Toddler Bed Transition Overnight?!?!?

Hi. I don't know if this will work for you but it did for me. When my son transitioned to his daybed he wouldn't stay in bed. He kept getting up because he wanted a hug, or a kiss, or something else. What I ended up doing was sitting with him until he fell asleep. I'd sit next to his bed on the floor and run my fingers through his hair and we'd talk softly to each other. After a few nights of this I made my time in there shorter and shorter, leaving before he fell asleep. I would tell him that I had to use the restroom and that I would be back. Eventually I didn't have to be in there anymore.

I have a 23 month old that climbed out too. We put a little baby gate outside of his door so that when he wakes up at night he can open the door and call us, but he cannot get out. When he calls me I go to him and rock him back down. The first week or two was rough, but he has been in his bed for about 5 months now and sleeps through the night on most nights. If he does wake up I go to him and put him back to sleep and he will sleep the rest of the night. I cannot stand to hear my little guy cry and friends of mine that are doing the cry it out method are not having much more success then me. This way he feels secure, I feel good, and we are all sleeping! Good Luck!!!

I'm going through this right now. From what other moms have said, depending on your son's temperament, a week of difficult sleep times is pretty normal. If you have a persistent kid with high stamina it could take longer.

There are two kinds of CIO. Ferber is check on him after ten, then every 15 mins. When we tried it in desperation at 6 mos., it seemed to be teaching him to cry longer. We had better luck with Weissbluth's book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. He has different strategies for dealing with sleep issues. He recommends CIO for most parents because most of us are not able to be consistent with the other approaches. His version is 1 hour limit on crying for naps, and no going in at bedtime.

I recommend learning the difference between protest crying and frightened or distress crying. Always respond to distress. That kind of crying seems to escalate. Also some children don't do well with CIO.

Personally, although CIO worked when he was younger, feel that it doesn't work at this age 27 mos. Our little boy has gotten very good at staying awake. I know he is overtired and that his nap at daycare is too late. That isn't going to change. So I'm sticking to our usual bedtime routine (which has always included lots of soothing and almost always ended with my little one saying goodnight and happily going to sleep). But for the first few days I'm lengthening the soothing and even laying down next to him in the toddler bed.

I am a mother of three, everynight we have a routine with all 3 kids. Put on soft comforting music, a night light, read a couple books, say prayers and then goodnight. I never shut the door, but leave it open slightly so my kids know they can get up if they need to, but they do not, instead they call me if they need something. I don't know exactly what a door cover is, but the fact the baby cannot get the door open and is in there alone sounds scary for him and sad to me. I try to allow a certain amount of independence and trust. When my youngest (2 1/2) has tried to get out of bed, he got up a couple time and after being put back realized he was not going to win. He goes to bed so easily now.

Good luck.

I know hearing him scream is hard. We did this when my daughter was 15 months b/c we were expecting our 2nd child 2 months later. If I remember correctly, it only took a few days, 4 at the most, for the crying to stop. I remember sometimes I would peek in and she would be past out asleep on the floor. When that would happen, in those first few days, we just left her on the floor b/c we were afraid she would wake up and not want to go back to sleep. Good luck! Just tough it out now so you wont' have to do it later.

There is 2 basic methods the cry it out an the no cry. I have done the cry one and did not like it very much ... I think it is called Ferber method. Basicly you let them cry for 10 min then check on them with out picking them up(patting on the back and such) then 20 min (if still crying) etc.
The no cry ... Every time they cry pick them up till they stop and then when your ready put back in there bed.

Good luck!

Have you thought of a safety rail? We used one for my daughter and she transitioned very easy. I think it was because the bed wasn't entirely open. You can find a rail designed just for toddler beds at Babies R Us or you might be able to find one cheaper online but if you want to get it right away... you might want to try the store. Also, my daughter does get out of bed periodically because we don't have a cover on the door handle but we just take her back to bed, telling her it is Nite Nite time. Sometimes she crys, sometimes not but usually she is out within minutes if she does cry. Hope you find something that works. I know how a crying child can break your heart. Good Luck.

Look through old requests/answers in the sleep topic, and I'm sure you will find lots of mom's with the same kind of problem, and some other problems that may come later for you. :)
I'm a stepparent, so I have no firsthand experience with babies...but, since this is sort of a new thing with your son, you could try establishing a special new bedtime routine (like playing a soft cd in his room to soothe him) and be consistent about it, and maybe he will feel reassured?
BTW, sorry to hear about your stepson...that sounds so sad to me... I hope he didn't feel "left out" or "replaced" when his brothers were born, and also hope it didn't hurt your feelings too much when he made the choice to leave. I know it would have hurt mine.

I really believe in trusting our natural instincts and not letting LOs cry it out. I just read an interview with the Dr. who was credited with the method (I forget his name...) and he hates being associated with "cry it out" and really meant delayed response, not a full hour of crying, to give babies an opportunity to learn to self sooth. Just my humble opinion... best of luck to you!

Oh my, Please don't let your poor son scream for an hour hysterically! If it hurts your heart to listen to think about what it is doing to him to be in that room, with the door shut, he can't get it open, he's scared, hysterical, screaming for you - and you don't come.

What people don't realize when they try the cry it out approach is that they are in fact harming their children and themselves. You aren't listening to your gut which says go take care of the baby/toddler, and the child who is freaking out, scared silly and desperately needing his parent to come rescue him not to mention his blood pressure is sky high from the hysteria. If you continue each night to let him cry it out like this, he will eventually stop. But the reason they stop crying is because they have given up believing that the parent will come rescue them. How sad is that? And, worst of all, their ability to trust that their needs will be met is damaged.

I liked the one gal who soothes her child to sleep. That is wonderful, the child knows he is safe and loved. You cal also seriously establish a bedtime routine to work with that, bath, stories, and bed...something along those lines, so he knows that it is time to go to sleep. Eliminate anything that is stimulating about an hour before bedtime to he has a chance to wind down. Take him to the park or outside just before getting ready for bed to run off some extra energy.

Above all, do NOT let your baby cry like that. It isn't doing any of you any favors. It doesn't feel good for either of you so why continue? Bedtimes should be relaxed and enjoyable - as much as possible. Sometimes you are going to have a rough night - but that is life. But, listen to your gut - do what feels best for you - that which does not break your heart or your child's...

Good luck...

warmly,
J.

It took my daughter about a month to get used to staying in her toddler bed. For the first year (from 2-3) we had a routine where I would rock her (until she got too big, then I just sat next her bed) for about 5 mins (it was the length of one song on the CD I play for her at night). Now, for the most part, she stays in bed (she's 3 1/2). She does still cry a little, but she's always had sleep/bedtime issues.