nowhere to be you just had a baby)if it's in your bed or on the couch....soft relaxing light....the most important thing to remember is that if you are stressed and anxious, your baby will feel it and be too... it is so worth nursing if you can but keep this in mind it's not the end of the world if you don't...lots of people either can't or don't due to a number of reasons and all the babies are fine...the best thing you can do for your baby is love him and care for him...if you accept this you may actually have an easier time (stress wise) and remember not everything will go as planned...motherhood is a great teacher of this ...keep trying, it's not easy ay first but he will get the hang of it and if he doesn't his health is the most important and you can pump and there are lots of great formulas out there....best of luck!