Seeking Help for Overweight Child

Updated on March 02, 2007
A.B. asks from Topeka, KS
17 answers

My 8 1/2 year old daughter weighs about 100LBS, I have taken her to the doctor and they reccommend changing her eating habbits which we have to the best of our ability. She was not an overweight baby but when she turned about 5 and until now she has just became that way. She was never a skinny child either, but the problem I am having is finding like maybe an excercise group or something. I have tried to put her in sports, dance and tap and jazz. She didn't like either and partly because I think she is uncomfortable with her body. I try to make her feel comfortable as possible and respect the fact that she has issue with her body. I can definatly see she will be 1 of the girls to bloom first and I try to have those talks with her as well. But I guess I just need help finding other sources because I feel like it is something to address now instead of letting it go and facing way worse problems such as belemia or something.

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C.P.

answers from Joplin on

A.,
My son is 5 years old and weighs 80+ lbs. He is a big boy, his doctor says he is fine, just to keep him as active as possible! Try different sports at the YMCA or just playin in the yard!! Have you tried gymnastics, most girls find that fun/interesting. I hope some of these might be good ideas for you!! Good Luck

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J.S.

answers from Springfield on

Have you had her doctor check her thyroid? My daughter's friend, who is also 8, has a problem with her thyroid, which is causing her to be overweight as well. It has led to other health problems also. As far as getting started with activities, find out what level she is comfortable with. Maybe start out by taking her and a friend or two to a park or some other recreation area. That would get her started and help build up her energy and tolerance level. She is about the right age to begin being self-conscious about her image. It's sad to watch them go through it, and the best we can do is reassure them that they are beautiful. Also, try to watch what kind of magizines and such are in your house. Anything that flaunts anorexic-looking models will give your daughter a negative complex about herself also. Good luck to you both!

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C.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I can only image that it very hard, I would suggest that maybe you try and watch her carbs. If you lower your carb intake soon, the body will start taking the fat cells out of the body instead of restoring them with what you eat on daily basic. My boss has been on the Adkins diet for the six months and he watches his carb intake. He has lost 32lbs. He watches his sugar and carbs, his body burns fat from the inside and that is what you want to happen. Try to keep her off sugars, carbs for just a while, see if maybe this could be for her. Try it with her, its not a bad thing to do. I wish you both the best of luck and I'll keep you in my prays.

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K.W.

answers from Joplin on

Honey, Iknow what you are going through. I have an 8 yr old boy who is almost 90lbs. he is about 4'3. the doctors suggested the same thing but we found that cutting down portions are working the same. We also enforced nature walks. we made it into a scavenger hunt for nature so he wouldn't get suspicious. We started doing it once a week and now we do it twice a week. he is starting to lose some of that weight and getting healthier. I hope this helps.

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S.S.

answers from Springfield on

I would be very careful not to make her have an eating disorder if i were you but i would do more to have family activities where everyone is exercising maybe make it a general family health thing not a your over weight thing

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L.G.

answers from Tulsa on

Wow do I remember what it was like to be an overweight child and have my parents on my back about it. My parents bought me a trampoline to help me work off the weight. I loved that trampoline, I would spend an entire day on it. Plus if you think she's uncomfortable about her body, this is something she can do in her own backyard. It worked so well for me as a kid, my husband and I are considering getting a trampoline to work off some of our excess weight. But I would be sure not to tell her that you are getting this for her so that she can lose some weight. I don't think that I will ever forget all of the pressure my parents put on me to be thin, it's just not a good message to send to her, especially at her age. Hope this helps!!!

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K.M.

answers from Topeka on

Hi A.,
I am K. and am the mom of a very heavy 6 year old boy. He weights 73 pounds and is actually considered obese. We have found that the best way to make him feel good about himself and about participating in healthy eating and excersize is tobe an example. You are her motivator and mentor. Instead of putting her in activites, why dont you both go walking together 3 times a week or (if you can afford it), buy a game like that dance revolution that plugs into your TV and do that with her for like a half hour a day. It is a great bonding time for you and her, and keeps you both active. When you serve dinner at night, put smaller portions on both yours and her plate (without saying anything about it). Eat yours and talk about how satisfied you feel. Never complain about your body in front of her and tell her daily what you think makes her so beautiful. This will be a benefit to all your children, not just her. Try to avoid fast food ( I know it goes without saying) andif you do go, get salads all the way around or get each kid the SAME meal with the fruit option rather than fried and NO SODA. They may each complain at first, but this will help her not to feel singled out. Lastly, keep tempting foods out of the house. Treats are treats for a reason, they arent a common occurance. Even if your other children are still considered healthy, not allowing anyone to partake in junk and offering everyone healthy other options will only benifit the entire family. By doing these things, we were able to bring my son from 85 pounds to 73 within weeks (although loosing weight is not always reccommended for children, for him it just happened when we made healthier lifestyle choices). I know you are busy with work and other activities, but the health of your chidren now is far more important than anything else becuase it will heplp them turn into healthy productive adults. Hope this was some help and some new advice :-) Keep us updated!
K.

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A.K.

answers from Santa Fe on

THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF SINCE YOU HAVE TRIED THE ACTIVITY CLASSES IS TO BE ACTIVE WITH HER IF YOU HAVE TIME!!! JUST FIND FUN GAMES TO PLAY THAT INVOLVE HER RUNNING AROUND, OR JUST GO ON WALKS WITH HER. HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT!!!

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P.B.

answers from Peoria on

Hi A.,
See if you can get her interested in water sports. Swimming tones the body and takes weight off. She can even do water arobics and maybe you can do them with her so she'll feel comfortable

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I also became overweight at that same time. A lot of well meaning adults in my life made some pretty unkind remarks and put me on restrictive diets that were embarrassing in front of my friends. I wasn't comfortable with sports or good at them either. It became the start of a life long problem.

I think the important thing is to find something she will like. I always wanted to swim but I was not able to because no one would take me. I don't think it would be a very good thing to have her involved with anything that is competitive at all. That will only serve to deepen any emotional issues she already has over this. Just taking her swimming or finding some other thing she can do for herself would help so much.

Another great idea would be to start teaching her to cook. What if you picked up some cookbooks from weight watchers or some other very balanced type of eating plan. Make a habit of trying one new recipe every week and getting her involved in picking them up and making the food.

It's very possible that she may get a growth spurt very soon and grow up enough inches to thin out without actually losing any weight. That's what happened to me. I had about 3 good years that I wasn't not overweight. The problem is that people were so focussed on my weight that I still felt fat. Eventually I bloomed up to 180 by the time I was only 16. I lost it all when I was holding down full-time school and full-time work plus aerobic classes. But I never lost the emotional scars of being told that I was fat and not good at sports. My self esteem took so many hits. I am now in my 200's and have dieted pretty much for 20 years. I don't want to scare you more, but this is a crucial time if your going to help her through this without damage.

Suzi

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K.T.

answers from Springfield on

I was an overweight child and I realized it in 6th grade and in the summer. I started swimming and playing basketball and watching what I ate. I cut out the soda and sweets and lost 30lbs with that and a lot of playing outside. She will have to decide to do it when she is ready, just love her adn hug her. She'll know you're there for here when she needs you.
Enjoy,
K.

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M.S.

answers from Springfield on

I understand being overweight myself. Always being the "chubby" one of the group. After my 2nd child (who is now 3!!) I have still struggled with getting the weight off this time. I have started eating a lot more fruits/veggies, removing sugar, hydrogenated oils, and high fructose corn syrup. You'll be surprised when you see just how many things that these ingredients are in! They ALL contribute to weight gain and I have lost 5.5lbs and 10.5 inches in the last 2 months by eating that way and working out at curves 3 days a week. That is only a 30 min workout each time! I just happened to watch The Biggest Loser the other night and they mentioned on their website that they have a kids section. The other thing you might check out is Dr. Mehmet Oz (he's on Oprah a lot) has a downloadable workout video for kids too. You can probably go to Oprah's website for that or google him. I really hope this helps! Good Luck, and tell her that She CAN do this!!

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M.C.

answers from Springfield on

There is a very good Martial Arts School just a short drive from Springfield (in Petersburg, IL.; right next to the Post Office) that has had great success in motivating children and adults toward physical fitness in a fun and encouraging Karate School atmosphere. Cunningham's Ugottawanna Martial Arts also teaches real and effective self defense skills and the staff is available for group classes, private lessons and corporate seminars. Real and effective Women's Self-Defense seminars can also be arranged. Plus, they are VERY AFFORDABLE (making the drive worthwhile) and DO NOT require long term contracts. The website is www.UgottawannaMartialArts.com

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T.M.

answers from Champaign on

i would suggest checking out your local park district for different activities. even just going and running around with a bunch of kids will help. make sure you tell her every day how beautiful she is. if she continues to be overweight eventually she won't mind because her self esteem will be off the roof. lol

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I feel your pain. My daughter is 9 and is also overweight. I struggle daily with it. I was overweight as a child as well and understand her pain. I have tried everything that is suggested here with some minimal success. I was so concerned with this over the past few years that I insisted to her pediatrician that there must be a problem underlying this. She was tested and it was determined that she was not able to metabolize sugar and insulin the way "normal" kids do. Her body would increase insulin production in response to sugar or even carbohydrates and then would not be able to use the insulin that was produced. Therefore the sugar metabolizes into fat and is not able to be used by the muscles for energy. The catch 22 here is that doctors often say that obesity is a contributing factor to this. I have done alot of research into this and have found that it is not as simple as that. There is certainly a correlation since most people with this syndrome are overweight. Too much insulin in the body also makes you feel hungry all the time. There is medication (Glucophage) but the side effects on my daughter were vomiting almost daily so she was taken off of it in favor of dietary and exercise changes.
It is nearly impossible for my daughter to lose weight despite limiting her sugar intake, increasing fiber, reducing simple carbs, increasing her activity level etc. I have looked all over the city (Kansas City) for fitness programs for kids and haven't found any other than competitive sports or like you say, dance. Since she is overweight, my daughter has also had trouble with these. My local community center doesn't offer anything and the gyms I've looked into don't allow kids on the equipment. I too am a working mom and find that there such little time between 6-830pm after doing homework, making and eating dinner, getting baths etc. its hard to fit in a workout schedule but we try to walk and just keep active. She also has a trampoline that is effective for exercise in the warmer months but winter is limiting! I even attended a nutrition class with other parents of overweight kids who were experiencing the same frustration. Many of them had other kids as well who were not overweight and eating the exact same food.
So...I can completely relate to what you are going through. I make it a point to tell my daughter how wonderful she is, to concentrate on "being healthy" (not dieting) and to not listen to the kids at school who can't see what a special person she is. I know that building confidence is my number one priority with her.
In short, you may want to have her doctor check everything out to make sure there isn't an underlying medical condition. In our case, there is but limited treatment. I will check back here and see if there are any other good ideas! Good luck!

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D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

Increase activity may be just the key but it should be daily activity. Nothing motivates better than having a buddy to do exercise with and it may be that you become that buddy. After all if you're not exercising then she won't want to either. I'm not assuming that you are carrying extra weight, I'm just thinking that if you do work out, you could change your schedule to include her.

I see this with my 2 year old and I see it with my niece. My workout ususally happens while the "baby" is in bed and Nay-nay's dad just lets her eat all the time because he eats all the time and their dietary intake is awful. He says he works hard so he doesn't have the energy to go walk with her. It's also h*** o* her cause her brother is on medication that keeps him from gaining weight and there's always food out for him to snack on.

Like you said the best thing to do is change the eating habit of everyone in the family. Jay McGraw and Dr. Phil's book for teens really helps me with Nay-Nay and the book for older adults helps me although it's not getting through with her father or mother and their spouses.

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Good morning, A.
I understand, my daughter which is 12yrs old now went through that same experience.One thing I know you don't want to do is make her feel uncomfortable with her body. who has the issue with her body(it my be mom).Our girls learn what they see & hear what she need is positive reinforcement. I see that you tried sending her to jazz,dance & tap she know why she's going and she doesn't like because thats were you want her to go and lose weight that is emotionally disturbing to a girl at any age.So here is what i did: I did sign my daughter up for Girl Scouts Camp. She went 2yrs in a row they have 1&2 week camps. The first time my daughter went she really enjoyed herself and came home lbs lighter to, she had no idea thats why i sent her its not a over weight camp at all. I sent her for the first time for 1 week but she was signed up for 3 different sessions.So since she enjoyed herself i sent her again for the 2week session. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it she's only 8yrs old just watch what you buy as snacks,find new ways to cook more healthly(kids love fries, just put em in the oven)Ordia Fries are the best. Include her in the kitchen when cooking, let her make her own healthy food list(at least u know she'll eat it)cookies,buy them by the pack (100 calories per bag)send lunch to school and last but not least YOU MUST change everyone in the household eating habits.NO FAST FOODS. If you do eat out 2-3 times a week make it a cook to order meals.Then gradually go from 1 day a week to cooking all the time.The secret is a (crock pot sista) and they have it all prepared in the freezer section.Good luck

the number to Girl Scouts of Greater St.Louis:###-###-#### or 1800-###-###-#### ask for a summer camp session book. the earlier you sign-up for camp you get the sessions you want.
and try campignforrealbeauty.com

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