Testing the Waters with Another Girl

If you love your daughter as much as you say you do than you should accept her for who she is. I think that your biggest concern is that she believes its love and it may be but accepting who she is will help you convince her not to run away with this other girl. Just support her. If it isn't this girl then it will be another at some point

you did not say how old your daughter is but here is my advice-

I don't know how you feel about dating in general, but it is unbiblical and in my house at least, our girls know where we stand on it and why- they have been given good foundational teachings about the purpose of dating, worldly dating versus biblical courting and the consequences of it all. My oldest who is 15 and has been asked out, has a good head on her shoulders and says she is nowhere near ready to be married so dating holds no attraction for her- she does not want the emotional baggage that comes with no blessing or benefit. So though I believe homosexuality to be wrong, the same goes for this kind of relationship at this age- it is inappropriate whether it be a boy or a girl.

Second, your child is still in your home- you have the right to control the influences she is under. If my daughters have friends that encourage disrespect and defiance when it comes to authority, these friends are spoken to about it and then if there is no change, it is cut off. My oldest is now mature enough to make these choices on her own- if she is friends with someone who is walking a path she does not want to walk- she will choose to invest less time in that relationship and more time where it is profitable. Your daughter is still under your God given authority- if she is making poor choices regarding friends and fellowship, it is up to you to step in and put up some fences.
You need to sit down and talk to her and reiterate- no matter how she thinks she feels about this person (whether it was a boy or girl) the most important thing is that she and the other girl show respect for your authority. Is this girl going to provide for your daughter what you provide for her- food , shelter, clothing, etc? No, she cannot, she is unable to in every sense of the word. Her only motivation right now is to stir up rebellion and disorder. You are the authority in your home and you are responsible for order.
All this "accept her for who she is" is nothing more than a tearing down of your authority and God's order. When she is out of your home and wants to pursue that path, then it will be between her and God and she will have to deal with the consequences - and that is for whatever kind of relationship she decided to pursue- if it was a guy disresecting your authority it would be the same answer.

This girl does not care enough about your daughter as she has made your daughter believe because she does not care to acknowledge your role in your daughters life- she has no concept of resonsibility, honor and respect and though your daughter may be angry for a time- you cannot expect her to make a right choice here and you have every right to make it for her until she either changes her attitude or she is able to provide for herself.
I will pray for wisdom and discernment for you and for your daughter and that your daughter would no longer be prey for this other girl, that she would seek after God's blessings by honoring and obeying her parents and that your mother - daughter bond be strengthened and this false relationship would dissolve quickly.
God Bless you and your family

Tell her you love her no matter what. If you realy disapprove of this girl you will need to have a stable argument just as you would a boy. It is normal for a teen to choose values that are very different from yours. Argue the don't care thing too. Your beliefs are different but the idea that you don't care is rediculus because of .....
Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Family Healing is a christian book that may help.

Love and accept for who she is. If you don't you will lose her. God taught to loved our children unconitionally

P.,
I have three girls as well. My middle daughter came home and informed me her best friend at the time told her she was in love with her. wow! Unfortunately for the friend my daughter did not reciprocate those feelings. My daughter was frankly grossed out by the whole thing. The other girl could not let it go though and has been giving her a very bad time at school. I have had to talk to the principal several times regarding this other girl and her issues. I even had to go so far as tell him if it happened one more time I was going to file a restraining order on the other girl. And, I would have done it too. I believe it is our job as parents to keep our children safe and protected until they turn 18. I have had to do this even against one of my own daughters to keep the younger two safe. It has been hard, but as parents we do what we must for our children's benefit.
I do agree that you should sit down and talk with your daughter and let her know you love her through this time in her life. Do not make her choose as she very well could choose the girl and run off with her. Just love her and things should work out the way they are meant in the end.

It could be exactly what you say "just testing the waters"n a phase. Bisexuality or homosexuality is more prevalent these days in the media, and could just be your daughter's way of expressing new and strange feelings about love and relationships. She's been friends with girls all her life, and some adolescent girls may find it easier to relate to another girl rather than approaching boys, which are unfamiliar and maybe scary. The bible was written many, many years ago and while God may have not intended for people of the same sex to be together I do not at all believe that he thinks it is a sin to love others. Gay people are usually the nicest people I know, and are never out to hurt other people with their "decisions", they just want to love and be loved like everyone else. The worst thing is that its untraditional and she may not have biological children with her partner someday, is that the worst thing she could be doing? She could well marry a man and decide she doesn't want children, so neither way makes a difference, she is her own person and you can love and support her, which is the most important job you have!

P.,

I agree with Tanya.
The best thing you can do for your daughter is to love and support her no matter who she falls in love with.
If you show her that you can be supportive of her even if you don't agree with her, then she can be free to explore the relationship from the safety of a loving home, and not feel like she has to run away to be herself.
You should go to http://www.pflag.org
It's a website fo parents of gays and lesbians, and should be a really good resource for you.

P. `

My advice would be to treat this as you would if the girl were a boy. What are the rules in your home about dating? What are the rules about sexual activity? Following the rules and respecting the boundaries are what is important, not the gender of the dates.

Most girls (not all) go through the whole rebellion phase by choosing someone to be with that mom and dad are not fond of. I think at this point, being as she is young and "testing the waters" the fact that this someone is a girl should not be an issue. I moved out the day I turned 18, with a guy who had treated me like crud for almost 2 years already. Did my parents like him? NO but they never made me choose. At that time, I would have chosen him. We were always invited over for dinners and my parents spent time with us at our home as well. DO NOT ALIENATE HER!!!! You also mentioned God, she may be wrestling with those feelings as well, but be unwilling to admit to them. Show your daughter you are on her side no matter what. Talk to her about this person she is choosing and why she is choosing them. Don't make light of her feelings either. Try to remember how you felt at her age. Unfortunantly as teenagers we think we know everything and sometimes make bad choices. I found my way back and because my family had been there all along supporting me I had a much easier time when the relationship ended. Just keep loving her!!!

Oh I understand your concern...I did not catch how old your daughter is....do you think that this is just a phase that she is going through because she is making friends easier with the girls than the boys? are the boys giving her a bad time? she may just be experimenting and confused over her sexual identity and not understand her feelings for her friends and able toseparate the many emotions that she is going through now....how old is she?

I have girlfriends that live together and have for years. The one was artificially inseminated and they have a son that is the same age as my son/grandson.....I have raised him since he was 3 mos old.
The one woman was married for 18 years and has three children of her own. So I am not prejudice to gays...but it is a hard road for them. I wonder if your daughter is just finding it easier to bond with a girl at her age than a boy. What is her relationship with boys? Does she have friends that are boys? Have you noticed that shehas always been attracted to girls? Has she ever had a boyfriend? L.

how old is your daughter?? She should be interested with boys and not girls are girl-friend... sorry to hear such things at that. God made us to be with men and I would certainly tell her that and depending what age, she should be corrected. Take her to couseling if necessary..