Should I Let Her Take a Break or Push Her?

Updated on May 24, 2011
A.H. asks from Tuscaloosa, AL
23 answers

So, my daughter is in gymnastics and does extremely well at it. She told me she did not want to quit it all together but take a break this summer because she says "I'm gonna be busy this summer" Which is not true, we have a one week vacation we are taking but that is it. No plans for camps, or anything else this summer. Gymnastics is only an hour and a half each week (one day a week). I personally think she needs to continue b/c I feel she needs to have some physical activity. However, a friend of mine tells me that if I push her to hard she may want to quit all together. I don't really feel like I'm "Pushing" her, because as far as how far she takes this gymnastics thing is not a big deal to me meaning I don't care if she does competitions or stuff like that. I just feel like I don't want her sitting around this summer being idle. Am I being a little to pushy in making her do this...there's nothing else she is saying she wants to do.

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So What Happened?

Thanks ya'll she is 8 will be 9 in a month. My husband says to let her take a break also, I'm so torn. I just don't want her to loose interest in it. She has a BLAST everytime she's in class, even during the "conditioning" excersises she has a huge grin on her face the whole time she's doing it. I kind of feel like she wants to quit b/c her BFF is quitting and I just don't want her to be a follower in that area. But I don't want her to begin to resent it or resent me

Someone asked how long she's been in gymnastics. She only started in August and has breezed through the beginners class and intermediate and is now in the Advanced.

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Eh, maybe time to try a new activity?

(This is from a veteran mom of a lifelong competetive gymnast, if we're not looking at the olympics, why not try another sport?)

:)

4 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I agree with asking what will she be doing instead as an activity..

There are so many great summer sports..

Tennis, swimming, softball, running, dance, Ti Kwan Do

2 moms found this helpful

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Let her stop. If you push her, she's going to be resentful and then something that's suppose to be fun will be hated.

Why does she have to be enrolled in something to not be idle? I was never in sports when I was a kid and I was always active. We rode bikes, played outside, mowed the lawn, went swimming, and hung out with friends. I can only remember a handful of days during the summer when I was idle, even into my teen years.

There's always something to do.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Let her take a break. It's supposed to be for fun, and if she's getting tired of it, let her stop.

4 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

It's summer, let her take a break or look for a different activity to try.

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

If she's on a "team", then she needs to stick with it over the summer. If she's doing it for fun, then let her take a month or so "off". If she takes more than that, she will lose skills and flexibility. An hour and a half is a really minimal commitment, so I'm guessing that she's losing interest and doesn't know how to tell you.

I studied ballet essentially my entire "life" until graduating from college and took one month in the summer "off" (meaning one or two classes a week rather than twice a day) to just be a "kid" or a "teen". Those physically intense activities can overtake your life and cause you to forget what "reality" is, but in this case it doesn't sound like she's in a competetive activity so she's probably "done" with gymnastics.

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C.M.

answers from New York on

Maybe you should let her take a break. What else does she like to do? Try tennis or dance lessons. At least she'll still be active, just doing something else.

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A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

to her - "Busy? What are you doing, getting a job?:) You're not going to be at school for 7 hours a day, so I'd say that pretty much frees up your schedule for this 1.5 hrs to go and enjoy your gymnastics class ONCE per week. Besides, you won't be seeing your friends everyday at school, so wouldn't it be nice to see your friends at gymnastics once per week?"

I would really GENTLY push her to keep going or at least give you a better reason because she is obviously NOT to busy :)

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

Ask her what she would like to replace it with.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Take off the month your vacation is in. I just enrolled the kids in Summer gymnastics and we go twice a week for 8 weeks. K will do 3 hours and J will do 2. Both are on the same day and one right after the other.

The month you have the week's vacation in could be a month to take off from class so that she can have time to help you get everything ready. Letting her have those couple of weeks off might be just enough break.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Maybe she'd like trying something else during the summer months. Perhaps swimming.
If she's wanting to quit because her best friend is quitting, that's not a good thing. Maybe you can compromise with ways to still see her friend outside of gymnastics and still keep up with her classes.
You don't say how long she's been in gymnastics. Even though she enjoys it, maybe she's getting a little burnt out. I would suggest some other athletic things for her to do in place of or in addition to. Summer can seem really long to little kids and she may just be feeling she'd like to do some other things.
Just a suggestion.

Best wishes.

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow and hour and a half a week? When I was in gymnastics during the summer we had practice m-f from 7:00 am to 9:00 am. During school we had practice m-w-f from 3:30-5:30. Our coach look at summer as a way to help improve our skills and learn new things since we had two extra days. I quit when I was in the 5th grade as I couldn't play school softball and do gym. As much as I loved gym I prefered softball. I would encourage her to keep going, but let her make the choice.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would let her have a break. If anything, it'll have her start more motivated when it begins again. She can exercise other ways.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

So my son started band in 6th grade and loved it. Right before 8th grade he tells me he wants to "maybe" quit band. After much prodding, I found out it was because his best friend was quitting and they were not going to have any classes together.

Yeah, I didn't let him, he really didn't want to - was just being pressured by his peers. He is in 9th - still in band, and still friends with the boy who
turned in his instrument. LOL

For your daughter, find out what her BFF is doing this summer - I would think that plays a role in her desire to take a break. Maybe you could offer a compromise- instead of going every week, every other week. Find another activity to replace the gymnastics with for the summer - swimming, tennis, something that will continue to keep her limber.

She is old enough to have a say in her extracurricular activities, but young enough to make decision without thinking of long term consequences.

Good Luck
God Bless

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A.H.

answers from New York on

You might not have any formal plans for her, but perhaps she might have some for herself, or at the very least, she has an idea of what she wants to do during the summer. Why don't you sit down with her and discuss the summer plans? Like you said, it's only 1 1/2 hours each week, so taking it or not taking it isn't really going to impact whether or not she's going to be idle. Perhaps she does what to go to a camp or to try something else that would actually require more active time (win / win!). I wouldn't push her on the gymnastics. If during your discussion with her you both decide that she does need another activity to fill the summer, decide on something together and go with that.

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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

I have two daughters, one who will be 8 soon. I like them to be involved in an activity. I would ask my daughter if there was something else she would like to do. If not, I would strongly suggest she stay in gymnastics. As you said it's only 1 1/2 hours a week! That's not much. It really shouldn't interfere w/her being able to do other things. My girls know they are expected to do some sort of physical activity. That's just my general rule. They are free to decide what activity they will do, I don't push any one thing. My mom let me quit everything when ever I wanted. I regret that she didn't push me a little harder to stay involved. Again, just my opinion!

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J.H.

answers from New York on

My 9-yr-old has taken a break from gymnastics class during the past couple of summers and still wanted to come back in the fall.

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J.F.

answers from Buffalo on

I think in your shoes i would tell her she could take a break if she tried a different activity instead. Give her several options including gymnastics and let her chose which she wants.
Good luck :)

C.M.

answers from New York on

Hi Amy,

Well, this seems to be covered, but I would just suggest that she either find some other physical activity this summer that she likes to do or continue
gymnastics. You didn't say how young she is, but a body in motion tends to stay in motion...a body at rest -- well, you know. ;)

"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

An hour and a half one day a week?
Ooo you slave driver Mom you! Just joking! :-)
Seriously, an hour and a half one day a week is as close to doing nothing as makes no difference.
We did nothing that one summer right after we moved and my son was bored out of his mind.
There are 168 hours every week. (24 x 7)
Let's be generous and say she sleeps 10 hours a day (70 a week).
That leaves 98 hours to eat, shower, read, watch tv, play computer games, play with friends, do what ever.
And she's complaining about 1.5 taken away from that 98?
If she wants to do something else that will keep her active and keep her from becoming a couch potato - fine, but doing nothing is not an option.
She's not signed up for 6 activities (you are SO NOT pushy).
Her class might feel different with her BFF not there, but she can see her some other time.
You don't want her to resent you?
I hate to be the one to tell you but they all resent us at one time or another.
There's no dodging that bullet.
Being a parent means making the tough choices and doing what's best for your child whether they like it or not.
Many times, it's these kind of things they look back on years from now and finally see and understand why you did what you did.
Go with your gut on this one and keep her in gymnastics.
Eventually this interest might run it's course and it will be time to move on to something else, but I'm not seeing any signs that that time has come for right now.

M..

answers from St. Louis on

I would make her go.... My mom let me be a gymnastics drop out and I always regretted it. I think she does need to do something this summer. She will get break from all day school, but she doesnt need to just veg everyday. I mean, dont take her kicking and screaming, but I would encourage her not to give up on it.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi. I would let her take a break. Are there no kids in the neighborhood she can play outside with? It may not be structured, but it's play and that's all kids need. Also, how old is she? I would not force her to join an activity if she's not going to have any fun. Or if you definitely want her in something, although she says there's nothing else she wants to do, there are a lot of options out there that maybe she's not thinking of. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Syracuse on

I can relate to your story. Our fourteen year old daughter has been swimming competitively since she was five, the last two years on the HS Varsity team as well as year round in a club. In the last few months, she has been complaining more about going (she can swim 5-6 times a week, but we weren't in a carpool this year, so she generally went 3-4 times a week, 2 hours a practice). I decided she was going to take a break until August when Varsity picks up again. She is swimming or lifting weights twice a week on her own at the Y. I did not want to push her and have her stop liking swimming. Maybe your daughter can work out in another capacity this summer, like at a swim pool or gym.

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