To Have or Not to have.....that Is the Question

There are basic non negotiable costs that go along with having a child however a second or third child is usually less expensive because you already have all the equipment and clothing. If we waiting until we knew everything would be financially set then I don't think any of us would have kids. lol

I'm a firm beleiver that you should not bring a child into this world that you cannot financially support - food, clothing, diapers, formula, child care, health care, etc. (For others reading this - that means no WIC, social security, subsidies, food stamps, heating assistance).

I also beleive that you should have a stable, secure marraige, and both partners should be in agreement.

Once those 2 are met, then go with your feeling.

if it's a "things are gonna be tighter than we're used to" type thing, but you know you CAN provide for the child, go ahead and go with your gut... but if you truly don't know how/if you can provide care for/feed/medical care/shelter for another child, then it would be irresponsible to intentionally get pregnant.

we can't fit another carseat in our car... so we would have to buy a new car which we can't right now!

so, how's that for an answer? :)

"Momof2girls" said it all! I applaud her response.

In today's world, finances & personal relationships must factor into the decision to conceive. Children deserve the best we can give them. & that doesn't mean extravagant or expensive lifestyles....just the basics & a secure home filled with love- & not fighting parents. While it's easy to say "God will provide"....it is our duty & responsibility to do everything within our means to provide for our children. Children are a blessing meant to be just that!

I regret not having more children before my fertility dramatically decreased.

Whatever you decide, keep in mind that there is a time limit for most women.

Good luck.

It is all of the answers you have received so far. And more. You have to not just be able to provide daycare right now but figure in the long run. school clothing, doctors visits, braces, college. there are a lot of things to throw in. But if you can say yes to all those things and your heart and mind are saying have another baby and your husband is on board then yes its time.

If you are going to have more children, you should stay home with them instead of send them to daycare.

You seem like a responsible person, in that you are thinking about the money already. Start saving a little extra right now and then you will have the time it takes to get pregnant and the time while you are carrying to save. You will make it work! I agree with the others, if you are already thinking about it, you are ready.

If you wait until you are financially ready, you may never have another one. Ask yourself this question- how much money would make you comfertable? If you don't have a answer to that question, then you just need to go for it!!

.

If you know you want another child, then that is a decision.
If you and your partner are of the same feeling, then you know you want another child.
The "timing" of it... can be tossed around forever.
Then you need to consider how long it would take to get pregnant. Some women do not get pregnant right away. Then there is their age and health.
Yes, it costs money.
So you need to see... how you and your partner can or cannot handle that. And have happy kids.

There is no right answer... only what you/your partner can handle... and still be good parents and happy.... and provide for your children.

For me, I have 2 kids. We always wanted more than one. I think about 3 kids... but for me, that is not something I want... absolutely. I am fine with 2 kids. My Husband is too. Yes it is more expensive... but we somehow manage.... our kids are happy... I just am thankful for that.
They have what they need...

There will always be cost worries... and financial worries... about children. It can be overwhelming... but, we and others manage. But responsibility is always the key thing. Being clear and cognizant about it...and that BOTH partners... WILL be a part of raising the children and keeping up the household.

I know one woman, who wanted another child, but did not. It was because her Husband was NOT involved in her 1 child...at all. And he was just a handful himself. She did not want to then raise 2 kids.... on her own... as her Husband went about his life... without stepping up to the plate and being a responsible "Dad." Though, they could have financially had another child.

all the best,
Susan

This question has a lot of answers... the practical "time being right" based on money, how old you are, where you are in your life... and the emotional side of "time being right".. It really doesn't matter when it's right for someone else. You have to figure out when it's right for YOU.

I do think you should consider money -- can you afford the child. Without welfare. Without medicade or CHIPS. Can you provide all of a babies needs -- medical attention, food, love, shelter, stability. I don't think you ever have "enough" money to have a baby. What is enough? 5k, 10k, 100k, a college fund? Even people that are well off have a hard time seeing where they will be able to make ends meet and adjust to the increase. I would say if you're life is *stable* and you're paying your own bills, not on any government assistance.. money shouldn't be a huge factor. After that the comfort level is up to you. I personally wouldn't if I was already "pay check to pay check" or without any savings and not at least living in my own place (condo, apt, house, whatever just not 'with' anyone else besides hubby.) I also waited to have children until I was older, we own a home, etc. My personal choices. That was when it was "right" for me.

The emotional side of when I was ready to have another baby... I knew we would have more when our family didn't feel complete. My husband and I have made the choice together, talked about how many kids we want from the start and kept that communication open to make sure we were both on board with it. Typically my kids are about 1.5 - 2 years apart.

I think the responsible parent has to weigh both the practical side and their emotional side and make the choice when they are BOTH right.

Good luck.

someone once told me that you'd never regret having another...but you might regret NOT having another. Then again, I have five :)

My sons are five years apart and it is nice to see big brother teach little brother different things and learn compassion and sharing. There is fighting, though, and the older is jealous of the younger...