Starting to Potty Train and Need Help!

I have used a video/book combo with all my children (3 potty trained), its called Once Upon a Potty by Alona Frankel. They are gender based books (one for girls, one for boys). They discuss the different body parts he has, so that he will relate to the boys in the movie. They worked great for both my sons and my older daughter. I plan on using it again with my youngest. We also did treats for successful attempts. Stickers work great if he won't eat them. Otherwise a small piece of candy or some other small treat he likes. Good luck! L.

First I think that 21 months might be a bit young (but I've heard success stories with younger), so I wouldn't expect too much for him. With my son I tried to be very calm with everything. I showed him the potty and asked if he wanted to sit on it. I would have him sit on it like when we changed his diaper, or before bath time. I really didn't see much signs that he really understood it all until about he was 27 months or so, so you might have a ways to go. Might try keeping him nude for awhile around the house. Granted he might pee on the floors but when you see that happening, just hurry him to the potty and tell him that we don't pee on mommy's floors but in the potty (that really helped with my son!). We are on the tail end of potty training at our house, so if you have any questions, feel free to message me.

Hi L.,
I started with my son when he was 26 months. He was showing signs that he was ready. He caught on pretty quickly, in fact was doing number two before number one. However, once he mastered the potty he decided he wasn't interested anymore. I dropped it for a couple months and tried again. We would have some success and then he would stop again. This cycle continued for over a year. He is now doing it on his own. What made him decide to finally do it? His younger sister started using the potty (she was 18 months).
I honestly thought my son would be trained when he was two. I thought the mothers of 3 year olds that were not trained were just being lazy. I know better now! It is true that you can lead a toddler to the potty but you can't make them go. They will do it when they are ready. It is also true that boys take longer than boys (at least in my case).
You have nothing to loose by starting the process with your son, just be prepared that he may not do it right away. Try to stay relaxed and don't get upset with him.
With my daughter I started by putting them on the toilet right before their bath (she always peed as soon as I put her in the tub). After a while I started putting her on the potty during during the day. After a while she would pee and poop in the toilet if she was naked, but not when she had on a diaper or underwear. To help with that problem I used her puppy from Build-A-Bear. We bought the puppy a pair of underwear and put it on the puppy. I announced that her puppy needed to go pee and asked "What should she do? Should she pee in her underwear? OR should she pee in the potty?" We took her to the toilet, pulled down her underwear, waited a few seconds and then she peed. To simulate the peeing I snuck a syringe filled with water and yellow food coloring into the bathroom with us. While puppy was sitting on the toilet I hid the syringe behind the puppy and pushed the water out. My daughter could hear the puppy pee and could see the pee (yellow food dye). I did this several times during a couple days. Even my 3 1/2 year old son thought it was pretty amazing. He looked at the puppies butt and asked "Where did it come from?"
I hope this helps you!
Good luck!

Hi! I think it's great that you want to potty train now. Between 21 and 24 months is the perfect time to start training. And, why spend so much money on diapers when you can potty train now. First of all, you'll need to get everyone in your household and all caretakers on board. You will need 3 days straight of time at home while you potty train. Make sure you don't start until you can dedicate 3 full days to it. When you decide to start, do it all at once and don't look back. You must have a positive, patient, loving, attitude at all times. Throw out Caden's diapers (in front of him or have him do it). Tell him he's a big boy now and doesn't need diapers - big boys wear underwear. Give him plenty of praise, don't ever say "no", when Caden has an accident just pick him up and run him to the bathroom. Praise him for even the smallest amount of success. Tell him over and over again that he's a big boy now and big boys go pee and poop on the potty. He will have accidents and he may not be trained until the end of the 3 days but keep with it with your positive attitude and you will be glad you did. Believe me, this works!

J. (mother of 2 boys, 5 and 3)

21 months is young for you to have any expectations. Keep taking him there and enjoy the process rather than hoping it will happen over night. It may take up to a year for him to go from showing signs of understanding what it is and what it is used for to using a potty chair every time he needs to go.

Warning: once he does poop in the chair, avoid taking it directly to the toilet and flushing (unless he asks you to). Some kids get freaked when their poop gets flushed away and it stops their training for months. Just have him wave goodbye to it and walk away. You can flush it down when he is not around.

He is not too young. People used to start potty training their kids around 1 to 1 1/2 years--just ask your parents and your grandparents! And what has changed--kids' bladders are still the same.

What you are doing is great! He's interested in the potty, and keep bringing him to it every time he asks.

One thing I would is get rid of the disposable diapers if you are still using them. Put him in regular underpants. Disposables are made so well these days, kids never feel wet while they wear them. This poses 2 problems: (1) There's no incentive for NOT peeing in your diaper, as you're still going to be comfortable; and (2) Kids can't put 2+2 together as to what it feels like to have to go, to actually be going, and to be done going.

Will underpants be more work for you? In the short-term, yes. But he will be potty trained much faster. (He probably can't go overnight without peeing, so then you could look into pull-ups or perhaps just underwear with a plastic cover. They also sell special mattress covers.)

Let him sit on the potty all he likes. One trick I read to jumpstart things is to have them drink a lot of liquids, then have them sit on the potty a few minutes later. Go nuts when he does pee in there for the first time. Clap and smile and do a little dance.

At 21 months with a boy especially you should probably just make it a game at this point. He might or might not catch on or even be interested for quite awhile yet. We started playing the potty game with our 2 year old at around that point, and that is all it was... a game. He is now 27 months old, and his grandma insists that in Germany all babies are potty trained by 18 months and that we are sadly lacking as parents, so while he is at her house, she really pushes it, and she did get him to go #2 on the pot yesterday. However, it is really hit or miss, and I learned that when they... the child is truly interested, you will know, and it will be a breeze rather than trying to get them to do it on your time.

My daughter is 23 months old now and we started just real loosely potty training her about a month ago.. we bought some cloth training pants so she is aware of when she pees. We got her to pee on the pot for the first time when we put her on the pot and had her play with a couple of cups of water. We would pour one cup into the other cup as to make the noise of running water and with her playing with the water after about 5-10 minutes she had her first pee.. after that we all got very excited about it and she seems to understand how to pee. Although it very much goes in waves. it can go a couple of days where she will not have any pee accidents at all and then like we are goign through now we cant get her to pee on the pot at all.. just try to make sitting on the pot fun, with books, singing or just some new toys (I highly recommend the water thing, dont worry about the mess) and keep them interested so they dont think about sitting on the pot and wanting to get up.. We still havent gotten her to poop on the pot so no advice for that.

Good luck.. remember it will take a long time, as I read in a book, think of how strange this is to him. He has peed and pooped in their diaper his whole life. It would be like trying to teach us to start going to the bathroom in our pants again.. If he starts to get stressed out just give him a couple of days off and then pick it up again..

Thank goodness you posted this! We just started potting training our son today and I don't expect miracles but I'm changing lots of dirty pull ups with only 1 successful potty. I will watch this post carefully.

Hi L.!

My son was interested at 18 months and would pee but one day stopped. He is now nearly three (will be three near the end of October) and is doing very well! Just last week he decided he was going to be a big boy. He LOVES all things Batman and his swimming suits. I bought him a Batman P E Z dispenser and he gets one for urinating, and two for the bowel movements. He can choose to wear his swim suit all day if he potties in the appropriate place three times in a row. If there is an accident then the swim suit has to be washed and we are back in the diaper. I did this with my daughter too. But she liked her big girl panties, so in the place of the swim wear were panties. My tricks were to keep them on the potty as long as I could. We sang the alphabet song, counted to at least 10 and named off family members and close friends. We talked for a good 2-3 minutes and then I'd let them get up. I tried a timer that instead of beeping it oinked, and it helped my daughter stay and wait for the piggy to talk :) I only have one bathroom now, so I set the potty chair outside the door if the toilet is being used. When I trained my daughter the potty chair followed her every where, yes even outside to play until her timing was better. My son seems to wait and do very well in that department. But it is all up to them to figure out what their bodies are saying and when. They need time to learn how to control their bodies to get to the right spot to take care of business. You can be the coach and cheer him on. We kind of made the diaper change a big deal too. Babies go in diapers, or Batman wanted to give you candy :( , or when you go on the potty we can get undies. My husband acted disgusted, like he was going to be ill. Our daughter thought that was funny and it worked for our son. So try a few things out and once you find something that seems to be working be consistant. Be patient. I know a boy that the parents tried everything in the book and at four he ditched the diapers and has done great since. It really is their decision.

It's great that you are trying to get a head start on things, but boys really do have a harder time with potty training and if you push them before they are ready, it will make it more difficult. At 21 months, he is probably just barely ready.... You said that he will sit on the potty but not do anything. At this age, that's exactly what he should be doing. And let him do it when he wants to (don't force it). Make it fun for him. Go to the store and get some potty books and/or videos so that he can start to learn what it really means to go potty. Make him a sticker chart so that he can get a sticker every time he tries and don't get frustrated with him when he doesn't want to or when he doens't actually go. The sticker chart will give him something visual to look at to see the progress he is making. Talk about going potty and that he is a BIG BOY now and that he doesn't need diapers anymore (but don't actually get underwear until you are at the point when he can tell that he has to go BEFORE he has to go and he has been going on the potty regularly). He still has to learn what it feels like to have to go and at this point he is probalby just knowing when he is going already or when he has finished going. Potty training can be a very long process and if you get started and it seems like he just isn't ready yet, put all the potty stuff away and wait a month or two and try again. Good luck and be patient... like I said, he is very young on the curve of when boys are "usually" starting potty training.