Okay so i have 6 kids, 2 girls 14 and 16, and 4 boys two 13 year olds, 11, and 5 year old. My 14 year old girl gets SO nervous when it's doctor time. She does feel really unconforetable talking about female issues so i was thinking that was the reason she hates going to the doctor, because they ask about periods etc. But my 16 year old could care less about those things and doesnt mind going to the doctor, so i was hopeing my 14 year old could follow the exampe lol. I feel really bad seeing in the doctor so nervous, and her hands are always so cold! anyways, any advice to get her to calm down a little. Help is much needed!
Thanks!
yes, she does hace a female doctor and i have talked about the doctor if should go in etc. she said the doc is fine and wants me to come in, and i noticed whenever she is nervous her hands get cold ever since she was little. cheerleading comp. her hands were cold, first day of high school, hands cold. So i thinking its just a nervous thing.
It sounds more like embarrassment. Remind her that the doctor is only asking for medical reasons and she shouldn't feel embarrassed. It's not like the doctor is going to call everyone she knows and tell them everything. Is it a male doctor? Maybe she would feel better with a female doctor now that she is getting older.
Is your daughter's doctor a male or female? I've always felt more comfortable w/ female doctors, but that's just me. I've gone to both.
I dislike doctors, too. Does your doctor have any sort of email system that she could use for the really embarrassing questions? Is the doctor a man or woman? We had a man for a GP when I was a kid and I could have crawled into my own skin and disappeared if I ever had to ask him something really personal. To this day I much prefer women for doctors.
I have gotten so anxious that I've passed out from a simple vaccination or minor blood draw. It's very real and you need to work with her about it. She's a different kid than your 16 yr old.
you said her hands are always cold. take her temp when she is feeling fine. my hands and feet are always cold. my temp is usually 96.8 inatead of 98.6. only two degrees but those make all the diff when i have a fever. have them check her thyroid. that is a sign of it being off. also the anxiety could be a sign that she is not truly balanced as she could be.
A few things may need to be switched? do you go in with her? maybe she doesn't want you to go in with her or vice-versa. Is it the doctor? Maybe the age, gender or method of the doc bother her. Could you switch? If these things have already been considered or tried, them why not give her something to look forward to RIGHT AFTER that is unique to this situation and fun? OR maybe do something really fun prior to the visit so she's all happy and relaxed.
If you can help her figure out where the anxiety comes from when she's NOT having to go, that might help. But there are some adults that have "white coat hypertension" - they are just anxious about the doctor, even though they know better.
I think it's the fact that your 14 year old is so new to womanhood. I think you might need to get your 16 year old to help you with your 14 year old. It could be she's getting unwanted attention form people at school or even your son could be teasing her and making things harder. They may not even know they are doing it, little comments can be all it takes. Heck, I remember my younger brother rummaging through a suit case looking for one of his shirts but instead he yanked out one of my bras, being 8 years old he waved it around hollering my name to get me to claim it so he could keep looking for his shirt. I was mortified.
Talk to her, keep talking to her, get your older girl to talk to her. She may just be more sensitive, she needs confidence in herself in her body.
My 14 yo is still seeing a pediatrician. She faints at needles, they are better equipped to handle fainters.
She also freaks out, has panic attacks and such.
So I am always in the room with her. The nurses and dr's still treat her with kid gloves.
We always go out for icecream or something fun afterwards. The last dr visit we had no shots and no fainting so I think we are getting better.
