Should I Force Potty Training??

I wouldn't call what you're suggesting "forced" potty training. I would call it potty training. If a child is ready to toilet train, one of the first things you should do is get rid of all diapers and pull-ups (except for nap time and bed time). That's not forcing them. It's letting them know that diapers are no longer an option - pee and poop go in the potty. She'll get it, and she'll be fine. She won't be emotionally scared for life. She might fight you, but she'll be ok.

I wouldn't force her, in my opinion that never works. But when my son was 3 he clearly understood how to go on the potty but was just refusing out of stubbornness. So I bribed him basically haha I found a toy he truly wanted and said he could have it once he started using the potty. 2 days later he was done with diapers for good.

Did you force her to brush her teeth? In our house tooth brushing was expected and mandatory. So was getting dressed in the morning and putting on pajamas at bedtime. So was buckling up in the car seat. So was taking a bath. And so was putting the pee and poop in the potty. I didn't wait until DS was 'ready' to have his teeth brushed or take a bath. I doubt he would actually have teeth if I had. He certainly would never ever have been clean. When he was 25 months old, we got rid of the diapers, put him in underwear and he was fully trained in well under a week. I think it may take you longer because you waited until she was this old (and yes that is the standard American advice today - wait until they are stubborn, rather than do it when they are young enough all they want to do is please).

Please also ADD is she has a UTI??!
If so--meds and tons of liquids. No potty training.
That's the only thing that makes your situation unique.

Age 3 is not the magic age for potty training. Could be sooner. Could be later. Is that why you're in such a hurry? Because "force" and "potty training" shouldn't be in the same sentence.

I would not force her but I would give an incentive that will make her want to go. Maybe something you know she will love to do/see/purchase etc. Get a sticker chart that has both daily and a big incentive at the end. (stickers each time she goes. Big sticker on a chart for a completely dry day. Some sort of prize when she has been consistently dry for a week.
examples can't go anywhere else as long as she has diapers. so no zoo, parks etc. diapers are for baby so can't play, watch do whatever it is. and buy her some cute underwear let her help pick them out. that will make a difference. my daughter hated the big thick padded ones but a soon as I got her the ones with the days of the week and some with rainbow brite (shes 33 now lol) she got potty trained quick. Same with my boys only it was ninja turtles.

Sorry, I don't really understand your question, but if she has a UTI she needs antibiotics. After her UTI is cleared up, if you want to spend the time to potty train her then go for it.

If you want to relax and let her wait till she wants to do it, then you can do that too.

Either way, she will be potty trained at some point.

Do you have underwear for her? If not, make it a special trip where you go buy her underwear. Then leave the underwear where she could get it. I did this with my three kids, and I swear within a week they all came to me with underwear in hand asking to wear it. That was it. It was their idea and we were off. My daughter took about 3 days to get it, but a full week before we were accident, not even dribbles in her underwear, free. After summer and our schedule calmed down we took diapers away at nap time. 2 months later, diapers were gone at bed time. She had 2 accidents at night, one next to her bed and one next to the toilet. Once she realized that she needed to go right away and not wait, we haven't had another accident.

I think they just get ready on their own and let nature take its course as long as you are not faced with constraints at school .

Example.. I visited some family this week and my cousin is pregnant with #6 and #5 is almost 2.5. Right around age 2, she had a virus which included diarrea (sp) and opted on her own after a couple of episodes to sit on the potty that was in place and ready for her. Cousin never intended to actually train at that point but the child sort if did it on her own. She died wear a pull up at night.

I recall putting a potty in our bathrooms when my daughter was very young. She went on her own a few times well before 2yrs old but it was a gradual process. I didn't push and she was fully trained before 3.

I can depend on the child. Best wishes!!

My daughter's birthday is in October. In December when we went to visit the grandparents for Christmas, she was a couple of months past 3 years old. I still couldn't get her potty trained. She was very stubborn. While we were at my parents, my dad offered her a dollar for every time she went potty on the big potty. She made some good money while we were there...

I looked her straight in the eye & said "Don't think I'm paying you to potty when we get home"! She's now 11 & hasn't used a diaper since!

Don't turn it into a battle. Offer her a prize for going but make sure she knows it's her decision & you have confidence that she will make a good one...

i would tell her to hurry and potty on the potty (since shes already sitting there) and tell her that we are a big girl and big girls don't use diapers. tell her its wasteful to put a diaper on when you are already on the potty and can just go.
she sounds ready for leaving diapers behind but needs the confidence to do it.
give her the confidence

Sigh. This is why potty training beyond two, two and a half is so hard, they have so much more WILL at this age :-(
I would defer to her preschool teachers, and ask them. The preschool staff is sooo helpful and amazing with this sort of thing!
I still remember so many parents saying, "oh but my child simply won't go" and the preschool teachers, very patiently smiling, and saying "no worries, of course s/he will, we've got this!"
And it helped that there was only a diaper changing table in the two year old room, and only potties in the three year old room...hopefully that's the case at your preschool?

i started to get frustrated with my second child for similar reasons. We were going on vacation. I thoight we cant have accidents on someone elses furniture and I dont want this to ruin vacation. so I put him back into pullups for the trip. Dont you know that as soon as I took away all the attention related to it, while on the trip he started asking to use the potty. By the end of the trip he was fully trained. Apparently he just wanted it to be his idea. Just a thought...

Just curious.... does she have a UTI?

If so, wait until that has cleared.

Also...... potty training is not something you will win..... she does know how to control peeing and pooping.... until SHE wants to be potty trained, it is just going to be a battle you won't win.

Have you tried rewards for peeing and pooping in the potty? Stickers, a couple of m & m's ....... find out what her "carrot" is and you might find it goes pretty quickly.

I would wait. My DD was not really ready til she was 3.5 and attempts before then failed. I would continue to talk to her about potties, allow her to see/use a potty and take her to the potty if you think she is willing to go. I bet that within a few months, you'll see more progress. I would treat any accidents like no big deal and teach her to put her wet clothes in the sink or tub and wash herself and move on, given her personality. Empower her.

I would also try reading to her or counting slowly to 10. She "only" has to wait that long and 9 times of 10, my DD would potty before I finished counting.

I also know a little girl the same age a DD who dug in her heels until she was 4. Then her parents took away all pull up and diapers in desperation and she trained in a weekend. Like your DD, she would hold and hold and hold til she got a diaper.

Hang in there. It will work out.

Can you please update: Does she have a UTI? Did the doctor put her on an antibiotic? If she has a UTI, take an immediate break from training because she must drink a LOT of fluids and pee often while clearing the infection. I would keep her in diapers or pull-ups if she has a UTI and not add the pressure of training until it's gone. If she has a UTI it's from holding her pee in too much, probably--very common way for young kids to get UTIs.

If she doesn't have a UTI, and/or after she's clear of one, then yes, follow the preschool's advice and wait until she's readier. Training can become a huge power struggle. Bear in mind: Young children know they have very little control over anything in their lives, and there's a natural need and desire to start controlling something. They know instinctively very young that THEY can control a few things: Peeing, pooping, and eating. That's why so many, many struggles with parents are over potty training issues and eating issues. Imposing your will on her will make her more stubborn since she knows that you cannot force her body to use the toilet, so acting as if you're very chill about it for a while can actually help the situation -- she will realize you're not fighting her to do it your way, which could make her much more easy about doing it because she'll think it's HER idea!

if you've got a 3 year old with that strength of will, i'm taken back that you would even consider forcing her.
not to mention that even her preschool teachers are encouraging patience.
unless of course you enjoy battles.
khairete
puzzled S.

I agree with the others about waiting if she has a UTI. Lots of kids just are not ready till a bit older. My son could hold it also and choose when he wanted to go. He also preferred to use a diaper. At age 3 and a half I finally found something that motivated him to want to be potty trained. He visited his possible new preschool and he saw something there he really really wanted to play with. He was signed up to start in September but he could only go if he was potty trained. I reminded him this all summer. The third week in August he just potty trained himself. He did not want any help or attention from me at all either. So, my advice is to try to find some big motivation for her and when she is mentally ready she will potty train very quickly. It sounds like she is almost there since she knows when she needs to go and can hold it and choose where to go. Good luck.

I just read your SWH, and I would definitely not give up on potty training based on one accident. Most kids will have accidents. It's part of the learning process.

Our oldest trained in 4 days (I think ... he's 9 now), and the first 2 days were all about him recognizing what it means to need to pee. He would be playing and then look up at me and say, "I peed." So we celebrated. He didn't pee in the potty, he peed on the floor. But that was ok. He just needed to make the connection that, "Oh, that's what my body feels like when I need to pee."

Give her a week or so. If she starts fighting you right away you might want to back off. If she makes no progress, maybe back off. But don't expect her to be completely dry right away. That's just not realistic.

The good news is she sounds like she is ready. In my opinion it works to provide a cut ff date....when the last diaper is used or this weekend or whatever so she is starting to orepare and cold turkey stay home for a few days and potty train with solely underwear. Does she stay dry at night? If so, It sounds like she is truly ready. Each time she goes, we made a chart and gave a little toy or sticker at the end of each row and then just stopped with the chart after it was filled in. I think we went to do something fun to reward her of being able to use the potty, so when the chart was filled out we did a small outing she wanted to do...favorite park, go to restaurant, hike, beach...whatever she chose. Good luck

She's really young and doing things completely normal for her age group. I think you might want to do some research on this. She doesn't sound ready.

She doesn't have to be potty trained until she starts Pre-K. Then they aren't required to have a diaper changing area in the room.

So here's the thing with potty training - no, you don't want to "force" it - before the child is ready. On the other hand, as was the case with my son - once they're ready and simply choosing NOT to go, it then becomes, Yes, you have to. Because this is life. You don't get to choose to use diapers forever. Using the toilet is not a choice you get to make. Once they're old enough and they're truly ready (which is hard to tell, but like you, I was sure mine was) then yes, they need to be pushed to do it. I'm not sure you can "force" it, you know, it's like eating - if they're stubborn enough, they CAN avoid it. But definitely pushing her to do it is ok. This is her job now. She is big enough to have this responsibility. We all have to and she can too. I used candy rewards for my son. Good luck! (*Caveat - if they "seem" ready, but you get hardcore into it, taking them regularly, rewarding it, making a big deal about it - and they're still not doing it on their own after a week or so, then they truly may not be as ready as you think. We had several false starts. Once he was truly ready, it was easy as pie and after a day or two, he had it.)

I don't understand why there is pain with urination? Follow up with Dr until there is never pain with urination, then think about potty training.