Suggestions on How to Ween

I've been running into the same issue...she doesn't like cows milk, but sometimes she will drink that transition formula...the Enfamil Next Step. You might try giving her some of that and see how that pans out. Otherwise I have been putting a pillow between my daughter and I and giving her a bottle....I know no bottles after a year or whatever the rule is, but at least it is helping the transition. Really she doesn't even like bottles otherwise, and it's preventing her from trying to grope and latch on. I got the idea from Super Nanny...she had a 2 or 3 year old on there that was still bf. It worked for that mom very effectively. She ran into some resistance at first, as have I...but at least I am down to one time at night.

Hi C.
Most children will stop when they are ready.At 13 months its not for the milk,I believe its for the closeness and bonding.
They grow so fast enjoy while you can.

Good Luck
P. V

Have you tried mixing breast milk with cow's milk? At first, give her mostly breast milk and a small amount of cows milk. Gradually add more cows milk and less breast milk

Hi there,

Is there a reason you are in a hurry to wean your daughter? Some are not ready to give up that closeness with Mom that early. I'm not suggesting your nurse until your daughter is five, but enjoy that time with her. Let her lead on when she is ready to quit nursing. I'm also not suggesting nursing just for a quick drink, either, but I don't think that 3-4 times a day for that age child is too much. Oh, I STILL do not like the taste of cows milk!! lol There are other healthier alternatives also, such as almond or rice milk that she may like.

Did you try the milk in cup? Cool vs warm?

We all love what we are used to- especially when it involves being close to the one we love.

The transition will be hard - but should pass quickly when you stop nursing. It is also hard to explain to a small child - why they can't continue enjoying the things they love. Once you are really ready to stop - don't get wimpy - and do the "one last time" thing that we so often want to resort to. Be confident that this is the right thing to do - and she will adjust quickly.

Some kids don't drink much milk after they are eating food - and use yogurt, cheese, and other calcium rich foods as alternatives. Those cheese sticks are even fun to hold. Most doctors have good alternative suggestions.

Also - weening is obviously not working for her - only 1 or two feedings a day - it's almost like the you can't eat just one - potatoe chip slogan.

She is probably ready too - try to tell her "no" with a small sentance each time she wants you. Kids can not listen to a paragraph of explaination. Make it firm and loving. Something like "mommy's milk is all gone".

I'd of course suggest a lot of cuddle time - to replace the nursing time - but during transition this may be confusing - so be careful.

Be confident - and reassuring. Kids pick up on subtle messages - we may not even know we are sending.

Good Luck

I am also weaning my 13 month old and have found that he wants a bottle, not a sippy (emotional nipple replacement, I think), and have had much success with chocolate flavored rice milk. They also make vanilla which will taste more like your milk than a cow's milk will.

It's also possible baby may have an intolerance for cow's milk, as many people do. We skipped it because my husband has an allergy.

He gets sippies with juice most of the time, but nursing time I am replacing with rice milk bottles and it worked like a charm, almost right away. He will fuss, but take it eventually, and DEVOUR it.

Give it a try! Hope it helps!

I'm still working on night weanings... check my listing for advice from other moms... nights are harder but we're almost there.

I am actually going through the same thing, so I can't be of much help. I know I just got done weaning my son from night time (I did it slow in segments as he would be "hungry"- so I would wean him one feeding at a time, make the change for 3 days and this helps set up a habit). It sounds like you are though the night weaning- just nursing to sleep? Anyway, there is a good website out there for nursing info (I think there is a way to post a question too). http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/nursing/
I only mention this as there are only a few responses so far. Hopefully you will get more responses- as I said I am going through the same thing too and am interested to hear ideas.

1) Some one actually did this! They put tape (maybe duct tape or something- try something that won't hurt though) and put it over her breasts. She told her child that momma had an "ow" there/ owies. And this helped finish the process- all it should take is 3 days maybe 7 at most to make "changes".

2) I have been making changes slowly (editing out certain nursing times) and I have been saying "no". I usually don't like to say "No" but sometimes enough is enough and I sometimes need a break. [If they cry I am caring but firm. I found out my son complains because he doesn't like the change, but then after a few days is ok with the change and doesn't complain anymore]

3) Some one (a Dr.) Suggested using Soy Milk (or something sweet) to help ween your child too. I had been doing Egg Nog & Chocolate milk- the Soy Milk didn't work for me. But My son doesn't nurse as much anymore now as he is drinking Milk in other versions. (I agree about trying to heating it up too- sometimes this is more like mom's milk). [P.S. the only reason I am ok with Egg nog- diluted with milk and Chocolate milk is because my son is so skinny he can use the extra calories. Besides Choc milk is used by many mothers I think.]

Hope this helps- sorry I can't give more advice I am going through the same thing. Check out berkely website though- I got good ideas from there too.

There is also a book called the No cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It has some suggestions especially if your child is nursing to sleep at night/ naps this is good. I wasn't sure of your whole situation if you broke your child from nursing to sleep or not. If you haven't I would google "pantley pull off" as it is a good technique from the book above about teaching them to roll over and go to sleep - instead of nursing to sleep.

-D.

C.

I am a mom of 4 grown children and grandma of one. I cold turkey stopped with only one and the pain is NOT worth it. I was away out of town at a wedding and could not enjoy myself. However, with the others I weaned by the sign of the moon. And easy is NOT the word. My husband's aunts all swear by it and so I tried it not wanting to hurt their feelings on trying to help. The Farmer's Almanac is where you can find the info and it's online as well. Just go to the month and find the dates which are "good" for weaning. Usually there is one day that is "BEST". Just nurse her that last time(morning or night makes no difference) and you're done. It was so easy and cost you nothing!!! no pain no anything!!!! I wished I had done it with the one that I cold turkeyed,that pain was excruciating!!! Good luck and believe me....when she is thirsty,she will drink. Maybe not much milk at first,but other things and she will build up to the milk later.

Lots of moms do nurse much longer than 12 months. The World Health Organization actually recommends 2 years to keep your kids from getting hospitalized from simple toddler conditions like Rotovirus or Influenza. Kids in most other countries nurse until they are 3 or 4.
I weaned my first baby at 15 months because of pressure from friends & family that I was doing something weird by nursing past 12 months. With my second, I found support through Naperville's La Leche League group, and have had a wonderful experience nursing my daughter past two years. She and I both love the close bond from our nursing sessions. She hardly ever gets sick, it's a great way to stop an temper tantrum, and I can still eat my extra calories. Every year I nurse I also reduce my chances of breast cancer by 7%, which runs in my family. Nursing was even daughter's reward for potty training successes! If you want to read more health & emotional benefits, here's a great article.
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...
If you still decide that this is the right time for you both to wean, I would suggest gradually tapering off the nursing. Maybe each week you could decrease by one nursing session. Make sure you have a lot of support when you do wean. Some women get very depressed as they lose the oxytocin that is produced when you are nursing.

I would "just say no". Pick a day and be the boss. She's old enough to learn that when you say no its no.

I would, in advance of the decided day, start offering your pumped milk in her favorite sippy cup. When the day comes, offer her that at the nursing times. Hold her, if she's not so mad she rejects you, while she drinks. What she wants is the closeness nursing offers her. If you are firm about "no!", then she WILL give up eventually, probably faster than you think.

Once she is drinking breast milk from a sippy cup you can start adding in cow's milk, in very small amounts so she cant possibly notice. Add more and more as time goes on, removing your milk from the mix very gradually. My daughter needed hypoallergenic formula (she could not nurse due to health problems and pumping full time just did not work) and the stuff tasted AWFUL!! This method worked very well, getting her on the icky tasting formula within 2 weeks.

Another thing, my pediatrician said that kids do NOT need to drink milk. There are calcium fortified juices, calcuim in cheese which most kids love, yogurt, green vegetables, and many other sources. If she doesnt want to drink cow's milk its just fine. Many vegan mothers, though I am not, raise perfectly healthy kids with strong bones never giving them cow's milk.

So be the boss because its your body, cuddle her a lot- extra cuddles, and be flexible about her not liking cow's milk if she just wont drink it no matter how slowly you try to get her onto it.

Good luck!

Nursing is not just a nutritional act, it's nuturing emotionally as well. Further, your milk offers immunities that her own weak immune system cannot produce yet (studies indicate a child's immune system is not fully mature until the age of 3 at the earliest, perhaps as late as age 5). SO this is another benefit to your daughter nursing still. IMO you really need to go slowly if you truly want to wean her. She apparently is not ready. So, if she asks for it, you should give it to her. But you can do the "don't offer" approach. Also, see if Dh can put her to bed.
There have been moms in my support group that I coordinate that have decided to wean like you and have found great ideas from our group of nursing mothers. Our breastfeeding support group meets weekly on Mondays in south Naperville if you're interested in coming. See "my businesses" for the details on The Naperville Area Breastfeeding Support Group (It's not a business, it's a free support group that I just volunteer my time for).
Best wishes...

I would maybe consider breastfeeding for a bit longer. It is such a good source of immunity for your baby. And she may be more willing to give it up in just a couple months. Though you may just be ready to be done! In which case I reccomend letting her have a bottle...(I know some pediatricians think this is a no no, but I haven't found any ill affects on my two children. She might feel it is a better substitute to you than a sippy. You could try enriched rice milk or soy milk as a substitute to cows milk.
Or I would try leaving her for a few days, so that she adjusts to not nursing without the stress of you being present, but not available...

Hi C. I had The same problem and i tricked my daughter put cows milk in the sippy but acted like i was squeezing it from umm umself and it worked as a matter of fact she thought it was funny this is just a suggestion but it did work

You'll think I'm harsh. But all I did was say "NO!"

I didn't let my daughter boss me around - she was 17 months when she weened - I nursed at night only for three months prior to that. My suggestion is to say no to the day nursings, but encourage the evening before bed cuddlings and nursings. Use it as a springboard to start reading to her for 15 minutes every night.

If she is crying or throwing a fit, comfort her, but still say no.

If she is refusing to drink milk or anything else, it's because she's full because you are nursing her. Once she doesn't nurse for a day or two, she's going to be hungry and want the milk as a substitute. Soon you will find she will gradually ebb on the demanding for nursing.

However, I've found night-nursing is very comforting for them and helps them get to sleep. Once we had cut out all the day nursings, it took about 3 months of night nursings/book readings and then one day she just let me read a book to her ONLY. From that point on it was smooth as silk.

I've been reading to her every night since then - she's now 7 years old and is in first grade - and she's way advanced for her age and doing exceptional in school.

Good luck!

S.

C.,
my son was 14 monts old when I had to cut him off becasue I had to take some medication and it was too dangerous for him. I cut him off cold turki, it was a lot of crying and a week of sleepless nights, he was drinking only about 2 oz milk at the time, but after two weeks he slowely started driniking cow milk... I was giving him planty of yogurt, cheese...now few months later, he loves his milk. I wouldn't recomend chocolate milk...when you start chocolate milk there is no way back.
good luck
lili

have you tried pumping and then mixing gradually with formula? or mixing gradually with milk? She may like the comfort of nursing (pretty understandable). Or she may not like the taste of milk. If you pump and then mix with some milk, you can first wean her from the physical act of nursing and then gradually move onto the taste part.

I just wanted to add that the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommend nursing for a MINIMUM of a year. And the WHO (World Health Organization) recommend a MINIMUM of 2 years. So unless there is some reason you feel you just have to quit I would lean more towards a baby led weaning process. The don't offer, don't refuse method seems to work for most moms to cut down on the number of nursings.

i think sometimes you just have to say no. when she gets hungry or thirsty enough she will eat or drink something else. if you keep giving in to her she will never ween off. it is a control factor i think.

C.,
You are doing better than we are!!! My son just turned 15 months today and I am lucky if he drinks 1 ounce of ANYTHING besides my breast milk. And personally I find it a little hard to tell him "no". He wants it and doesn't eat enough variety to be getting all his nutrients otherwise so I figure he's probably making the right decision to continue at it for now. He's also teething pretty bad and has had a few sicknesses so I think he's also finding a great deal of comfort in it as well.

As for your decision to wean.......I know that society and pediatricians might tell you that 6 months is recommended and 1 year is really the limit, but is it? It's confusing to me why we would try to prevent our child from drinking such a nutrient and antibody rich substance, natural mother's milk, to give them milk that is meant for a baby cow which ALSO has lost most of it's beneficial substances because it has been pasteurized. Then again, if the child loses interest in your milk that's another story but even then I would try to avoid cow's milk and try something like almond milk. It's much healthier and you don't have to worry about the hormones and antibiotics.

As for some REAL advice (sorry, I just thought I'd share from my heart).....I'm not sure where you live, but there are a couple of La Leche groups that I go to on the north side with some great leaders who would be happy to answer your questions. They are a bunch of sweethearts and have helped many (including myself....many times!!!!!). Here's the website with the locations and times:

http://www.lllusa.org/IL/WebChicagoIL.html

Good luck and I'm sure it will all work out wonderfully. Take care.

All 3 of mine gradually lost interest, but at different times-the first at about 13 months (liked bottles of water) and the other 2 closer to 2 years old. As the second 2 got older, I said "no" to them if they were pulling on my shirt in a public place (!) so set definite boundaries regarding the "where". The last nursing time to go was at bedtime--it really is a closeness/comfort thing. And I know you all hear this so often, but they are babies for so short a time, and a first child seems so old at every age. If you have the time and patience, keep at it without allowing them to manipulate you (between 1 1/2 and 2 you can reason with them and more easily distract them--read a book)! Maybe they just want you to hold them and rock them....

I want to thank you for asking this ? I have been pondering weaning my 13 month old as well. I don't want to, and I never dreamed that I would be saying that. In the beginning, I hoped to make it a month, then I hoped for 4 months, then 6 mos., maybe I can go 9 mos, and finally I hope I can go the whole year. Now, it's how long can I do this? I'm starting to get the dirty looks and hear the comments. It's the only 'baby time' I still have with my very busy little toddler! I have been doing some reading online about weaning and everything leads me to letting him give me the signs that he's ready, now lets just hope that's not when he's 7! He has always taken bottles at daycare and has been refusing them for a week now. They have tried about everything, sippy cup, formula, whole milk -- he won't have it. They made me feel like I needed to do something about it and stop nursing, but I have decided that he's not starving to death and he will eat when he's hungry and take a bottle and/or sippy cup when he's ready -- I don't believe there is anything that I can do about it. He's been doing this since he was diagnosed with an ear infection and we had a long weekend together of nursing exclusively -- I think he will come around when he's feeling a little better. Good luck and wish me some as well!

C.,
It sounds as if your daughter is feeling a little insecure, whether from the weaning or from something else. First, I would look at what is going on in her life. Was she sick? Was there a sudden break in her routine? A new babysitter? Something else? Is she working on learning a new skill? Sometimes weaning is a two steps forward, one step back process. Since babies and toddlers get comfort as well as nutrition from breastfeeding, they often increase the frequency when they feel insecure or sick. You might also want to examine your reasons for weaning at this stage. If you are anxious about it, she probably is picking up on that emotion. When she's anxious, she turns to you and, remember, derives comfort from the nursing. So, relax. Give her lots of cuddling and slow down the weaning process. It will happen.

Hi C.,
I started weaning my son when he was just over 2 years old. He'd always been what I considered a "quick" nurser (about 10 min. on each side), but I still wanted to wean him gradually. So I set a goal of weaning in 10 weeks. I cut 1 minute of nursing from each side every week. So every Sunday would start the new amount (i.e. week 2 = 9 min. on each side, week 3 = 8 min. on each side, etc.). When we got down to 2 min. a side I freaked out a bit that nursing was almost over and so I stayed at 2 min. for two weeks. But then I continued with the schedule. He transitioned easily from week to week. Additionally, I moved my son into his "big boy" bed at the same time (I know your daughter is much younger, so this may not be as helpful) and I really built up this exciting transition. Instead of sitting on the nursery couch and breastfeeding directly before nap, we sat in his new "big boy" bedroom and read stories. My son was distracted by the change of location and the new room, that it took about a week and a half before he remembered to ask to nurse again. I gently dissuaded him at that time. Also, I've never given my son cow's milk--he gets calcium, Vitamin D and fat from other sources. (Again, he was older than your daughter at the time of weaning, but it may be worth checking out alternatives to cow's milk if your daughter doesn't like it: i.e. yogurt, soy milk, flaxseed oil (for fat--I add it to my son's fruit smoothie every morning and I make the smoothie with calcium fortified orange juice). Hope this helps and good luck!

My second daughter Sophie is almost 10 months old, I have a daughter Isabella who is 4. I just asked the lactation nurse about weaning Sophie- I actually nursed Isabella at night until she was almost 20 months because I didnt have the heart to break her....The best suggestion I had from my nurse that worked very well for her was to elmiate the morning and lunch- go for a car ride whatever it takes and then when your down to the night feeding warm up a sippy cup of whole milk and start a new routine- rock- story.....It might be hard the first few nigths but once you have done it you cant go back....So I guess cold Turkey - and in a few days she will be fine- I think its harder on us Mommies.....Good luck...You will probably see me back on her in a few months saying its not working for Sophie...Good LUCK....

Hi C.,

I have two children and remember being faced with the same challenges with both of my children. I ended up stopping cold turkey with both of them. My daughter was first and it was very hard. I finally got her down to nursing in the morning and at night. Then one day I decided it was the day to stop. She had her morning feeding and night time was brutal. We had a family bed as well so she clawed at my shirt and did everything she could, but I told her no and that was that. It took three days, and then it was like she never nursed. My son on the other hand tried for months after I finished nursing him. It's very hard, but it was easier for me to just stop cold turkey after I got them both down to two feedings a day. I hope this helps. They are 12 and 10 now and very well adjusted children.

I weaned my son at 13 months. I bought him special cups just for milk when I went to work he used Dr. Brown's bottles so I bought him dr. brown's sippy cups- they are clear and he could clearly see his milk. I think started with 1 oz of milk to 7 oz of breast milk and every other day would increase the amount of milk and reduce the breast milk until he took all of his milk from a cup. You might want to try giving your daughter her milk from a bottle for a few weeks first and then move towards the sippy cups. the bottle may be more soothing.

We started getting a little worried about this around the same age - not because I wanted to wean my son, but because we wanted kids about 2 years apart. I was able to get my son to drop back to about 2 nursings per day (morning, night) around 13-14 months and, when he got to be 14 months I started taking Vitex (chasteberry - an herb that regulates hormonal cycles). I ovulated for the first time postpartum at 16 months and found out 14 days later that I was pregnant! I actually continued to nurse my son throughout my pregnancy until about 2 weeks ago (I'm now 23 weeks preg. and he is 21 months old). He self-weaned, which made me feel really good about the whole experience.

I'm pretty convinced that the Vitex helped move things along. My sister - also breastfeeding her 18 month old son, is now 9 weeks pregnant after taking it. So... you don't have to wean to get pregnant, but I would definitely try and cut back to 1-2x/day. And, it doesn't hurt to try the Vitex either. At 13 months kids can be pretty distractable, so it may be as simple as changing up her routine a bit during the times that she normally nurses. Good luck!!