Seeking Answers to Help with Grandson

Updated on June 05, 2010
K.K. asks from Jacksonville, FL
5 answers

My grandson is 7. He has ADHD and RAD. How on earth can we get all of the negativity out of this little fella? He is constantly telling us "no!" for everything....it is as if he is going through the terrible two's. He didn't have any opportunity to complete the developmental stages while under the care of his bio-mom and grandmom (she was very ill). Now, my daughter, his stepmother, has him (has had for a year now) and due to certain circumstances they live with us. He disrupts the whole household with this behavior and the set consequences don't work. Neighbors report that he behaves well, for them, and so does his teacher. He'd been doing well for awhile but I am begining to wonder if the "brain medicine" and counseling are no longer effective. I work full time and his disabled grandpa tries to take care of him after school (sometimes). We need HELP!

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C.O.

answers from Sacramento on

I wish I knew the answers to help...but I have never been in a position to experience this. Have you found any support groups? Your daughter can talk to the pediatrician to get some reccomendations.

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J.S.

answers from Miami on

Hello,
This child is a challenge due to his poor emotional development - behavioral therapies are unlikely to offer a lasting solution - same with the medicines, they merely are a means of chemical restraint and suppress the soul's distress so that it festers deeper without being expressed. Attachment parenting and therapies that heal stress/trauma are needed. Regular psychotherapy and psychiatry tend to ignore these realities and can sometimes do more harm than good. You can find therapists who specialize in holistic/alternative approaches to parenting and helping clear distress - and fostering emotional bonds - psych drugs are definitely not a solution. Love and light (spiritual energy) are what heals, not toxic brain-disrupting drugs. As caretakers you need to be loving to the child yet he has built a defense that causes him to sabotage the bond - it's like he is seeing if you will reject him since that's his subconscious expectation, and if you become angry and punitive it's reinforcing that expectation. Read up on attachment parenting for some ideas to help yourselves cope with this situation.

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Hi,
What is he eating? This ADHD, is usually due to a lack of essential fatty acids, B vits,and nutrutional problems. Check Weston Price. com, and Fienglod- there may well be a chapter close, both help with handling food problems, what doesn't work for him, or what he is missing.
best, k

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

www.masgutovamethod.com. Find somw classes in your area and find out how to integrate reflexes at home. No one understands the neurodevelopmental processes that are underlying the behavior. Do not treat symptoms but go for the cause and unintergated reflexes and development need to happen for him to understand his body and become aware of things. He is negative because he has not switched on yet. Look into it....it is incredible. You can also find a practitioner to come work on him.

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

My son has PDD NOS and ADHD I know its hard, and it takes time and love and a lot of patience, I would recommend that you talk to his doctor, maybe he needs a different dose of medicine, counseling will always be effective, but you may also need something else, have you tried Occupational Therapy? They can helpt you set new consequences and a reward system that have been very effective with my child. Occupational therapy has helped my child with many behavioral issues like hitting himself and crying for hours without end, also you can try a sport, or an after school activity. I would definitely recommend support groups for you and your daughter. I know sometimes it is hard to see but he is not trying to disrupt your household he just cant keep himself, he needs help. I wish you all the best, and I'm sure you'll get there. You are a mom and you know how parenting is, never easy, always memorable.

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