Stop the Screaming

Updated on October 30, 2008
A.C. asks from Lincolnshire, IL
12 answers

Hi!

My son just turned one a couple weeks and he won't stop screaming. I know there is nothing physically wrong with him, but he screams A LOT. It is starting to become a problem at daycare too. Mostly it has to do with food. If he sees you put food in the oven or microwave he screams until it is ready. I try to ignore him because I don't want to encourage it, but I live in an apartment and he is so loud. I don't know what to do. Please help me.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much, everyone. I guess I knew that it was a phase, but it was nice to hear that others have gone through it too. It makes me want to pull my hair out at times, but hopefully it will be over soon. Thanks again for all the wonderful advice.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

have you tried "time outs" until he learns to be quiet? They can't be quiet all the time but if you ignore the loud spells and reward the quiet (with a healthy food) he'll eventually catch on. Good luck mom

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

Blow in his Face.

I did this with my son, and he had to catch his breath and stop. Then I started singing a song,and he usually joined in by babbling, or just quieted down enough to focus on something else. At this age it's all about distraction. My son did it all the time then, and still at two does it once in a while, though not as often and only while throwing a temper tantrum. Recently he did it, and I turned the faucet in the sink on him. That shut him up fast, at which point he said "oh no mommy made a mess" So I threw him a towel and he cleaned it up. LOL. God it felt good, and he hasn't done it since.

Also try giving him something to do in the kitchen while you're cooking. Give him measuring cups, wooden spoons, plastic mixing bowls, and let him play on the floor. My son has his "drawer"(my baking drawer) that he can get anything out of and play with to "help" with dinner. Once he gets older you can have him help make dinner with you, as it can help them to try more foods, and be less picky, gives them something to do and they feel included.

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I have heard that whispering softly near the child's ear will make them stop screaming because they have to stop in order to hear what you're saying. I was never patient enough to try that consistently. My son was also very impatient while waiting for his food. I would give him something light to munch on while I was busy preparing his meals.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

My kid is 21 months and still screams when I put him in the high chair prior to getting his dinner ready. He doesn't get the whole "mommy can't make the microwave cook any faster" concept yet. He screams, I let him. I ignore it.

It could be that he has just found 'his voice' and has been using it more and more either to repeat his previous experiences or uses it to see what sorts of reactions he is getting out of people.

Good luck...it will get better. My son used to scream at everything and now it is just at dinner time. That's good enough for me at this point *laugh*.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

The other responses you've received are good. I might also validate his energy and feelings by making it a bit of a game: Try to match his energy by getting louder and enthusiastically saying something like "You're so hungry! You're so excited for your food to be ready! You can't wait til it's done! Hurry up food! etc..." In doing this, you provide a bit of fun distraction and he feels like you understand his experience. Enjoy his energy and unique 1-year-old perspective!

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

BEEN THERE! My son screamed for fun. He did that same thing while we were having our basement finished and the contrators had to listen to this for weeks. IT WILL STOP>>>>> be patient and don't even respond or look or comment. I think he learned to do it, thought it was cool and finally when we stopped responding it didn't seem so fun anymore. Two years have passed in a heartbeat. JUST LOVE HIM!

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

Yikes is he hungry, scared? Find out what the cause of it may be and then go from there. If he is scared of it help him understand the safety rules. I know he won't get it but talking to him in a calm voice may ease him a bit. If he's hungry give him a little something to tide him over. I would also distract him either before you put stuff in or when after he sees you doing it. Make it special time for the two of you where you sit and color with him or read or something. As for the school thing he shouldn't be in the kitchen of the day-care. Is it in a home? I guess that would explain it.

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

A.
Sometimes before little learn to really talk they scream, point and make other noises until they actually talk. I know this is frustrating at times but try setting up more smaller meals for him.

J.

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D.P.

answers from Chicago on

Sounds like he's hungry. I cut up some cheese into small cubes and have it ready in the fridge then he has something to munch on while I'm preparing. If that doesn't work, maybe something else is bothering him. Also, teaching a few basic sign-language signs might help (i.e. for eat, milk, water, more, etc). This helps him to communicate his needs before he is verbally ready.

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V.S.

answers from Chicago on

He just turned one? This is normal! He can't verbally tell you what he wants yet right? So he's screaming. I think right now he's too young for a time out or leaving him alone in his room. Try anything you can to distract him.

My daughter also screamed while her food was being made. I gave her a light snack to eat/play with until her food was ready. Like those gerber puffs or crackers, cheerios, etc.
Is he screaming because he's really hungry? Has it been a long time between meals when this happens? Maybe add an extra snack to his day.

I'd also encourage him to talk and ask for what he wants. My daughter was 15 months old before she learned to say "eat" when she was hungry.

Just don't give in to the screaming because then he'll know it's ok to do that when he wants something. After a while he'll know it's not working and stop. It will get better, good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Chicago on

Welcome to tots finding out that they can controll their vocal chords.lol Screaming will happen. A LOT! It is a feeling that they are in charge of something and that they can scream as loud as they want.lol I remember it well. I have two boys who are only 18 months apart. I was getting it in unison.lol

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

this is such a common phase!

What has worked at my daycare is EVERY SINGLE time that the baby screams we all whisper, "we use a quiet voice". Every time. All the kids know to do this too. This seems to stop it in about 2 weeks time.

Another suggestion Dr. Sears had is take him outside and scream and yell and tell him outside we make loud noises, then take him inside and be quiet and whisper and tell him inside we use soft voices. Do this every time he screams according to Sears. Of course not sure Sears lived in the Chicago area where it is so cold!!

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