Seeking Advise on How to Handle My Son's Tantrums

I know the frustration you're feeling. I was wondering if this has always happened or if its been new, say in the past couple years. With my daughter, she was fine, sweet couldn't have asked for a more polite, nice young lady, until she hit about 8 years old. Then she went into streaks of being out of control, it wouldn't last to long but none the less, out of control. We went to 5 different psyc doctors trying to figure out, they all told me she was a normal pre teen. When she was in 9th grade, she had a suicide attempt, come to find out she is bi-polar. Hers is hormone induced, so every month, she would go into the same rages it sounds like your son is having. I'm not saying this is whats going on with your son, but disapline of any kind may not get through to him because when he hits his rage he isn't in his own mind. Its just a thought you may not want to rule out. Being bi-polar is an illness, just like diabetes or high blood pressure, nothing to be ashamed of, but something that needs to be taken care of with medication. Once we finally figured out what was wrong with her, she was back to her happy self, the daughter I knew and loved. I just wanted to give you something to be aware of, I had no idea about anything like what was going on, I thought it was me doing something wrong or something. I'm just so sorry it took so many years to figure it out. Good luck:)Sue

Hi K.,

Do some research and see if they have anger management classes available in your area for your son's age group. I know they have them through the YWCA in the Flint area but I don't know what they have near Livonia. My teenage son has gone through them and they have made a difference in how he handles his anger.

Good luck...pre-adolescent boys can be a handful and it is hard trying to be both parents at once!

T.

K., This age is hard. He probably is taking the responsibility of being late or whatever it is and blaming himself and he probably does not know how to express it. He needs more tools on how do deal with his anger and frustration. A good thing would be to start be finding the root of it. A good councelor could help too. I am a firm believer on finding the root of the behavior and treating it instead of discipline. Kids and most of adults don't know how to deal with anger it is always always a second emotion and finding the frist one whether he is scared hurt or frusterated with himself or others. Don't get me wrong I believe in discipline but we need to listen to our kids usually there is a cause for all bad behavoir. Hang in there, M.

A nine year old should definately be learning to control his temper- and tantrums that are perfectly normal for a 2 year old are not acceptable for a 9 year old.

I would check out the library or check amazon.com and see if there are any books out there- either age appropriate for him- or parenting books for you to help him learn to control the temper.

He is old enough to have a punishment for such behavior... so perhaps an hour of "time out" after school becuase of his morning behavior. He is old enough to remember the bad behavior and understand the consequences even if it the punishment cant come right after the behavior--(like inthe morning -you didnt have time to punish him- as you had to get him to school)

Lisa