Hi there-
My two year old has been a good eater since the beginning and I really have never worried about it. She eats very healthy and is of average weight and build. My concern recently is that instead of sitting down to eat (which we do every meal), she would rather just have small snacks throughout the day. I just worry not so much about what she eats because I know it is good food, but how she eats. For instances, I could not get her to sit down and eat breakfast today, but she ate a 1/4 cup of cherrios, a tablespoon of raisins, a cheese stick, a whole banana and 12 grapes and milk. Usually breakfast is her biggest meal. Lunch is hit or miss. She has a snack after nap. Dinner is usually two bites. But before bed, she wants another banana or something else to eat. We have treats occassionally, but not very often. And treats are usually something like yogurt or fig newtons. We recently have gone from the high chair/booster to sitting at the table too. So, I am sure this is probably pretty typical for the age, but I just need so reassurance from other moms who might be experiencing the same thing. I know that some kids are snackers and some are sit down and eat kids. Both my husband and I were raised sit down and eat kids and we actively promote this, but not sure what/where we have gone wrong. Thanks for your help.
My daughter does the same thing. And to my benefit I have lost weight because I snack with her. But I feel that we need to get control over eating at mealtimes also. Like you not for health reasons, but for better table manners when we are in public.
Thanks for drumming up the advice!
A.,
You are correct; the hopping up from the table and small snacks are extremely typical for this age. You didn't go wrong anywhere, chances are that you might have gone through this at toddlerhood. (Or were still strapped into a high chair!)
Toddlerhood is a very fun, vital and active developmental process. Often, when hunger isn't calling loudly, children want to go play instead. They are exploring their world with a passion! Esp. if we discourage handling/exploring their food, they would rather get down. "Get Down!" are my 20 MO son's favorite words right now.
Some things to consider:
Allow activity but keep food in a certain area. For example, food stays in the kitchen, but your daughter can also bring a few toys in.
Allow 'tea parties' and other food-oriented play.
Place crayons and paper/ stickers and other distractions at the table.
When children have the freedom to roam instead of being strapped in, they certainly do exploit it for a time. You can safeguard from "hard to break" habits by not allowing television while eating (dreadfully difficult to correct later), not allowing roaming around the house with food, and not allowing "raiding the fridge/cupboard".
Instead, you can offer a "snack box", one that you stock in the morning with various healthy snacks you know your child enjoys. Raisins, fruit, whole-grain crackers or pretzels, a little container of yougurt or string cheese, etc. I found these to be extremely useful with little snackers because A) I wasn't an "all-day waitress" and B) there wasn't the endless discussion about food preferences. When you hear "I'm hungry", it's easy to say "Find something from your snack box". Kept me very sane during the picky eating toddler years!
One more thing: very young children don't have the same interest in sit-down meals with conversations as older children and adults do. Toddler magazines will help, and reading/looking at books and catalogs might keep their interest for a while, but really...this is just a phase. If you allow yourselves to accept that sit-down meals won't be that sort of relaxing ideal you had in mind for right now, you'll feel better about it. We've had to lower our expectations consirably. But I guarantee, if you guard against those hard-to-break habits, when your child can enjoy her conversations with you and your husband, and help set the table/prepare meals, it will be a very enjoyable experience!
Hi A.,
I have one son who is a grazer- he used to love going to buffets, where he could pick and choose what he wanted to eat. Grazing a probably a much healthier way to eat, as our bodies can break down the food into needed energy more consistently over the course of the day, and we don't have the blood sugar highs and lows that comes with only eating three meals a day. When our boys were little (they are now 14 and 15), we did have set meal times, and we always sat down to dinner at the table together, where they had to stay and talk with us, even if they were finished eating. They were able to have snacks throughout the day, and although my "grazer" did not eat much at meal times, he was getting enough to eat. When I worked with a nutritionist, she told me that kids know their own bodies and they won't let themselves starve- the will eat if they are hungry and if you offer good quality food, you don't need to worry. The biggest thing is to get into a routine and stick with it; therefore, we did 3 set meals a day, with a snack before bed and then anything else they needed during they day. The bedtime snack is a must, especially if you have a sleeper, because that is when their bodies do most of their growing. My son, now 14, has grown 2 inches in the last 6 weeks, is sleeping a lot, and grazing throughout the day!
Good luck,
C.
If you let them, they would snack all day as they wander around and play in the house or wherever. Make the table the place to eat when you are at home. If they are not at the table in their chair, they don't get to eat. We ended up doing this with our daughter as she got older and it worked. She decided that it was too much bother a lot of times to get into her chair every time she wanted some tiny little snack so it cut down on the number of times she ate in a day and helped her eat more at meal times. Good luck.
A.,
My son is 5 and my daughter will be 2 in March. When they try this trick with us we don't let it fly. She is grazing throughout the day because you are enabling this behavior. This happens more with my son than my daughter, but we do the same thing. Meals are taken at the table and when they get down they are done. If they don't eat much they wait for the next meal and eat the same thing.
Both of my kids have learned fairly quickly that Mom and Dad don't play around. My son had the same meal offered to him for about a day and a half before he figured it out. My daughter had hers offered a two meals and figured it out (I think).
Good luck,
Melissa
Hi A.. I am interested in hearing people's responses to your question too. We have a VERY picky 2 1/2 year old son who will eat great (most days) at his daycare (I think because his peers are all sitting down to eat breakfast, lunch and snacks) but who eats very little and doesn't want to sit through a meal at home. I know it's partially our fault because we weren't consistent about sitting at the table for dinner every night up until about 6 - 8 months ago. My husband and I work different hours and we've never been a "sit down for dinner" type of family. We are trying very hard to be consistent now, but as my daycare provider has told me over and over, it's hard for a 2 year old to do ANYTHING for more than a few minutes, especially sitting still at the table for a meal. I try to keep that in mind, but sometimes it is very frustrating.
I look forward to hearing what others have to say. Best of luck to you!
Hey-
You haven't "gone wrong" at all. You've been letting your little one tell you when she's hungry and she's used to getting what she wants when she wants it. As far as food goes, this is only natural when they are very little, after all, you can't really feed a baby on a strict schedule.
What I've found with my 3, is that you just have to start scheduling snacks and meals and just not offering food at any other time. After a few go-rounds of this, she'll get the idea and she'll most likely be hungry at the regular times. It just takes time and patience to get all of you through it.
It sounds like you've done a wonderful job of offering a variety of healthy foods and not overdoing on the sweet snacks. So, good job, Mom!
Good luck and Take care!
-B. M.-
It sounds like you are doing a great job! I don't have any personal experience to offer, but a friend of mine(whom I babysit for) has a "food in the kitchen only" rule. They don't have to clean their plates. They are not limitedto only eating at "meal time". They can ask for something whenever they are hungry, but they are only allowed to eat in the kitchen, and she always plates whatever it is on the table, not the counter. It may not mean sitting at the table everytime. Sometimes its going and coming for a bite of sandwich and sip of milk, but the food is not allowed in the living room, bed room, etc... This may not be your main goal, but it could be a start. As you know, parenting is a pick your battles situation. Decide what is really important and with team work (sounds like you have a great partner!) patience and perseverance you can suceed. Good luck and keep up the good work!
This sounds EXACTLY like a typical day for my two-year-old! He is actually a very sturdy little guy, so he must be getting enough to eat, but he doesn't want to sit still to do it. There are just so many fascinating things out there to explore, he doesn't want to sit!
The one time we do all sit together routinely and he joins in readily is at dinner. He does love this, being part of the family, sitting at the table instead of his high chair, etc. He will usually finish up eating before everyone else, and want down, and I just let him go.
Don't worry, it will smooth out and become more routine for her. You haven't gone wrong at all!
Considering that dinner tables and schedules are relatively recent inventions in the timeline of human progress, snacking or grazing are probably far more natural and agreeable to the digestive system than sitting down for a big meal.
I think we do our kids a disservice by trying to force their natural inclinations into a pattern imposed by society and the industrial revolution. Having said that, though, it is important to gradually help kids adapt to the kinds of schedules that modern life will require of them.
I just doubt that this has to happen at such an early age. Your daughter's inclinations seem to be healthy and serving her well. Would it be possible for you to adjust your ideas a bit about how it "ought" to be? You might all end up happier, and your daughter might grow up with a natural relationship with eating that seems pretty rare today.
